Hey all, for any who don't know, I'm Droory, and I'll be your writer for this fic. Thank you in advance for reading, and if you stop here, well... I can't do anything to stop you.
There is a story behind this story, interestingly enough. ThorHammer17's: "Tundra" and DropOfInk's: "Catharsis" were the first fics I ever read and I was inspired by their sheer awesomeness. I then began writing this intending it be a oneshot. That eventually evolved into a very long story, so you know... do be sure to go check those other two out, trust me, it's worth it. (And no, I am not being paid to advertise for them, I just respect them so much)
Anyway, this is a Sofstshipping fic, something I believe is not explored nearly enough. So, I invite you to read, hopefully enjoy, and then find the time to drop a review. anyway, I've probably bored you beyond all imagination, so onwards.
Mia awoke suddenly, panting from another nightmare. The Imilian healer usually achieved a good night's rest, but the events of earlier that day had left her scared and excited. She had finally met him, he who brought such a great confusion and dread. Her only memory of him was from then, from a year ago, when she had learned what it meant to be afraid, atop the Lighthouse of Venus' power.
She had first seen him there, atop the Lighthouse embodying all that was earth. Fear had gripped her heart, clutching down on it with all of its might to ensure that Mia knew to be afraid. She could hardly look at him. He was not much older than even she was, yet he was so… so dark. She could almost see the air around him, his aura, fo the deepest black, even more stained than the two demons who he worked with. Deep lines were carved deep into the features far too old for his youthful age, each line telling a long story of sorrow, regret, hate, and utter sadness.
His eyes though, they were what scared her beyond all else. They were like glass, barely showing any tenderness or hope in their dark sheen of deep brown. His hair blew and stuck against the dark orbs fluids, blinding others to what lay within them. No one could see the cold, impenetrable glass behind the ebony screen. She knew to be entirely afraid of that boy, if he even was any more. All she could see was a shell, an empty husk that no longer contained a soul or heart. This shell was cut from everything she knew of the world and had joined some other force, something she could never understand.
She fought, less afraid of the demon-like warriors and the horror of the dragon they fused into, with her fear still fixated on him. Then Psynergy ripped through the sky, polluting the thin air of the Aerie with earthen energies and force, attacking flesh and steel with its raw power. Then Mia saw him come back to life. She saw both his heart and his soul explode back to existence within him. They threw him to the frail girl, the girl they had come to rescue, offering him the strength to risk all for the princess of Lalivero.
Mia's sympathy went to him, along with all of her hope, as he struggled to pull the fragile girl back up to the safety of the Aerie's steel. She realised what he was capable of then. Everything she had seen in that one moment told her so much, and made her ask so much more. She was then forced to watch in disbelieving horror…
As he failed.
Everyone cringed, listening to the high-pitched scream of horror as the girl tumbled through the air. All of Mia's training showed her what would happen when the girl crashed into the earth so far below. Then there was another, a darker, primal roar of rage and disgust. Mia's eyes flashed to the man just in time to see him stare to the heavens before diving.
He dived.
Seeming to pray, the man had thrown himself from the Aerie. He threw himself after the girl, as though trying to save her from something that only he knew. She screamed for him and reached out her hand, hoping, praying, that he would be safe. She knew, against all her better hopes and prayers, that neither he nor the girl would survive. She fell to her knees, crying for him. Not crying for her friends who had witnessed their once best friend jump. Not crying for the little girl who had fallen. Not crying for his sister who would now be alone in the world. No, she cried for him, because he deserved some tears to be shed for him in the world before he died.
She had learned later that because of the combined power of the Mercury Beacon and the newly ignited Venus Beacon that all the land around the base of Venus Lighthouse had flooded briefly. She had hoped then that maybe he had been saved. She had hoped that Mercury had received her prayer and saved him. Regardless of who he was, he had been a good man once. Maybe he still was.
When she learned that he was alive she was… confused. She was joyous that he had survived, because surely that meant the girl had too. She was joyous that her prayers for him had been heard, and her tears had been honoured. She was afraid though, she was still so afraid of what she had seen atop the Aerie. Surely that meant they had to chase him, and she had to see him again and be afraid. Surely it meant they had to fight. She had been so confused.
How could someone so dark have a heart that was so good and pure? How could someone be so tormented and yet so selfless? Her curiosity flared that morning when he exchanged, perhaps not friendly but certainly not dark or threatening, words and turned her world and perception of life upside down.
She and her companions had stalked him, willing to kill, to stop him from destroying the world. Only for them to learn that it was not his efforts but theirs which would bring the end.
