A/N: Hey guys! I'm back with yet another one shot, this time for a good friend of mine, PixieDust529. I've got to admit, this took me absolutely forever, it was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to write... and I still don't think it came out as good as I wanted it too.
But... I didn't want to keep it waiting any longer, so here it is. The song is Since You've Been Gone by Theory Of A Deadman. I hope everyone enjoys, and please don't kill me when you get to the end.
Since You've Been Gone
It seems that nothing ever goes my way,
Since you broke my heart when you left that day.
I sat in my empty home, looking around the bare cream walls and the dull furniture, a sigh of sadness leaving my lips. It had been too long since that day... since the day that I completely fucked up my life.
You see, until that day, everything was perfect for me. I had the greatest job in the world, I was the top guy in the business, I had enough money to keep me comfortable for the rest of my life, and I also had the most perfect girlfriend anyone could ask for.
I could still remember the day I first laid eyes on her as if it were yesterday...
"Alright Cena?" A familiar, deep voice spoke up, and I looked up from my car magazine, my eyebrow raised at the man I saw walking towards me.
"Yeah, Orton, except for the fact that you were supposed to be here half an hour ago to discuss our match," I shook my head with a sigh. It was just typical of Randy.
"Sorry man," He grinned, sliding onto the seat across from me in the arena's canteen, "I got distracted."
"Hmm, let me guess... a woman?"
"You know me too well," Randy chuckled, before he leant forward slightly, "Seriously though man, have you seen her?"
"Umm, no?" I shrugged, having no idea who he was talking about, and truthfully, not really caring.
"New girl? Steph's new assistant?" Randy looked at me as if I were crazy for not knowing her when I shrugged. I wasn't like him though. I didn't run around looking for the new meat to see if they were hot or not. Of course, I loved my women as much as he did sometimes, but the majority of my time was spent on my work now, not my love life, "You're joking right?"
"No Randy, I'm not joking," I glared back, my patience growing thin. If it weren't bad enough that we didn't have anything planned for our match yet, then the fact that he was sat here talking to me about girls rather than our job really was, "And I'd appreciate it if we didn't talk about this anymore. Do you realise how much work we've gotta do? How much Vince is relying on us to make this the best damn match the two of us have ever had? So can we..."
My words stopped short, and my jaw snapped shut as my eyes glanced away from Randy towards the small group that had entered the room. All of the three brunettes in the group I knew by name and face, but the blonde... I'd never seen her before. I knew that, because there was no way I'd forget someone like her.
She was around five foot six, with medium length blonde hair that shone perfectly in the florescent light. Even from across the room, I could see the bright green of her eyes. She wasn't like the usual girl I'd go for... but she was by far the most amazing one I had ever laid eyes on.
"Yeah," Randy chuckled, his eyes following my own gaze as I struggled to pull my eyes away from her, "That's Noel, you know... the new girl you didn't want to know about."
When I finally built up the courage to speak to her, I found out that Noel wasn't just a pretty face. She was clever, witty, kind... she was everything I had ever wanted in a girl... and somehow, I managed to get her, too.
She and I grew close in more ways than one, and eventually started dating around six months into our friendship. For the next year and a half, she and I turned into the perfect couple... until I started taking things for granted.
Things started to get tough at work... it wasn't as easy for me anymore to be on the top spot. There was more and more competition from the younger guys, and I began to grow frustrated with it all. Although my problems were never with her, I always seemed to take those frustrations out on Noel.
I basically turned into the biggest asshole when it came to her and I, and I just expected her to go along with it. I didn't realise until one night after a show when I returned to our hotel room that I'd gone too far, and that I had finally ruined everything.
I trudged through the hallways, my mind running over the mid-card match I'd just had, and wondering whether I'd ever be able to get back to the top spot again. Earlier on, before my match, Noel and I had had another argument about it. She told me for perhaps the thousandth time that I just had to accept it, work hard, and wait for my turn again... and yet again I blew up in her face about it.
I shook my head, knowing that I was probably in for the silent treatment when I got back into our hotel room. She hadn't been in the locker room after my match, so I had guessed she'd returned to the hotel, as she had so many other times when we'd argued lately.
I pulled the strap of my gym bag further onto my shoulder as I took the last few steps before reaching the room I was looking for. With the smallest of sighs, I used the card to let myself in... only to stop dead at the sight before me.
"Noel?" I barely whispered, my mind trying to work out the suitcases that were being filled by my girlfriend in front of me.
"John," She shook her head at me, tears streaming down her face as she continued to empty the drawers of her clothes, throwing them into her cases as quickly as she could.
"Baby, what..." I swallowed the lump in my throat as I dropped my gym bag on the floor and walked a little closer to her. I already knew what was going on... I just couldn't accept it, "What's going on? What are you doing?" I shook my head.
"I can't do this John," She spoke through her tears, throwing the last of her things in her bag before she zipped it up, "I can't handle it anymore."
