A/N: Ok this was supposed to be a one shot but got too long (for me), so it's going to be 2 maybe 3 parts, we will see how it goes.
I had been thinking about doing a Halloween one shot and was going to do one where Hadley died in child birth leaving Sookie to raise Hunter. No Hadley=no Queen involvement=no Bill…Years later Sookie takes Hunter trick or treating in Shreveport and who do they run into…Well you get the picture…
But then I ate one too many (read at least 5 too many) fun sized candy bars, and this is the story you get instead:
SPOV
"The diet starts tomorrow." I grumbled to myself after I stuff what must have been the 20th 'fun sized' candy bar of the night into my mouth.
The problem was the diet always started tomorrow. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow; as Shakespeare would say. But the diet never started today, and therefore never was accomplished. As I looked at the 1/2 eaten bag of candy in front of me on the coffee table I was honest enough with myself to know that tomorrow would probably see me finishing off the bag instead of starting that fabled diet I was always promising.
Why did I have to buy the big bag of Halloween candy from Walmart? I lamented. Isolated as I am out here, I never even get one trick-or-treater. I should have bought fruit instead. Fruit is sweet, but it's at least somewhat good for me.
I have always been somewhat on the chubby side but after my Gran died three years ago I couldn't seem to control my eating, it doesn't help that most of my meals come from the diner that I work at. Not the healthiest of choices, but I can't motivate myself to cook just for one. I hadn't stepped on a scale in a while but I guessed I was at least 70 lbs. over weight.
I sigh and pick up another piece of candy.
You would think being a telepath would make you want to stay fit considering you can hear everyone's thoughts on your appearance. But it has had the opposite effect unfortunately. Their negative thoughts about me upset me which leads to me 'eating my feelings,' as all the psychobabble calls it these days. That in turns leads to me gaining more weight, and causing more negative thoughts…rinse-repeat. If I could just break out of this terrible cycle.
And don't even get me started on exercise. I can never find the motivation to get up off my butt when I am home. So besides general house work and the walking I do as a waitress I pretty much lead a sedentary life style.
But seriously I hate running.
I don't know how anybody claims to like it. I think that they are all just lying.
I turn my attention back to the TV just in time to see some hooky vampire saying 'I vant to suck your blood.' Yeah this movie was definitely made pre-revelation. I wanted to watch a Halloween movie tonight but this is just too campy.
Switching the channel I see Tyson Degrasse speaking about the real vampires. I thought he was an astrophysicist? Oh well, I loved his show on the universe, so I decide it's as good a thing as any to watch on Halloween.
"So we all know Vampires are incredibly fast and strong. How much faster and stronger are they then humans, well there is no one answer to that question."
Wow this could actually be interesting. I have been curious about vampires ever since they came out of the coffin, so to speak. Just knowing that there are others out there that aren't 'normal' makes me feel like less of a freak.
"You see within every species there is variation." He continues. "Let's say the average human can run an 8 minute mile. But the world record holder for the mile ran it in 3 minutes and 44 seconds. That is less than half the average human speed. But that, the fastest mile that a human can conceive of running would seem like a snail's pace for a vampire. And how does a human improve their mile time. Well that takes countless hours of hard work. But to a vampire these things have no effect. A vampire is either fast or slow, comparatively to other vampires that is. But the strange thing is, although training has no effect on a vampire's strength or speed, there is one sure fired way for a vampire to get faster and stronger, and they are doing it every moment of every day, or should I say night. That is right; vampire's strength, speed, and endurance are all contingent on two factors; personal aptitude, and the length of their undead life. Think about that. Not only have they beat the system as far as physical aging is concerned, but they actually get stronger as they get older. Talk about getting better with age. And just how fast are the vampires. Well no one really knows for sure. They don't have PE with a mandatory mile run, there are no Olympics for them to show off their abilities, in fact often times they like to keep their strengths and weakness pretty close to the vest. But I spoke to one representative in the Vampire community that said there has never been a vampire, newborn (which is what they call their recently made vampires) or otherwise that could not exceed 40 miles per hour. And that folks is about two and a half times the speed of the fastest human to ever run. Just imagine how quick a vampire that has been walking the earth for thousands of years must be."
With that they break for commercial. I was hooked. This was so interesting. I got up to use the bathroom so I wouldn't have to miss any of the actual show, and lucked out that it came on right as I was getting settled back in.
