Mind-Less Escape
Chapter 1: The Usual
For centuries humans are consistent in doing one thing, killing each other. I often thought about this while driving to my workplace. It made me hopeless at times that those infinite monsters out there will never end. I agree most of the time this job drains the blood out of my veins but it never disappointed me.
Lost is those common thoughts, I parked my car in front of the Quantico building. The early morning 6 am call pulled me out of my deepest sleep as my Boss Hotch ordered me to show up at work after enjoying the week off. Everyone starts the break so excited, so happy to be away from corpses but I was dying to get back. Sitting in my car seat, I was almost too excited to meet my team which I prefer to call my family after a long time.
I almost tripped over the stairs rushing my way to my desk. I learned my lesson a while ago to never use the elevators. Secretly, I have developed a phobia for it now but our kido genius pulled the string for too long before finally letting go of it. I was actually embarrassed.
I opened the glass doors into the world of FBI. I always noticed the smell of the BAU as I entered the smell of crowd, old papers and files. I certainly not miss that! I reached the corner of my desk and saw Reid sitting on my chair going through some papers. He was again wearing his dumb-nerd looking glasses that I highly disliked. I rather not have him walk beside me with those on; it always challenged my sense of style. But, at that time I was more offended with him sitting on my desk than resting those glasses on his nose. I cleared my throat as I stood beside him. To my surprise, he ignored and went on reading the paper in his hands. I shifted myself a little more closely to him. He hates close proximity so I pulled that trick out of my hat.
"If you are trying to annoy me, don't!" Reid finally spoke and pushed me back a little with his hand but keeping his eye on the paper. I moved back willingly. My eyes landed on the desk right across me so I ran over and started opening and closing the drawers. Invading genius's privacy was like stepping on his throat. He dashed from the seat and walked over near me with the angriest look he got.
"What the hell?" He said in his high annoyed tone. I looked up.
"Why, I needed to sit somewhere" I answered innocently.
"I was sitting at your desk for a reason" Reid went on with his annoyed tone.
"It better be good" I closed the drawer.
"I was sitting there to remind me of something I needed to tell you. I knew that an annoyed Morgan would not fail triggering the retrieval clues." Reid went on "So thank you".
"Like you can get any weirder" I pulled out of his chair and he let go off a little giggle as I walked past him back to my desk. That smart ass knew exactly how to ruin my day with his weirdness. I couldn't hold back my smile thinking about how much I missed getting my mornings starting up like this.
"Look at our boys, they didn't even said hi to us" JJ's voice got closer to my ear and I turned my chair around to see two beautiful baby girls walking over to our desk.
"Morning boldies!" I called out. Emily came and sat on top of my desk as JJ just stood there posing.
"So how did the week go?" Emily asked picking up a pencil from my desk and playing with it.
"Ahh—couldn't get any better" I pulled a smiled and asked "You got all the sleep huh?"
"Tons of sleep, my body was actually aching" Emily answered and turned around to notice the stiff Reid lost in reading the papers he held.
"And you Reid, how many books did you memorize over the break?" Emily mocked and I joined in with a laugh. Teasing the pretty boy was like our hobby.
Without shifting his gaze he answered "I don't memorize books!"
"I am so jealous of this paper right now stealing all your attention!" JJ added her bit of teasing.
"It's the instruction sheet of my final term thesis for philosophy. It is about comparing the habituation abilities of human mind with a stone. Interesting huh" Reid finally looked over and waited for warm excited expressions but got emotionless still faces staring at him instead.
"With a stone, how is it even possible?" JJ asked.
"Throughout the history, human mind have been extensively being compared to physical structure of a stone dismissing the actual rigid properties, the formation of a stone is quite similar to how the mind evolution came to be" Reid went on doing his favourite thing in the universe, thinking out loud. At times, it amazed what his mind was busy processing.
"Good for you" Emily made a face and slipped off the desk.
"Hotch wants to see all of us now" JJ told us and we got up to get the briefing on the latest case we will be handling for the next couple of days.
The case briefing was surprisingly short as it was one of the rare cases, couple killing. I made myself a quick coffee with Reid pouring sugar like Niagara Falls.
"You wanted to tell me something?" I leaned over the counter near Reid and his too-sweet coffee.
"More like wanted to ask you something" He stirred his coffee.
"What's there in the world that you don't know about?" I frowned.
"There is one thing you are more specialized in then me" Reid looked up and sipped some coffee to test the sweetness.
"Girls?" I asked after thinking for a while.
"Hmm—that's more of the broad category of my question. I wanted to know how you leave impression on girls you meet." Reid asked hesitantly.
"How come pretty boy so interested in my skills all of a sudden?" I teased.
"Not interested just curious" Reid said making one if his innocent faces.
"So, you are hiding something from me?" I asked
"No"
"You met a girl over the break?"
"No"
"You wanted to impress her?"
"No"
"You failed so now need my help?"
"No, no, no! Let me explain first." Reid raised his voice just a little to gain my attention. The little smirk on his face told the whole story straight. Although, he was awkwardly social but he was never quiet around us. Looking at him, I learned that shyness doesn't accompany silence.
"I am a profiler wonder boy" I laughed off another comment to completely shut him down. It was unintentional.
"Forget it!" He walked away probably realizing the uplifting storms of my comments harassing him from every corner.
…..
In half an hour, we were ready to take off from our private BAU plane to California. The ride was long and boring as Reid was sleeping for the most part. Emily and JJ were busy with their own bingo game rounds and Rossi was reading and discussing the content with Hotch. And there was me skipping songs on my IPod. My eyes focused on the song list that Reid abruptly shifted on his seat. The expression on his face very tensed, his fingers tightly curled in fists. He started to breath unevenly. I looked around to see if anyone else was noticing what I was seeing. For few seconds, the innocent face turned into rigid sickened face. He must be having a nightmare or something, I thought to myself.
Lost in those thoughts, I heard a loud bang and realized Reid just fell off his seat and was brutally pulled out of his sleep.
"Hi-man, are you okay?" I got up and presented my hand for support. He looked flushed out.
"Oh, my back hit hard" Reid managed to speak after a while and stood up to see everyone gathering around. He excused himself from rest to go to washroom. I followed him. I waited until he came out with a wet face.
"Nightmare?" I inquired.
"Nope, it's just those intense headaches coming back" He answered pushing the door close behind him.
"You saw the doctor right?" I asked. His eyes just kept staring at me for a while as if he was deciding of how much to tell me. I knew he was hiding something from us, from me.
"They got nothing" he said. I gave him the unsatisfied stare to give him the signal that I knew he was lying. By now, our friendship was so strong that our eyes did the talking more than our mouths.
"Headaches are just the start Morgan" he let out the words watching his feet, the gesture of embarrassment. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he rose his head up.
"Start of what?" I asked.
"No one needs to know as of now; I don't want to lose my job this early on" Reid said.
"You can trust me boy" I assured him and he walked back to the cabin but my feet were frozen. Headaches were commonly associated with our work but this genius was experiencing them for quite a long time now. During those days, he would turn so cranky and rude but he never told anyone else about it. This was the onset of schizophrenia for him which meant the end of his brilliant mind. He knew every passing minute his brain was degenerating and there was nothing he could do. I remember once at a bar he told me something that never left my mind afterwards. His words, his tone, the underlying sadness breaks me into tears every time I revived them.
"Morgan, since childhood I was treated different. I was never meant to be normal like you. No matter how much I try to fit in, the opposing forces will always be stronger. Looking at my father, I always wanted to become one myself to break all the stereotypes that he created. Sad part, with a dangerous mind like me, I can never even dream of that. It's like owning an unwanted weapon. There's nothing more fearing to me than myself."
I remember his exact words from that night and how much they meant to me. He often called me lucky for a reason I had my mind in my possession.
"The real tragedy occurs when you cannot trust yourself anymore"
At times, I would ponder on those words of Reid. My first impression of him labelled him as someone 'different' and 'weird', someone every excluded and someone who loved being alone but the only thing he ever hated with passion was loneliness.
The real Reid was slowly unfolded to me as every day I learned how the wonder boy operated. I never met someone more caring and concerning of other people in my life. From victims to unsubs, the level of empathy was same. It surprised me of how much he was desperate for warmness and love. Few words of care were enough to stretch those lips into beautiful smile.
Looking at his thin, fragile frame, others often had mistaken him of being vulnerable and at misery of others. He too was well aware of how people perceived him and felt helpless when these comments came out of woman's mind.
"How can you even think any woman would ever wanna be with me?" Reid often questioned me.
I never had any answer to this; I wish I had, to prove him wrong. The idea of love always teased his mind but he never gave much thought to it. I wish I could tell him how wrong he was when he refused to look at himself in the mirror for too long. I wish I could point him out those startling features with a prominent jaw line that outlined his face into something very pleasing to the eye. He rejected to view himself as beautiful.
With me, he was more open than a window on the highest floor. He once told me how he had a little crush on Emily. In his mind, she was the strongest girl he has ever met in his life. Unlike going for the looks, he went after her traits, things he would sometimes notice in her for days and then present them to me.
"If I can only get the guarantee of my mind, I would so wanna marry her"