Peyton sighed as she looked out her window, noticing that Lucas's light was still off. Lucas was her next door neighbor, and her older brother's best friend. She had had a crush on him for years, and somewhere along the way, it had turned into more than a crush. Unfortunately for her, the feelings were not reciprocated, and Lucas was currently out on a date, with his girlfriend, Brooke Davis. Brooke was a junior, like Lucas and Nathan, while Peyton was a mere freshman.
Nathan and Lucas were best friends because Lucas had been living next door since birth, practically. Peyton had known Lucas her whole life, and Lucas had always been kind to her. Peyton knew her brother was a jackass, as were most other guys on the basketball team at Tree Hill High. Heck, most guys at the school were jerks, but Lucas was different. Peyton wasn't on the cheerleading squad, and she didn't do anything that would gain her popularity except for being Nathan Sawyer's little sister.
Yet, Lucas still treated her like a person at school, and not a mere freshman, like most other upperclassmen, even her brother, sometimes. That was probably why she liked him so much, actually, because he saw her as who she was, not what she did, or who she hung out with, or even whose little sister she was. She knew it would never happen, because Nathan would probably throw a fit if something happened between her and his best friend, but she could always hope.
Besides, until a day would come until she could be honest about her feelings, she would appreciate the way things were. She had a good friendship with Lucas. Sometimes Nathan would be busy on a weekend that Lucas wasn't, and Lucas would hang out with Peyton. Or sometimes they hung out by choice. When Lucas had trouble with Brooke, he would come to Peyton and talk, and Peyton liked that. Or, if he didn't want to talk, they would sit, and he would read while she would draw and they'd just enjoy each other's company in silence, and that would be okay too.
The blonde knew that Lucas probably didn't think about it as often as she did or at all, but she thought about him a lot. She loved the way that they could be doing nothing at all, and still have a good time. She loved how down to earth he was, even though he was an amazing basketball player and still a good student as well. He never bragged about anything he did, and he wasn't cocky like her brother was. Nathan knew he was good, and he used that. Lucas never abused his talent the way Nathan did, to get into girls pants, or to barely scrape by in school.
Of course, she knew that although he didn't use girls, they were always around him, and he would probably never look at her. For one, he had Brooke, when they weren't off. Brooke and Lucas were a very on and off couple, and he swore that he wasn't ready to settle down anyway, but she knew it hurt him each time Brooke broke things off with him so she could screw someone else. That never stopped him from taking her back though. Peyton liked to think that it was because he had a connection with Brooke, but she knew at least Brooke only went back to him so many times because he was one of the most popular guys in school.
Even Peyton had to admit that she could see what Lucas and every other guy saw in Brooke. She was beautiful, with dark hair, and cocoa colored eyes, and she was a cheerleader. She wore short skirts and high heels. Brooke didn't wear glasses, and she had had braces in middle school, so her teeth were perfect. She liked to have fun, and she was one of the girls who spent hours getting ready in the morning, with never a hair out of place, and she never left the house without make-up on.
On the other hand, Peyton had unruly blonde hair, which she could rarely tame, because it took too much time. She rolled out of bed in the morning, took a shower, and that was it. She didn't usually wear make-up, and the only thing she did with her hair was leave it down in its mop of curls. It couldn't really be called a style. She didn't cheerlead, and she only rarely played basketball. She was more of a softball player, but she had yet to be on an organized team. She wore glasses and her teeth weren't really straight, but they weren't crooked enough to need braces. She wore tee-shirts and sneakers, and she never wore any type of skirts.
Still, despite all of that, she would keep on hanging out with Lucas every chance she got trying to make him realize what she had already realized. He should be with her. No one else knew him like she did. She knew his favorite color, and his favorite movies. She knew his secrets, and his aspirations. She liked the same music as he did, music that his girlfriend, and most of his friends hated. She got his sense of humor, and, really, she just got him. She knew that he really didn't want to play basketball for the rest of his life, but he did it, because his father did. She also knew that although his father had abandoned him and his mother, he sought to make him proud, even though he had a great father figure in Keith, and he wished his mom and Keith should get together already.
A few months into Peyton's freshman year, Lucas comes over looking for Nathan. Larry, their father, was out to sea, working, like he'd been doing more and more often lately, starting since their mother died when Peyton was seven. Nathan was also out, so Peyton had to set down her sketchbook, despite the fact that she hated being interrupted when she was deep into her drawing. She moved the needle off of the record and went downstairs to open the door, only to find Lucas there.
Immediately, she wished she had looked out the window before going to the door. Her curls were pulled into a messy ponytail, and she was wearing a baggy tee-shirt and a pair of sleep shorts. It was Friday night, and she didn't have anywhere to go, so she was already in her pajamas. The tee-shirts happened to be one of Lucas's, which he had left over at the house one time. Peyton had stolen it from the laundry and slept in it practically every night. She was wearing her glasses because she had taken her contacts out after school. She was still trying to get used to the contacts, actually, since she'd only gotten them at the beginning of the school year.
Instantly, Peyton could tell something was wrong with Lucas, and she forgot about what she was wearing, or what her hair looked like. She still checked him out. He was wearing a red tee-shirt and his favorite pair of jeans. They also happened to be her favorite pair of jeans on him. They were worn, but still fitted, and they had a few holes, but Peyton thought that just gave them character. "Are you okay?" she asked, opening the door further, indicating that he should step inside.
Not moving from her front porch, Lucas shuffled anxiously from one foot to the other. He asked if her brother was here, and she felt herself deflate a little as she told him that he wasn't. She couldn't help but feel the least bit disappointed, though she'd never admit it. "Will you come with me then?" he asked, gesturing towards his truck. He noticed her looking down at her clothes in hesitation. "Please?" he pleaded. He just needed to get away, play some basketball, and have someone by his side, to distract him. He had initially come to ask Nathan to play basketball, but he realized hanging out with Peyton would probably be better.
