Senseless – One Shot
Kurai-Hisaki
Summary: You were my world, my every little thing. And all the 'I wishes' - don't change a thing. Sakura's POV.
This idea's been around in my head for a couple of months now. My internet recently died on me, so I used the extra time to actually put this down in word. This was inspired by rainy, cloudy days – as well as listening to sad songs, reading emotional poems and looking at angst art.
Maybe you can relate.
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
- Sakura's POV -
Everything changed in an instant. This place was so familiar yet so distant in my memory.
I felt the harsh, cold rain hit me as I heard the wind's gentle whisper. The two elements caressed my skin as I wandered aimlessly around town. The village was gray and dark today. No one was out playing in the puddles and the shops had closed early due to the extreme bad weather. How was it that this scene looked so familiar?
I remembered it like it was yesterday. The flower shop was on her left while Naruto's favourite shop was a little further down the road. The sun was shining and my smile was ever present on my face. It was like I wasn't able to frown. You hugged me in your arms and twirled me in your arms as you proudly stood in the middle of the path laughing. Our smiles beamed at each other. We weren't afraid of what people said about us. I had grown up, grown strong and you had put aside our levels and differences. You had accepted me. People had accepted us. I had been happier than I'd ever been in my life, during that moment.
I used to be so scared about what people thought about me; while you didn't have a care in the world. You taught me the true meaning of happiness and gave me the most important feeling that no one else could have - love. You picked up my favourite flower from the store and tucked it behind my ear. You had said that the colour of the flower matched my soft pink hair. You loved that colour and I grew to love it too. I looked up at the dark grey clouds.
Where's the colour now?
This was one of the places where we had hung out. After training I would sit up on the tree with you. You read your book while I simply slept or rested. In the end, we had bonded here. It was a rainy day like this one when I finally saw you without your mask. That was when you first kissed me. I could remember the soft heat on my lips.
The training grounds were muddy and wet. The grass was matted down on the ground like a brown mess. The tree that you sat up on while training us had been destroyed. Someone had decided to take down your favourite tree. I sunk down in the middle of the mud staring at the flat grounds. The moments that I sat and stared, I realized only one thing ran through my mind.
I hated whoever it was, that took down that tree. I've never felt such hatred towards someone before.
Eventually I got up and dragged myself further down the path. I remember eating here together with the rest of Team Seven. Back then, I only had eyes for Sasuke. How foolish that was, why hadn't I realized that there was more than just him? When he left, you were here for me. I wasn't sure why you decided to help me, but you did. How was it that you knew that you had to be there for me? How did you know that I needed you?
You motivated me to be stronger. I had picked up the broken pieces of my teenage heart and I healed. I became the strongest kunoichi and the best medic in Konoha, and no one had been able to top me. This only haunted me more.
My clothes were soaked through and my body was finally numb when I finally decided to head to the place we used to call home. My vision was clouded with the little make up that the rain had smeared. I had always used a little just to make you notice me. I felt that I needed something to make me prettier. You told me that I was a natural beauty and that I didn't need make up. I wished that I had listened to you.
The pictures around our apartment seemed like it was taken so long ago. Why hadn't we taken some more recent ones? I walked across the room ignoring the squeaks that the floor had been making. I glanced down at the photo that was closest to me. Water dripped on the floorboards and a small puddle started to form. I gently touched the edge of the photo with my numb fingers. Water droplets slipped off my hair and fell on the surface of the photo.
I was scared of breaking it… or maybe I was scared that it would break me.
Eventually I gathered up the courage to pick up the photo and to look it. Your soft smile and your gentle eye crinkle beamed back at me. All I could do was cry. I couldn't stop.
The photo slipped between my frozen fingers and landed by my feet.
Slowly, I made my way to the room where I thought was a place that I could wake up to every morning, with you. Now, I hardly got more than an hour or two of sleep each night. I didn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I would be haunted with thoughts that screamed at me.
I hadn't been there for you.
The spot that you used to sleep in was cold. I had always thought that I would be able to wake up every morning and stare into your mismatched eyes. I loved seeing your smile in the morning and it made my day. No matter how bad the day would go, I knew that you were always going to be there with opened arms to welcome me home, to comfort me, to whisper soothing words to me to calm me down. If you knew that I was having a bad day, you'd cook my favourite dinner. We would have fun cooking together, and we always had a laugh out of it when the food came out all burnt and horrible. By the end of the night, I always had a smile on my face and the last thing I would see was you – smiling back at me.
Now, the kitchen cupboards and fridge were all empty. I haven't had a decent meal in days, and I wished that I had praised you more for your efforts. I wished that I had taken more time to cherish each piece and each meal that you fed to me. I wished that I had picked out the flavours of each dish that you made me. I loved eating anything that you made, and now I don't have a memory of how your dishes tasted like. I shouldn't have eaten so fast. I don't remember how we used to have so much fun cooking. I can't imagine setting foot in that kitchen now without you. Suddenly, the apartment felt so much emptier. It was so silent.
The giggles and laughter were gone. Your voice escapes me.
I made my way around the apartment and I sat on the bed, smoothing out the fabric. The wrinkles were still there… it signalled that you had once slept here; however it didn't comfort me. I had slept on this bed the past couple of nights and recently I found that your smell was gone. I use to be able to sleep a little easier just by having your smell nearby, but I can't find your smell anymore.
I don't remember what your smell was like…
A sharp pain stabbed at my chest and a fresh round of tears made its way to my face. I need you.
Why aren't you here with me?
Silence fell on my ears, and I only blamed myself.
I remember you telling me that you had a mission to go to. This was normal as we usually did split, did our separate activities and our bonding times were always in the evening. That morning, an emergency had happened in the hospital and I was called immediately to help out. I looked over to your slumbering face and you were still in a deep sleep. I had pushed your messy silver locks aside and had given you a light kiss on your forehead. You had mumbled something silly and continued to sleep.
I sadly smiled to myself in remembering your light snores in the middle of the night. It used to annoy me when it woke me up, now I miss it.
I knew that you had a mission to go on that day so I wanted you to get all the rest that you could have gotten. I had let you sleep. I hadn't been able to say my usual, "Be careful, and I love you." Instead that morning, I had left a note on the kitchen counter telling you the same thing. I should have known you better.
I should have known that you would skip breakfast and that you would hop out the window without once entering the kitchen.
The note still sat on the counter, untouched.
How was it that everything could be the same for everyone else, but so different to me? The sun rose every morning and set every night. To the citizens of Konoha, it was just another day. To me, it was another second without you.
It was scary how everything reminded me of you. It was frightening how, no matter which direction I looked, I would have little memories of us being there. It was terrifying how each smell, taste and touch brought me back to you. Every little thing reminded me of you. My world felt like it had been flipped. Nothing was the same without you. You were my world – my every thing.
And all the 'I wishes' - don't change a thing.
Thus the end of another sad story.
Don't misunderstand me! I LOVE Kakashi, it just that, this story's been buzzing around my head so I just had to put it down. Maybe that's why I'm so sad when I was writing this.
Now that I'm editing this, I found that this story didn't make too much sense. It was pretty much all over the place and didn't have much of a plot. My thoughts weren't really together for this one. I apologize. I'm not really sure where I was going with this one, but nevertheless I hope you all enjoyed it.