AN: I just started writing and decided to turn what I wrote into a Faberry story. I just love the pairing so much, I feel like they have so much untapped potential. This fic starts with this conversation and then will go back to the beginning and work its way here again. Then we will see how far it goes after that. Does that make sense? Well, I hope you all enjoy it and please leave reviews! I love to hear your opinions. Enjoy!
Chapter 1 - Please Tell Me, Baby, It's Not A Mistake
"Please don't go," she pleaded as she clinched her eyelids tightly together. Several tears were threatening their way out of their emotional prison. "Just listen for a second, okay?"
Quinn turned to face Rachel and breathed a heavy sigh. She could see her breath make small clouds in the air. It was extremely cold, colder than usual for Lima in October. "How did we end up here, Rach?" Quinn's voice was walking a tight rope between a whisper and a sob. There was a very apparent degree of despair to every word she muttered.
"I don't know, I don't. All I know is I can't lose you, I won't." She spat out quickly, her voice wavering. Rachel, the short of the two, was rocking back and forth on her tiptoes.
"Couldn't you have thought of that before? We can't—" she was cut off by Rachel's violent head shake and words.
"I know and I did!" She feverishly exclaimed. "But you could have too! I'm not the only one in this!"
"You think I'm not aware of this, Rachel?" Quinn snipped quickly as she looked to the ground dejected. Her hair framed her face in shadows cascading from the streetlights in front of her house. "I thought we'd be okay, just how we were. But now we're here and I feel like I know absolutely nothing anymore." She ran her hand through her blonde hair as Rachel caught a glimpse of the light that was now glimmering off of the cheerleader's unshed tears. "Here I am, in this moment, I can't look at Sam and see your eyes anymore. But I've made a commitment."
"A stupid promise ring."
"Don't sell the events in my life short!" Quinn spoke passionately.
"I know, I'm sorry. After everything that happened between you, Finn, and Puck…" Rachel let her words end as quickly as they began; she was regretting most of the words coming from her mouth this evening. "But you can't do this to him either, I know how you are feeling."
"Do you, do you know what this feels like at all?" Quinn's voice was above a bark now and it made the short girl cringe visibly. "I'm sorry."
"I don't think you are, Quinn. You like being able to blame me for the decay of your "perfect"," she literally used air quotes, "high school relationship, but we both know if it wasn't me someone else would have." Rachel sighed knowing she'd just spoke one of the unspoken truths they'd kept guarded.
"Don't you dare act like I don't care for you, all I do is care for you!" The tall blonde took a step closer to the girl, sizing her up.
"I don't doubt that but this tangent of the argument is about how you are too scared to let Sam go, though you know good and well your relationship is beyond repair." Rachel said while pointing her slim finger, sizing Quinn up in return.
"That is mighty mature of you, someone should knock you down a few pegs." She spat.
"I think you're doing a fine job of that on your own, Quinn." She said quietly.
The taller girl took a deep breath and stepped closer to Rachel. Their eyes met and it was an explosion of chocolate and hazel. The diva's brown eyes were quickly becoming a darker shade than Quinn had ever seen. Both girls in t-shirts were trembling, too involved in the drama unfolding between them to even notice their decreasing body temperatures. Quinn raised her hand tentatively and tucked an erratic curl behind Rachel's ear.
"I never want to hurt you," Quinn whispered as the scent of her breath filled Rachel's nostrils. It smelled like English breakfast tea, the blonde's favorite. She suddenly had an urge to kiss the girl, but thought it best to get this conversation realized, once and for all.
"We both know you already have." A tear escaping the brown pool of her eyes, "pick me." The two words were whispered for the first time within this long odyssey the two had embarked on several seasons ago. "I'll treat you right."
"I think that is what I'm most afraid of," Quinn's warm palm becoming flush with Rachel's frozen face. "You are everything, Rach."
"And yet it isn't enough," she answered while stumbling back slightly as if she'd been wounded.
"Of course it is!"
"Then what is he?" The diva challenged, as she tended to do.
"He is a year! He's the first guy who has really cared and committed. That has got to count for something. I'd hate to think I wasted my time." Quinn searched for the answers she knew she didn't have.
"Oh boy, me too!" the tiny brunette replied sarcastically.
"Why can't you understand how hard this is? What about Finn?" The taller girl was flabbergasted.
"Because you did this yourself! I ended things with Finn as soon as I realized what I felt and how we were! Sure I was there guiding the way for you, but Jesus Christ, Quinn! When you start choosing someone over him then that should have been the end of it!" Her voice had become so desperate.
"You are sounding SO self righteous, do you know that?" She laughed bitterly. "I literally cannot handle you right now!" Quinn clutched the air as if she was trying to make it crumble in her hands.
"Then go! Once and for all! Walk out and I'll know you chose him! Go home to that. Win your prom queen title, have your perfect blonde children, and go to church with your mother. Isn't it what you've wanted all along?" Rachel could barely push the thin threat from her lips.
"I want you." The silence was now deafening between the pair. The only sounds to be heard were the wrestling of the bugs in the air and the cars in the distance. "Its—well, you, we are all I've wanted all along. All of that you said, that isn't for me, you're for me."
"THEN WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DECIDE!" Rachel had heard enough. With sobs wrecking her body she turned on her heals and let the night swallow her in its darkness.
Quinn did not speak, nor did she chase after the girl. She simply fell to her knees. A slight thud echoed through the night as her knees met the pavement. If she weren't so numb it probably would have caused her a great deal of pain. Yet here she was, her tears falling rapidly and staining the pavement.
For the first time since she had started her torrid relationship with Rachel Berry she felt truly alone.