At the tone of his voice, Peyton couldn't help but agree, no matter what she was wearing. She slipped her flip-flops on and followed him over to his truck, the passenger side never looking better to her than it did in his car. She got in, and he began to drive. She knew he was on his way to the Rivercourt as soon as he started driving, and when he spoke, she knew what the deal was. "I'm never falling in love, and I advise you to do the same. Love, and dating, it brings nothing but trouble," he let out a bitter laugh as he ran his hand through his hair.
Of course, she lets out a laugh. She really hopes he's joking. She knows he's upset right now, so she asks him to tell her what happened. Apparently, Lucas and Brooke got in another fight, and they've broken up again. As he goes on, she listens, focusing on his eyes whenever he flits his gaze over to her. She counts all of the shades of blue in his eyes, as she's trying not to fall into them, because they're so deep, she felt as if she could fall forever if she let herself get lost in them. Her greatest wish is that he would fall in love, with her.
It wasn't something she'd hold her breath over, but it was a dream of hers, one she only wished she could give up on. He tells a joke, and she smiles, but doesn't say anything, because his favorite song has come on the radio. It's one she doesn't really like, but she reaches over and turns it up anyway, because she knows it'll cheer him up, and he needs some of that, despite however many times he insists that he's fine. She doesn't really understand why he keeps taking Brooke back, except that maybe he does love her, no matter what he says. She can't help but think that's not good for her.
A few weeks later, Peyton's sitting on her bed; her curtains open as she draws. She's wearing jean shorts because even though the weather is fading from summer to fall, it's still kind of warm, and she's wearing a black Ramones tee-shirt. She has a record playing, and one of her favorite songs comes on. She gets the sudden urge to dance, so she does, getting up and pulling her hair out of its messy bun as she dances around the room. She really lets go on those rare occasions that she does dance, and this is one of those occasions. The song reminds her of Lucas a bit, and she can't help mouthing the words too.
It just so happens that her window is facing Lucas's. It's always been that way, and most of the time she's grateful for it. When the song ends, and she faces the window, noticing Lucas standing in his room, watching her, she can't help but think that now is not one of those times. Blushing bright red, she sits down on her bed, grabbing her sketchbook and a thick black marker, flipping to a blank page. Not funny! She writes the words on the paper and holds it out for him to read. He was still chuckling as he grabbed his notebook and a pen, scrawling out a message to her. It read: Backyard?
The blonde knew exactly what he meant, so she nodded, pulling her hair back into the bun as she raced down the stairs and out her backdoor. Nathan yelled at her to stop running up and down the stairs, because he could hear it all through the house, but she ignored him. He had a girl over, Rachel, she was pretty sure, so he didn't mind as he shut his bedroom door again. She was out in the backyard and going through the hole in the fence that separated her yard from Lucas's before said boy made it outside.
There was a giddy smile on Lucas's face, and she wondered what had brought that on. It couldn't have been the first basketball game of the season, which had taken place the night before. Even though the team had won, Lucas himself had done horrible, and that was a nice way to put it. Peyton had really never seen him play that badly before. It was a bit shocking. Anyway, she was wondering what was making him so happy as he walked up to her. "What's your deal? Did Keith finally ask your mom out?" she asked. She didn't consider any other possibilities. Nothing to do with Brooke crossed her mind.
As soon as he told her that he had reconciled things with Brooke, her smile faded and she asked him what happened to never falling in love. She had to admit, the tone sounded a little harsh, as did the phrasing of the question, but she couldn't take it back. "What is your problem, Peyt? I thought you were my friend, and you wanted me to be happy," he said, hurt coloring his tone. He had thought, as his best friend's baby sister, the girl he considered his own sister, she'd be happy for him when something good happened to him.
Wincing at his tone, she immediately forced a smile. It was only partially forced, because he had used the shortened version of her name. Pretty much Lucas was the only one to call her by the shortened version of her name, and she couldn't help but smile whenever she heard him say it. "Sorry, Luke, you're right. I am happy for you. I just don't want you to get hurt again," she said apologetically, then she began to retreat. She didn't think she could handle it if he began talking about his girlfriend. "I have to go to the Rivercourt. I'm meeting Mouth, Skills, Jimmy, Fergie and Junk," she said as she headed back to her yard.
Without giving him time to respond, she made her hasty retreat. The Rivercourt guys were her freshmen group of friends, and the only ones who knew about her crush on her older brothers best friend. She had them sworn to secrecy, but that didn't mean they didn't tease her about it. She was pretty sure they would be at the Rivercourt, but she figured she could go there regardless, because the place was like a refuge for her. She spent most of her time there, whether it was with the guys, or with Lucas and Nathan, or even by herself. It was her favorite place to go, really, and it was rare to find her anywhere else after school.
So she went up to her room, grabbed her sketchbook and hurried back downstairs. She could hear the music coming from her brother's bedroom, and let's just say that she knew it was time to get out of the house. She hurried outside and began her slow walk to the Rivercourt. The guys were there when she got there, and she told them what had happened. She got little sympathy, and was forced into a game of basketball, two against two. She and Junk played against Skills and Fergie as Mouth and Jimmy commentated.
Not two months later, Peyton entered her room, glancing out her window to notice Lucas was on the phone, pacing in his room. He kept running his hand through his hair, and he was exasperated, she could tell even from the distance. She went into her bathroom, to take out her contacts because they were bugging her, and she returned to her room, carefully, because she had to get her glasses from her nightstand. She put them on, and then looked out her window again. Lucas was still on the phone, and his anger seemed to be escalating.