"Ok so it has been well documented that vampires are stronger/faster than humans, but what about all of the other extras that vampires are rumored to have. Since before they were even out of the coffin legends of vampires were steeped in folklore and every culture seemed to have a slightly different version of how they lived and what they could do. Even just in Hollywood there have been versions that have vampires able to turn into other animals, some that can fly, some can hypnotize their victims, whereas in others they are just extremely charismatic. One of the most recent pre-revelation stories had vampires that didn't 'die for the day' but instead were merely sparkly in sunlight. For those of you that are unfortunate enough to have seen the YouTube clip posted by an anti-vampire hate group of a vampire 'meeting the sun' as they call it, then you know that vampires do not sparkle. They sizzle, and burn, and finally implode, and it is truly a traumatic thing to witness. But we will get to their vulnerabilities later. The first bonus I would like to tell you about is what they call 'glamour.' Glamour that's a catchy name don't you think. It sounds like a name of a disco club in the 80's. In actuality, glamour is the ability of a vampire to hypnotize humans at will. It works a good deal like standard hypnotism in the person who is being glamoured; this person is opened to any suggestion that the influencer suggests while they are under. Where it deviates from standard hypnotism is that it requires no participation from the human save making eye contact with the vampire, and every human in susceptible. As you can probably guess this has been a major tool in keeping vampires merely a myth for thousands of years. If a human saw something out of the ordinary their memories would simply be altered to forget the undesirable piece of information. Now that they are out in the open this trait will have less implications for their survival as a species but could have new, far reaching, benefits for the human population. Imagine a drug rehabilitation center that employs a vampire counselor. The vampire could work with the therapist to, in a very short duration, break the habit of drug addiction. Maybe instill other healthier coping mechanisms. Or pedophiles convicted of the worst crimes could be made to feel sick at the thought of molesting children. After they have served their time, society can feel a little more at ease that maybe they won't strike anymore victims. As you can probably guess the applications for this technique are endless. It is up to society and the willing vampires to find the best method to integrate things like this into the new world that includes both humans and vampires."
Again they stopped for commercials but this time I turned the TV off. My mind was reeling. Wasn't I just wishing for a way to break this endless cycle that I was in. To break my bad habits of eating junk food and sitting on my butt when I am home. Hypnotism isn't something I ever thought of before, but I know that I don't have enough money laying around to start seeing a therapist so that they could try and do that for me. And who even knows if I could be hypnotized by a human therapist, lord knows I was stubborn enough to not let my guard down enough for them to put me in a trance. But Tyson said that glamour works on all humans (even the stubborn ones). The idea now germinating in my head was to try and find a vampire to do this for me.
I didn't know any vampires, and the only person whose brain had told me they had any contact with vampires was Dawn, and she just saw them when she went to that club Fangtasia up in Shreveport.
I heard ads on the radio for weeks now about the Halloween party being thrown there. It seemed like a natural fit, and I am sure the vampire that owns the club is making bank off of all of the people that are showing up tonight. Even though I didn't really want to face that crowd, I also didn't want to put this off or lose my nerve.
Today was going to be the day! I felt like all I really needed was a push in the right direction. Just one vampire to glamour me, into starting to eat healthier, or to enjoy running, or to cut out sugar. It would be so simple, if I could just get a start, I am sure I could see it through.
Now it was only left to me to decide what you wear to a vampire club on Halloween.
EPOV
It was highly amusing to me that humans thought that coming to a vampire bar on Halloween, dressed as a vampire cliché was somehow going to garner you the attention of a vampire. It was completely ridiculous that they haven't figure out yet that if we had all dressed like that pre-revelation the humans would have figured out about our existence a long time ago.
The only thing that was keeping this night even slightly bearable, besides my child's jokes about the different patron's costumes, was the amount of money we would take in tonight alone. We were able to triple our cost of the entrance fee, and were selling specialty drinks that cost twice as much as normal. And even with that we were filled to capacity.
I suddenly felt my child's amusement spike from where she was at the door. She had stopped letting people in an hour ago, but there was still a line out front. I turned my attention the conversation that she was having, but I couldn't see the human she was having it with.
"So he said that y'all could do this thing called glamour that was like hypnotism, but it worked on anyone. And I was just wondering if all y'all can do that?" Being said by a sweet sounding, clearly southern, human woman. Great a tourist, she'll probably be asking if we sleep in coffins next.
"Yes little girl would you like me to make you quack like a duck." Was Pam's reply. I wasn't sure why Pam seemed so amused by this tourist, so I continued to keep a bead on their conversation.
"Oh no nothing like that. It's just he said you could help a drug addict break their habit…" She trailed off, clearly trying to find her words.
