Rating- K
Pairing - None unless you squint
Summary - Regina and Gold give Hook a lesson in Villainy 101
Chapter 1/1 One Shot
Emma responded to a call about a strange man in leather being out by the rail road tracks at the edge of town with a heavy sigh. She knew it had to be Hook and she wasn't looking forward to this meeting. She had been busy trying to avoid anyone remotely annoying since her trip with Gold to Manhattan. When she arrived she found not only him but Regina, Gold and Granny.
"What in the hell are you guys doing?" She asked as she pulled her gun swinging it between them; unsure of whom was the real threat. Gold let out an aggravated sigh before he turned to face her.
"Well dearie, we are trying to school the pirate here in how it is properly done." Gold told her as he leaned on his cane, not even flinching at her gun. Emma couldn't help but blink at the older man at his words.
"What do you mean how it's properly done? It shouldn't be done at all!" Emma argued back.
"Well not the way he was doing it when we got here." Regina sassed as she raised an elegant eyebrow at the sheriff.
Regina followed Gold as he dragged her towards the railroad track. She wasn't sure why they were out here and why she was with him but somehow the fifteen times she told him no hadn't worked, so here she was. When he stopped she walked around him to see what he was looking at and saw the pirate trying to tie Granny Lucas to the tracks.
"Hook what on earth are you doing?" Regina asked him. She heard the sigh from Gold and had to count to ten to keep from rolling her eyes at the older man.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Hook sassed back with a scowl as he worked on the current knot. "I am tying a woman to the tracks." He finished the knot and smiled at his work and received a nod from the elderly woman on the ground. Granny just smiled up to Regina not looking the least bit afraid for her life.
"But Why? I mean what gave you this idea?" Regina asked completely flabbergasted as to what would give a pirate this idea. Gold let out another sigh and a mumble that to Regina's ear sounded a lot like peasants. She couldn't stop herself she rolled her eyes and sighed at the man muttered about fifteen curses under her breath.
"I saw it in that magic box thing I watched with young Henry the other day. Honestly you call yourself a villain and you don't know what I'm doing." Hook scoffed at the witch.
"But you are doing it all wrong. I mean why her of all people?" Regina asked as she shook her head at his antics, looking over to Gold for any support.
"What do you mean I'm doing it wrong? I have a lass here, she's tied to the tracks and she whacked me with a very cold food product last week. She earned this." Hook told her with an exasperated sigh. Regina muttered a few more obscenities as she tried to think how to fix this. He was making them all look bad as a villain. First a bookcase and now he was stooping to this.
"If you are going to do this, at least let me show you how to do it properly," Regina told him as she stepped closer. With a wave of her hand the ropes around Granny released and snaked around Hook. Granny had a moment of surprise as she laid there.
"OI, what do you think you are doing?" Hook asked as he tried to move his hook to get out. Suddenly his hook disappeared and he saw it glint from the hand of Rumplestiltskin. Hook let out a low growl towards his crocodile before he found himself flat on his back against the tracks. The ropes tightened and shifted as they latched tightly onto the tracks. As he opened his mouth to speak again a gag appeared and silenced any words he could hope to utter at his new found captors.
"Well dearie, it seems we are giving you a lesson in Villainy 101." Gold told the pirate with a self satisfied smirk on his face. This isn't how he perceived this afternoon to go, all he had hope to do was free the elderly lady as Belle had been rather attached to her and her granddaughter. Having Hook tied down and at his mercy was way better than he could have hoped for.
"Honestly Hook, you are supposed to be a villain and you get bested by a bookshelf and frozen lasagna." Regina mocked him from the sidelines. Unfortunately she heard a car breaking behind her before she could get too much joy out of his current position.
"So your answer was to tie him to the tracks and what? Think it was okay to murder someone?" Emma asked them both as she quickly glanced over Granny seeing she seemed unharmed. She could hear Hook tried and mumble out something behind the gag in his mouth. Emma let out another sigh and looked at both Gold and Regina.
"Look just give me his hook and disappear and I won't arrest anyone. And I won't tell Henry what you've been up to. In case you didn't notice Regina he is rather fond, for some unknown reason, to the pirate and I don't think he'd take too kindly to you killing him for sport." She told them as she stared down Regina. With a sigh and roll of her eyes Regina disappeared in a swirl of purple smoke. Emma turned her eyes to Gold who looked like he was tempted to stab the hook into Hook.
"Gold, Don't make me ask again. Give me his hook and leave now." She ordered the pawn broker and god knows what else he really was as she kept her gun trained on him. With a sigh he turned and handed her the hook and started to walk away.
"Peasants," Gold muttered as he disappeared down the road.
"Granny, are you okay?" Emma asked as turned and smiled at Granny. She lowered and holstered her gun and let out a long sigh.
"Of course, that pirate wasn't going to do anything too harmful. Besides he tried to steal from me last week and one good smack with a pan of frozen lasagna and he was out cold." Granny told the younger gal with a chuckle. "Don't worry, I'll find my way back to the diner. Ruby probably needs some help by now." She gave Emma a pat on the shoulder and tossed a smirk towards Hook before she ventured into town. Emma waited until she was well on her way into town before she walked closer to Hook.
"Quiet the predicament you got yourself in there Hook." Emma told him with a smirk as she crouched down closer. She quickly pocketed the hook in a zipper pocket on her coat as she looked the ropes over. And from the mumbles under the gag she could only assume he was either flirting or trying to tell her off. "Wow I kind of like this. You unable to talk, remind me to use a gag next time I have to arrest you." She pulled out her pocket knife and started to work on the first knot. When she finally got all the knots free she stood back and offered him a hand. When he didn't take it she raised an eyebrow at him. "What, don't want my help off the ground? Fine I'll just go then." She told him as she turned to walk away. Hook quickly yanked the gag out of his mouth and growled.
"Oi, get back here," Hook called over to her. Emma smirked and turned and lowered her hand again. Hook took a hold of it as she helped pull him upright.
"There ya go, now I have to get back to the station I have way too much paper work left over from when you jumped in front of that car." She told him as she turned and tried to walk back to her car only to be pulled up short as he grabbed on to her hood.
"My hook please, love," Hook quietly demanded of her. Emma let out a sigh and handed it back to him. "Thank you, now would you be a dear and lay down on the tracks I need to get this right." He smirked at Emma. Emma smacked him upside the head and walked off muttering something about stupid pirates and never letting Henry near him again. Hook just smirked and gathered his rope a new plan forming in his mind.