A/N: I know, I know. I have other shit that I should update but...I wrote this for another Countdown, hosted by breathotwilight. If you haven't checked them out, I suggest you do so. There're some epic writers there, both comedic and dramatic; something for everyone.
But anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this and as always, leave some evidence you were here in the form of a review :)
EPOV
I hated Valentine's day, if for no other reason than the fact that literally everything about it is disposable. From the flowers (that die) to the chocolate (that you eat) to the cards (that disintegrate), it all just...fades away. And if you really love someone, they know it already. Why should you be forced to profess your love on February 14th? Why?
Why?
Doesn't make so much sense now, does it.
Yeah, I know I know, I'm being cynical; love is a beautiful thing blah-fucking-blah, but come the fuck on. It's lame. And not to sound like one of those talking heads, but it is a commercialist propaganda tool built to make you spend money you probably don't have.
Sorry, I'm ranting, I know.
I wasn't always this way. I was a typical, average red blooded American male who was...oblivious to Valentine's day. That all changed though when I hit puberty and yanno, had to start giving a shit about it because girls like it. It makes you romantic. It's a day you're supposed to get laid and do a naked dance or whatever. I've never gotten laid on Valentine's Day. Not once.
Not even in the decade that I'd had girlfriends, have we ever had sex of any kind on Valentine's day. Not for lack of trying, mind you but more because we never really...got around to it? Emmett, my brother and sometime confident, has told me flat out that he's had the best sex of his life on that day, because Rosalie (his lady love) is always extra amorous.
How you define extra, though, is up to interpretation. They get it in five times instead of the typical three that night?
I fought the eye roll as all of this ran through my head on that one such dismal day. It wasn't just dismal because of my mood, but also because it was literally gray as the hull of a battleship, as was typical of Seattle. Emmett, however, had taken it upon himself to supply all of the necessary radiance for the day, whether you wanted to witness it or not.
"I'm telling you, baby brother, you gotta just man up and get a chick," he sighed, running a massive had over his face. Massive because at 6'5, he was massive and from the way he spoke, you'd think I'd never been with a woman, or had a girlfriend. And I had, thank you very much, as previously noted. It's just that to Emmett unless you were with the girl, she (whomever she was) didn't count. I could honestly and truly say that I never thought I was meant to be with any of the girls I'd dated before.
I shook my head, tapping a finger against the glass of the window. "Why? To make me shell out money on this, the most un-happy of days?"
He laughed, as we came to a stop light and shook his head. "No, so that you like...have light in your soul or some shit. Rosie's always going on about you being barren emotionally."
I groaned, rolling my eyes. Rose wasn't part of that...new age movement thing, where your energy could be rebalanced by smoke or colored light or whatever, but she was a psychologist, so as a result she was frequently trying to diagnose me. So far, I'd been emotionally detached, a commitment-phobe, too trusting and a hopeless romantic.
Take a second and try and figure out for me how I could possibly be both a commitment-phobe and a hopeless romantic?
Exactly. It's impossible. And besides that it wasn't true. I just felt like if you were supposed to fall in love with someone and be with someone then you would be. There wouldn't be any pretenses or whatever, you guys would just be together, and everything would be as it should be. I'm not talking about like bunnies and animated musicals or anything, but at least you should feel like..that other person, the one you're telling that you love; life would be unbearable without them. It would physically be painful to be without them.
Okay, maybe she was right about the hopeless romantic part.
"I'm not emotionally barren," I finally replied, rolling my eyes a little at the gray buildings, lined up on the city blocks uniformly. The only thing that didn't change to pink, white or red for Valentine's day. "I'm pragmatic and rational."
"Well, I think you need less of that and more fun," Em replied decisively, thumping his hand against the steering wheel, as if that one action coupled with those words would completely change my mind. "It can't be good for you to frown all the time, and be crotchety. It's not normal."
I shrugged. Maybe not but it was my normal.
Call me crazy, but I didn't like the idea of being vulnerable to someone who could crush you if they weren't just as committed. And that was a huge risk. At any point, they could just sit you down (or stand you up) and say, "okay, that was fun but...you repulse me on a cellular level". Why would you want to set yourself up for that? No rational person would, that's for sure.
