Heya! This is my first fic for BNHA (and definitely not my last), so I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading and please tell me what you think!
Her hands shook violently in front of her, though she could barely see them. Her eyes were crusted from lost sleep and her legs were curled up beneath her, hidden out of sight. Her hair was out of her regular ponytail, and instead swept into a messy heap of disarray.
She leaned forwards, sitting on the backside of her legs while her spine was crunched in a bend shape. Her fingers rose to her face, trying to feel any presence of tears, and thankfully, there were none. Her lips trembled in relief, not wanting to go through someone finding her sprawled on the floor crying in the middle of the night.
If she looked up, she would have realized she was in the worst possible location for her situation. She was sitting in the break of the left and right wings of the fifth floor of Class 1-A's dormitories. She knew Asui was a heavy sleeper, and wouldn't wake up due to something happening outside of her room's walls. Asui's room was the only other one on the right wing of the fifth floor, so she knew she didn't have to worry about her.
The boys, though, she wasn't too sure of. Sato wouldn't wake up unless he needed something sweet to eat, but she had clearly seen him take a stash of cookies from the common room before going to bed. Sero had told everyone that he was tired from the long day of school activities, so she doubted he would wake up.
Todoroki was unpredictable. He had gone through the day practically not saying a word, but when she glanced at him during training, she definitely saw him communicating with Midoriya, and he had said a few words to Bakugou and Uraraka as well. It wasn't just casual small-talk, though. That much was obvious.
Momo shut her eyes tightly, releasing a painful breath of air and throwing her head back. Her eyes were steadily gaining a glossy overcoat, which scared the wits out of her. It had been a while since she had properly cried, but she knew she was getting close to that point. Momo didn't usually cry for no reason, but even she could understand herself when it came to reasons regarding why this time.
She opened her eyes and glanced down at her fingertips which were beginning to get colder. Her knuckles were a ghostly pale shade of white and the palms of her hands were sweaty and close to freezing right off.
It was one of the colder days of the year, and Momo silently cursed herself for not bothering to grab a blanket when she stumbled out of her bedroom. She had simply scrambled out of her bed and ran outside and through the hallways, not bothering to see where exactly she was going. She didn't remember going down any stairs, so it was guaranteed she was still on the fifth floor.
Thankfully, her room was on the highest level. No one ever came up this high in the building, save for Aizawa and on occasion even All Might when they did their rounds to check in on the students.
"Yaoyorozu?"
Momo's head shot up upon hearing the familiar voice, and when she did, stray tears finally left her eyes, dropping onto the floor and adorning the glossy tiles. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise when she turned to look at the owner of the voice.
Shouto Todoroki was standing in stupor in front of her, a shiny steel water bottle held in his left hand. He was wearing an off-white pair of pajamas that were perfectly placed on his body. There were no crinkles, and the set looked freshly ironed even as it was. His lips were slightly parted and his eyes were wide. He was standing painfully still, which Momo noticed with ease.
She quickly scrambled in her place on the floor, turning till her entire body was facing him. She had to admit though, she was in a very awkward position. She was bent over, sitting on her legs that were tucked underneath her. Tears had officially left her eyes by this point, but their flow was stopped momentarily.
"T-Todoroki-san!" she exclaimed, her teeth chattering from the cold atmosphere. "Why are you…" She stopped talking, her voice trailing off into nothing.
Todoroki didn't seem to be listening to her, but that was expected from someone like him. Her heart started beating faster as he suddenly took a step forwards, before he bent down in a robotic fashion. He placed his hands on his knees and stared at her for a few seconds.
"Are you cold?" he asked. Momo gazed at him unexpectedly, not knowing exactly how to reply to that. Yes, she was most definitely cold, and yes, Todoroki could probably help her out with that, but did she really want to bother him?
"Uh… a bit," she decided on saying, reaching her hand up to wipe at her cheeks, efficiently taking away the wetness drenching them away.
Todoroki nodded, raising his left hand and resting it atop her head. Momo remained completely quiet as he concentrated his quirk on the very tips of his fingertips, till a soft, warm rush erupted throughout her body.
Having never experienced his power in this way, Momo's eyes fluttered to a close as she enveloped the feeling happily. For the first time in hours, she felt content with herself, and was more than willing to simply sit there and relish in the moment.
When he finally pulled away, Momo opened her eyes again, making accidental eye contact with the boy before they both quickly looked away.