The amazement and fear she felt at that moment never had an outlet. Instead it built into a never-ending increasing curiosity. She sighed internally, confusion was clouding all of her mind, and nothing she knew seemed true anymore. She needed discover more. Discover who he was and, more importantly, what he was. She couldn't think him a normal Adept, no one she had ever known, Adept or not, had ever displayed the two opposing extremes of personality and held sanity.
She looked around her room and saw the two silhouettes of Jenna and Sheba still sleeping peacefully. She got out of bed, quietly to ensure that she didn't disturb her friends' dreams, and walked to the window. She opened it and felt refreshed as the cool night air passed across her. She breathed deeply, the refreshing night air flowing slowly into her lungs. She scanned the town of Contigo outside and saw a small travelling lantern held in the hands of a lone walker. She frowned and turned her gaze to the heavens, awash with glittering crystals and a brilliantly pale crescent jewel that hung above her. It bathed the ground in a heavenly glow, a beam of light that she related to a passage to the skies. The occasional lonely cloud slowly drifted past, casting its shadow on the ground.
She turned her gaze back to the earth in time to see the young walker's shadow disappear into the night. Her curiosity was now bubbling inside and she wished to discover the motive behind this walker's escape into the night. She walked silently to the trunk at the foot of her bed and grabbed her travelling cloak, tying it tightly around her. She snuck into the small bathroom, loathing the horrible creaking of the old wooden door, and quickly lit the small candle.
Mia's eyes moved over her own reflection in the candle's dappled arms of light. It struggled to hold its own against the pale blue darkness of the moon's light. Her sapphire orbs reflected this battle for light perfectly. Each change of light shone a new shafted reflection onto the surfaces of her eyes only to be changed again. Her dark pupils occasionally swallowed by, occasionally swallowing, the short streaks of varied azure and cobalt that surrounded them.
Her hair flowed from her, so akin to the element she was attuned to. The delicate tresses seemed to be like the very currents of water that one saw all through the world of Weyard. They rained around her face, perfectly controlled, enhancing her subtly beautiful features. She was a naturally beautiful young woman, even though she would never accept or agree to such comments.
Sometimes the human condition of egotism would kick in, resulting in her comparing herself to others. She hated when this happened, she never liked comparing people especially not with her, everyone was different and beautiful in their own way to her, but sadly she couldn't help it.
Was it truly a bad thing, though? To feel pride for how you look? To think you are prettier than others? To feel you are, in some way, better than others? She hated the questions. Her modesty and care for people were constantly at war with this sense of pride, attempting to keep it at bay or at least make it less vain and narcissistic. She shook her head, hoping to shake away the argument her mind was shouting in her head, and tied her cerulean hair with her white ribbon. As always she left her fringe and strands along her ear line free, a complimenting look.
She took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself, this was something she would never do, so why was she? Why was she making such a fuss over her appearance? What if she just made a fool of herself? What if it didn't work out? What if she ruined her chance? What if they could never have a healthy friendship because of what she was about to do? She took another deep breath, trying to force such fears away, it would work out. It would be like the stories she was told growing up, but this was the real world, it never works like the stories, at least not from anything she'd ever experienced. Through all her travels with Isaac, Garet and Ivan, and all their battles together, nothing she had seen related to the stories in anyway, reality's flames always seemed to scorch the delicate leaves of fantasy and hope. She took several slow deep breaths, trying to calm her mind, extinguishing the small candle as she exhaled, it would work.
She would make it work.
A curious smiling frown played around her lips as she thought of being alone with him. She quietly travelled outside, careful not to wake anyone as she did. The night air, which was so refreshing upstairs, was frigid and stung her bare arms with its cool night time breeze. She pulled her cloak closer to her and smiled up to the moon. She lifted her hand up, trying to touch it. She knew she couldn't, but she could dream.
She had heard once that when you die, a star appears in the sky for you. That had always calmed her during battles, knowing that she would always be able to see her friends if they died or that they would be able to see her. She shook her head, not wanting to think of her friends deaths. She danced slightly as she walked, watching her shadow swirl and twist in the pale moonlight. She sang under her breath as she travelled down into the fields in search of the Venus Adept. She was scared, not just from the uncertainty of what she was doing but the fear of seeing him as the cold, emotionless, dark being she remembered.
Calm controlled breath was the only noise amid the plains around him now. He calmly surveyed the surrounding area, wary of any other attackers hidden in the shadows, that last one was annoying enough. He smiled slightly as a halcyon breeze passed him, rustling the long grass and then having the night's silence return again. Fanning the flame of his lantern, he sensed the presence of another Adept. He smiled, waiting for them to reveal themselves.
