Jane walked around the palace sluggishly. This was a day that she had dreaded; this was the day that Loki was to marry Sigyn.
When she was asked to become his mistress, she was hesitant; it meant that she could never be more than just that. It meant that she could never have him to herself, that she would have to share him. Jane couldn't bear losing him, but she was unsure that she would be able to accept seeing him in secret. She hated the idea of being forced to hide.
She wanted to be his, and she wanted him to be hers alone. Still, he had found a way for her to agree to it.
Jane eventually found her way back to her room, and upon entering, found a note on her bed. She turned it over and broke the familiar gold seal.
Darling Jane,
Please come to my room at your earliest convenience.
Yours,
L
Jane's chest tightened; she wanted to see him, but she knew that she shouldn't, especially today.
She absentmindedly played with the emerald necklace he gave to her. With a heavy heart, Jane set out to find Loki as she thought of a way to end it.
oOoOo
Jane stood before the great wooden doors that led to his bedroom. She had stood in this spot so many times before, and it pained her to know that this may be the very last time she ever would.
She knocked on the door, as she always did, and the door opened immediately to reveal Loki with a few other servants helping him prepare for the wedding. Jane stood patiently in the doorway, observing him from afar. He looked handsome, especially in ceremonial dress.
He turned, his eyes immediately meeting Jane's.
"Leave us," he instructed. The servants attending to him bowed and left. He smiled widely, happy to see her. He crossed the room and wrapped her in his embrace. She weakly returned it, but Loki did not seem to notice. He began trailing hot kisses down her neck.
"You wanted to see me?" she said, fighting the tingling sensation radiating through her entire body. He hummed against her collarbone.
"I did not know I had to have a reason for wanting to see you, Jane," he murmured. Jane closed her eyes and indulged him for a few moments as his lips met hers. It was the same heated kiss she would always crave, the same embrace that she would gladly be kept in for eternity if she could.
Loki lifted her off her feet and began to carry her over to the bed, but Jane broke away from him before he went too far.
"No. We can't."
He furrowed his brow and dropped his arms to his sides. "Why not?"
Because I can't do this anymore.
Because I can't be your secret.
Because I love you.
"Because you still have to get ready; you don't want to go to your wedding ceremony disheveled," she lied easily, offering him a weak smile. Loki eventually nodded in assent.
"You're right." He grinned at her. "After, then."
Jane only smiled again. "Goodbye, Loki."
oOoOo
Jane stood out on the balcony that connected to her room for the last time. The light evening breeze played with her hair and steeled her resolve.
It was time to leave.
She walked back into her room and checked one last time for anything that she wanted to take with her. Her bag was packed and ready, sitting on the bed next to the emerald dress that had been laid out for her to wear for the wedding earlier that day. Ignoring it, she lifted the bag off the bed and set it on the floor, turning to check the room one last time. She was checking inside the bathroom when she heard the bedroom door slam open and closed.
"Jane?"
Her heart dropped. No.
Jane slowly made her way out of the bathroom to find Loki standing in the middle of her bedroom, a confused look on his face.
"Jane," he said breathlessly. He stepped toward her, but she stepped back.
"Where were you? Why didn't you come?"
Now it was Jane's turn to be bewildered. "To your wedding you mean? Please tell me that isn't what you're talking about." Loki nodded.
"Yes, Jane. Why were you not there?"
"You can't seriously be asking me that, Loki!"
"Well, I am! You told me you would be there!"
"What, so I could watch the man I love marry another? There was no way I could be there!"
He looked at her, eyes filled with hurt. "Jane, I—"
"No, Loki. You shouldn't have expected me to be there. Sigyn would not have wanted it!"
"But I wanted you there!"
"That doesn't matter! What you want doesn't matter anymore!" she shouted. "That was selfish of you! To ask me to go to your wedding when you knew how I felt about you! How I still feel about you!" Loki stepped back. Jane tried to hold in her tears.
"I think it's time for me to go," she said quietly. She reached for her bag.
"You cannot possibly mean that. Please, Jane, don't leave. Don't leave me."
"I have to go, Loki."
He shook his head. "No, Jane, you don't. You don't have to go. Please."