"Th-thank you," she said, but this time her stutters weren't because of the cold. Todoroki nodded again in acknowledgement, and seemed to linger for a few seconds, staring down at Momo's helpless figure on the floor. She knew he desperately wanted to ask her why she was like this, but wasn't sure if it was the right time, or if she wanted to tell him.
She heard him take a deep breath, before he started speaking. She was looking down at the floor, so she couldn't see his face, but something told her he was frowning.
"Yaoyorozu, would you like to talk?" he asked in his usual soft, yet hard demeanor. "Not about… this," he quickly added, "we could talk about how today was, if you'd like."
Momo sniffed softly and nodded, moving so she was sitting on her bottom and her hands were curled around her knees. Todoroki leaned back so he too could get comfortable in their place on the floor, opting to sit with his legged crossed in front of him and his hands in his lap. He turned to look at her, offering her a small smile.
They stayed silent for a few seconds, and then he started talking.
"Drills were cool today, didn't you think?" he said, offering her one of his soft smiles. Momo's eyes darted up to meet his, a shiver running down her spine while doing so.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah they were," she replied, clearing her throat and wiping her cheeks again, looking for any signs of tears. Unfortunately, there were none, so this act looked quite dumb in her opinion. "You… you did well with Midoriya-san, Todoroki-san."
Todoroki nodded stiffly, and Momo suddenly realized what he was trying to do. He could tell she didn't want to talk about what was making her so broken like this, so he was talking to her about other things. He was distracting her.
It was working.
They stayed silent for a few more seconds.
"Is… is everything okay?" Todoroki asked, shooting her a hopeful look. Momo faltered. Clearly small talk wasn't working for them, and he seemed to realize that fact as well.
She had two options in that moment. One, she could tell him exactly what was happening and hope he would understand, or two, she could lie and say she was okay.
She meant to chose the latter, but words just stumbled out of her mouth without her realizing.
"Do you ever just feel… dead?" she started, catching Todoroki's eye. Todoroki stared at her with interest, silently gesturing for her to continue. Momo gulped. "Like, something just keeps building up inside of you for days which turns to months which turns to years. And you can't do anything about it because you're not even sure what it is yourself. There's just this feeling in the pit of your stomach at all times but you just don't know what it is, but you want to know, but you just can't. No one around you seems to notice, let alone the people you actually want to notice you. But you just know they'll never really notice you because everything you've ever done for them has just gone wrong in one way or another. You don't want to bother anyone with your stupid feelings and insecurities because, like I said, they're stupid. But that doesn't stop you from thinking about them every single night till one day you just break and everything just hits you at full speed-"
"And when it finally does hit you you're not sure whether or not you have the right to be feeling the way you are," Todoroki suddenly cut in, surprising Momo as she admittedly almost forgot he was even listening. "You don't know what to do. Is that right?"
She nodded in a smaller fashion than before. "And those people who you want to notice you-"
"Are your parents."
For the first time, Momo felt like someone understood her. Like everyone she had met before meant nothing to her. Todoroki wasn't laughing at her. He didn't seem annoyed that she was taking everything out on him. He was listening to her.
Momo wasn't used to this.
She was a natural born leader, or at least, that's what everyone else told her. They told her she was the smartest in the class. What they didn't realize though was that anyone could open a textbook and memorize a few paragraphs. Studying wasn't a talent. It was a requirement for any student. It wasn't her fault that some people chose not to study for tests and quizzes.
Her fighting abilities were just her quirk. She couldn't help having a powerful one. She didn't choose creation. It was given to her at birth, thanks to her parents.
Her parents. The rich family that was able to give her everything she wanted, whatever it may be.
Everything except one thing.
"Endeavor was- he still is- a horrible father," Todoroki said, looking somewhere off to the side wistfully. "There's a reason I refused to use my left till just recently. Some people just don't understand."
"People don't… they don't understand anything about me either," Momo added in quickly. "I mean, they don't understand the important things, anyway."
He nodded. "I… I know." His eyes widened ever so slightly. "They all think I'm just a powerful individual who's a total daddy's boy. They just don't get it." He stopped to look at Momo again. "I don't usually let it get to me, though. There's not really any-"
"How?" Momo cut in, giving him a pathetic look. "How does it not just eat your insides out? How can you be so casual about it?"
