Well, here's this thing. Crappy, I know, but hey why not publish it. Please review and all that. I'm sorry, I've only just joined this site, and I'm still getting used to it
. First fic in this fandom, so please forgive Nico's OOC-ness. And please, if any of you have ever felt this way, talk to someone you trust or call the help line or email me, 'cause I love all of you! My email is phantomrebec , and I would love to hear from anyone! It might take me a while to answer, because I don't have access to internet all the time, but still, shoot me a message or anything. It's worth living I promise. Just please, love yourself. Also published on AO3 and Wattpad soon.
"Nico...?" You swung the door to cabin 13 inward, calling out to your absentee friend. "Nico I didn't see you at lunch and you didn't answer your door when I knocked so I thought I'd come in and make sure you were oka-" You ceased rambling when you caught sight of the human-shaped blob under dark blankets. Sitting down, you slowly tried to pull the fabric away.
"Nico..?" You met resistance, and saw his fingers wrap wround the edges, holding his cover in place.
"Mm..." he mumbled.
"Nico come on, come out and talk."
"Mm!"
You sighed, then lifted the end of the blanket, uncovering his pale form feet-first. He tried to hide again, but you snatched his cloth sheild away. You saw the purple bags under his bloodshot eyes first, then the tear stains and water still pooling in brown depths. He rolled over, stuffing his face into the pillow, sobbing so softly that at first you didn't even realize.
"Oh, no, what happened? What is it, honey please tell me, come on." you leaned over him, pulling at his hands until he uncovered his face. He paused for a moment, then sobbed again, harder, and buried his face in your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him, letting go of his wrists, stroking his hair and back. "Oh, my dear Nico, what's the matter?"
Pale olive-toned arms held you for dear life, and your sleeve was soaked through, but that didnt matter. All you cared about was your friend was hurt, and you wanted to help in any way possible.
"nnon lffs bee." he almost whisered to your skin.
"What was that?"
"I said NO ONE LOVES ME!" he cried out, pulling back a little then melting into your embrace. You were startled at the volume to say the least, but recovered quickly. He continued.
"No one cares. If I died, no one would even notice! I only cause problems, all I do is burden the people I love, it would be better if I was dead! It wouldn't matter, none of it matters, this is all pointless...it hurts so much..." His voice dropped so low at the end that your ears strained. Tears threatened at the corners of your eyes.
"Oh, gods, Nico, my precious precious friend, that isn't true, none of it is true, I swear it." You planted soft kisses on his forehead and black fluffy hair, cuddling him close.
"It is true, and I know it! I should just kill myself, that wwwould chchange everyth...ing...hic!" He cried so hard that speaking was difficult, and your heart wept for him.
"No, Nico, please, you shouldn't-" You got distracted by a hot fluid touching your arm, and when you looked down, there was a bright patch of red staining your Camp Half Blood shirt. But where was it coming from? Oh, no...
You pulled down the sleeve of Nico's jacket, and what you saw made your chest ache. There were dark red lines on pale smooth skin, some faded to silvery scars, some bright and new and deeper than before, crying blood even as Nico wept into your shouder.
"Nico...you...you cut?" Before he could even give an answer, you pushed his head closer, wraping him tightly in your arms, silent tears falling into his black locks from your eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, my beautiful friend, im so sorry. You are beautiful, and kind, and funny, and no one would ever leave you on purpose, and you help us, you don't cause us problems. I believe in you, I care, every single one of us would notice if you died, and we would all cry our eyes out, and please Nico please please love yourself more than this! Dont leave us, please..." You started full-on crying in the middle of your speech, and he cried even more, and you pressed your foreheads together
"Nico...Nico look at me..." He met your gaze uncertainly, eyes bright red. "Nico we all love you. You are...a wonderful person, and strong, and you've had to bear so much. Please, love yourself more, there's so so much there to love..."
"Do y-...d-d-do you mmmean-nn it?" he stammered, the crying interfering wth his ability to form words.
"Yes, of course, always. I'll always be here, I swear it. Even if something should happen to either of us, I'll alway be with you because I-" You cut yourself off, almost telling him that you're in love with him. "I care for you very much. You're a dear friend of mine and I'll always be with you."
He crumpled against you, his form ragged and thin and weak, and you wanted to cry all over again.
"Come on, let's get you patched up." You took his hand, pulling softly, and he didn't resist. You took him into his bathroom, and sat him down on a stool.
"Take your jacket off for me?" you asked, and he did, shakily. You rummaged around until you found a wash cloth and some bandages in leiu of ambrosia reminding y8urself to get some later.
You cleaned his self-inflicted wounds with warm water from the tap, wincing as he hissed in pain. "I'm sorry." you repeated.
"F-f-for what? What cou-lll-d you be sorry fffor?"