"Handle what?" I shook my head, refusing to believe what was going on as I closed the gap between us and turned her harshly so that she was staring into my eyes, her beautiful green ones swimming with tears, "I know things have been rough... I know that we've not been great lately, but we can get through this. Our relationship is more than a few arguments, baby."
"That's what I thought, to begin with," She nodded, pulling away from me slightly, "A few months ago, I told myself that we were just going through a rough patch, and that everything would be okay... but who was I kidding? You're not the same guy you used to be, John. I've tried so hard to help you with this, but you're just bringing me down with you... and as much as I love you, I can't do it anymore. I need to save myself before it's too late."
Shaking her head, Noel backed away from me completely, before she walked over to her case and picked it up, along with her coat and mobile phone. Sending one last look my way, she began to drag her belongings past me... but I couldn't let her go. Not like that.
"Noel, baby, please," I pleaded, spinning around and trying to follow her, "Don't leave. I promise I'll change. I'll go back to the guy I used to be... please, just stay with me. I love you."
She stopped dead in her tracks, but she didn't turn around as she began to speak again.
"I love you too, John. Part of me always will... but what you're saying, it's a lie. You're never going to be who you were when we first met, and I'm sorry, but I can't be with the guy you are now." I knew there was no point in saying anything else as she picked up her feet and walked over to the door, "Goodbye John," She barely even whispered, before she disappeared through it, taking my heart with her.
There's nowhere to go so just stay with me,
Cause since you've been gone, I've been begging you please.
I wiped at my eyes as a few stray tears fell from them at the memory of the day when she left me. It was a few months now since that day, yet I was still a broken down mess. No matter what I did, I couldn't get Noel out of my head.
I was such a god damn idiot to treat her that way. I hadn't realised what a good thing I had before... I hadn't realised what I'd lost until it was gone.
Time and time again in the past few months, I had tried to win Noel back. I had gone as far as getting down on my knees and begging her for my forgiveness... but she didn't want anything to do with it, or me. I didn't blame her for not wanting the asshole I'd turned into as a part of her life, but it still ripped my heart into even more pieces every single time she turned me back down.
And even worse, was the fact that she was barely at the arena so that I could do that anymore. The more and more I bugged her, the more she begged Steph to let her work from the headquarters, rather than travelling with us. Unless there was something she was really needed for at the arena, she got her wish... meaning now, I barely even got to see her.
To tell me you're not alright,
And you needed to come home,
Since you've been gone.
To tell me you're not okay,
And you needed me all along,
Since you've been gone.
I knew I probably looked and sounded like a crazy and desperate person... and the truth is, I wasn't far off. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't get her out of my mind. All I wanted was for her to come home, to call me and tell me that she missed me and that she still felt the same as she always had about me. All I wanted to hear was that she missed me as much as I did her... but that wasn't going to happen. Not now.
I need to hear from you,
Since you've been gone.
I knew I'd take anything if I could just get her to talk to me again. If I could somehow spend ten minutes with her to explain that I was no longer the asshole, I hadn't been since the moment she walked out on me. Even if I had to accept her as only a friend afterwards, it'd be better than nothing.
It seems that every time you swear to God that you're leaving,
I'm down on my knees, begging you to stay.
But would she really do that? The times that I had managed to get around her as of late, she had refused to speak to me or gone absolutely ballistic, telling me that she had put up with my bullshit for far too long. Once she had finally broke, there was no going back...
But no matter how many times she said that to me, I still couldn't give up.
There's nowhere to go, so just stay with me,
Cause since you've been gone, I've been begging you please.
I stood up from my sofa and ran from the room, taking the steps two at a time before I made it to my bedroom, not stopping for breath as I shoved everything out the way to search for my mobile.
I knew that this was probably stupid and that there was a huge chance that I was just going to get everything shoved back in my face again, but I had to try something. If I caught her at her work place, then maybe she'd have to listen to me. Either way, it was better than sitting around moping about it.
When I finally found what I was looking for, I searched through my contacts and clicked a familiar number, only having to wait a few rings before it was answered.
To tell me you're not alright,
And you needed to come home,
Since you've been gone.
To tell me you're not okay,
And you needed me all along,
Since you've been gone.
"Orton?" I didn't even bother greeting Randy once I heard his voice. There wasn't time for niceties right now.
"Cena?" I could practically see the frown on his face over the phone, "What do you want, man? I thought it was your week off?"
"It is... look, I need your help. Do you know if Noel is at the arena today?"
"John..." He sighed, and I gritted my teeth, growing impatient with him already, "I thought we talked about this, man. You need to start letting her go. Remember the reason you asked for this week off in the first place? To try and forget about her..."
"Randy, you gonna help me or not?" I interrupted, my voice sharp.
I heard another sigh escape his lips, before silence took over. I waited for what seemed like forever, but must have only been seconds, before he answered again.
"No man, she ain't here today. She's at the headquarters."
"Okay," I nodded, the smallest of smiles growing across my lips, "Thanks, man," I nodded, before hanging up and wasting no time in dialling up the airport to book a flight.