"Echo." He called to his faithful Djinni.
At this the brown form of his first Venus Djinni appeared before him, "Yes, Felix?"
The elemental beings known as Djinn had always fascinated him, he could never figure out what they were entirely. Animals seemed like such a diminutive, insulting name, they were as intelligent as humans if not more so, yet that's what he had first related them too, even though they had no similarity to any animal he had seen before. Djinn varied greatly between elements, in look, mannerisms and actions, yet only very small, subtle differences existed with those of the same element. All of his Venus Djinn looked similar perhaps varying in size or shade of brown slightly, but that was it.
Echo seemed the typical. A small brown form, no taller than Felix's knee, short spikes along his back running into a tail, oval feet at the base of his body with no hint of legs, large pointed ears that twitched as he spoke, even though he lacked a mouth, and, his most obvious feature, two large glassy blue orbs of eyes which rested near the top of his body. He had since decided that Djinn were as different from animals as he was.
"Isaac," Felix said coolly, "could you feel a connection between him and his Djinn?"
Echo stood before his master silently for a moment and answered, "Master, are you afraid Isaac and his group may be more powerful and well suited than us?"
Felix smirked at the Venus Djinni, "Not entirely Echo, I know they are powerful and very able for the task before us. I simply wish to know if Isaac's stronger than me, what of his strength or his prowess with Psynergy? I need to determine whether or not he should lead and not me."
Echo's glassy blue orbs stared into Felix's eyes, "Master, you have nothing to fear, you are the stronger in both ways, although only by a small amount."
Felix smiled, "Thanks Echo, that's all I needed to know."
Felix then called upon the rest of his Djinn, "Friends relax I do not need your powers right now, I just thought it might be nice for you all to be outside."
His Djinn hopped and ran around, and he laughed slightly under his breath. He then began to glow with power and the silvery rings of Psynergy enveloped his body. A small mound of dirt, rock and mud rose from the ground and Felix shaped it to be a slightly more comfortable makeshift seat. Sighing aloud, he fell into it, he had grown weary of night after night of restlessness, leaders rarely slept well, and he wondered if Isaac sometimes suffered the same fate.
Running both hands down along his face he tried to clear his head, his eyes were heavy yet sleep seemed impossible. His hands drifted through his hair and undid the clasp that kept it in its usual neat ponytail. He tossed his head down and back up several times, it was rare that he left his hair loose, preferring to keep it from obscuring his view if attacked by monsters.
He closed his eyes and tried to remove himself from the situation, to take a step back, view everything without mental or physical distraction and try a find some way to cure the insomnia from which he so often suffered. He had done this many times before only to return empty handed. He had asked Kraden, the wizened scholar of Alchemy who travelled with them, if he knew of any remedy. Sadly Kraden could only offer a small vial of a potion which calmed the senses, something Felix did not need. Piers, the ancient Lemurian Mercury Adept, who was no doubt older than Kraden yet who appeared no older than Felix, had tried finding an old Lemurian recipe for him on-board their proud ship, but to no avail.
He sighed and resigned to the thoughts that usually occupied his lonesome nights: the thoughts of life and what was left to him after he completed his goal. He would be hated and feared by the world whereas his companions would be left innocent. That was his hope anyway. They didn't deserve the same burden that he felt he would suffer. They were all still young, innocent and pure. True, they had agreed to help him, but he could feel the darkness surrounding him. A contrast to all the others, light air and happiness fell on them, whereas he was stuck in the gravity of determination and hopeless realisation.
He would change the world forever, throwing it into turmoil and confusion as the people panic and fight in their fear. The world would suffer at the hands of man and beast alike, all being thrown into a war of the unknown. The world would wage war on itself as the elements, unleashed and unrestrained, rampaged through the world, changing and reshaping. He didn't want to cause this. So many lives would never be the same, so many had already been irreversibly changed forever.
Just like his.
He wearily opened his eyes from the cynical thoughts that rampaged so often in his mind as a warm sensation ran down his left arm, reminding him of a jagged cut he had received because of that bothersome monster. He removed his thick leather glove and rolled back the torn sleeve of his tunic. To someone who hadn't seen many battles, the cut would have been a source of nausea and worry. A long jagged gash down the entire length of his forearm, a fair amount of blood leaked from where it had dug deep enough, crimson, purple and black hues along the edges and a piece of the monsters claw still lodged within. To Felix though, it seemed a trifling thing with no need for panic.