Finally, after running his fingers through his hair one last time, he threw the phone onto his bed, after hanging up on whoever was on the other line. Peyton grabbed the notebook she had lying on her nightstand and her marker, which was right next to it. She wrote 'Answer,' on the paper, and then picked up her phone, dialing Lucas's number. He had thrown himself on the bed, but she saw him sit up and look around as the phone started ringing. She waved the sign around so he would notice it, because she knew there was no Caller ID in his room, and he probably wouldn't answer otherwise.
Following the instructions on her paper, Lucas picked up his phone and hit the talk button, putting it up to his ear. She asked what had happened, and he launched into this long diatribe about Brooke, and how he had made a joke at lunch today, and she still was angry at him about it. After some prodding, Lucas told her what he had said, and, like Lucas, she couldn't understand what Brooke had flipped out over. It was typical Lucas humor, but she also knew it was something Brooke would never get, and Lucas would never understand why she didn't get him. Brooke had the best guy she could get, and she was always doing something to screw that up.
It was just unfathomable to Peyton that Brooke didn't understand how good she had it. Lucas was an amazing guy, and Brooke took him for granted. Peyton would never take him for granted, not if Lucas would get it through his head that they belonged together. She knew everything about him, and she wouldn't let him forget it. She couldn't really say that to him now, though. She couldn't even bring herself to say I told you so, even though she kind of had. "Things will get better between you two. They always do," she said instead. He thanked her for her optimism, because he obviously didn't catch the hint of bitterness in her voice.
After they hung up, Lucas picked up a book, and Peyton turned her music up, and began to sketch. The drawing showed her secret dream. It pictured both their windows, across from each other, and Peyton was holding up a paper that said, I love you, and Lucas was holding up one that said the same thing. She really wished she could make that a reality. She hadn't even told the guys that she wanted to confess her feelings to Lucas one day. They all believed that she was too scared to. She was. Not for herself, though. She was scared of what would happen to her brothers relationship with his best friend if she was honest. One day she'd get over her fears, though.
As she was planning to go to bed, she noticed he was on the phone again. It appeared Brooke had called to apologize, or something, and she didn't put it the right way, because Lucas wasn't ready to forgive her yet. When he got off the phone again, Peyton had already written a message for him. 'You okay?' it read. Smiling at her, as he sat on his bed and grabbed his notebook and pen, he wrote back, 'Tired of drama!' Peyton replied with a 'Sorry,' and a frowny face beneath it, to which he just shrugged in reply. She was working up her courage and finally wrote those three words she so longed to tell him, but when she lifted up her paper to show him, his curtains were closed.
When Keith was murdered, and Jimmy Edwards took his own life, just months later, Peyton was not surprised that the only people that saw Lucas were the ones that sought him out, usually at the Rivercourt or in his room. Besides school, he didn't go anywhere else, and he didn't seek out anyone's company. The only time he had gone somewhere besides those three places was for the funeral. That was why she was surprised when, just a few days after the funeral, on a Tuesday night, she found herself looking up to see Lucas standing in her doorway.
The music was pounding in the background, low enough so her brother didn't complain, since Larry had come only for the funeral before leaving town again, but loud enough that they would have to shout to talk to each other. Lucas didn't seem to plan on talking, though. Peyton was lying on her stomach on her bed, with her laptop in front of her as she typed up an English essay, and her legs bent at the knees, so her feet were in the air. Lucas walked in the room and laid on his back, with his head on her pillow as he stared up at her ceiling. It, like the walls in her room, was painted red.
For a little while, neither of them said anything. Peyton just let her record play, and tried to focus on finishing her essay, and not the fact that the guy she loved was laying in her bed, and she wanted to comfort him. She knew that the silence, except for the music, of course, was what he needed. He'd talk when he was ready. That was the way he'd always been. Once she had finished with her essay, she saved her final draft and sent it to her teacher's email, since it was already late. The teacher had been a little sympathetic, considering there had been a shooting involved, and Peyton had been shot in the leg by one of her best friends. She still couldn't believe she hadn't seen the signs.
Of course, she wouldn't burden Lucas with her problems. She knew that Lucas blamed himself, because he had gone back in to save Peyton, though he would insist, quite adamantly, that he would never regret saving her. It was just the fact that he believed that if he hadn't gone back inside, Keith wouldn't have either. It didn't help that Karen was in a stage of grief and was blaming her son for the loss of her fiancé as well. Yeah, Keith and Karen had gotten engaged. He had asked her after just a month of dating, but everyone thought he had waited far too long. Peyton knew that Keith would have gone into the school either way, though, It was just who he was. Eventually, Karen and Lucas would see that too.
After putting her laptop away, Peyton moved to lie on the bed next to him, on her back as well, staring up at the ceiling. The music was still the only thing filling the silence in the room. Not for long, though. "You know, Brooke would never listen to music like this," he said after another song finished, startling Peyton a little. "She hates it, in fact. Doesn't understand why I listen to it," he continued, confusing Peyton completely. They were going to talk about music, with everything there was to talk about, and Brooke, obviously.
The ever-oblivious blond next to her didn't notice Peyton's discomfort at the mention of his girlfriend, of course, so he just continued, unaware, as always, that Peyton wished he would just look around the room, and realize what she'd known all along. He belonged with her, not Brooke. It was Peyton who understood him, who knew his story in a way Brooke couldn't even imagine. It was the blonde girl who he had chosen to reach out toward, and it was the same blonde who knew everything about him, through careful study and observation over the years. It was Peyton who felt her heart race when she caught the glimpse of the guy next to her. She would bet that he hadn't even told Brooke that Peyton had kissed him in the library on the day that he had saved her life.