But, at the same time, refer to my argument above.
And either way, Emmett was still going to prattle on about whatever it was that he wanted to prattle on about, in this case, my lack of a love life which in his eyes made me frown all the time.
"I smile when there's occasion to smile. That's how it goes. People can always tell when you give them a fake smile."
"No they can't."
I rolled my eyes, and shook my head as he turned into the parking lot. "They can. It's like the number one thing that women hate."
"Whatever dude," he sighed, cutting the engine once he pulled into a space in front of a CVS. "You wanna wait here?"
I nodded, not really wanting to follow him around while he debated brands and asked me about pros and cons of products that I'd never used. "Yeah, I'll be fine."
"I need the keys," he informed me, jingling them. "It's got the saver card thingy on it."
"No worries, I'll be okay," I replied, nodding again. It wasn't like it was that cold out, even for February. I'd be okay for the what, ten minutes he was in the store. "Go."
"Alright."
And with that, he loafed into the store while I sat back. I closed my eyes and just...tried to forget everything that my brother had thought was helping. I wanted to just be by myself at this point. I mean, it was my own choice; these were all my own choices and my decisions in my life. What the hell was the point in living your life for other people, and what they expected of you. Exactly, there was no point. It was just silly.
I must have dozed off a little because before I knew it the car door was slamming. I was comfortable, so I just adjusted a little, leaning my head on my hand. "You get everything you needed?"
I heard some random mumbling, but grunted at the incoherent response. "Em?"
"SHhhh," A voice, one that was decidedly feminine but also kind of shaky replied to me. "Fuck fuck fuck."
Okay, what?
My eyes snapped open, and I looked over, seeing a small woman, maybe 24, in the drivers seat, desperately trying to pry the front panel off of the car, underneath the steering wheel.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I exclaimed, shrinking back to the corner of my seat.
"Um...carjacking you?" She offered, as though it were more of a question to my question instead of an answer. Call me crazy, but I suddenly didn't feel as nervous as I did a second ago. "At least, I'm trying to."
Holy shit.
I groaned, shaking my head. "What?"
She huffed in annoyance, and sighed. 'FUCK!" She wailed, slamming her hands on the steering wheel. "I can't fucking do anything!"
And then...she cried.
This could not get any more bizarre.
So, my typical guy must-make-helpless-female-stop-crying reflex kicked in and I shook my head, reaching over to pat her shoulder. "Just press the button," I whispered, wondering why I was giving her tips on how to jack the car. "He keeps a spare set in the glove compartment."
She turned red rimmed, but still brilliant brown eyes on me. They were wide with shock, a bit of disbelief and some trepidation. I wondered if she always looked like that, or if it was only because of the situation. Then again, I was allowing her to jack my brother's car.
She reached up hesitantly, and pressing the ignition button as I watched her. I could not believe i was allowing this to happen.
"Are you kidnapping me, too," I asked as she began to pull out of the space. She was quite cautious, considering she was breaking several laws and she was still sniffling from her tears. She was so...innocent looking. Kinna...cute, in fact.
Ugh, this was probably how Stockholm Syndrome started.
"I didn't mean to," She replied, taking a left and starting toward Michigan Avenue. "So I'll drop you off at home."
I blinked again, uncomfortable butterflies rising in my stomach. "What?"
She looked over at me, laughing a little. "Oh, c'mon Edward. Everyone knows who you are; one half of the Cullen brothers."
Well, shit. I didn't think I was that recognizable. I played first base for the Cubs, and in my fourth year, I was somewhat well known across Chicago. Granted, it wasn't as popular as Derek Jeter or something, but I was still...known. Emmett, on the other hand was much more popular. He was the star of the Bears defense, having more sacks in each season than anyone else in the league. He was the one who deserved it. I just hit balls. However, I've never been car jacked and then told that my car jacker knows me when I've basically helped her do that.
"Yeah, but how do you know where I live?"
She shrugged, running a hand through her dark brown hair. "My...friend targeted you and your brother."