Jane turned on him. "How can you ask me that? How can you ask me to stay, especially now that you're married? No, I need to leave. I'm already the source of gossip and ridicule in Asgard just by being here. Imagine if someone found out about us! I have a feeling Sigyn wouldn't appreciate me sticking around." She shook her head and slung her bag over her shoulder, making her way to the door. Loki moved before her and dropped to his knees.
"Jane, don't leave."
"I have to. Please move."
"No."
"Loki, move."
He stood. "I will not let you. You may not leave." His anger arose from his fear, and Jane could see it in his eyes.
Jane, with indignant tears in her eyes, tore at the chain around her neck and let it fall to the ground. The pendant landed at Loki's feet, and his gaze met hers. In that single moment, Jane could see his heart break, and it took all of her strength not to pull him close to her, to tell him she was sorry and that she loved him.
"Goodbye, Loki."
Without another word, she swept around him and left him standing alone in her room.
oOoOo
Jane stood in the Bifrost chamber, ready to leave. She was thankful Loki had not followed her.
"I have to leave, Heimdall. It's time for me to go."
The eternal guardian nodded in understanding. He placed the sword in the slot and the Bifrost began to spin. Jane turned around and faced him.
"Thank you."
Heimdall nodded. "Hearts will heal, Lady Foster. Give it time."
oOoOo
Two months later
Jane sipped her tea in between shutting down her equipment for the evening. When everything was shut off, she strode into the kitchen and poured more tea. All was quiet.
Admittedly, it was lonely, but Jane preferred Puente Antiguo to the bustle of the city as well as the palace in Asgard. Her mind caught on an image of Loki, but she shook it out of her mind.
Don't dwell on it, Jane. It's done and you're free.
Jane set her mug of tea on the counter and tried to ignore the throbbing pain in her chest.
Just breathe…
Just then, Jane heard a knock on the glass doors of the lab. It distracted her from the pain, and she furrowed her brow. Turning slowly, she faced the doorway, and a cloaked figure stood outside.
"Come in," she said warily. The hooded figure opened the glass door slowly and stepped inside the lab.
"Can I help you? It's a little late—"
The cloaked figure pulled back the hood, and Jane gasped, eyes widening. The fair skin and hair as well as brilliant blue eyes were as familiar to her as the night.
Sigyn.
oOoOo
A week before
Loki stood before the hearth, aloof and silent. Sigyn pressed her lips together. His behavior as of late had been different; he had become distant and occupied. Whenever she had tried to speak with him, he always answered half-heartedly, his mind elsewhere. Sigyn rose from their bed and padded over toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her head against his shoulder.
"Something bothers you, does it not?" she asked softly.
Loki shook his head and shrugged her off, stepping away from her.
"Something troubles you, Loki; I can see it in your eyes." Sigyn grabbed hold of his elbow and forced him to look at her. "Ever since we've been married, you've changed. You are not the man you once were. Tell me what has changed," she pleaded.
His eyes fell from hers and he shook his head again. "You are mistaken, Sigyn."
She smiled sadly. "I did not know that the God of Mischief and Deceit lost his talents so suddenly. You are not convincing me."
"Will you just let it alone?"
"No! I will not! Not until I have a proper answer from you!"
Loki's emerald eyes momentarily flashed an angry red, but Sigyn did not stand down.
"Tell me what it is. Have I done something?"
"No, Sigyn," Loki responded curtly, growing impatient.
"Then what?" she pressed, raising her voice. Loki wrenched his arm from her grasp and began to walk away.
"Enough, Sigyn!" he shouted. The entire room shook, and Sigyn stood still, stunned. Never had Loki shouted at her like he just did. He must have realized it as well because his facial expression changed. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. The silence in the room was deafening.
"You wish to know what it is that troubles me, Sigyn?" he whispered. Sigyn nodded.
Loki inhaled. "We have not been entirely honest with one another, but now that we are married, it is time you knew. Before we were married, and even during our courtship, my time was invested in another woman. We had only known each other for a short while, but it did not change the fact that I loved her, and she loved me.
