This story is not meant for kids. Swearing, lemons, and crossdressing (in future chapters.) No lemons this chapter, either, just an introduction. So enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, and will never own it.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Jamie woke up to the sound of his alarm clock beeping. He groaned, not looking forward to waking up. Wait…Jamie jumped out of bed, grabbed his alarm clock, ran to his sister's room, and smashed it on her head.
"You little fucker!" he heard her scream as Jamie ran back into his room, locked the door, and proceeded to change. Today was his big day; he was finally going to get a pokemon. Finally! Jamie had waited 12 long years for this day, and he wasn't going to screw it up, hence the reason for the clock smash on his sister's head. He felt full of confidence.
Jamie finished changing, unlocked the door, and ran out the door, but not before grabbing a granola bar from the dinner table. His dad was a Pokemon professor, meaning that he often had to go on business trips to far away regions, like Sinnoh. Jamie's mom, on the other hand, was probably getting her morning coffee at the local StarmieBucks. Jamie ran the full 30 meters to the nearby lab, managing to only trip and fall 7 times. This always happened for some Arceus forsaken reason whenever he didn't wear running shoes. Finally reaching the lab, he realized that he was the first one here. Might as well take advantage of it, Jamie thought. He knocked on the door, and after a few seconds, a man popped her head out. "What is it?" "Um, I'm looking for Professor Juniper? Is she here?" "Oh, why yes she is." He turned around and shouted, "Juniper, honey, a boy's looking for you!" "Honey?" Jamie thought? What's going on-Jamie noticed that the man was wearing only a robe, with clearly nothing else underneath. He instantly made the connection. Jamie would look at Professor Juniper in a whole new light now. When she finally came down, also dressed solely in a robe (what a coincidence) she greeted Jamie. "Hey Jamie, what brings you here at this hour?" "Sorry I'm early. I was just hoping that I could get first pick on a starter." Juniper facepalmed extremely hard, breaking her nose with a sickening *crunch. * "Early? It's four in the afternoon! Do you even bother checking your clock when you wake up?" It was a good point. Jamie hadn't. "Oh…" he sighed, dejected. "Can I still get a Pokémon?" "I'm sorry, Jamie, but I've run out. Now, if you would please excuse me…I would like to get back to what we were doing," she said, winking at the man. Jamie, seeming oblivious to her last statement, invited himself into her lab, took a seat at a table, and asked for some orange juice. This got Juniper pissed. Real pissed. No one interrupted her, then ignored her, and got away with it. She grabbed whatever was closest to her, which happened to be a pokeball, and chucked it at Jamie. Jamie's eyes widened when he saw a pokeball flying at him, but he wasn't scared, no, he was elated. He caught the ball in midair with his mouth, headbutted Juniper by accident, grabbed a bag of supplies that happened to have a pokedex, and ran out the door, thanking Professor Juniper along the way. "You FUCKING BASTARD!" he heard the professor yell behind him. He assumed she was talking to the man. Jamie was ready to start on his journey to become a Pokemon master. He still didn't know what pokemon was in the pokeball, though, but he was about to find out.
PSHH...the sound of a pokeball opening hit Jamie's ears. Karp Karp. A magikarp! Jamie was fucked. But once I train him up a bit, I'll be able to have a Gyar-fucking-dos! The next thing Jamie saw would make him want to filet the fish and eat him with some friends. An everstone. Was fucking superglued on the magikarp. FUUUUUUUU. It was the first day of his journey and he was already ready to kill someone. Jamie then decided to have a nice fish n chips when he thought of something. Wait...if I train my Magikarp to level 100, then I might be able to beat everybody and become the pokemon master! Or I could just catch a lillipup and save the magikarp for a banquet. The second one sounded more appealing to Jamie.
Jamie had successfully caught a Lillipup. He was now ready to destroy the world. But first, some training. He had an idea. Jamie would go to the pokemon center, send out both his pokemon, and have them fight. Since his fish only had splash, the Lillipup would always win and he would get experience. Then he would heal and repeat the process.
*3 Hours Later*
Lillipup, now a Herdier, and Magikarp, now a piece of shredded shit, were having another fight. "Herdier, use take down!" "Magikarp, get hit!"
Magikarp fainted! Herdier gained 2 exp... Jamie sighed. This was gonna take awhile. The pokecenter door opened, and a woman walked in. "Hey, you", she said, pointing at Jamie. "I see that you have a Magikarp..and a Herdier. I'll trade my Charmander, my Mudkip, and my Snivy for your Magikarp and Herdier. I really want a Gyrados, and i'm tired of my starters. Do we have a deal?" "Jamie was about to interject and tell her about the everstone, but then decided against it. I mean, who expects an everstone superglued on a Magikarp? "Ok, deal!" The trade was made, and both trainers were happy-that is, until Jamie ran out the door and the newcomer discovered why. "I'M GONNA FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN AND EAT YOU ALIVE YOU FUCKING ASS-HOLE!" she shouted at the already gone Jamie.
Jamie was happy. He officially had 3 starters, one from Kanto, one from Hoenn, and one from Unova. He was now starting his true journey to become a pokemon master.