"Flower." He beckoned to one of his Djinni.
The small brown Djinni, with strange flowers running along the end of its tail hopped over to him, glanced at his arm and nodded quickly. It glowed yellow and several vines and herbs grew along Felix's arm. Felix grunted slightly as he pulled out the long curved claw from his arm with some difficulty and watched as his Djinni hopped in front of him. He nodded in return and placed his hand over his arm, now resembling a moss covered trunk that had fallen from a tree, and glowed once more with the silvery Psynergetic rings.
He let out a relieved breath and Flower glowed again. As it did the vines, herbs, and moss fell from his arm with the same ease that they had appeared there. He turned his arm around slowly trying to ensure the cut was closed and healed successfully. A long jagged scar, almost as grotesque as the cut itself now decorated his forearm, absent of any trace of blood or foreign colour. He flexed his hand several times to ensure nothing was damaged and then put back on his glove and rolled his sleeve back down.
"Thanks, Flower." He smiled.
"Of course." It answered its voice a slightly higher pitch than Echo's.
It hopped back over to where the other Djinn where and they all stopped suddenly and turned to look at him.
"Master," They all spoke in unison, "please don't doubt your powers anymore. We are aware that you knew you were stronger than Isaac, there was no need to ask us."
Felix and his Djinn laughed together. Suddenly Felix heard a voice behind him.
"They're right you know."
Felix turned around slowly, his long ebony hair fell over his shoulders with the breeze, and he raised a quizzical eyebrow at the sight of the cerulean haired Mercury Adept in front of him. He had known someone was near, but had not expected Mia. She walked toward him, her dark blue travelling cloak wisped gently behind her. Felix raised another seat beside him for Mia.
"Thank you, Felix."
He nodded in return. She sat beside him and released her Mercury Djinn to play with Felix's. They were almost identical to Venus Djinn. The only major differences between them were their light blue colouration, their thin tail which ended in a small purple crescent shape and big yellow orbs for eyes.
"You're much stronger than Isaac, you know." She tipped her head toward him, eyes watching the Djinn, "I mean, you and Piers were able to easily defeat Karst and Agatio, before Jenna and Sheba could even help Garet and me out of that trap, and you were seriously out of your element with the Jupiter Beacon right beside you. Isaac and Ivan barely scratched them before they were downed."
Mia frowned internally, fearing she may be coming across to friendly, she didn't want to seem transparent or, even worse, desperate. She wrapped her travelling cloak tightly around her as a strong gust passed them and turned to face Felix, fixing her sapphire eyes on his deep chocolate ones. Felix sensed something in the air with her, an aura of sorts, soothing and caring.
"Thanks." He said scratching the back of his head absently, "Are you cold?" He asked, gesturing to the fact that she wore only her pale blue nightgown and travelling cloak.
Before she answered Felix had already taken off his blue one-shouldered cloak and retrieved his green one, which he hadn't donned since Venus Lighthouse, from his travelling bag and placed them around her.
"Thank you, Felix," Her embarrassment tinged her words. A slight blush appeared on her cheeks, "you didn't have to."
Felix shrugged and waved a hand in dismissal. He began to glow with Psynergy again and half an earthen dome rose around them protecting them from the chill night breeze.
"I said you didn't have to…" As she spoke her face reddened.
Felix shrugged again and reached out for his travelling lantern, gathered some sticks and wood from around him and made a small campfire beside them. He gently blew the flames as the first tongue of flame danced upon the wood.
"Really, Felix, there's no need I'm used to the cold…"
Her cheeks were glowing red and she was thankful for the fires orange glow which hid her embarrassment. Felix continued to fan the flames, until he was sure they would remain. He shrugged once again as he pulled away from the fire and sat back next to Mia, eyeing her with a gentle expression. She hadn't expected him to be so… friendly, but she was glad for the warmth and comfort that he offered.
"So," He started, "what brings you out to the cold, harsh, wilds tonight?"
Mia giggled internally at his playful tone, "I was just curious as to what a certain Venus Adept was doing trekking into the wild on such a night…" She said in the same playful tone, her blush fading.
"I rarely sleep well." He admitted simply.
"Oh, I'm sorry… uh, do you know why?"
Felix looked up thoughtfully as he thought of how best to tell her why. The truth was his worries and responsibilities as a leader were the main reason, but his usual sleepless nights had other reasons behind them.
"Worry." He shrugged, staring up at the multitude of burning candles amidst the dark sky.
"Anything I can do to help you?" She asked, her tone the caring, loving one usually with her.