Todoroki blinked. "... Yaoyorozu?"
"All the negative attention you get from your dad… why doesn't it affect you the same way it affects me?" Momo asked, tilting her head forward in a desperate way. She was so determined to get answers from someone, she knew she would go way too far in order to get them. She knew Todoroki had a similar problem to hers, but she never imagined that one day she would be talking to him about it. These thoughts burned the back of her throat and made her itch in anticipation.
"E-everyone has different…"
"No, Todoroki-san, I want to know what you've done to help yourself get better. You're going through something similar to me and I just… I feel so deplorable and poignant. I want to make it all stop, but I just don't know how."
Todoroki was silent, seemingly taking the time to survey her face and looking at the dried splotches of tears decorating her peachy skin. Momo met his gaze head-on, wondering briefly if his advice, if he even were to give any, was going to be dependable or not. She swallowed a lump of saliva that had been building up for a few minutes, sighing in relief upon feeling the bundle of nerves calm slightly.
"My… my sister," he finally said, not breaking their eye contact. "I talked about it to my sister a few years ago and it helped me get through it."
Momo blinked. All he did was… talk? What did that even mean? He just talked to his sister about his problems and it helped him cope?
"You talked to your sister about it?" she said, her voice coming out breathy and unbelieving. "Did that… how could that even help you?" She was frantic, and not at all like her usual self. She could tell Todoroki knew that, and that was why he was being so open and patient with her.
"I… I'm sorry, but this is hard for me to talk about," he said, looking away suddenly. Momo felt a weird sensation at the loss of the connection between their eyes, but was soon okay with it when he met her gaze again. "I've never spoken about this to anyone else but her. She was the only one I was close enough with to talk to."
"Your brothers?" Momo questioned out of pure curiosity.
"My brothers weren't- they still aren't- as understanding as her," Todoroki explained, pushing his hands together and interlocking his fingers. "My sister and I were inseparable as children. I felt as if I could tell her anything and she could to me as well."
"You two were… confidants," Momo said, branching his words out to make it easier to understand for herself.
Todoroki nodded. "Yes. We were. I felt the safest with her, and she knew that. When things with my mother and father got bad… the… the only thing we had was each other."
Momo could tell that Todoroki wasn't the least bit comfortable with any of this, but for her sake, he was continuing. "I see. I don't… I don't have anyone like that. I'm an only child, but I wish I had a sibling or two."
"The best thing about having a sibling is being able to go to them when you feel bitter. I was always feeling bitter. It was just like that. Before my sister and I got closer, I used to go to my mother, but when she was hospitalized, I turned to the next closest female person to me."
"Is it… hard for you to talk to males?" Momo asked.
"No, I wouldn't say that, but my two brothers were already caught up within themselves, and my father was… well, you know how he is."
"I do," Momo nodded.
"Mmm," Todoroki muttered, taking another few seconds to recollect his thoughts. "By talking to my sister, I was able to let everything out. I was able to vent, of sorts."
He stopped talking, turning to look at her. Momo was staring at the ground, Todoroki's words swirling throughout her head as she tried to make sense of them.
"So you think… talking works?" she asked, looking up to meet him in another intense round of eye contact.
"I think talking is the best option for anyone going through something like we are," Todoroki nodded.
Momo bit her lip, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "I… it's just that… I don't have anyone like that," she said, her voice lowering to a whisper. "I don't have someone who I can talk freely to without worrying about silly controversial little things, like if it's okay for me to be feeling the way I am."
"You're entitled to think for yourself. That decision is yours and only yours," Todoroki cut in, before gesturing for her to continue.
"Yes, I suppose, but it still happens, you know?" She stopped for him to nod. "In order to be able to talk about something like my feelings, I need someone who understands me. You and your sister were going through the same thing, so it was okay for you to confide in each other. Me, on the other hand… I don't have anyone like that."
"You have me."
He said it so easily, so casually, Momo had to blink twice. She trailed her eyes all over the boy sitting in front of her's face, waiting for a moment when he would say something stupid like 'Nevermind', or 'Just kidding'. Though she had to admit, the chances of someone such as him saying anything even remotely close to that were awfully slim.
"E-excuse me?" Momo said, the tips of her ears turning a bright shade of maroon.
"I've been going through a similar feeling of depression," Todoroki continued as if it were nothing. "I can understand where you're coming from. I don't mind listening to you, if that's what you want to do from now on."