"You have an accomplice?"
She nodded. "He's my boyfriend," She paused a minute, as if debating her words and then huffed. "Why am I telling you this? I shouldn't be nervous. Jake said that I wouldn't be nervous."
I shook my head, confused. "What? Your accomplice is your boyfriend?"
The car jacker grunted, shaking her head as she came to a stop light. "Yeah. When he feels like it."
I raised an eyebrow, watching her carefully. "What does that mean?"
"How long do you have?"
"A while, since you've just kidnapped me," I informed her, smirking a little. Alright, I admit it. I wasn't taking this seriously at all. I could have over powered her completely if I wanted to; pushed her right out into the road and driven back to pick up my brother while calling the police to arrest her and probably send an ambulance.
Her face fell and she shook her head. "I wasn't supposed to kidnap you, but I thought you were sleeping, and usually when Emmett goes to that CVS, he's alone. You weren't part of the plan, so I'm sorry."
"It's okay," I shrugged, not knowing what else to say, other than that I didn't really understand why there was a plan in the first place. "Where are you taking me?"
"I don't know; I have to figure out what to do with you until I have to meet Jake."
"You should stop saying his name; it'll be too easy to ID him when I call the cops."
Her full, pink bottom lip was sucked in between her teeth at that point and she turned off into one of the parking lots that served the beaches in the summer time. In the winter they were nearly abandoned. Perfect place to dump a body, I noticed.
"You'd do that," She whispered, pulling into a space that over looked Lake Michigan. She killed the engine and turned toward me, leaning her head against the back of the seat. "I knew this was a bad idea. I'm not...equipped for this."
I blinked, confused, as I always seemed to be around this girl. "For what exactly?"
Her eyes slipped down from mine, and she began playing with the hem of her light pink sweater. "This whole...breaking the law thing."
I laughed a little, and unbuckled my own seat belt to turn toward her. "Well, honestly, I think that works in your favor. It means you aren't a heartless asshole."
I saw one corner of her lips turn up and she shook her head. "I"m Bella, by the way," she informed me. When I started to shake my head in protest, she reached out and touched my hand, silencing me. "It's okay if you know. I'm doing something wrong and I recognize that."
"You're the shittiest law breaker ever, then," I replied, raising an eyebrow. "Admitting guilt and all."
Bella laughed, nodding. "My dad would kill me. He's a cop at home."
I raised an eyebrow. Figured, actually. "Rebel."
She shrugged, dropping her eyes again as a blush crept up into her cheeks. "Yeah, something like that."
"Any reason in particular?"
"Jake...well, we've known each other for a really long time," Bella sighed, shaking her head a little; as much as the back of the seat would allow. "And he's always been a little rebellious. You know, the 'fuck the man' kind of guy," She supplied, leaning forward a bit toward me. "And lately it's been getting a bit out of hand. He wanted to steal this car because he felt like your brother had no regard for the common man; he's too materialistic, Jake thinks."
I smirked a bit, realizing how right she was. Well, kind of. Em was materialistic; he liked new things, and fancy things but at the same time I guaranteed that if Bella had asked Em for his car, he would have given it to her without hesitation. The things he had didn't define him, but Bella's boyfriend clearly did. "Well, if you don't mind me saying this Jake character couldn't be more wrong."
Bella's eyes went wide and she broke out into a smile. "That's what I told him! I said that there was no way someone with such cute dimples could be that heartless."
"So, if you think that Em's not so bad, how come you're here, stealing his car and Jake's...wherever the fuck?" It seemed wrong that this Jake guy would send his poor, innocent (hey, whether or not it was true wasn't the point. She just oozed innocence to me) girlfriend to do his dirty work. How could he let her pick a fight for him?
"He's on probation."
Duh. Of course he was.
I shook my head, wanting to punch a man I didn't even know and then ran a hand through my hair. "You're very forth coming with all this, I noticed."
"Around you, I...feel comfortable," She replied and I felt her hand on my arm again. "I know I shouldn't and I should be more intimidating but...I don't know, I kind of like you."
Well, that was unexpected. I felt my stomach rumble a little and I turned to look at her. "You like me?"
