Chapter 1 – Traffic Music
"Alright, where the hell are we?"
The rabbit hopped out of the dirty white van, and into the snow. It was freezing, but luckily he was wearing thick, black clothes.
"How should I know?" His fox partner said, also hopping out of the van. The rabbit pulled the cloth mask off of his face, and threw it to the snow. The fox quickly did the same, except she stuffed it into her pocket instead of throwing it to the ground. "From the looks of, we're in Tundra Town." She continued.
She looked through the van, and sniffed a vile smell coming from the rabbit. "Damn it, are you smoking again?" She asked, walking around the van to him.
"It's what I do when I'm stressed." He responded, cigarette in his mouth.
"I thought bunnies tapped their feet when they were stressed." The fox questioned.
"I do that too." He motioned down to his rapidly tapping foot.
She smacked the cigarette out of his mouth, it fizzling out upon touching the snow. "Thanks a lot." The rabbit said sarcastically.
"That shit's unhealthy for you." The fox said, stamping on the cig. "I told you to quit."
"I was going to after we did the job." He explained. "But I guess that's not happening."
"Why?" The fox asked. "We have the money, and we're miles away from the cops."
"Do you not think it's weird that we somehow landed in Tundra Town?" The rabbit asked, frustrated. "Last I recall, we were falling off a cliff in the mountains."
"I've learned to not question when good things happen to you." The fox responded, getting back into the van. "C'mon, we're only a ways off from Big's."
The rabbit sighed. "Guess you're right." He said, climbing into the van. "Better get this to him."
He started the van up, and it drove through the snow and onto the nearby street.
"UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
"Stop it."
"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
"I said stop it!"
Judy wasn't sure what was worse, the fact that they were being relegated to traffic officers, the fact they were assigned to Tundra Town, the part of the city with the lowest speeding rates, or Nick's exaggerated boredom. She knew he wasn't really that bored, he was just trying to get a rise out of her.
And it was working.
"Listen, you knew we were going to have to get boring assignments eventually." She explained. "It's not like we haven't done traffic duty before."
"Yeah, but in Tundra Town!?" He yelled. "This place is always so boring!"
"It's not that boring." She shrugged. "Remember the time we stopped the guy who was smuggling drugs in ice cream?"
"Yeah." Nick said, remembering back. "Licked him real good. But that was on an actual case, not traffic duty."
"I'm sure something will happen!" She assured. "Maybe someone will come speeding by right now!"
She watched the traffic pass by the billboard they were hidden behind, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did.
She slumped back in the car seat. This was getting really boring, especially after four hours of nothing.
She decided to try again. "Maybe riiiight… now!"
Still nothing out of the ordinary.
"See, Fluff?" Nick said. "Absolutely nothing."
Then, a dirty white van drove by. Judy watched it closely, it certainly seemed suspicious, but…
Wait a second…
"EXPIRED LICENSE!" She yelled, pointing towards the van. She stepped on the gas, turned the sirens on, and signaled for the van to pull over.
It pulled over, and they parked, the two officers walking over to the driver's seat. The window rolled down slowly, revealing a rather rough looking bunny behind the wheel, and a rather cleanly fox in the passenger's seat.
"What is it, officer?" The rabbit asked in a rather apathetic tone, arm hanging out of the van.
"Do you realize you were driving with an expired license, right?" Judy asked.
The other rabbit gained a confused look. "What!?" He blurted out. "I had it changed last week!"
"It says it expired last week, actually." Judy pointed out.
The other rabbit shook his head, and he got out of the van. He stomped to the back of the car, and looked at the plate. It said it was supposed to expire next year.
"I don't get it," He asked. "It's 2016, right?"
"No, it's 2017." Judy corrected.
"I've heard some dumb excuses for driving with an expired license, but that's probably the dumbest." Nick stated.
The rabbit looked at his feet, and shrugged. "Sorry officers, I'll go get it changed right away." He stated, sounding sorry. That sorry soon turned to a smirk, as he leaped up and kicked Judy right in the skull, knocking her back into the snow.
He ran back into the van. "What the hell are you doing!?" The fox inside yelled at him.
"We're getting the fuck outta here!" He yelled, slamming on the gas, and speeding into traffic.
Judy got up, rubbing her head, and the two rushed back to the cruiser. They turned the sirens on again, and sped after them.
She grabbed the radio. "We are in pursuit of an unmarked white van on the Tundra Town highway, license plate A7DH-9W76, expired. The driver assaulted me when I pointed his license was expired, definitely violent."
The cars swerved through traffic. Judy made sure to not slam into anyone, but the rabbit in the van seemed to be swerving into cars on purpose. Despite appearances, the van seemed very sturdy. The chase headed down the highway, and down into the main part of the city.
As they entered the downtown, the van swerved to a stop, and then sped off in a different direction, the two officers unprepared for the sudden turn. They drove past the turn, and Judy quickly spun the wheel, pulling the cruiser onto a U-turn on the icy road, nearly causing them to spin out.
Luckily, they managed to turn successfully, and continued chasing after the van. Their attempt at gaining ground on the officers was also successful, meaning they had to speed up. On the slippery road, this became tough, especially when they were also trying to avoid cars.
In a few minutes, they managed to catch up, and bumped the van in its back bumper. Nick rolled down the window, and pulled out a bullhorn. "STOP THE VEHICLE!" He yelled through the horn, leaning out the window. "YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!"
Unfortunately, the rabbit seemed to comply. The van immediately stopped, the two vehicles crashing together. Fortunately, the air bags came up, and the two were safe – aside from the pounding in their skulls.