"For not showing up sooner. For seeing how sad you were and not doing anything about it. For-"
"Hey. L-l-look at me." You looked into his sad, puffy brown eyes. "You cam-mme. That's-ss all that mat-tters." He put his cold hand over yours. "You...saved m-mme."
Your eyes watered again, and you gave him a hug, burying your face in his chest. Nico petted your hair until you pulled back, drying his cuts and binding them. When you pulled the last knot tight, you told him to go change his shirt, because it had blood on it. He looked down, shy for a moment. You asked him what was wrong.
"Come with me?" he inquired, so unsure and sweet that you felt your heart warm.
"Of course. Come on, dear." You led him by the hand into the main part of his cabin.
Nico let your hand go and stripped off his shirt, back facing you. You tried not to stare. He was thin, sure, and needed to eat more, clearly, but he also had hard and defined strips of muscle even on his back. He rummaged in a drawer, and apparently didn't find what he was looking for, because he turned and walked past you to a bag on another bed. You could feel your cheeks flush, biting your lip at his abs and well-toned but obviously under-nourished chest.
Nico cursed as he tossed the bag aside, returning to look under his bed. He caught you staring and smirked weakly. "Like what you see?" he grumbled, and you giggled. He finally found another shirt with skulls on it and shrugged it on. Then his dark gaze returned to you.
"Y-you have blood..." he gestured to your own shirt. That stain wasn't coming out. He dug in a drawer close to the bottom of the chest, bringing out a crumpled but clean Camp Half Blood sweater.
"Sorry..." he muttered, clearly ashamed, handing the cloth to you and turning around. You changed quickly.
"No, don't apologize..." He didn't reply. The shirt was so long that it covered your hands, and one sleeve flopped onto his shoulder as you touched him. "Really, Nico, I promise, it's nothing." No reply. You wrapped your arms around his scrawny waist, pushing your forehead between his boney shouderblades. "I'm glad I came. So very glad." You said, speaking up so he could hear, and he stiffened. Slowly, begrudgingly, he relaxed, placing an arm on top of yours. You pressed a kiss to his back, and he shivered. You snuggled closer.
After a moment, you pulled gently, and he let you lead him to his bed. You made him lay down, and asked if he wanted you to leave so he could sleep.
"Mmmn." he moaned, lifting an arm as a clear invitation for you to stay. You didn't need asking twice, and you lied close, body flush to his.
"Are you okay?" You inquired, breaking the comfortable silence.
Nico hesitated. "I'm sorry."
You almost wanted to smack him, but he was too hurt. You spoke softly, putting your chin on top of his head. "Sorry for what? What could you be sorry for? Being human?"
He shook his head, black ruffles getting even more messy. "For burdening you with this." he whispered.
You pulled him up and kissed his forehead again, swipping the curls back from it. "That's just part of being human, love. You didn't burden me. You needed care and someone to talk to and reassurance, and I'm glad that it was me here to help. I can't think of anything I'd rather have done in the whole world, Underworld, and everything else." You lightly kissed his cheeks, hairline, right below his ears, at the corners of his jaw, the tip of his nose. He sighed softly, readjusting hs hold on you, breathing steadily. You returned his head to your chest.
"I'll...help you as much as I can, okay? We can get through this together. You...you won't need to cut anymore, because...I'll be here, and you'll never be able to feel alone because I'll be everywhere you turn. You'll wish you could be alone."
You both laughed at that, and you were so very glad to see his smile again.
"Thanks." Nico mouthed to the base of your throat, and kissed it. You turned bright red, but managed to stutter out a 'I'm happy to.' in reply.
"Since you opened up to me...I guess I should open up to you." You decided to go ahead and tell him, so he would know and not find out later and think ill of you. There were so many ways it could go wrong, but..you just needed to tell him. To let him know how much he was loved.
He tilted his head to the side slightly, and furrowed his eyebrows. "What is it?"
"Well...when I said you were loved, I really meant it. Like, really really meant it. And I know it's true. You are..." You ran your fingers through the raven locks brushing your chin. "So very loved...I...I'm in love with you, you know."
He started, jumping back from you like lightning struck him. You paled.
"I'm sorry! Oh, gods, I just ruined my relationship with my best friend! Oh gods I'm sorry! I swear if you hate me now or anything, everything I said before was true, your friends all love you, and I really don't mind taking care of you, even if I wasn't IN love with you, and you've never burdened any of-"
Nico cut you off by sealing your lips wih his own, pressing softly and tentatively, but with undercurrents of relief. His arms brought you even closer to his form, and you twined your own around his neck, tears of happiness pooling in both his and your eyes. When you pulled back for air, the grin that split his lips was so genuine, so joyful and bright, you couldn't help but return his smile.
"I...never thought you could possibly return my...my love for you." he blushed, and it was so cute that you littered his cheeks with feathery kisses, and he had to claim your lips again to get you to stop. Not that you minded, of course. ;)