Bella shrugged. "I feel like I can tell you anything for whatever reason. You're not judging me."
"That's true, I'm judging your boyfriend. He definitely doesn't deserve you."
At that, Bella got defensive and shook her head. "He does, he just needs time to get his head together."
"Bella, how long have you been with him?"
She hesitated and then: "Twelve years."
"Over a decade," I balked, openly staring at her. "Are you serious?"
"yeah," She smiled. "Don't you believe in true love?"
I thought for a second, wondering how honest I should be with her. "I don't know, maybe I guess."
"Well, I used to think that that was what Jake and I had," She told me, and I was surprised. Way to preface that, dear. "I mean, I know I love him and he loves me, but...I love him like you love a warm blanket. You need it when it's cold, and you like having it around, but you can live without it. It's replaceable."
"Then why stay?"
"I've been asking myself that a lot lately."
"And the verdict?"
"I don't know anymore." Bella replied, sounding sullen and resigned.
I leaned forward a little and cupped her cheek, wondering where this unafraid of strangers thing was coming from. Usually I hated contact with anyone I wasn't related to. "Hey, listen, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just curious."
Her eyes flashed up to mine and she let out a watery laugh. "Are you really apologizing to the person who kidnapped you in a half assed way?"
I grinned, shrugging. "I don't know, it seemed like the right thing to do."
She rolled her eyes and nodded. "It's okay. It's just what's been going on in my head, and then you said it so...it all came to head, you know?"
"Yeah, I get that," I replied, noticing how clear and luminescent her skin was. Flawless.
"What about you," Bella asked, sniffling a little as my hand moved from her face and back to her hand. "Of the many things I've read about you, I've never heard anything about a girlfriend."
I shrugged, looking down at her hand in mine and felt for the first time since Bella hopped into the car, uncomfortable. "I don't know, I just haven't met anyone I really wanted to be with."
"are you gay?"
I raised an eyebrow. "No, definitely not."
"then..." She cooed, adjusting a little in her seat. "Why no lady friend?"
"well, I think that I believe in love a little too much sometimes," I told her, voicing my concerns out loud for the first time. "I kind of feel like I'll be setting myself up for failure."
"It's only a failure if you never try," Bella whispered, and I felt her fingers on my jaw. My eyes drifted up to hers, and I found that we were only a breath away from each other. "Love is a chance; It's what we as people, crave from each other. Closeness and belonging."
I nodded, feeling her words hit home and I smiled. "I guess it's good that you car jacked me today then."
Bella smiled and nodded, pulling back and pressing the start button on the car again. "Yeah, for both of us."
To my surprise, Bella drove us right back to the CVS where she picked me up and pulled into the same vacated space. "I hope you won't think to ill of me, Edward," She sighed, pushing the seat back to where my brother had had it. "Because despite the circumstances, you've been one of the nicest people I've ever met."
Even though I wanted to hate her and yell at her for what she'd done, and even though there was nothing more than her word to go on that she'd leave me and my family alone, I couldn't help but want to...aid her, in anyway I could. I just couldn't believe that this...this exact moment would be the last time that I saw her.
So, I told her the truth. "even though I should, I don't. I really don't think I could."
She smiled sadly and nodded, going for the door handle. "Thank you."
She started to get out and I panicked, reaching out for her hand. "Hey, you said you know where I live, right?"
Bella looked from me to my hand, and nodded slowly. "Yeah?"
"If you need...a friend or somewhere to live or whatever, come find me, okay," I asked, watching her face soften with recognition. "you're right, everyone needs someone every once in a while."
There was a long pause as we both stared at each other, and then she nodded. "Thank you, Edward. Thank you."
She gave my hand another squeeze and then exited the car, almost as quickly as she entered it before. I could still feel the heat from her skin, the smell of her perfume was still heavy in the car. I couldn't explain it, but I felt...cold. Not in the kind of passive, ornery way that I had before, but more the my mother just left me out in the rain kind of way.
Not that my mother ever did that, but still. You know what I mean.
