Seo Jung Hoo had thought he wanted to be alone. He thought he never wanted to see anyone ever again. If he never spoke to anyone, then no one else would get hurt because of him. Then he saw her. Through his blurry vision, he swore he saw Chae Young Shin. But it couldn't be her. She didn't know where he lived, and she'd have no way of getting inside even if she did. Then… was he dreaming? He'd dreamed of her before, of her holding him and worrying about him. This was just another one of those wonderful dreams were she hugged him and loved him. As long as it wasn't real, what was the harm in embracing her? He melted into her strong arms and snuggled against her chest. He knew it would hurt in the morning when she wasn't there, but god, it felt good right now.
But then she was there. When Jung Hoo had woken up, she was in his kitchen, cooking for him, of all things. She'd stayed the night, in his bed, in his clothes, with him in her arms. There was still a part of him that didn't believe it. But the stronger part of him knew it was true, and he knew she had to leave. She would only be put in danger staying by his side, and he wouldn't allow her to get hurt. He would never forgive himself if he got her killed, just like he had done to Teacher.
So he pushed her away and said hateful things. All the while, he wanted to pull her close, but he knew this was what he needed to do. Away from him, she would hurt but she would be safe. And no matter how much he hurt her, it was only a fraction of the agony he was feeling.
But she was stubborn, he knew that. Young Shin's determination was one of the things he loved about her. But right now, it was infuriating. He was trying to protect her, and all she said was that it didn't matter. She didn't care that he'd lied to her. But she would. Jung Hoo knew that if she truly knew everything, she would hate him. She didn't even know his real name, and she said it didn't matter.
He tried. God, he really tried. But he could feel his resolve crumbling. He had been alone for so long, and then she came into his life. And she liked Healer and Bong Soo. She liked him and she had been worried and here she was, begging him not to throw her out because he'd cry forever. Young Shin was right, he would cry forever without her.
And when she hugged him, he knew he was gone. He was hopelessly in love with her, and he couldn't push her away. She would be put in danger, and she trusted him to protect her. He had to, he had to keep her safe. But right now, she was the one taking care of him.
He resisted her pulling away from him, but she looked up at him with a sad smile, and he realized that she had no intention of leaving. He swore, his heart skipped a beat when he felt her soft fingers under his eyes, brushing away his tears. And when her lips touched his, it stopped beating altogether.
He wrapped his arms around her and responded to her kiss. He had kissed her once before, but this was better. So much better. Now he knew for a fact it had to be a dream. In what world would Chae Young Shin kiss him? But still, he kissed her in the way he had always wanted to. His arms tightened around her as he felt her hands rubs against his neck and hair.
When they finally broke apart, he was breathless. All she did was stare up at him, not quite sure where to go from here, "Does this mean you'll let me stay?" she asked, not wanting to break the spell they seemed to be under.
Before he thought better of it, Jung Hoo pressed his forehead against hers and whispered, "Don't go."
Chae Young Shin honestly hadn't thought it would work. She had hugged him, but she expected he would push her away and shove her out his door. She hadn't thought he would embrace her back, and she definitely hadn't thought he would kiss her back.
Even though she had been worried, she still had her misgivings about him. He had lied to her for so long, she didn't even know what was true. But if he didn't like her… why had he kissed her on the roof? If it was just about the money, why had he never just done his job and left? Why did he always stay and make sure she was okay?
She had to believe that there was a part of their relationship that was real. Her feelings were real, and her worry for him was real. So she had broken into his house without any hesitation and had found him half dead. The fact that he allowed her in his bed showed what bad shape he was in.
But by morning, he was back to normal and wanting her gone. She had said she'd wait for him, but she was done waiting. She couldn't leave him here to destroy himself. So she hugged him and hope he could sense all the love behind her simple words.
She tightened her grip when she felt him fall into her. And when she felt his hot tears on her shoulders, she knew he was done resisting her.
She gently pushed him away just far enough that she could wipe the tears from his eyes. She had seen enough crying to last a lifetime, and she couldn't stand to see him in so much pain. Before she could stop herself, she pressed her lips against his. She expected him to push her away. She had crossed the line, she knew it.
She suppressed a gasp when she felt him return the kiss. So what he felt for her been real. Her knees nearly buckled when she felt his arms wrap around her and his hands rub her back. She couldn't stop her own from exploring the skin along the base of his neck. When they broke apart, she could barely contain her smile, "Does this mean you'll let me stay?"
His response was murmured so softly that she barely heard it, "Don't go." She finally let her smile break free.
"Really?" she asked in astonishment.
"Please, Chae Young Shin," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "Don't leave me."
"I won't," she said as she leaned up to look into his eyes, "Not ever."
Before he could think better of it, Jung Hoo crushed his lips against hers again. This kiss was forceful and more passionate. He tried to put everything he was feeling into that one kiss. After she left in the morning, he didn't know when he'd get the chance to kiss her like this again and he wanted to make the most of it.
She kissed him back just as ferociously and before she knew it, she was breathless and aching from the contact. She had never kissed anyone like that before. She's dated a few guys here and there, but she had mostly been focused on her career. Young Shin didn't know how to do romance and, but then again neither did he. How many girls could the elusive Healer have dated? As far as she could tell, she was the only person other than that other lady to even know where he live. He had to be just as clueless as she was.
