The Conversation
FULL DISCLOSURE: Draft material - may be modified or deleted
Author's Note: The plan is to insert this in another story that is in fragments now. But a few folks PM'd that they'd like to hear my take on a Spock-Kirk conversation. So here's a draft. This shouldn''t change here but once it's incorporated into the other story it will be deleted.
As always, please leave reviews - let me know if this rings true. Comments and criticisms appreciated.
Arriving days before Spock's newest baby, the Uhuras took over. Spock had never experienced so many women crammed into so little space in his life. With three other kids to take care of, one with special needs, Uhura put out a distress call and the family Uhura came running.
Uhuras had invaded and occupied Spock's quarters.
Grayson bailed hours before Uhura went into labor and hadn't returned, camping out in Kirk's quarters. Spock held on through labor, delivery and the next three days. But when Kirk came to visit the Enterprise's newest crew member on the fourth day, he took one look around and immediately rescued Spock. They never missed him.
Kirk's quarters sat between Spock's and the Mess Hall so they stopped to check in on a sleeping Grayson and to pick up three bottles of bourbon. Arriving at the Mess Hall, Spock programmed in his favorite recipe for Spanish drinking chocolate and ordered 3 carafes.
For an hour they drank silently, enjoying the absence of confusion and Uhuras in their immediate vicinity. By the second container of their respective poisons the Mess Hall stood empty for the evening.
"Gotta say, I envy you, Spock. That's a damn fine family you've got."
"Thank you."
"How does she do it? Mother of 3 and she looks as good four days after number 4 arrives as she did the day she boarded the Enterprise from the Academy."
"I have asked her."
"What did she say?"
"Chocolate. And lots of it."
Kirk howled. Chocolate acted as an all-purpose intoxicant and aphrodisiac for Spock. Kirk suspected chocolate contributed mightily to baby number 4 now sleeping in their quarters.
"You're a lucky man. You have no idea how hard it is to find someone - the right one."
Spock refilled their cups.
"I tried to take her from you. You should've never left her with me."
Spock let silence speak for him as he sipped methodically from his cup, its contents cooled to room temperature.
"Nothing I did could shake that bond you have. I still don't know how the hell you showed up right on time. I hated to see you there. Hated you."
"She called me. She needed me. With Grayson's birth weight, we almost lost - "
Kirk cut him off. "Don't say it."
"Jim, she has bonded to you. I have seen it in her mind."
Spock poured again noting Jim's inability to do so for himself.
"Not like your bond. If it had, she'd be in my quarters with four kids, not yours. She loves me alright. Just not the same way she loves you. I knew. That night when you showed up in Sick Bay, when Grayson came, I knew I didn't stand a chance. Nobody's ever loved me like that."
Kirk acknowledged Spock's pour and downed the shot.
"Being with her ruined me. Nobody else comes close. Don't ever hurt her again Spock or I will hurt you. Understand?"
Spock nodded his agreement.
"That has been my goal since my return. I never thanked you, Jim. For taking care of her, of them. They are whole because you cared for them. Thank you"
"You're welcome. Don't leave them again, Spock. Ever. You might not get them back."
Empties were removed from the table. Each man sat before the last container of his preferred anesthetic.
"I envy you. Grayson loves you deeply, Jim."
Guilt moved through Kirk as he stared at the empty glass.
"He loves you too, Spock."
"He does and we have a bond. His bond to you lies deeper within him."
"Are you sure mine is stronger?"
"Hours before Nyota went into labor, he threw a tantrum. I believe his patience with all the attention paid to the twins and to Rav had reached its limits. Near as she was to delivering, Nyota could not shield fast enough to hide his desire to live with you."
That's my desire too, Spock. His thought was safe; Spock couldn't read him.
"It's been pretty hectic around your place. Kids say things they don't mean. He'll cool off."
"It would be more unusual if he did NOT want to live with his Daddy."
He'd underestimated Spock. Spock knew. Swirling the drops of chocolate in his cup, Spock made a well considered proposal.
"Uncle Jim no longer suits you. Not with Grayson. It has never suited your role in his life. You earned the privilege to be called Daddy long ago. Acknowledging the truth of your relationship will remove the conflict in Grayson's mind. You will be Daddy everywhere, not in secret nor only in his or Nyota's minds. It will also remove Nyota's need to shield every conversation they have in my presence about you."
Chocolate circled the cup many more times before Spock spoke again.
"You were there when I was not. Grayson knows much about that time and suspects more. One day he will have the maturity to understand my choice. For right now he needs to be honest in his love for both of us. I will not burden him with the need to hide his feelings. I know the damage that can do."
"I love him. You know that." Kirk told him, watching Spock watch the cup.
"As do I. As does his mother... Most days."
That garnered an honest laugh from Kirk as liquid flowed into their cups. Spock sipped the dark liquid and cleared his throat as it warmed his insides. Making sure he had Kirk's attention despite the bourbon, he continued.
"Were something to happen to me... again... it is good to know that my children would have someone to love them and take care of them. That she would not be alone. She would be loved as she deserves"
He'd have to cross check with Uhura before this subject same up with Grayson. The time approached when the air would require clearing.
"I wouldn't let them forget you Spock. I promise you that. If it ever happens, I'll take care of them all."
They continued drinking silently.
"You would not try to accelerate my... absence, would you Jim?"
The shock on Kirk's face was worth what it took from Spock to remain impassive. A rising corner of Spock's mouth gave him away.
"Ok. You got me. I hope you enjoyed that."
"Immensely."
Kirk emptied the containers of bourbon and Spock's drinking chocolate for the last time.
"You planning on having more kids? 'cause it's getting a little crowded in your quarters with 4 kids in there."
"It is never my plan" Spock replied.
Kirk's surprise made no sense to Spock until his inebriated brain rethought his last words. Slowly. In order.
"I misspoke. What I meant to say is that I deferred that choice to her many years ago. Ask Nyota if you desire an answer."
Kirk's smile made too much sense. He rethought yet another sentence before slowly rewording it.
"I will ask her and let you know"
Dead pan delivery broke Kirk up again.
"Spock. Want to stay at my place tonight? It's quiet..."
The appeal of Kirk's offer spread like salvation across Spock's normally impassive face. Eyebrows knotting, he considered how angry Uhura would be if he abandoned her and their newest offspring, Rarav'kanok Tor'in, only days after his birth.
"Don't worry. They'll never miss you. There's no room left in your place for you to stay with her anyway."
Kirk read the combination of guilt and gratitude. Rising, he placed a friendly pat on Spock's shoulder.
"Come on, Baba. We're on duty tomorrow."
Each emptied his respective glass. The Mess Hall doors closed behind them.