He turned to her, surprised at her concern for him and genuinely thankful for it, "Thank you, Mia, really. But I don't think you can help, sadly that's the burden of leadership."
"Well if there ever is, just ask. I'll do what I can." She smiled, looking all the more like an angel, "So, why are you down here?"
Felix narrowed his eyes slightly. There was no need to tell her, was there? But hell, no one else had shown this much care when he disappeared night after night, "To think." He answered honestly.
"About what?" She asked innocently.
Felix didn't respond. He barely knew Mia. She had looked at him earlier with such fear, almost hate. He couldn't trust her, not yet. Mia, sensing this very same, reached out a hand tenderly and squeezed his arm. He winced and pulled away from her with a short grunt.
"Wh-what's wrong?" She questioned instantly, feeling she had done something heinous.
"It's nothing." He grunted, massaging his hand along the arm with active Psynergy, "Just a small cut."
"I can help." Mia stated, "Heal it I mean, I am a healer after all."
Felix let out a breath through his nose and showed Mia the recently healed large gash which ran down the length of his arm. Mia gasped slightly at the sight of the grotesque jagged scar down his forearm, with blood trickling out at his elbow. She could scarcely imagine what it would have looked like beforehand. His arm still had some crimson stains along the scar understandably she assumed, with great accuracy, that a fair amount of blood had spilled from the wound at first.
She hoped that when he healed himself that he was successful in returning some of the blood to his system. She carefully ran her hand along the scar and searched for the cut from which the blood was slowly trickling. She found a small wound just above his elbow, the size of a pinhole, barely perceptible. She smiled slightly. She was surprised a Venus Adept could heal a wound like this. Isaac had only been able to cure bruises and small cuts, but Felix could heal with surprising skill.
"How did this happen?" She asked as the silvery rings encircled her. She placed her hands on Felix's arm and a cooling sensation ran through it. The small spirit of Ply appeared above his arm and sprinkled a light blue dust on it.
"A monster attacked me when I wasn't paying attention, nothing serious." He answered as the healing Psynergy washed within his arm. It felt like tiny droplets of water falling on his arm and drifting through his skin into his blood. His blood retreated back beneath the scar before returning to the normal smooth skin once again.
"There." Mia smiled, withdrawing her hands from his arm. She smiled as she prodded it in several places, ensuring it was properly healed. She nodded and smiled up to him as he held his arm up and scrutinised it.
He slowly ran his hand along his arm and rolled his sleeve back up, "Impressive." Felix stared at his arm, and an oddly mischievous grin grew within his mind, "Your turn. Why are you down here?"
Mia blushed slightly as she tried to think of a believable reason for following him. The truth just seemed too embarrassing to her, "Curiosity I guess." She said bashfully, "And I didn't really like to think of you being alone…" Her thoughts screamed, telling her she had said more than she had needed and hoping that he only took her comment at face value.
"Curiosity?" He raised his eyebrow.
She nodded.
"Regarding?"
She stayed silent, working her best to determine which question to ask first, "You…"
"Me?" He repeated, genuinely surprised.
She nodded again, unsure of how to follow up what she said.
"I'm not a person of conversation." He admitted, "But, I'll try to answer what I can."
"I don't know how to ask…" She said simply, feeling ridiculous beyond belief.
"I see, take your time." He said, fixing his eyes right on her.
His words didn't make what she wanted to ask any easier. In fact in her mind it seemed to make it unimaginably harder.
After a short time of silence she finally broke the air, "I'm scared of you."
Understandably, her words stunned Felix even though he showed nothing, "I'm sorry."
His apology made her feel horrible in a way, "Don't be. It's my fault. I-I just don't understand you."
He stayed silent, sensing she had much more to say and that it wouldn't be particularly complimentary.
"You just looked so haunting when I saw you on Venus Lighthouse. It was like you were possessed. You looked so cold, so sad, and so angry. I didn't understand how you could look at Isaac and Garet like you did. It was terrifying."
Felix nodded, understanding, but remained silent.
"Then when Sheba fell, you looked demented, like sadness was crushing you. Then you jumped. I couldn't believe it. You risked everything to save her. That threw my entire assessment of you away. It even shocked Isaac and Garet. I don't know what to think." She turned her eyes to the ground, afraid of seeing the Felix she remembered from the past in the one beside her now, "You need to understand, Felix. I thought you were evil. I thought we'd have to kill you. I thought you were trying to kill everyone. I thought I… that maybe I hated you. I didn't but I convinced myself I did."