Honestly, Peyton hadn't told anyone about that kiss either. She felt horribly embarrassed by it, for one. Another reason was because she felt like it was something that should stay between her and Lucas. It was their own private moment, and it didn't need to be told to everyone. Besides, no one would understand, especially not her brother. She was pretty sure that Lucas just chalked it up to the fact that she was quickly losing blood, and consciousness. No one else would understand that it had meant something, to her. She hadn't been suffering from delusions. In fact, she had never been thinking more clearly. The thought that she might never see Lucas again had caused her to be more honest with him than she'd ever been in her life.
The main reason she didn't share it with her friends, though, was because she'd been kind of avoiding them lately. As much as Lucas had been pulling away from everyone, she had been too. She couldn't even go to the Rivercourt anymore, because even though she had tons of memories there with other people, every time she went there she thought of Jimmy. She couldn't help but place a little bit of blame on herself, for Jimmy's death, and Keith's. If she had just noticed the signs, she should have been able to tell that Jimmy was hating life that much. As for Keith, if she hadn't been shot by Jimmy's ricocheting bullet, then Lucas wouldn't have had to come in to save her, and Keith may not have gone in.
Instead of saying anything, Peyton waited, hoping Lucas would keep going. If he would just talk to her, she could at least try to find the right words to say. She knew that it was a hard situation he was in, but she had lost her mom, so she was the one who might be able to understand what he was going through. Well, there was always Nathan, who happened to be Lucas's best friend, but Peyton was pretty sure that Nathan was out with Theresa, despite the fact that it was Tuesday night. It was a school night, and, though the semester was about to end, they still had finals this week. She didn't understand how her brother could care so little about school and so much about basketball and sex. Not that the latter was something she particularly cared to think about. Ever.
Even though he's talking about Brooke, in reality, Lucas found his mind drifting back to the kiss in the library, while Peyton's leg was bleeding, and she was slowly slipping away from him. It couldn't mean anything, right? He had a girlfriend, really, and she was his best friend's baby sister, for goodness sake. Honestly, she thought that he didn't realize anything; that he still looked around and was completely clueless, but she was wrong. That one simple kiss had really opened up his eyes, and there were some feelings that had surfaced that he just wasn't ready to admit, to anyone, not even himself. He was also telling himself that Peyton hadn't meant anything by it; she had just been scared for her life. Then why couldn't he stop thinking about the way her lips felt on his?
If Peyton could only know what Lucas was thinking, things would be a lot easier. Actually, the same could be said if Lucas could know what Peyton was thinking. Then they wouldn't have to go skirting around the subject. Of course, things are never that simple, so both of them keep holding their feelings, though, on that night, Lucas finally opens up and lets some other feelings out that he'd been keeping bottled up. The pair of blondes get closer after that, and start spending a lot more time together. They remain strictly friends, especially since he's still dating Brooke, but neither of them can stop thinking about being more than friends with the other.
A few months later, Lucas discovers that his mom is pregnant, with his uncle's baby, and the worst part is, she's known about it for three months, and she had been two months pregnant when she found out. This, for some reason, causes his father, whom Lucas doesn't look to as a father, to start hanging around his mother, as if he's hoping to be the father that this baby never will get, the way Keith was to Lucas. Unsure of how he feels about that, Lucas goes to Peyton, immediately, to talk about his feelings. Brooke doesn't like that, because she can find her boyfriend hanging out with the younger blonde more often than she likes.
So, one day after school, Brooke decides to confront the freshman about staying away from her man. As soon as the accusation comes out of her mouth, Peyton's first reaction is that she wished Brooke had something to be jealous of. She wished that Lucas had shown even the least bit of interest in her as anything more than a friend, but if he had, she didn't notice. What she didn't realize was that she had, but she just didn't see it. The second reaction to Brooke's accusation was annoyance. "Listen, Brooke, tell me this: Do you know his favorite color? Or even when his birthday is? Do you know anything about him, really?" she asked, her Sawyer temper flaring up at the brunette she's always disliked.
Taking a step back in her high heels, Brooke didn't like the accusation that was being thrown back at her. To be honest, what she really didn't like was the truth in Peyton's point. She didn't even know her boyfriend's favorite color. Peyton could see that, and she continued. "His favorite color happens to be green. His birthday is on the seventeenth, but I won't tell you which month. He loves to argue, and he loves to write in his spare time. I bet you didn't know he could play guitar, pretty well, in fact. He doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, but he knows his career won't be in playing professional basketball. I'm just his friend, so back off, and actually be his girlfriend," she said before stalking off.
There were no more encounters between Peyton and Brooke after that, but the brunette did try to spend more time with her boyfriend. Lucas was still spending most of his time with Peyton, though, trying to figure out his newfound feelings. Barely a month after that encounter, she was walking through town with Lucas. They were laughing and talking about nothing of consequence, and it was good to see Lucas this way. It was pretty much the first time she'd seen him so carefree since the school shooting. He never even laughed with anyone but her. She was glad that she could help him in that way at least.
As the two of them sat down on a bench, because they'd been walking around town for hours, and had probably circled the whole thing at least once, Peyton once again checked out Lucas's clothing. He was, once again, wearing his favorite pair of worn jeans, and a blue tee-shirt, with a lighter blue button down over it. The button down was left open, and she could practically see his abs through his tight blue tee-shirt. She was overcome with the sudden urge to reach over and feel his abs, but she managed to resist by looking away from them and thinking of something else. She could smell him because they were sitting so close to each other on the bench, and it wasn't a smell she ever wanted to stop smelling. To her, it was the best scent in the world.
When Peyton looked away, biting her lip, Lucas took the opportunity to overlook her again. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts, and her standard black Converse, as well as a large concert tee, which she tied in the back because it was too big for her. Her hair was up in a pony tail, and as curly as ever, which he loved. Her long, tanned legs were being shown off due to her shorts and he felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and touch them. Her legs were one of his favorite features of hers, after her eyes, even though her legs were a bit on the chickeny side. He could stare at her legs for hours, and probably would, if that wouldn't be construed as creepy.