"You… you're willing to listen to me?" Momo asked in disbelief.
"Whenever you'd like," Todoroki nodded, a small smile gracing his lips. Momo coughed in held back surprise, not at all expecting him to offer her something so… intimate.
"I… thank you, Todoroki-san," she said, closing her eyes and bowing her head slightly out of respect.
She heard him falter for a second.
"C-call me… Shouto," he said, which made her dart up to look at him. Her jaw dropped and her entire face exploded in a dark shade of red. Todoroki was in a similar state, clearly not used to something like this. Momo knew he never told anyone that they could call him by his first name, so this was a huge step up.
"I-I see," Momo nodded, gulping. "Can I at least put the '-san' after it?"
"If it makes you more comfortable."
Momo nodded again. "It does. Y-you can call me Momo too, if you would like."
He stared at her. "I very much would," he said, "Momo."
"Sh-Shouto-san," she started softly, "you really don't have to do this. Listen to me, that is."
"It will help you," Todoroki- no, Shouto, said, gazing at her intensely. "I really don't mind helping you out. You helped me tonight, a lot. I'm sure you won't mind if I also tell you about some things during our talks?"
"I… I helped you?" she asked, looking almost stricken.
"Of course. I opened up to someone else about this," Shouto told her, a primitive look etched on his face. "Momo, I would be more than happy to do anything if it makes you feel more comfortable with yourself."
Momo stopped, taking another short moment to run her eyes over his hunched figure, sitting in front of her and waiting for her reply.
"Okay."
…
After that night, Momo and Shouto gradually fell into a routine. On a particularly hectic day at school, they wouldn't talk after hours. That was the only exception, though. Otherwise, they would meet regularly on Tuesday's, Thursday's, Friday's, and Sunday's. Sometimes it would even extend to Saturday's, but Aizawa and All Might usually kept training on Saturday's and Monday's. Wednesday's were free, so they usually spoke during the day anyway.
Momo was more than grateful for all Shouto was doing for her. Their talks were extremely helpful to her condition and were slowly helping her get over everything she was going through. Her thoughts were slowly becoming less clouded and her heart was beginning to open up to the thought of new possibilities and challenges for her hero work and school.
They usually met in the same place as the first night. Right in between the right and left wings, every night from eleven to one, which gave them two hours to get everything off of their chests.
When she cried, Shouto would hold her. When he cried, which was not very often, Momo wouldn't hesitate to give him hug after hug, knowing exactly how he felt. They had a mutual understanding, and a mutual connection.
Their classmates slowly began to notice the change in their relationship, and despite endless teasing, the two never really seemed to let it get to their heads. Save Momo, though, sometimes she would have to excuse herself as their playful banter reminded her slightly of her previous doubts and hopeless thoughts.
It wasn't all just angsty discussions, though. The two of them also had shared plenty of heartfelt laughs and jokes during their nighttime talks, as they found themselves growing closer and closer. The two developed a friendship and a bond that only they truly understood, though both Shouto and Momo didn't quite know how to describe their complicated relationship.
But for now, Momo was satisfied with how things were going. Her room felt hot and humid as she laid in her bed, looking up at the ceiling and drawing blank thoughts.
It was almost time to go meet Shouto at their spot in the middle of the left and right wings. She felt a weird sensation bubbling at the back of her throat, knowing very well how badly she wanted to go see him.
She glanced at the clock, which read ten-fifty. Ignoring her doubts and small insecurities, she hoisted herself out of bed and made her way to the door, glancing behind her once before exiting and walking to the backside of the fifth floor.
Her eyes widened when she saw that Shouto was already there, two cups of coffee in his hand and his back straight as he waited patiently for her arrival. He wasn't facing her, so he couldn't see her surprised expression as she sat down next to him.
He jolted slightly, before smiling warmly. It was a smile she had only seen him give her, but she wasn't sure exactly how to take it. He offered her one of the mugs, which she took gratefully, softly gasping upon feeling the still-hot surface of the cup.
She looked up at him, returning his smile with her own hefty grin, and they sat there.
They had the next two hours to themselves. Two hours where they could joke around, vent, cry, laugh, or just sit in silence. Two hours where Momo was free to be herself. Two hours where Shouto could let himself out as much as he wanted. Two hours, four days a week, for as long as they saw fit.