Meanwhile, Felix's mind was working to describe in the best way possible his demeanour on that day, "Mia," He began slowly, "I'm cursed."
She looked up suddenly, surprise coursing over her face, which only intensified when the calm visage of Felix remained.
"I've taken up lighting the remaining Elemental Beacons, a cursed task. Some horrible fate waits to befall me."
"H-how can you accept that?"
"I never wanted to save the world, not when I began this journey anyway. I have a personal stake in this. I will do whatever I have to. I'll take all the blame. I won't let anyone else suffer."
Pretending to be evil so that everyone else would be left pure? She had to admire him, "F-Felix…" She said sadly, her eyes were beginning to well with tears at her words.
"The darkness you say you saw in me. I believe that was the knowledge of this and the determination to face it. I won't let it stop me. I just have to deal with it. I don't truly mean to be so… terrifying." He said apologetically.
"Felix… t-that's so brave… I could never do that."
He shrugged slightly and focused his gaze on a patch of dirt, "Don't worry. You don't have to."
"But you shouldn't have to either!" She pleaded desperately, "Don't face it alone!"
He shrugged again, unwilling to argue.
She grabbed the fibres of his tunic and forced him to face her, her eyes pooling with glittering tears, "We'll all face it. We're all doing this willingly, you're not forcing anyone. You don't deserve it…"
He smiled.
He had smiled.
A smile. A small one. It was definitely there though. A smile. A tiny glimpse of light on an otherwise darkly calm visage. This eased Mia's mind a lot, she couldn't recall ever seeing him smile and had never heard any story mentioning him doing so. It was an entirely new sensation. It calmed her more than a smile from anyone else would.
"Thanks, Mia." He was truly thankful, "You might think I don't deserve it, but I do. I don't want anyone else to suffer because of me. Enough already do."
He wasn't sure why he was confiding in Mia, he hadn't even told his sister. There was a certain air that followed Mia, a reassuring, calming, peaceful feeling that drifted with her.
Mia frowned mournfully and, before either of them knew what happened, her heart went out to the man. He was so selfless, so damnably prideful, so horribly alone, and so pitifully strong despite it all. Her hand went to his face, resting gently against his cheek. She didn't know why. She felt the sting of tears on her eyes for him, like she had so long ago. It wasn't fair.
Widening her eyes in shock, she saw Felix's eyes close as he rested into her hand, bringing his to hold it closer to him. It seemed he was… that he was glad for human contact or interaction. How far gone was he? The chill of the darkness, of everything, vanished as he held her hand closer, almost begging for it not to be released. There was a strange buzz in the back of her mind willing her to say something, but a numbing feeling in her chest preventing her from voicing them. Dumbstruck, she watched him. She moved her index finger gently against his cheek. He seemed so content.
Felix's eyes stayed perfectly fixed behind his eyelids, as his rationality worked through his brain. His mind worked to find the best way to follow their current position. He was incredibly thankful for the care she was showing, especially for someone who was terrified of him. It was a simple gesture. Simple, but it was more than he was shown. The others, even his sister, more often than not alienated him because of his past and his lies. He was amazed, if nothing else, that Mia, a girl who by all indications feared and resented him up until not hours previous, was showing him care. He had to show his gratitude. He slowly opened his eyes to see Mia's fully open and still, her mouth slightly agape, as she stared. He took her hand from his face and gently rested it back onto her lap.
Before he could offer his thanks though, Mia spoke.
"Felix, I… I don't mean to be insulting…" She stuttered quietly, "please don't get angry… but you seem so distant… so wrong."
Felix sighed slightly, everyone, absolutely everyone, had told him the very same, "I'm sorry… but I try to keep them in check. I just don't like to show them. I prefer to assess everything as a cold and perfect judgement."
"But… but that… it's so unnatural…" She whispered, "It can't be healthy… I'm worried for y-"
Mia's eyes went wide as his arms pulled her closer with such tenderness and ease. Her initial instincts were to push him away, to knock him off her, to stop him attacking her, and then storm off. She didn't though, she froze, torn between curiosity, comfort, and surprise, and fear, disgust, and memory. Her curiosity won this battle and she didn't resist, she wanted to see who Felix was, and if this was the way so be it. This all happened in the space of two seconds for, in the third, Felix rested his head down on her shoulder, breathing softly.