Both of them were enjoying the time they spent together, though one question lingered in the back of each of their minds. Why was the other spending so much time with them? Both of them knew they were spending time with the other because they each had a crush on each other. Peyton was glad that Lucas was spending time with her, and she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that, but she just didn't understand why he was spending all his time with her. Lucas was kind of wondering the same thing. Not about why he was spending his time with her, but why she was spending her time with him. Neither of them pointed out how much they hung out, though, because they didn't want to destroy the delicate balance of their friendship.
They struck up a conversation that was mainly about nothing, and they argued about something stupid, as the often did. It was true Lucas liked to argue, but Peyton didn't mind, because she actually liked getting into these debates with him. It never escalated to the point that they got mad at each other, they just discussed something, trying to get the other to see their point of view, if they happened to disagree about the subject at hand. That didn't happen often, though. Most of the time they agreed on everything. Except the Cure. Lucas would never understand why she liked them. Sure, he thought the lyrics to their songs were good, but he didn't really like the actual band. No matter how many discussions about the Cure they had, Peyton could never get him to see it her way, and vice versa.
After they finally agreed to disagree, they sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the people go by. Peyton suddenly turned to him, her face lighting up with the look that let him know she had an idea, and that he might not like it. "Let's go to the beach," she said excitedly. Yup, it was one of the ideas that he didn't like. It was early spring, not exactly the weather yet for going to the beach. She saw that he opened his mouth to protest. "Come on, Luke, please, it'll be fun," she pleaded, throwing in a puppy dog face that he was just unable to say no to. After some contemplation, Lucas gave in, and Peyton grinned at him, causing his heart rate to speed up considerably.
Just as they got up, so they could walk over to their houses and change into beach ware, then get into his truck and go, Brooke pulled up in front of their bench, in her convertible blue Volkswagen Beetle. Ignoring Peyton, she called to Lucas. "Boyfriend, come on, get in. You and I are supposed to go the movies today. Or did you forget? I've been looking for you everywhere," she said, waving him over. Lucas, torn, looked at Peyton. He had promised Brooke that they would go to the movies today, and he had forgotten. He really wanted to spend time with Peyton, but Brooke was his girlfriend, and he'd been kind of neglecting her lately. Peyton, sensing his dilemma, told him to go on, and then began walking home, despite his protests. As she walked away, quickly, so he wouldn't see the tears that had momentarily welled up in her eyes, she had to pretend it didn't hurt her.
A month after that, and Brooke and Lucas are back to fighting all the time. They stay together, but neither of their hearts are in it anymore. Neither one is willing to admit that they just don't work anymore. Lucas had managed to convince Peyton to join the softball team, so lately, Peyton had been riding home with her brother after practice, because Brooke's car was in the shop, and so she was hitching rides with her boyfriend. Unfortunately, this particular day, Nathan had ditched her, so he could give his latest flavor of the week a ride home, and she was stuck sitting in between Brooke and Lucas in the cab of his truck.
Not even two blocks away from the school they start bickering, because Brooke was already in a bad mood because they had to give Peyton a ride home. Brooke still hadn't warmed up to the blonde, and, as cheer captain of the Varsity cheerleaders, and the most popular girl in school, she really didn't have to. Peyton sank into the seat, wishing that she wasn't in between the two argumentative lovers. Not five blocks later, she insisted to be let out, at the Rivercourt, claiming that she'd rather go there than home anyway. Brooke forced Lucas to let her out, and the couple drove on.
As soon as Peyton stepped onto the court, noticing her old friends there, she regretted her decision to stop at the Rivercourt. She decided that it was time to make things right with them, though, so she hitched her bag higher on her shoulder, bracing herself as she made her way onto the court. It took a lot of conversation, and apologies all around, but Peyton finally made things right between her and her oldest friends. She stayed for a couple of hours, catching up on all the latest gossip. Mouth, apparently, was dating a sophomore girl named Gigi, whom he had hired to help him commentate at the basketball games. Skills had a thing for a freshman named Bevin, who was on the freshman cheer squad. Nothing had happened there yet, but he was sure it would happen soon.
When Peyton walked home a little while later, as it was getting dark, she was surprised to find her brother waiting for her in the living room. He immediately stood when she appeared in the doorway, and, cutting right to the chase, asked her if she liked Lucas. Shocked, Peyton could say nothing for a moment. How had he known? "No, of course not. He's your best friend. We're just friends, Nathan, that's all we'll ever be," she defended, trying not to sound too defensive, or he would know something was up. Unfortunately, though she had initially lied to Nathan, the last part of her statement, she was sure was true. To take the focus off of her, Peyton asked where the bimbo he had come home with was, and the topic of her and Lucas was successfully avoided.
Just two short weeks after that, Brooke and Lucas had a major fight, again, and their both about ready to throw in the towel, but neither of them are the giving up type, so they both are stubbornly hanging onto something that's long over. Lucas went over to his best friend's house right after it happened. The funny thing was, he wasn't sure whether he would call Peyton or Nathan his best friend. It was just lucky that they lived in the same house. Or maybe, given his feelings for the blonde, not so lucky. Either way, he knocked on the door to the Sawyer house, hoping he would see one of his best friends. Peyton was the one who answered the door, and he was kind of glad, but not glad at the same time, because he knew that he would want to talk about what happened with Peyton, and he just really didn't want to talk about Brooke at all.
Opening the door and seeing Lucas there, Peyton could immediately tell something was wrong with him. She desperately wanted to pull him into a hug, but she forced herself to stay by the door. She was wearing only sleep shorts and a tank top, and she could feel his gaze slide over her. She had her contacts in, because she had only just gotten home from a game, and changed into some comfortable clothes. She hadn't made it into the bathroom to take out her contacts yet. Her hair was pulled up into a high bun, so it would be completely out of her face. She wasn't wearing any make-up, but he thought she looked more beautiful than if she'd dressed up.