"When the Allfather told me I should take a wife, he suggested that I choose you, simply for political reasons. We needed a strong peace between our families, and I was not about to tell Odin no. She was going to leave, but I convinced her to stay; I told her that things would work out, said that everything would be better in time. She believed me, but as time passed, she became tired of having to hide. She left me."
Sigyn remained silent as she put the pieces together.
"Is she the Midgardian?" she asked tersely.
Loki nodded. "Jane Foster."
Sigyn's mind raced, but strangely, was not angry with him. She furrowed her brows.
"Why did you not tell me?"
"Because I feared it would condemn our union; I married you for the sake of Asgard, not for the sake of love. I am sorry Sigyn. I am sorry that I did not tell you."
"She must have left on the day of our wedding. I do recall your distress that evening," she remarked absently. "I should have made that connection." Sigyn lifted her eyes to meet his gaze.
"I am not the one in need of an apology. If anything, the least you can give her is an explanation."
Loki was confused; despite everything he had just confessed, Sigyn was encouraging him to go to her. He shook his head.
"I cannot. How can I think to face her now after everything has been said and done?"
Sigyn walked up to him and gently held his face between her hands. She kissed his forehead.
"You will think of a way."
oOoOo
Jane bowed her head. "Princess Si—"
"No need for that, Jane Foster." She smiled kindly. "May I sit?" she asked, gesturing to the sectional in the middle of the lab. Jane nodded quickly.
"I uh, can I get you anything? Water? Tea?"
Sigyn smiled sweetly. "Tea would be lovely." Jane nodded and set about making it.
"I apologize for appearing on your doorstep at such a late hour. Time passes differently here than it does in Asgard," she began.
"Oh, it's no problem. I was just finishing up some work anyway." Jane finished the tea and brought it over to Sigyn. She took it gratefully and sipped it. She gestured for Jane to sit down.
"Unfortunately, I am not here for a social visit. There are matters we need to discuss regarding Loki."
Jane momentarily shut her eyes. She's found out.
"As you have probably guessed by now, Loki has told me about your courtship."
Jane bit her lip and nodded.
"Let me tell you that this surprised me; I must say, I did not foresee such a thing happening, but the heart cannot help what it desires." She paused, in thought. "The day of our wedding, after the ceremony, I could tell that his mind was elsewhere; his eyes were constantly scanning the room, and when I would ask about it, he would simply comment on the amount of guests in attendance.
"He had disappeared for a while during the dances, but I did not think much of it. After all, the union between Loki and myself was merely political. The love was not present, but I was sure it would grow, in time.
"Later that evening, I could not find him anywhere. I searched in the bedrooms and the gardens, as well as the libraries and the observatories. Loki was nowhere to be found. The next morning he had returned to me, but he was not the same. The gleam in his eyes had diminished, and he has been distant ever since. His health worsened; he hardly ate or drank, and he never left the palace. It was only a week ago that I had found out. Now I understand."
Sigyn straightened her posture and looked directly at Jane. "You should understand that I am not here to exact revenge for being lied to, or to call you vile things. In fact, I am not angry, as you might think. Quite the opposite, really. Though, I am here for another reason entirely; I have come to ask you to return to Asgard."
"Why?"
"Because he needs you, more than anything. I should like to think that you are the spark that ignites the best in him," she said with a kind smile. Jane didn't understand her kindness. Here was Loki's wife, who should have been angry at her, asking her to return to the very place that she had vowed to never again set foot. Jane stood and hugged herself, feeling a slight chill.
"That…that isn't a good enough reason. I don't think Loki ever really loved me; he loved the idea of me." She shook her head. "I can't go back."
Sigyn stood and approached Jane. "Jane, you must." Her voice dropped to a soft whisper. "I know you still love him. I saw it in your eyes when I talked of his declining health. The worry in your gaze was enough confirmation."
Jane tried to think of an excuse, but Sigyn stopped her. She forced her to turn around.
"Look me in the eye, Jane, and tell me you do not love him."
Jane's chest tightened, and her eyes filled with tears.
"I cannot," she choked out. Sigyn nodded sympathetically.
"Then what is it that stops you from returning, Jane?"