Judy pushed the air bag out of the way, and spotted the two criminals running away from the van. She pulled Nick out of the cruiser, and started running after them.
"We are now in pursuit on foot, we are on Siberian Drive!" She yelled into her radio as they chased them down an alleyway.
"Now we're in an alley." Nick started, nearly out of breath. "A perfect place for two officers to be shanked!"
They ran down the alley, only to find a brick wall at the end, and the criminals nowhere in sight. The only things were a few trash cans, and a dumpster. The approached the back wall. "Where did they go?" Judy asked, looking at the wall. There was no way anyone, not even a bunny, could get over it.
"Maybe its like in Harry Potter." Nick jokingly suggested, tapping at the wall. "Maybe they're wizard criminals."
Judy gave him a look, but then turned around when they heard a trash can fall over. They approached the tipped over can, the lid now on the ground, and frozen trash spilled onto the pavement.
As they looked at the trash can, Nick felt something land on him and cover his eyes. He let out a yell, and stumbled around in the dark.
It was the rabbit, who was wrapped around Nick's head, covering his eyes with his paws. As Judy watched, she heard a loud thump to the ground. She turned around and saw the fox, twirling a small pocket knife.
She jabbed it at the rabbit officer, who leaped back from the strike. She continued to swipe at her, the trained rabbit dodging each strike.
Nick grabbed the rabbit on his head, and tossed him into a wall, where he slid down onto his head. The rabbit got up quickly, and leaped at the fox with a flying kick, which Nick quickly ducked under.
The fox swiped at Judy again, but she quickly grabbed the fox's arm, preventing the fox from stabbing her. "Why are you doing this?" She asked, struggling to keep the blade from cutting her.
The rabbit leaped at Nick again, this time actually landing the kick on the snout. He recoiled in pain. "It was just an expired plate!" He yelled. "I wouldn't even do this kind of stuff for that!"
"Oh yeah, an expired plate." The rabbit said sarcastically. "We know what you're really after, coppers."
"What are you talking about!?" Judy yelled, pushing the fox away.
"How do you not know!?" The fox said, a bit angry. "We just did it, like, two hours ago!"
"Yeah, did you just have your radios off or something?" The rabbit asked, leaping up and kicking Nick in the face again. "We robbed the Cliffside Bank!"
"You WHAT!?" Judy yelled, turning to the rabbit.
"Great, you just blabbed it again!" The fox yelled to her partner.
He slapped himself in the forehead. "Sorry, but how do you not know!?"
"I feel like we would have heard about that." Nick stated, silently pulling out his Taser.
"Yeah, we're two of the best officers on the force!" Judy stated proudly. "Officers Hopps and Officer Wilde!"
"Hopps?" The rabbit said, sounding confused. "But-" He suddenly began twitching, and fell to the ground. Nick had shot his Taser into the rabbit.
The female fox dropped her knife, and raised her hands to the air.
Judy pulled out a pair of handcuffs, and snapped them around the fox's wrists. Nick slapped a pair around the rabbit's wrists as well, and lifted the unconscious bunny over his shoulders.
"Officer Hopps here." Judy said into her radio. "We have apprehended two criminals, who claim to have robbed Cliffside Bank. Our cruiser was wrecked in the chase, so we need someone to come pick us up."
"Alrighty then!" Clawhauser said over the radio. "Officer McHorn should be nearby, I'll send him to pick you guys up."
"Alright, we have a bit of time." Nick said, turning to the fox criminal. "Who, exactly, are you two?"
"We're the ones who should be asking you that!" She yelled, obviously confused. The officers looked at each other, equally confused. Suddenly, the rabbit on Nick's shoulder began to kick him.
Nick dropped the rabbit in surprise. He fell onto his back, and quickly leaped onto his feet. "Wow, never seen someone recover from a Taser that quickly." Nick said, fairly impressed. "Are you shock resistant or something?"
"Please," The rabbit scoffed. "I've had worse shocks than that before."
Suddenly, they heard a car park at the entrance of the alley. McHorn stepped out, and stomped down the hall. He snorted, and looked at both pairs of foxes and bunnies. "Huh, didn't know you two had siblings." He paused for a second. "Well, I didn't know Wilde had a sister."
"What?" Nick and the female fox said at the same time. They then looked at each other. "I don't have any siblings." Nick said.
"Huh, coulda sworn you two were twins."
"Oh, are you saying all foxes look the same?" The female fox chided. "It's just like you officers."
"Oh, uh, sorry." McHorn apologized, tipping his police cap. "Didn't mean to offend you."
The fox and rabbit gave each other a confused look.
"Alright, let's get you two in the car." Nick said, pushing the rabbit forward. Judy quickly followed up by pushing the fox forward. They began to head towards the oversized car, McHorn opening one of the doors, and lifting them up into the back seat. He quickly slammed the door.
The two officers climbed into the passenger seat, which was large enough to easily fit them and at least one more, smaller, officer. The seatbelt alone was too large for them.
McHorn sat in the driver seat, and adjusted his mirror to look at the two criminals in the back. "So, they claim to have robbed a bank, huh?" He asked.
Judy nodded. "We're going to interrogate them about it at the station." She explained.
"You do know there wasn't a bank robbery there today, right?" He asked.
"Yeah, that's the weird part." Nick said. "Actually, there's a lot of weird parts to these two."
"I'm going to see if we can get a full investigation on them." Judy continued. "This entire thing feels strange."
The car drove off, heading towards the station.