"Hey, sorry that took so long," Em replied, and I jolted as he shut the door. "The fucking pharmacist wouldn't tell me why he wouldn't recommend the lambskin condoms."
And suddenly, everything was back to normal.
And they stayed that way for the next few days. The incident with Bella, whatever you want to call it, seemed like a distant memory; like a dream that felt real but wasn't. It was too improbable and too...decadent to be real. By the time Valentine's Day actually rolled around, it did feel like something my over active imagination had made up.
But when I was just about to sit down to my very gourmet holiday dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, there was a light knock on my door. I paused, staring at the door, and waited a second. I was sure it would go away.
But then it happened again.
I sucked in a breath and went to the door, opening it slowly. The person on the other side shocked me. It was Bella, covered in rain, her hair matted down on the sides, and her navy rain coat no more than a wet piece of navy fabric. "Holy shit, get in here," I murmured, stepping a side to let her in, which she did without a word. "Are you okay," I asked, closing the door behind her and going to got her a towel.
"Yeah," She sighed, and I heard her voice trailing after me. "I'm okay."
I grabbed a couple of extra towels and then turned back to her. She hadn't moved from her spot at the beginning of the hallway, and I smiled a little at her. "What's going on?"
She sighed, and shook her head, running a hand through wet hair. I stepped forward, watching her shift nervously on her feet and stared pulling off her raincoat, which eventually slid off of her arms. "I was thinking about what you said in the car; when we were talking about being with someone, and...and after I left, I tried to think of all the reasons that I was with Jake, and what kept me with him."
My eyes flicked up to Bella's and I nodded for her to continue as I pulled off her red sweater. "And, I thought at the time that the reason I didn't have anything to say was because I choked, yanno?" She shook her head, running a hand through her hair. "I didn't. I really...couldn't think of one reason."
I nodded, wrapping a towel around her body and running my hands over the tops of her arms. "I'm sorry, Bella; that must have been tough on you."
She nodded,reaching out to fist a hand in my shirt and pulled me closer. "It would have been...but I knew I had somewhere to go."
I looked down at her face, the same wide innocent brown eyes, delicate nose, soft skin and...fuck, she was really beautiful. "I"m glad you came."
"Me too. I haven't...I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since...I attempted to kidnap you," The small grin that played at her lips was adorable.
"Yeah, me either," I replied, stepping a little closer and sliding a hand around her waist. "I think you're someone special, Bella."
"Swan."
"What?"
"My last name is Swan," I clarified. "That sounded like one of those moments where you needed a last name, so I thought I'd supply mine."
Bella Swan. Somehow it fit. "I'll be honest, right now I"m not that concerned about your last name."
"Good, because I"m only thinking about one thing right now," She murmured her eyes drifting down to my lips.
I pulled her closer hesitantly, and I could feel the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed against my own. My hand came up to cup her cheek and I leaned forward, brushing my lips lightly to hers. I shuddered a bit at the jolt that seemed to move through it, but it only seemed to embolden Bella. Her hands came up to tangle in my hair and her lips were pressed decisively against mine.
There was nothing better than that kiss in that moment. It was everything I wanted and needed in a kiss, everything I'd been craving in every intimate situation I'd ever been in. This was what I was craving.
I reached down at wrapped my arm around her waist, lifting her body up to mine. Her legs wrapped easily around my waist and I stumbled blindly toward the bedroom. "You need...to get out of those wet clothes."
Bella nodded, pulling back a little and stripped off her tee shirt, letting it fall with at saturated thump on the floor. "I think you're right."
Her hands were running all over my back, pulling up against my tee shirt, pulling it up to my shoulders once she realized that actually pulling it off of my body at that point would mean dropping her, something I didn't intend to do. I passively knocked the door to the bedroom closed and then set her on the bed, pulling off my tee shirt, and smiling down at her.
"Are you sure," I asked, leaning over her body, and kissing her again. I was growing more and more addicted to those kisses.
Bella nodded against me, and her hand moved to my jaw. "Completely."
And after that, there wasn't anything else to ask permission for. My hands glided carefully over her skin, each freckle that I found with my lips was more perfect than the last. I think that's what I appreciated most about a woman; her imperfections. Bella fit perfectly against me, and she made me want more and more of her and whatever it was that we had. The way she moaned and pushed me for more was intoxicating.