"You smell too sweet to be a drug addict. A boyfriend perhaps? Or maybe a girlfriend?" Aww Pam was interested then. "What a lovely blush you have." She purred.
"No, no, nothing like that…umm I was just wondering if someone would be willing," here she lowered her voice to a whisper, "to glamour me to… you know… lose weight."
I had to catch myself before I could laugh. Why didn't we think of that, we could be making a fortune? It would be tedious, and probably not worth the money in the end, but the idea had financial promise to be sure.
I could feel my child mull over what the girl had said. She was feeling equal parts sympathy and disgust.
"Why do you not do this on your own?" Which was Pam's next question. "Self-control is a sign of good character."
"I know," the girl said quietly with what sounded like a lot of emotion. "I don't know how to explain it. It's like I want to do it, and I feel like if I just could get a good start I would be ok. But I have this mental road block, and no matter how many times I say 'tomorrow is the day I change' I just can't get to do it that day. I know I am a weak person, but I was just hoping I could try this one thing. Is there anyone here that will do this? Please let me know. I don't have much extra money, but I brought $100. Tyson Degrasse made it seem like it would only take a couple minutes, I'm sure some vampire would want to make a quick buck." Ah she must have seen the PBS special that was running on vampires. I wonder if we should be anticipating more of these little visits. And although she sounded desperate, and even though she admitted to being weak, there was strength and conviction in her voice that I was impressed with.
"Little girl you should be careful about allowing a vampire access to your mind. You never know what they might make you do." I was surprised with Pam's concern for the human. It was rare that Pam cared about anything human related except Dear Abby and how to bed the nearest female.
"Maybe you're right, but I thought it was a risk I was willing to take. I want to start a new healthy life. And maybe I should be able to do it myself, but my past has proven otherwise. Giving any person power over your brain, whether they be vampire or human, is a risk. But one I am willing to take tonight." I don't know why she can't solve her own problem; she certainly has backbone enough to spare to stand up to my child.
"Master, what would you like me to do about this?" Pam asked me in old Swedish over the din of the crowd. She had obviously noticed my attention to her conversation through our bond.
"Bring her to me." Was my reply. I was highly intrigued at this mystery human, who seemed weak and strong at the same time.
SPOV
"Come with me little human girl." The door vampire said. I found it funny she kept on calling me 'little' since I can't even remember the last time someone used that adjective in reference to me. But dutifully I followed the blonde goddess into the club.
When I first arrived I wasn't even going to approach her. Not because she was thin and the most beautiful person I had ever seen in real life, but simply because I couldn't 'hear' her. That, my telepathy, was going to be my ace in the hole for this whole thing. I was going to come here, feel out a few vampires. I would be able to 'hear' their intensions with me, and if they were honorable then I would allow them to glamour me and happily pay them the $100 I brought for this enterprise.
But I quickly realized that not only was her mind a sort of void, but there were several other voids in the club, but none in line. Leading me to gather that I would not be able to read a vampire's mind at all.
But I had already dressed up (50's housewife, with one of my sun dresses and a frilly apron and a pair of Mary Jane's), and I had used all that gas getting out here, and more importantly I couldn't imagine going back tomorrow being the same old Sookie I have been for the last three years.
It was a risk… A huge one… But one I had to take.
The club was packed. I was trying to shield the best I could but it was too hard with all of these people around me. Everyone was thinking the same general thing, sex and blood.
Not only that but everyone was dressed the same too, or at least along the same theme. I felt out of place.
"Was this a vampire costume party?" I tried asking the blonde I was following. But I heard a bark of laughter from further in the club and my eyes drifted to the most gorgeous being I had ever seen. He put even the beautiful vampire I was following to shame.
EPOV
When Pam entered the club with the mysterious woman I was surprised at what a breath of fresh air she was. She was wearing a white dress and apron. The apron had red flowers on it. She had on pearls and heels. She was clearly going for some kind of housewife of bygone years, but the contrast of her wholesome look and the black leather clad vermin (Pam's term) that populated my club regularly was too great to ignore.
Sure she was overweight. In this society that worships thin as the ultimate in beauty, her size alone would regulate her to the label of 'ugly.' Even by my culture's standards her size would not have been the standard of beauty, but with her radiant smile and clear blue eyes, there would have been many men vying for her attention in my day.
Then she asked about the other party goers and their lack of originality in choosing a costume, and I couldn't keep the laugh from erupting from my lips. All of the vampires in the room, and many of the regulars turned to gape at me. I am sure I have never laughed in front of anybody save my child in this room before. But gods help me that was hilarious.