"I don't want to hide anymore. I refuse to be his mistress." She sniffed. "Why should he choose me and not you? I don't understand it; you're much better suited for that life."
"That may be right, but you are better suited for Loki." Sigyn reached up and wiped away a stray tear. "We both want what is best for Loki, and we both know that it is you. Will you return with me?"
"Yes."
oOoOo
Sigyn stepped into Loki's bedroom; he stood where he always did with the same pensive expression.
"Loki," she began slowly, "I've thought about our discussion from last week, and I have a proposition for you."
"Hmm?"
"I believe that it would be best if we dissolved our union."
"Come again?"
"You heard what I said. It would benefit the both of us. I have spoken at great length with both the Allfather and my own father, and peace has already been achieved between our families. Although the annulment of the marriage is unconventional, they both understand."
"Why?" he asked, more confused than ever.
"Because, there is another woman who needs you just as much as you need her."
"I am certain that I need her more than she will ever need me," he whispered.
"You should ask her," Sigyn replied. Loki only shook his head.
"I could not show my face to her again. She hates me, and I do not blame her. I deserve it."
"Fate may surprise you, Loki Laufeyson." Sigyn placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before she left the room. Loki sighed and walked out onto the balcony. He was left alone with his thoughts once again.
Or so he thought.
After a few quiet moments, Loki froze. The gentle breeze carried a familiar earthy scent, setting his senses ablaze.
Citrus and chypre.
"Hi." Her voice was soft, almost inaudible.
It cannot be.
Loki turned slowly to see Jane standing in the doorway of the balcony. Her chestnut hair fell in gentle waves about her shoulders, and her amber eyes warmed him to the core. She studied his face as he stared in disbelief.
He took a step forward, and Jane hesitantly did the same. With a trembling hand, Loki reached out to touch her cheek, to see if she was real. When his fingertips made contact with her skin, she leaned into his hand, relishing his cool touch. Loki's mind could not process everything that it was trying to work through.
Without a second thought, he pulled Jane into his arms and cried. Jane held him tightly, and the both of them sank to the ground. He pulled away and cupped her face between his hands, just to ensure he was not dreaming.
"Jane, you came back," he said through choked sobs. She nodded, tears of her own forming in her eyes.
"I did."
"W—why?"
"Because I had to, and because you needed me to."
He sniffed. "Jane, you deserve so much better. You deserve better than me."
"No, I don't. I deserve you, and you deserve me." She offered him a small smile. "That's how it's supposed to be. That's what we promised each other, in the very beginning, remember?"
Loki smiled ruefully, recalling it rather well.
"I hurt you, Jane; I have done you a great wrong, and you should despise me—"
"I don't. I never have. I love you. I've always loved you."
Her declaration made his heart swell.
"Do you…do you really mean that?"
She nodded. "With all my heart."
Abandoning restraint, Loki pulled her to his lips. He kissed her fervently, as if he were trying to make up for lost time. His arm snaked around her waist and he tugged her closer until all that separated them was a layer of clothing. Jane brought a hand up to his porcelain face and stroked her thumb along his cheekbone. She draped her other arm over his shoulder and leaned into him.
Jane couldn't believe how she'd forgotten how good it felt to be close to him; it was intoxicating. His lips moved in sync with hers, matching them perfectly as the kiss grew more passionate. A warm feeling settled in Jane's stomach, as familiar and as welcome as a summer breeze.
Loki's lips began to move more urgently with increasing desperation. She tasted salt as a few tears spilled down his cheek, intermingling with their lips. The thought struck her hazy mind with stunning clarity.
He's afraid of losing me.
Jane pulled away to breathe, and she placed her hand on his chest. His heart beat rapidly beneath his tunic. He kissed her lips again with more force, but did not linger there for long. His lips moved along her jawbone, down her neck, and did not stop until he reached her collarbone.
"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered. Her words were his release; he slowed, and eventually raised his head up to meet her gaze.
"Jane, may I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Will you stay?"
She placed a chaste kiss on his tear-stained cheek.
"I'll stay."
A/N: I'm not completely heartless; happy endings for all :] Hope you enjoyed! Please review!