They both stand there awkwardly for a minute, before he clears his throat. Before either of them could say anything, though, Nathan comes up behind Peyton, and pushes past her, to greet Lucas with one of those man-hugs. "Hey, man, what are you doing here?" he asked. Before he could give Lucas a chance to respond, though, he noticed Peyton still standing there, and gestured for Lucas to follow him to his room. "Come on, man, let's go play some Play station," he added, turning and brushing past his sister again as he headed for his room.
With some hesitation, Lucas followed after him, looking back at Peyton hesitantly. Nathan had been acting a little weird about giving Lucas and Peyton any alone time, but that didn't matter, because he still spent so much time with girls, and he didn't care much about what his best friend or sister were doing then. "What's wrong?" Peyton asks Lucas before he could disappear the way Nathan did. Lucas stares into her eyes for a moment, but then he just shakes his head, gives her a smile they both know is fake, and follows Nathan. She knows he's lying, but instead of pushing it, she goes up to her room.
Another two weeks after that, and Brooke and Lucas finally reach their last straw. Both of them agree that this will finally be the last time they break up. It's over, for good. Lucas can't help but be a little relieved. He plays basketball at the Riverourt with Nathan for a while on the day it happens, but Nathan soon has to leave for a date. So Lucas plays by himself for a while, before Peyton's other friends show up. Instead of leaving, Lucas plays with them for a while, and they form a friendship, over basketball.
When it gets dark, the other guys have to go home, and Lucas heads home as well, knowing his mother won't like it if he stays out too late. They've finally got their relationship back on track, because things had gotten better after she found out she was pregnant, and began to come to terms with the whole thing. She began to let Dan into her life, and Lucas couldn't say he really liked that, but there was nothing he could do. His mom was happy and that was all that mattered. He hoped to talk to his mom when he got home, but Dan was asleep on the couch, and so he couldn't have the heartfelt conversation he wanted.
It was a few hours later when he realized that he wanted to talk to one person, and one person only. So he got snuck downstairs and left through the side door of the house. He crossed the yards, and started throwing rocks. At around midnight, Peyton heard the rocks hitting her window. She wondered where they were coming from, and who would be trying to get her attention in the middle of the night. She crossed her room to her window, after grabbing her glasses from the nightstand, and opened it, looking outside. She noticed Lucas, and wondered why he was throwing rocks instead of coming in. "What are you doing, goof? Just come in through the back door," she said. It was a known fact that the doors to the Sawyer house were always left unlocked.
As she pulled her head back in the window, she heard the door open downstairs and a few moments later Lucas was standing in her doorway. She had already lain on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, and Lucas lay down next to her, their shoulders touching and nothing more. Peyton was beginning to wonder what he was going to start talking, when she felt his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. She looked over at him in alarm. "Brooke and I are over, for good," he said, but she knew that wasn't why he was crying.
In reality, she knew he needed to cry, so she just let him. He had yet to cry since Keith died, except for at the funeral, and she knew that although he hated people to see him cry, and he pretended that he was over it, he really wasn't. He didn't have his closure yet. She was, however, a little pleased that he was crying in front of her. They talked for a couple of hours, about how he didn't believe that Jimmy really killed Keith. Of course, Peyton had never truly believed that Jimmy could take someone else's life, but she always thought that it was just her wishful thinking. They talked about the different possibilities, but there weren't many. "I just miss him, you know, so much. Does the pain ever go away?" he asked.
Of course, he was referring to her pain from losing her mom. She wished that she could tell him it did, but she couldn't, not honestly anyway. So she rolled onto her side, leaning her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around him, trying to comfort him. "I wish I could say it did, but really, it still hurts. Eventually it fades, but it still hasn't gone away, for me, at least. I can't say the same for Nathan, but I think he just hides his pain. He'll never talk about her with me. I can't even mention her around him without him closing up and changing the subject. Anyway, in answer to your question, it'll get easier, but there will be times when the pain is pretty much unbearable," she told him, listening to the steady beat of his heart as his sobs faded.
For a little while nothing more was said. Lucas enjoyed laying there with Peyton and he didn't want to disturb their silence. Peyton was also enjoying his presence. They had never lain like that before, and Lucas was running his fingers through her hair every so often. "Peyton?" he asked, and she looked up at him with an eyebrow cocked in question. "Thanks, you know, for being here for me. You're the only one I can talk to about stuff like this. I mean, Brooke was great, but every time I tried to take the conversation somewhere heavy, she tried to distract me in another way," he paused as she kind of winced. "Anyway, thanks, for everything," he finished.
Before she knew what she was doing, Peyton had closed the gaps between their lips and was kissing him fiercely. Lucas froze for a minute, knowing Nathan would kill him if he walked in, but then he realized he didn't care, and before she could stop kissing him, he was kissing her back with equal passion. It went on for a few minutes, but then he seemed to realize what was happening and he broke the kiss, moving faster than she'd ever seen him move as he jumped up and headed for the door. At the door he stopped, and turned to her. "I'm just," he paused, "I'm sorry," he said, and then he was gone.
Left alone in her room, Peyton didn't know what to think. He had definitely been kissing her back, so why did he stop? She was forced to come to the conclusion that she had startled him into kissing her back, but he didn't want a relationship with her, and that was his way of trying to reject her, nicely. Well, then, she would just pretend it had never happened. Why did that make her want to cry, though? To be honest, she knew why. The guy she had loved had just broken her heart, despite the fact that she had known it would never work out. She leaned over and opened the drawer to her nightstand, pulling out the slip of paper that contained the three words she would never be able to tall Lucas now.