My laugh also caught the attention of the mysterious housewife, and I noticed her appreciating gaze. This was nothing new, and usually unwelcome, but for some reason I was glad this woman found me attractive.
"Master." Pam gave me a nod as she reached my dais.
"Pamela, what have you brought me?" I gave my short nod in response.
"This girl is interested in our weight loss package."
Said girl blush violently at this comment, but otherwise stayed respectfully quiet.
"Well," I said addressing her directly for the first time, "aren't you sweet."
"Not really." Was her biting response. That threatened to make me laugh for a second time.
"Hmmm" I said and took a sample of the air. Low and behold, she really was sweet. My eyes flashed to Pam, now I understand how this girl caught my child's attention at first. Her scent was one of the best I had ever smelled.
I saw Pam's lips twitched slightly as she was amused at my reaction to this girls scent.
"And you would like my help glamouring you to eat less." I continued.
"And workout more if you would please." She said. Her manners matched her costume.
"And for this you will give me?"
"I have $100." I saw a few of my less wealthy vampires from my area's ears perk up with that. They had all been paying attention to our conversation, since she had obviously interested me. Vampires are no different than people always looking for the biggest piece of gossip, and gossip about me was the juiciest kind around here.
"Maybe I want something money can't buy." I said making my leer lascivious on purpose, just to see how she would react.
Her blush didn't disappoint, but she also managed to look indignant.
"Listen buddy that is not going to happen, so you can just hold it right there."
This human was the most amusing human I had encountered in years. Not only does she come to a vampire bar dressed like a housewife, asking for weight loss glamour, but then she rejects my advances. Advances any of these other woman would sell out their own mothers for.
"You wouldn't give up a pint of your blood, in order to be skinny forever." I took the leer out of my face and replaced it with a faux innocent look.
"Well," she shifted a bit uncomfortable on her feet, clearly I had caught her off guard, "Well, maybe. But just blood, no funny business right? And I don't want to look like a tooth pick, just a health weight. Can you do that? Can you be that specific? And I don't want to starve myself to get there. I just want healthy habits, you know, eating right, more exercise."
I was impressed. Even if this was the epitome of cheating the system, she still didn't want a quick fix.
"Follow me to my office." I said and started walking back.
SPOV
Part of me wishes I had taken him up on his original offer. I mean he looked like a God, and I couldn't believe that he would be interested in doing that with me. But I am no prostitute, and was not about to sell my pride even if the buyer was sexy as sin.
When we got to his office and he pulled the door closed I blurted out, "Is this going to hurt?" I had never contemplated being a 'blood donor' to a vampire before, so I hadn't looked up if this was painful or not.
"Not the way I do it." Vampire guy purred at me.
"So, I forgot to ask what your name is, and since you're about to bite me, I'd kind of like to know." I was nervous and I was starting to ramble.
"Relax, you're in good hands, I am over a thousand years old, it has been a long while since I have caused someone pain when I did not mean to. And you human girl amuse me. My name is Eric Northman, and I own this club. Now what is your name so we can get this transaction started?"
"Sookie, Sookie Stackhouse."
"Ok, Sookie, Sookie Stackhouse. I would prefer to take your blood from your carotid artery. Do you know which one that is?"
I shook my head yes.
"I would be willing to take from your radial artery, which is in your wrist."
"No my neck is fine." I said. Willing to give him that much since he was hopefully going to give me a start at a whole new life.
"Are you sure you want to be glamoured. You are very pretty even with the extra weight." He said bluntly causing me to blush. It wasn't that he said I had extra weight. I knew that, it's why I was here. But if he was blunt about the weight then it made me think he was genuine about calling me pretty, and that I wasn't used to. I almost wished I could read his mind at that moment to find out if he was being truthful.
I may not have been willing to sell my body in order to get the body I wanted, but I would definitely entertain the idea of getting physical with Eric just for the sake of getting those experiences I have always been denied.
"Please." I beseeched him. I wanted this so bad I could taste it.
He stepped closer to me and lowered his head to the junction between my neck and my shoulder.
"This is better for all if I prepare you a little." He murmured in a sexy grumbling voice.
I had no more words at this point so I just nodded.
He started 'preparing' my neck but it was literally the most action I have ever seen. Between my curse and my weight, I had never been on a date, and never even kissed a boy.
I was afraid I was going to start moaning, what he was doing was so good. Desperately I cast my telepathy out, hoping for a distraction from what he was doing to me so that I didn't embarrass myself, what I heard put an immediate halt to my good feelings.
"Eric stop." I practically yelled, but I was trying to get myself calmed down as well as stopping what Eric was doing.
