Chapter 1: My Baker's Gone

I wear black to match the storm clouds gathering over the Village. And also to clearly present my morning.

He was supposed to come back. He would just be in the Capitol getting therapy with Dr. Aurelius, and then he would come back. And we would... live. Maybe happily ever after. Probably not.

But now my Peeta is gone. And I have to watch as he is buried.

Haymitch and I are the only ones present as miners lower him into the ground, in the Fallen Tributes' Graveyard. A shrine will be built, since he was a Victor. I debated whether we should bury him next to his family, except their graves are unmarked in the Meadow, unlikely to be found. And Haymitch also figured that Peeta would want to be close to him.

Just before they bury Peeta, I throw my body across his, not wanting to let him go. "DON'T TOUCH HIM!"

The miners stop dead, and allow me a few minutes to cry over him, to kiss him. Haymitch finally gestures for them to come forward, and they pry Peeta away from me. I actually accept Haymitch's awkward hug as my love is laid to rest. I hope if there is a Heaven, his mind is healed.

Afterwards, I go for a walk. Most of District 12 is still being rebuilt, and very few people have returned - few former residents and even fewer refugees. There are so many better districts to migrate to. District 12 always has been and likely always will be a bit of a dump.

All at once, I bump into a body; I was so busy staring at the ground, my feet as I walked, that I didn't look where I was going. But when I glance up, I see a chiseled face and body behind a Peacekeepers' uniform. Long, flowing hair the color of fire.

And eyes as blue as a summer sky. A lot like Peeta's...

I never had many male friends in Twelve. And I never had a boyfriend until I competed in the Hunger Games and Peeta came along. But Darius was one of the few men in District 12 whom I could tolerate. He was friendly, always joking, something I don't think one could say about any other Peacekeeper.

"Sorry, Katniss, I didn't see you there!" He observes my tearstained face. "How was the funeral?"

I brush him away. "It was fine, Darius. It would have done you good to see how green the place is." I am usually not so friendly in conversation, in a emotionally-distressed time like this, I should by all rights be unable to talk. But Darius was always easy to talk to, and especially in hard times.

I continue to walk in silence, only now Darius walks with me. We pass by the bombed-out structure that was once Mellark bakery. Where Peeta and his family grew up. Seeing it, my eyes fill with tears.

"He was supposed to be your purpose, huh?" Darius asks gently.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to come home, all new and my Peeta again, or getting close to it. And then, someday, we would just say, 'To heck with it!' and have a toasting. And maybe... after that... if he really wanted babies, I would have... for him..." My voice chokes on the tears that now spill. "Now, I feel so lost."

Darius considers this, frowning in thought. "Well, maybe you just need a new purpose," he suggests.

"Like what?"

"A job is a good starters. Even you can't survive just on hunting, can you? And Haymitch needs his liquor." He turns to me. "I'm on the Reconstruction Crew for District 12. We mostly rebuild and salvage the old buildings lost in the bombings. We're working on the schoolhouse right now. Would you like to join us?"

I think for a moment. A job might be a good distraction for losing Peeta. "Sure. Thanks, Darius."