AN: (Alternative title: Of Goats and Other Things That Should Never be Lit on Fire) Gettin' back into the ol' Shikamaru/Temari groove, as it were. I asked the beta for a plot to write 'em into, and she wanted haircuts. Hence, blood, explosions, foul language, goats, and...(insert dramatic pause here) a haircut!
"Hold still. Honestly, you're such a baby."
Shikamaru snorts, but very carefully. Like he's going to move now, and risk getting an ear "accidentally" lopped off. Having a kunai that close to his ears and neck and skull makes him more than a little twitchy, though.
Particularly as it's her.
She'd probably think it was funny, if she nicked an ear or something.
A glint of metal, perilously close to the corner of his eye. "Whoops," Temari says cheerfully.
"Hey, watch where you're waving that thing," he growls through gritted teeth, and wonders if she could still get the jugular if he just bolted.
"Now, now, is that any way to thank me?" Sugar practically drips off that tone. "Honestly, I don't know why you didn't do this sooner," she goes on, casually sawing away at one of the longer bits.
"It's traditional," he mutters.
"Funny-looking tradition," she counters, tugging on his hair.
"My mom is going to kill me."
She laughs at him.
It's not his fault, really. How was he supposed to know there was still a stray explosive note nearby that hadn't detonated yet? He'd done well to avoid nasty burns, even if he had wound up with his hair on fire. At least there'd been a stream nearby.
He hasn't had short hair since he can remember. And now that damn Temari is hacking it off left and right.
Still. It beats being fried alive, he supposes, grumbling under his breath and resting his elbows across his knees. "You almost done?" he asks, finally, and the kunai bites into the rim of his ear.
When he's done swearing and flailing and being generally disgruntled, Temari shakes her head in mock-sorrow. "Told you not to move," she says, wiping his blood off the kunai.
"I'm bleeding," he announces. Like it's news.
"It's a scratch," she sniffs. "You'll get over it. Crybaby. Now get your ass back on the ground, I'm almost finished."
He eyes her, weighing the possibility of another accidental nick versus…whatever she'll do if he downright refuses.
Slowly, he sits back down, still pressing one hand to his bleeding ear. She goes back to work, humming a little under her breath.
Then, thoughtfully, "You know, in Suna, we use the notch in the ear to mark our goats."
Shikamaru sighs.
Endnotes: These two are such fun to write. I ought to do this more often.