He groaned as he stopped and looked me in the eyes.
"Did you change your mind?" He queried.
I took a deep breath to get myself together.
"The woman, the lady vampire from the door."
"Pam." He supplied.
"Yeah, Pam." I remember him saying her name now. "Someone out there is trying to take her. They want to drain her for her blood." I was crying by now, thinking how cruel the world could be to people they deemed as different.
"How do you know this?" He had me pinned to the wall with his forearm to my neck before I could even register we were moving.
"I…" I debated telling him, but he would probably kill me if I didn't give him a plausible reason why I would know this. "I'm a telepath." I stated shakily.
"What am I thinking then?"
"That you don't believe me. But it's the truth, only I can't hear vampires for some reason. The woman Pam's with is pretending to be interested. But she has a tracking device on her and her friends are going to follow them to the next location. Test me on any human in the bar if you need to, just get Pam away from that woman." I begged. He had let me go, but was still looming over me.
"You better not be plotting with anyone wishing to harm my child, otherwise your life will be forfeit." He said in a highly menacing manner. Then he seemed to stare into space for a few seconds and then there was a knock on the door.
The person didn't wait to be told to come in and I wasn't surprised to see it was Pam.
EPOV
"This human says she is a telepath of other humans, and the woman you were with was a scout for a drainer team with a tracking device. Pick a random human from the bar and tell them a random phrase and bring them back to test her." I said to my progeny (in ancient Swedish) with thinly masked anger. Either, this human was playing a game with me, or someone was trying to harm my child, either option leaves me seething.
Pam looked abashed. "I will do just that. Thank you for looking after my safety Master." She answered in the same language.
I stayed silent while Pam was gone. Sookie was obviously scared but I wasn't sure if it was because she had something to do with the drainers, or if my death threat unnerved her. Either way there was nothing to say until I got to the bottom of this.
Pam led a short white male into the office.
Sookie said in a weak voice, "A circumference is round but the earth is flat, so says the king."
I glanced to Pamela who nods her head. Sookie is a telepath!
I walked to the door and called for Thalia, she was at the door in a second.
"Pam found a scout for a drainer team." Thalia flashed fang to the humans in the room assuming they were the guilty party. "No not them. Pam will show you who. She will play the sitting duck, and you will follow, and you will destroy those that come to harm my child." I am practically vibrating with vengeful energy by the time I am done with my speech, but she knows the loyalty I have to my child, so she is not fazed by it.
"And I thought I would only get tricks, no treats this Halloween." She purrs in ancient Greek that no one but me knows around here. "You spoil me Sheriff."
Both of the other vampires leave to take their parts in the farce. I have no doubt between the two of them the drainer cell is no match. But it still takes me a few minutes to rain in my emotions as I contemplate what would have happened if someone had managed to get the drop on my Pam.
SPOV
"Come, we will go to one of my houses." He says when he finally is in enough control of himself to speak.
"I'm sorry no. You just threatened my life, I am not going anywhere with you." I hope I actually have a choice in the matter.
He sighs and gives me a look of long suffering.
"On this night you may have saved my child's life. You have proven yourself brave, intelligent, and most important a friend to me. You have nothing to fear from me ever as long as you remain loyal. I hope that my child would have been able to defend herself against whatever attack they would have mounted, but a surprise attack can topple the greatest of warriors, and I am grateful that her valor was not tested tonight." His speech has slipped into something not of this time era, showing how shaken he was by the whole ordeal.
"I couldn't just let them kill her." I explain, even though I don't need to explain myself to him.
"Thank you." He says earnestly looking me directly in my eyes. "Will you come? Pam will meet us when it is over and I am sure she will want to thank you as well. Plus we can do your glamour, although I no longer require your blood as payment."
I nod. "Should I follow you in my car?"
"No, I will drive. I will need to take some back roads as precautions against more people trying to follow us."
I couldn't help but giggle at that. At the raised eyebrow (How was that so sexy) I told him, "Telepath remember. I will be able to hear if someone is trying to follow us. Unless they put a tracking device on your car, in which case it's useless to try and loose them anyways."
He looked at me very seriously, like he was trying to pull me apart with his eyes just so he could get a look on the inside and figure out just exactly how I worked. It was a little unnerving to be scrutinized in that way.
"Ok," He said finally, "no risks tonight, we will fly."
"FLY." I screeched. When he gave me the eyebrow again I sheepishly said, "I didn't get that far into the show."
For some reason that set Eric off, and his boisterous laugh filled the room.
"You are a strange human, Sookie, Sookie Stackhouse. But I am glad to know you."