A/n- This is written for Cheeky Slytherin Lass, for July Exchange at HPFC. I hope you like it amber!
Disclaimer- I own Harry Potter, but only in my dreams!
Mirror
I have never been too fond of mirrors
They have a habit of showing the harsh truth.
And I'm not very good with the truth.
Apparently, neither were you.
In moments I start feeling at peace,
Mirrors show me my healing scars.
On days I feel like I can actually survive,
They show me I'm completely alone
On nights the full moon is nowhere in sight
It reminds me of my terrible past
On nights the moon shines with all its might
I see myself becoming a monster
On days I walk amongst the people
It reminds me I'm an imposter
Today, though I hate it the most
It shows me your ghost.
It takes me back to eleven
When I alternated between human and beast
Between hell and heaven
But I always had you by my side
Sirius, with me sitting down to feast
Or padfoot, calming me as I cried,
Howled at a moon that would never hear my pain
Days filled with laughter
And those poor cats you chased after
Nights filled with dreams
Of a life of similar days.
A life with you in my heart
and me in your soul.
A life in which we weren't apart
In which we were whole.
A knock brings me back to today
The saddest of days
A day you didn't wake up to
The Earth is still spinning
You-Know-Who is still winning
But you are gone
Engulfed by a veil that took away my heart
And I'm still here, falling apart
This mirror reminds of how you used to love it
How you used to spent hours messing with your hair
And that grin on your face
With a voice that could fill up earth and space.
You shone just the star you were named after
the brightest in the sky
You lightened the world with your laughter
We were an unlikely pair, you and I
But I will always be grateful you found me
Alone and scared
Different and terrified
Of what was to come
Of who I was and who I was to become
But I became Moony,
And I found the true and real me
And I figured out what I was really meant to do
I found my place, my peace in loving you.
I stare at my own face in that mirror
I stare until the tears in my eyes dry up
Until I can finally find the courage to leave this house
A house that has your first year in its walls
And your last year in its memory
A house that was never your home
I find my courage to face that boy
Angry and heartbroken, who needs me
A boy who needs me much more than I need my grief
But before I go,
Before I face a world without you in it
I send out a prayer, a last cry,
for you to come back,
For this to be a nightmare, just a dream.
I pray you come and tell me it was joke
That you didn't leave me all alone.
But it doesn't work.
it seems the sky has turned into a mirror,
It just reflect reality back to me.
That you are gone.
Again.
And I am alone
Again.