As soon as he left her house, Lucas stopped on the front porch. Why had he run away from what he had been wanting for so long? He knew it was because Peyton was only kissing him because she felt sorry for him. She didn't actually have any feelings for him, did she? Then why had she started the kiss? He decided that it didn't matter anyway. Nathan would kill him if he found out, and so he never could. So Lucas would just have to pretend that it had never happened, and try to go on with his life. Why couldn't he stop thinking about the way Peyton's lips felt on his, then? He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, from which he pulled out a slip of paper. It held the three words he wanted to tell Peyton, but never would be able to.
Neither blonde mentioned the kiss after the fact, and they tried their best to continue their friendship the way things had been, but they weren't really successful. Things between them were strained, to say the least. Lucas spent more time with Nathan, and trying to find out what had happened to Keith over the next month. He had remembered that there was someone else in the hallway, a pair of eyes staring through the blinds of an office window, with a perfect view of what happened, but he couldn't figure out who it was. Dan's presence around his mom made him increasingly weary, but he couldn't figure out why, since Dan hadn't been in the school. He just wanted to know what happened to the man he considered a father,
As for Peyton, she was spending all her time at the Rivercourt again. Only now Gigi and Bevin were hanging around all the time too, so she had some girlfriends. She formed a serious bond with them, and even told them about her secret crush on Lucas. It was really the first time she had ever had friends that were girls, so it was nice to talk to them about it. Both of them told her she should just confront Lucas about her feelings, but she was really adamant about not doing that. The school year was winding to a close, but she felt that even if things between Gigi and Mouth and Skills and Bevin didn't last through the summer, they would still be friends.
Since the school year was almost over, the teenagers at Tree Hill high school were throwing a party in celebration. It was a little early, in Peyton's opinion, since they still had a couple of weeks left, and then finals, but who was she to stop the popular kids from having their night of drunken debauchery? Bevin was invited because she was a cheerleader, and she insisted that Skills, of course, Gigi, Mouth, Peyton, Fergie and Junk come as well.
Immediately Fergie and Junk declined, and so did Peyton, but Gigi, Mouth and Skills planned on going with her. Gigi and Bevin tried to convince Peyton to go, but she flat out refused, mainly because she didn't want to see Lucas hook up with someone else, which had been known to happen when people got drunk. She knew he was going to be there, too, because Nathan had told her that he and Lucas were going, and she should go to. Her brother had told her that she was, in no uncertain terms, not allowed to do any drinking herself, but she really would rather stay home and study for finals.
Which was why she was lounging on her bed, in her pajamas, her glasses falling down her nose as she drew, the music pounding in her ears the way she liked it. She only happened to glance over at her open window, and notice Lucas standing in his. He was wearing black slacks and a blue button down that brought out his eyes. He looked gorgeous, according to her, and his hair was the perfect length for his facial structure. He couldn't have looked better, in her opinion. Then she noticed that he was writing in his notebook, so she flipped to a blank page on her sketchbook and grabbed her thick black marker as she waited for him to finish.
When he held up his notebook, it read: 'You going tonight?' Biting on her lip, Peyton shook her head as she looked down to write. It read: 'No, studying.' He looked upset, but she decided she was just imagining things. He wrote back to her, 'Wish you were!' She just shrugged, glancing over to her drawer, where the note she had written so long ago was sitting. She could easily show it to him now, but, then again, she just couldn't. He left a few minutes later, and she went back to studying, at least until there was a knock on the door.
Due to the fact that Nathan had left already, she sighed, getting up so she could go downstairs and answer the door. There, on the doorstep was a box. Curiously, Peyton picked it up, looking around, but whoever had delivered it was gone. She opened it, and saw the a silver off the shoulder top and a light blue skirt. It was perfect for the party, cute, but not to dressy. The top would fit her in a way her tee-shirts didn't and the skirt would probably flow to mid-thigh. As she pulled it out of the box, a note fell to the floor. It read: 'With this outfit, you just have to come! Pamper yourself, put on some make-up and come and get your man! Love, Gigi and Bevin'
After a moment of contemplation, Peyton hurried up the stairs. She had taken a shower as soon as she had gotten home from practice, and she had even thought to shave. So, she stripped off her pajamas and put on her strapless bra, before slipping on the outfit. She applied cream to her legs and arms, and then she set to work on her hair and make-up. When she was finished, she was quite pleased with herself.
Looking in the mirror, she smiled at her final appearance. The top hugged her upper body perfectly, and the skirt flowed out a little down to her mid-thighs. She had switched her glasses for her contacts and kept her make-up natural. She had also rubbed some silver body glitter on her arms and the exposed part of her chest. She had tamed her curls, and they cascaded down her back in a way they didn't normally. Luckily, she had a pair of silver heels that would go with the top, and a clutch that would match the skirt. Inside the clutch was the note she wanted to show Lucas.
As soon as Peyton stepped into the living room, and saw all the grinding bodies and heard the drunken murmurs amongst the music, Peyton felt out of her element. Her mouth felt dry as she looked around the room. She noticed Brooke talking to Lucas, despite the fact that he had completely brushed her off at the last basketball game of the season. He said he wasn't going to take her back, but Peyton should have known that wouldn't last. She saw the drink in his hand, and suddenly, that was what she wanted to do, drink. She made her way to the keg and took a beer, downing it, then she refilled it and downed it again.
After the third refill, she headed into the mass of bodies. She began dancing with random guys, and downing shots as said guys put them in her hands. She was in the middle of the dance floor, grinding against the closest guy to her when Lucas finally saw her. He had been drinking quite a bit as well, and as soon as the crowd parted and he could see her, he pushed past Brooke and made his way through the squirming mass of bodies. He immediately grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the living room. Her friends were outside, and didn't even know she had arrived. Lucas pulled her upstairs and into an empty bedroom before her brother could see her and kill every guy in the room.