Mia was completely lost, invisible robes seemed to pull her closer to him and constrict her insides and her heartbeat raced frantically. The butterflies inside took off with furiously beating, joyous wings as Felix proved he could show emotion. Her arms slowly snaked their way up his body and came to rest around his back. She gladly inhaled the cool night air. She rested carefully against his shoulder. His hair was brushing against her face. She was afraid to move. She could feel her chest pounding furiously against his with the force of her heartbeat. This man could so easily do so much, and quite possibly with so little regard for anything. She had to believe though. Felix. Was. Good.
Felix pulled away from her, looking deeply into Mia's gleaming sapphire eyes, "Thanks for caring." He said softly and calmly, "Few try so hard with me."
"I just want to understand you." Mia exhaled, slightly relieved, "I've never met anyone like you. I didn't think someone could suffer so much and still be so hopeful."
"Not even you?" Felix said knowledgeably.
Mia went wide-eyed and tried to suppress the flood of emotion that was building inside, "I… I don't really want to talk about that." She whispered hoarsely.
"I understand. If you ever need me to I'll listen and help. Just like you've done for me."
Mia giggled slightly, or might have had it been possible. She was grateful for his understanding and even his emotionless rationality that allowed for analysed judgement. Felix was nothing like how she had imagined him, nothing like the stories her friends had regaled her with. He was the quiet, removed person he had been made out to be, but he wasn't made of purely of that. There was love, understanding, care, and even with its coldness, knowledgeable guard. He was so much more.
Wasn't he?
Was he just acting this way with her? Isaac and Garet said he was fun when they were around but with anyone else, he was different. Was she different to him or was he different because she was alone with him?
She looked deep into his brown eyes and saw a gleam of something hidden behind them, something she hadn't seen in any other eyes. He was different, but it was a true difference, not something feigned or momentarily present. He had changed since the times from which the stories came.
Felix returned an odd look down to her. Odd was perhaps not the greatest word to describe what he presented, but it was all she could muster. It was peaceful and understanding, but still filled with determination and that ever so slight presence of darkness. She returned it with a smile and stood up. Felix watched curiously as she lay down on the grassy area within their small shelter that had been left undamaged by Felix's battle.
She was surprised when she felt his form beside her. She felt the kindling of small flames near her and turned to see him slowly bringing over the fire to keep her warm. She felt a need to talk to him, to tell him some secret, to try and open up and relate to him more. The problem was that she didn't want to reveal too much so early, she just wanted to break the silence.
"We don't need to talk, Mia." Felix said to her as he eventually relocated their small fire.
"How did… what?" She asked, wondering how he knew what she was thinking.
"It looked like you were trying to say something. Don't worry I'm okay with silence, if you are of course." He lay down and looked to the sky as Mia nodded slightly to him.
She looked up and thought of something to say, but now it seemed redundant, "Umm, Felix?"
"Hmm?"
"Uh… this might sound silly, but uh…" She stuttered, "What do you think the stars are?"
He raised his eyebrow at the question, it seemed so simple and childish, but he thought carefully of his answer, "I don't know." He answered truthfully, "I've heard different stories about them."
"Can I hear them?" Mia smiled.
"I've been told various stories," He started, his eyes closed as he saw the faces of the ones who had told him the very stories, "I've been told they are a gift from the heavens, to guide sailors and give beauty to night. Or that they are remnants of civilisations from ancient times, when we had the power to reach the heavens. Or, they're simply, Psynergetic stones and dust sparkling in the sky."
"So, what do you think they are?" Mia stressed on that point in particular.
"Honestly," He replied slowly, "I have no idea."
"I was told they were souls." She said quietly, "That after we die a star appears for us, that we are the stars, always there watching our friends and always able to be seen when you have gone."
"Interesting." He said quietly.
"I love the night." Mia intoned casually, mellifluously, as though she were speaking to herself, "The lights, the air, the moon, the stars… all of it. Sometimes, I think it's better than the day."
Felix didn't ask why. He felt he didn't need to.
"People always think that the day is full of colour and that the night is just black and evil. That's just a blind preconception built from stories of evil. People are blinded by preconception. They see what they have learned to see, so they don't actually see at all. The night's not evil, it's abused. If evil were associated with day it would be different. Night isn't black, you need to look. It's darker truly, but you need to acquaint yourself with it."
Felix knew all too well what she meant.
"After Alex left me in Imil, I used to spend entire nights just… looking. Dark, night, it's just that lasting remnant of light that holds such a splendid myriad of colours for those who want to see them. From the splashes of colour of twilight, to the darker hues of the day in the starlight until sunrise, it's amazing. That's why I love the night… especially the stars. You understand, don't you, Felix?"
Felix smiled. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. Mia, a person, who, by all rights, would most commonly be associated with loving the day and light, shared Felix's fondness for the night. She even had such fantastic thoughts on it all.