He didn't know how to date, or be a boyfriend. But he knew he loved her, and he would do anything to make her safe and happy. They may never have a real relationship, but they had tonight. So he continued to kiss her. He was prepared for her to stop him when his touches became too desperate. He was prepared to stop at any time, but she didn't stop him.
If anything, she pushed him forward and when his lips moved from her lips to her neck, Jung Hoo swore he heard her moan. This was going to go too far… but was that a bad thing? She liked him and he liked her. They were both adults. Was there anything wrong with this?
"Chae Young Shin," he murmured against her collarbone, "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"No," she said breathlessly.
He smiled and moved his hands so they were pressed against the small ribbon of skin that had been exposed during their kissing, "How about now?"
"Take off your coat," she said, trying to distract herself from the feeling of his hands against her bare waist, "We aren't going anywhere."
He begrudgingly took his hands from her abdomen and slipped out of his coat. Was this her subtle way of telling him to stop touching her? He took their separation to fully look at her for a moment. Her eyes were red around the edges from crying and she looked exhausted. Jung Hoo feared he didn't look much better.
"So you just walked into my closet and stole my clothes?" he asked after a tense moment.
"I couldn't sleep in my street clothes, could I?" she asked with a laugh, "I think I look kinda good in them." she said with a small twirl. Great, now he couldn't get the image of her in everything else he owned out of his head.
"You look good in everything," he said before he could stop himself. Then he looked at the ground and cursed his own stupidity. What kind of person says things like that? But when he looked back up, she didn't look uncomfortable, she only gave him a small smile.
"If you don't like it…" she said slowly, "I could always… take it off?"
Jung Hoo felt his breath catch. Was she… was she flirting with him? He looked at her hands, which were holding on loosely to the hem of the shirt. When he looked at her face, all he saw was her satisfied smirk at making him flustered. This was the game she wanted to play? Well, he could play it too.
He closed the space between them and held her face in his hands, "Then I suppose you'll have to take off my pants too?" he saw her grin falter for a moment before it was replaced with her sultry gaze again, "Ack, honestly, Young Shin, what would you father think?"
"I'm an adult," she shrugged, "I can make my own choices."
"And you choose me?" he asked seriously. He was done with playful flirting, needed to know the answer.
"Yes," she said without hesitation.
"You really mean it?" he asked again, "Because, Chae Young Shin, you can't back out of this."
"Does it look like I'm hesitating?"
He searched her eyes for any insincerity, but he could see only affection, "You don't even know my real name."
"There's plenty you don't know about me," she said. Not as much as you think, he thought, "But what is your name?"
"Seo Jung Hoo," he replied.
"Seo Jung Hoo…" she repeated, seeing how it rolled off of her tongue, "I am Chae Young Shin, nice to meet you."
"Miss Chae Young Shin… may I kiss you?"
"Kinda forward considering we just met," she laughed.
Before he could come up with a clever retort, he felt her lips on his again. This time, there was no hesitation from either of them. There was just pure, raw love and passion. His tongue found hers and soon they were lost in the sensations of each other.
Before they knew what was happening, he pushed her forward a little too far and she fell backwards and landed on the bed, with him on top of her.
"I see Seo Jung Woo is as much of a klutz as Park Bong Soo," she said between giggles.
"Says the girl who cuts her finger on every metal can she opens," he replied.
"Ah, not every one," she said angrily.
"Just one in every three," he amended, "Which is why I will never let you open one on your own."
"Ack, this guy," she muttered. For a moment, they got so lost in their banter that they forgot her was on top of her. But Jung Hoo came back to reality soon and realized that every part of her was pressed against him. Touching her like this… it had been something he'd imagined, but now it was happening, he wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to love her in every way possible, but he wasn't sure how far she'd let him go.
"You're really not afraid of me?" he asked.
"No," she said, "I'm not."
He brought his hand up and brushed her bangs off of her face, "I'm a little scared of me," he admitted, "I'm not always a good guy, Young Shin."
"I trust you… Jung Hoo," she said.
"I love you," he blurted out. Why did she always make him say things without thinking about them?
"You what?" she asked.
"I love you, Chae Young Shin, I have for a while." He said quietly. He couldn't believe he'd told her like this, with no sort of set up. They hadn't even been out on a real date.
"I love you too," she replied as she pulled his face back down to hers so their lips connected.
He tangled his hands in her hair as she lifted his shirt enough that she could feel his ribs. He groaned as she slowly massaged the skin, still bruised from his last fight.
"Sorry," she whispered as she snapped her hands away, "I didn't know."
"Don't be sorry," he said as he kissed her again while wrapping his arms around her waist and flipping them so she was on top. She looked down at him nervously. This was something she had never done before. Did he want to advance their relationship so soon? He said that he loved her, but being in love and being able to have a relationship were two different things. She didn't want this to be a one night stand, she wanted to be with him.
"You're afraid I'll leave," he murmured sadly, "I won't."
"How can I believe that?" she asked, tears coming to her eyes, "I want to believe you, but…"
"You can't," he replied, "But I love you, Chae Young Shin, and I can't live without you."
She smiled and drew him close to her again. There was so much they needed to discuss, so much he needed to tell her. But for tonight, they were done with words.