That was maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but Nathan wasn't one to let anyone lay hands on his little sister, especially since she was drunk, which she obviously was. Unfortunately, both of them were, and they stumbled up the stairs and into a room. As soon as they were in there, Peyton closed the door, and began digging in her clutch. When she found the paper-it was hard to find, because the room was spinning-she pulled it out and opened it up for him to see. He stared at it in shock, and she almost began to regret showing him, until he reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper, unfolding it so she could read the same words.
Then the blondes were kissing again, and, since both were drunk, Peyton pushed him back on the bed. Clothes were being shed, and they were moving further than Peyton ever had been before. Lucas had some reservations, being the least drunk of the two, but she didn't let him stop, even when he questioned if she was okay. They were both so happy that the feelings were reciprocated, that they let things go a lot further than they should have, considering they hadn't even been on a date, and Peyton was only fifteen. They did end up going all the way, though, and then falling asleep in the bed of a house neither of them lived in.
The next morning, when they both woke up, with pounding headaches, they realized what they had done at the same time. Neither of them regretted it, but both of them thought that the other would. Peyton began searching for her clothes immediately. Lucas sat up in bed, and noticed Peyton freaking out. "This is not good. This is not good. Nathan is going to kill me. I've never stayed out all night before and I've never done what," she paused, searching for the right words, "we did. I can't believe this," she muttered. She quickly dressed, then began searching for her other shoe, which seemed to have disappeared.
Seeing how upset she was, Lucas began to realize he never should have allowed things to progress that far. He sat up, quickly spotting his boxers and pulling them on beneath the covers. His head was pounding, but he was more worried about Peyton, and he's do whatever was best for her, no matter what it would do to his heart. "Peyton, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that was your first time. I feel horrible. I'll walk you home," he said, grabbing his pants and shirt off the floor and throwing them on, grabbing his shoes so he could put them on too.
Freezing on the floor, Peyton realized that no matter how scared she was right now about Nathan's reaction, she hadn't regretted it. Even if her first time was fuzzy at best, she still was glad it had happened, because it was with Lucas, and he had wanted it to. If he didn't want it, that made the whole thing so much worse. She reached out and grabbed her other shoe, putting it on as she felt her heart breaking in her chest. "I'm sorry, too, Lucas. For what it's worth, though, I'm glad it was you," she said, and he felt his hopes rise as he looked over at her. 'Maybe she didn't regret it,' he thought. "I mean, instead of one of the other guys that it could have been, given how drunk I was," she finished.
They walked home, with neither of them saying anything. As soon as Peyton walked in the door, she was accosted by Nathan, who had been looking out the window, waiting for his little sister, and had noticed her and Lucas walking home together. He could also tell, for some reason that something had happened between them. He walked right past Peyton and ran over to Lucas's house, calling toward his best friend, who was possibly no longer his best friend.
By the guilty look on Lucas's face, he knew his suspicions had been right. Not to mention that when he had called and done some recon this morning when he realized his sister wasn't home, it turned out that Lucas and Peyton had been seen entering a bedroom together and they hadn't come out. As soon as he reached Lucas, he pulled his fist back, and punched him in the jaw. Peyton, who had followed her brother, jumped on his back to stop him from continuing to hit Lucas. She screamed for him to stop, but he focused on the other blonde. "That's it! Our friendship is over! Stay away from my sister, and stay away from me, or you'll get a much worse beating!" he yelled as Peyton pulled him into their house. She wanted to go comfort Lucas, but Dan and Karen were coming outside, and he was already being helped inside.
Besides, she knew if she left, Nathan would freak out even more. "Nathan! Nate! Stop it! Just stop, please. I started it, and it doesn't matter any more. Nothings going to happen. Just chill out!" she yelled at her brother. "It was my decision, and my life. Just stay out of it," she had never yelled at her brother like that before, but she was already hurting because of what Lucas had done. She didn't need her brother to make things worse. She stormed up to her room, and wouldn't talk to either guy for a while.
Using the incident as an excuse to pull away from everyone, Lucas focused on the school shooting and what happened on that day for the time being. He finally realized who was in that hallway, and it took him awhile, but he knew that she had seen what happened. He finally coerced her into telling him, and Lucas was furious to find out, two weeks after the party, that his father had killed his uncle, the man who had been a father to him his whole life. To say Lucas was furious, was a major understatement.
After stealing a gun from Deb, Dan's ex-wife, who was friends with his mother, Lucas went to his house, not surprised in the least to find his father there. He had gone to the cops in Tree Hill, but they hadn't believed him, because Dan was the mayor. So he took the gun to his house, with the intention of threatening Dan away from his mom. Unfortunately, Dan wouldn't leave, and Karen collapsed under the stress of her son pointing a gun at his father, and accusing him of murdering the love of her life.
Due to the fact that Karen, who Peyton viewed as a second mom, went into early labor, and had a possibly fatal condition, Peyton went to the hospital to be there for Lucas in any way that she could, despite everything that had happened. She sat by his side, and waited as they took the baby by C-section, and then saved Karen's life. While Karen was in a coma, she sat by her bedside with him, and held his hand while they wheeled in his baby sister for the first time. His little sister was beautiful, but he thought she would be even more beautiful when his mom woke up.
The time spent in the hospital brought Lucas and Peyton closer together again. Dan, after losing both his son and the woman he loved, turned himself in. Peyton really thought things were looking up when Karen woke up. School was out, and, except for her brother not talking to his best friend, things seemed to pretty good. That is, until Lucas met her in a cemetery, and told her that he and his mom were moving to Charleston
A/N:Well, I shouldn't have wrote this, because it took time away when I could have been working on my other fics, but I really have had this idea floating around my head for a while, and I had to write it down. I will be writing a second part to this, because I had intended it to be a two parter, but only if you guys want it. Tell me what you think. Is it good? Let me know!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything..