I own nothing (and I think the cast of Once Upon a Time may be relieved about that if any of them read this).
Scene: Mr. Gold's house
[Clan Charmings are standing around obviously not quite sure how they got there or why they were let in]
[Enter Gold and Belle]
Gold: You're probably wondering why I asked you here. Don't worry. It's nothing evil or painful this time. You're just here to act as witnesses to a deal, since our beloved - well, not utterly despised - rulers, Snow and Charming, have been going on a bit about due process and other legal technicalities, which is a laugh given that they probably don't even know the legal rights bestowed by a movie ticket stub -
Belle: Ah-hem.
Gold: But, far be it from me not to respect their majesties idiosyncrasies. Therefore -
[Gold faces Belle, taking her hands]
Gold: Belle, if it is agreeable to you, I hereby swear before these witnesses to be a faithful and loving husband to you - and, more importantly, one who you can rely on to guard and protect you and deal with any enemies or sufficiently inconvenient people up to and including slaughtering and destroying them from off of the face of this or any other earth.
[Belle gives him a look]
Gold: Er, and to also show decent respect for any requests you make to spare their miserable lives.
[Belle sighs]
[Pause]
Gold [whispering]: You're supposed to say whether or not you accept.
Belle [hesitates a moment while obviously wondering if she should have him reword his oath or if any later rephrasings are likely to be an improvement. She decides probably not]: I accept.
[Gold looks visibly relieved]
Belle: Rumplestiltskin Gold, I hereby swear to be a loving and faithful wife - which does not mean I am going to ignore it if you go off the deep end when it comes to slaughter and destruction. Those are deal breakers. Take it or leave it.
Gold [grinning like a kid in a candy store]: Oh, I'll take it. Absolutely. Offer accepted.
[Turns back to shell shocked Clan Charmings]
Gold: Well, that fulfills all your legal requirements. Thank you for coming. The door's that way. Don't let it hit you on the way out.
The above was inspired by wondering what kind of wedding Gold would have, and realizing 1) He would resent allowing anyone else (like a priest or justice of the peace) to be in a position to say, "No way can I possibly square it with my conscience to preside over this ceremony," 2) He would resent having to go into a center of power that doesn't belong to him (like a church or courthouse), and 3) Quaker wedding ceremonies are limited to a simple exchange of promises before witnesses without a presiding official.