Before I knew it, the three hour flight to Stamford was over with, and I was already in the taxi heading towards Noel. I hadn't even bothered to pack any of my things. As soon as I found out there was a flight leaving in two hours time, I was out the door with nothing but the clothes on my back, my wallet and my mobile. I just hoped we sorted something out soon, because I wasn't going anywhere if she refused... and I would really start to stink a week into following her around like a lost puppy.
For the entire plane and taxi ride, I ran over everything that Noel and I had ever shared, telling myself that what I was about to do was worth it. We had shared too much, we had been far too perfect before to throw it all away... and no matter how nervous I was, I had to do this.
Please don't leave me here alone,
Just stay away,
Make me smile.
The taxi pulled up in front of the headquarters around ten minutes later, and without waiting for change, I threw a bunch of notes at the driver and jumped out the car. I felt like my heart was in my mouth as I ran through the front door and over to the main desk.
"Mr Cena?" The young brunette asked, instantly recognising me, "What are you doing here? Is there something I can help you with?"
"Yeah, look, sorry to put you in this position," I cringed, raising my hand to rub the back of my neck. It was pretty much world known about what happened between Noel and I, and although I didn't want to bring anyone else into it, I had no choice, "Would you be able to tell me what floor Noel is on, please?"
The young woman seemed to look at me for forever, and I could feel myself growing even jitterier by the second. I poured my soul out through my stare as I looked back at her, praying that she'd help me out with this. The beauty about being a supposedly good looking guy was during moments like this...
"Of course," She eventually replied, sending me a small smile, "She's on floor seven, if you turn left when you leave the lift, keep walking into the main office block, you won't miss her."
"Thank you," I grinned widely, before I left the desk and jogged over to the lift, ignoring everyone staring at me as I climbed inside and hit the button I needed. I was starting to grow worried now as the doors closed. What would I do if she turned me down again? I wondered if I'd do as I said before; follow her around... but probably not. I'd most like turn into an empty shell. I wondered if I'd ever smile again like I had only done moments before at the receptionist.
Please don't leave me here alone,
Just stay a while,
And, baby, smile.
When the lift opened on the seventh floor, I walked out and down the corridor, meeting a crowd of people bustling around doing their jobs only a few minutes later. I cringed as I swerved around them, my eyes frantically searching the room for the one person I was looking for...
And when I finally did see her, everything else stopped. I walked past dozens of people as I approached her desk, but I didn't notice one of them. All I could see was her, and all I could think about was getting her back...
"Noel..."
The minute she heard my voice, her head shot up from the paperwork she was working on, and her beautiful green eyes grew as wide as saucers. She was like a deer in headlights, and as much as I wanted to snap her out of it so I could tell her how I felt, I let her find her own way...
But when her expression began to harden and she started shaking her head back and forth, I wished I had done something before.
"You shouldn't be here John," She barely even whispered.
"Please, don't do this," I pleaded, inching even closer so that I was pressed against her desk.
"No," She answered sternly, and for some reason, my own anger began to bubble, "You need to leave."
"Damn it, Noel!" I growled, slamming my hands down on the desk, which made the majority of the other people in the office turn around and look at us, "I'm not going anywhere, not until you hear me out."
Since you've been gone,
I need to hear from you,
Since you've been gone,
I need to hear you say.
I didn't give her time to reply, and by the shocked look on her face, I didn't think she was going to, anyway.
"Look," I sighed, my voice much lower now, "I know that you probably hate me... and I know you've told me too many times already to just drop this, but I can't," I shook my head, my eyes pleading with hers, "I love you more than anything, baby. I was the biggest asshole ever; I can't believe I'd do something like that to you, to our relationship. We were doing so well, but I just had to go and ruin it..."
"John..." She whimpered, but I shook my head, cutting her off. I needed to finish what I was saying before she spoke; otherwise I was never going to get it out.
"I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want me back, but just so you know, if you forgive me... I'll never be that John again."
Tell me you're not alright,
And you needed to come home,
Since you've been gone.
Tell me you're not okay,
And you needed me all along,
Since you've been gone.
"I just..." I began again after a few moments of silence, "I just want you to know that you mean the world to me... and that despite everything I did to push you away, I need you in my life. We had something amazing once, Noel... and if somehow you're willing to give me that second chance, then I promise you we can have it again," I smiled ever so lightly, reaching over the desk so that my hand lay over hers, "Please, just tell me that's what you want... that you want to come home with me... that you still love me."
I need to hear you say,
Since you've been gone,
Don't tell me,
Don't tell me.
I waited, and waited, and waited... yet nothing happened. I had appreciated her silence before, but now as she sat there, still wide eyed, staring at me, I was growing anxious. This was not the reaction I had wanted.
"Noel? Please say something..."
My voice seemed to cut through her day dream. Her eyes fluttered down to my hand that was still covering hers, before she looked up into my eyes, a look of determination now on her face as her mouth opened.
I need to hear you say...
"John, I..."