"Edward," She panted, biting her lip as she pulled me up from where I"d drifted to her chest. "Less clothes."
Well, I mean...who was I to say no to that?
I nodded, reaching around to undo the clasp of her bra and then peeled the soaked fabric from her, taking her in for the first time.
Perfect.
I dove in with reckless abandon, starting in slowly around her left breast, while giving the other attention with my hand. The closer I got to her nipple, the more she arched into me, her moans and sighs of my name egging me on and making me want to take more from her.
As much as she was willing to give me.
I bit down gently on her nipple, making her moan lowly, and press my face tightly to her chest. I grinned around the pert bud and laughed, the rumble rippling through her chest. The blush that would appear readily when she was embarrassed in the car was back in full force, coloring her chest and cheeks in a rosy glow.
"You're so fucking beautiful, Bella," I murmured, kissing over to her right breast and laving it with equal attention. "So fucking perfect; every inch of you."
"Don't tease," She whimpered, her hands half heartedly attempting to pull me back up to her lips. "Please...I need...I need to feel something real. Please."
Something inside me broke then. This girl deserved happiness, and deserved to have love and be loved. Maybe...maybe she felt that with me, so what I felt (honestly) didn't matter in that moment. What mattered what her, and what she needed. My own needs fell by the wayside instantly.
I wanted to be something real for her.
I nodded, kissing the peak of her breast once more and then moved back up to her lips, smashing them to my own. I needed her just as badly and there was no turning back. Not now; not at this point.
We quickly worked on each other's jeans, pushing them hastily down along with underwear and tossed them aside. I lifted my weight up off of her body so she could slide toward the top of the bed and I watched her carefully. She was completely perfect. Every last bit of her was amazingly perfect.
I ran a hand through my hair the other going to my erection, palming it a little to relieve a bit of tension. I couldn't believe I was able to wait this long, to be honest.
Bella's eyes followed my hand and she grinned. "Well, I'd say I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, but...I'm really not."
I laughed a little and shook my head, falling over her. "Me either," I murmured, kissing her again as I reached into the nightstand drawer for a condom. I pulled back, ripping open the foil wrapper with my teeth and pulling out the condom to roll it on. Once I was ready to go, I lined myself up with her entrance, running the tip of my cock along her sopping slit. She wanted this just as badly as I did.
"Please..." she murmured, pressing me closer so that her lips were beside my ear.
And I needed her, so I gave us both what we wanted.
I pressed into her carefully, letting her adjust to my size. Bella arched against me, her hips moving rhythmically against my own, pushing me deeper and harder. I stilled inside her once I was fully seated, and then pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in.
"Fuck, Bella...so damn tight," I mumbled incoherently, thrusting my hips faster against hers as she met me. Bella moaned underneath me, her hands running over my back, scratching at my skin and her heels digging into my ass to keep me close. That was, hands down the most erotic thing I'd ever felt in my entire life. The fact that she couldn't get me close enough; like I couldn't be enough of a part of her.
I wanted to give her everything I had, and I knew she wanted to give that to me too. I wanted to feel more of her.
I wanted her to come.
"Baby, baby please," I groaned, my voice going gravelly with lust. "I need you to cum; I want you to cum all over my cock, baby please."
She started panting under me, nodding her head and pressing her lips to mine. I snaked a hand between us, pressing my thumb and forefinger against her clit. "Come, Bella. Do it."
"FUCK!" She screamed, pressing her body tightly against mine as I felt her walls start to tremble around me. "EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD FUCKKKK!"
And there was nothing sexier than hearing her scream my name as she came. Nothing. I continued to buck wildly into her as she came, and once I was sure she was coming down I finally let go, pressing my hips completely to hers and burying my face in her neck.
I'd never come that hard in my life.
It took me a while to catch my breath, but after a while I rolled off of her, panting as I stared at the ceiling. A slow smile crept across my lips and I laughed.
Emmett was right.
Sex was better on Valentine's day.