"Yes." He commented simply.
Silence settled on them, comfortable and easy. Neither had any desire to break it, because they felt there was no need. Mia lay silent, smiling to herself beside the fire, staring up at the countless shining souls amongst the sky. Felix ley silent contemplating all that was this girl, because, for the first time in quite a while, Felix was confused. This young woman, this Mia, followed him down to the plains. She had nothing more than a simple nightgown and cloak to protect her. She followed him with seemingly no fear of the wilderness, the dark, or of him.
She followed him and comforted him, despite all her previous discomfort, and fear, of him. She followed him and actually got him to open up in the space of a few minutes where so many others had failed over the past two years. She followed him, shared his opinions. She followed him to discover she didn't want him to be alone, she didn't want him to die, and she didn't want anything ill to befall Felix. Who was this girl, Mia?
A particularly cold breeze blew past her and, despite the fire, shelter and warmth provided by Felix, Mia couldn't help but shiver and wrap up tighter. Then, without warning, Felix was at her side with his arms around her, pulling her closer and warming her. He stayed dead silent and calm, while all her senses were working harder and faster than ever before. Every sound, every movement, every breath, everything was magnified and carefully scrutinised by her mind before it allowed her to do anything.
She shuffled closer to him, glad for the warmth and comfort he offered. She was confused. This evil man, this good man, Felix, was a mystery. He hid everything so well, carefully making sure not to reveal anything or say anything that could hurt or affect anyone. His eyes though, Mia had seen them and they presented emotion that his face did not allow. Even they hid so much, but Mia could still see the hurt in his eyes.
She smiled, deciding she would help him, and another blush began to grow on her cheeks. She shook slightly as he pulled her closer to his much warmer frame. Although by the sweat she currently felt it could be argued she was the warmer in the situation. She was a healer and sworn to her Mercury clan, her current position would have completely gone against everything she thought right when she still lived her peaceful life in Imil. Then she saw his hand, it slowly drifted up and eventually came to rest on her own in the grass, and, for whatever reason, Mia felt lightheaded. The butterflies in her stomach took off, lifting her from the ground where she lay. She flexed her fingers once, feeling them slide against his, and eventually Mia drifted off on the grass to peaceful, wonderful dreams.
Felix simply watched her sleep beneath the stars, admiring everything about her. He thought back to when he had first seen her, atop the Aerie of Mercury Lighthouse, just after its Beacon had been ignited, he had seen her but paid no attention, his mind was focused on other things at the time. Then he saw her again atop Venus Lighthouse, several months later, and properly saw her that time. Beside the bloody, tired warriors with whom she fought she stood out. She seemed like she didn't belong, a fighter in such a peaceful form didn't seem right. He remembered with a gentle shock, a mystery from back then. A scream that did not belong to any voice he knew. It must have been from Mia. Mia screamed after he dived. Not when Sheba fell. Not when the Lighthouse segmented. Not when Saturos and Menardi fell. No, she screamed when he dived.
Now she was asleep in his arms, alone, on a cold, yet beautiful night. He smiled as he watched her breathe, and brushed strands of her cerulean hair out of her face. He took to admiring her beneath the stars for a time.
Before long though, Felix heard voices at his side. Fizz and Echo were beside them.
"Hate to interrupt Master, but," Echo started.
"We really should return to the inn soon." Fizz finished.
"You're right." Felix whispered, standing up smiling, careful not to wake Mia, "Alright everyone we're heading back to the inn."
The Djinn returned to them and Felix smiled at his makeshift cover from the winds and decided to leave it standing.
He gathered his belongings quietly and carefully removed his cloaks from Mia's shoulders. He quickly extinguished the fire and, when he was confident the embers could not spring back up, he went back to Mia's side.
"Come on, Mia." He whispered as he bent down and picked her up off the ground.
She shuffled and groaned in his arms as she dreamed, but it always returned to her peaceful smile, assuring him that it was a pleasant dream.
He carefully and quietly made his way back through the inn, up the stairs and to her room. The door creaked and groaned loudly as he opened it, and much to his relief, the two other occupants of the room did not wake from their slumber. He lay Mia down on the empty bed and pulled the covers over her before quickly retreating to his own room.
Well, that's the first chapter. What did you think? I don't know about you but I thought it was pretty good. I do hope you liked it, and I do hope you can find the time to review, what's better than criticising someone after all?
Anyway, I do recommend, you check out the fics I have mentioned, you'll not be disappointed.
Well, until next time,
Droory.