This is just a little bit of crack I came up with late at night. I'm not sure how often updates will be, but I plan on having fun with this one.

The return of Uchiha Sasuke to the village of Konohagakure was an event that had mixed reactions.

Regardless of the fact that he had deserted the village and attempted to kill his best friend, he still had his fangirls.

Which, needless to say, confused the shit out of him.

Sakura had been away from the village on a mission when he came home, so she hadn't been one of the countless females throwing themselves at his feet.

Currently, Sasuke was leaning against a tree in the old training grounds, reminding himself that he was not allowed to kill anybody. Maintaining his cool proved to be extremely difficult in light of the fact that someone had attempted to rape him again.

"Damn…" he whispered under his breath, wheezing slightly. That last fan girl must have been on crack to be able to tail him for as long as she did.

Many of the girls who had tried to forcibly take away his virginity reminded him that he needed to repopulate his clan.

Which wasn't entirely true. When he said he wanted to restore his clan, he didn't mean he wanted to fuck every girl that came his way. Especially not Tenten…

Sasuke stood there for a while, contemplating, when suddenly he heard a giggle.

That damned bitch. She was somewhere nearby, and Sasuke knew it.

He thought desperately on how he could escape. Suddenly it hit him…

If you can't beat them, join them.

With that thought in mind, Sasuke made the hand signs for a transformation jutsu. He envisioned a girl with black hair and a modest figure and transformed.

He sat there and didn't move. The fan girl had apparently heard the noise from the transformation because she came over to inspect what had happened.

"Sasuke kun…?" She asked, searching until she found the source of the noise.

During the transformation, Sasuke had not been able to change clothes.

He didn't realize that his breasts were sticking out rather shamelessly and his legs were spread in a very unladylike manner.

"You…how did you get Sasuke's clothes?"

Sasuke stuttered.

"I, well, I"

Sasuke inwardly grimaced at how high his voice was.

"WHORE! YOU SLEPT WITH MY SASUKE KUN!" the girl cried, pointing a threatening finger at Sasuke.

"No, I-"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" the girl cried, leaping at Sasuke.

Sasuke jumped up before the girl managed to hit him and he ran. He ran like hell.

"GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU!"

The Sasuke on the inside cried as Sasuke made a mad dash for his apartment.

'Why do all the crazy ones have to like me?'

He was able to lose the girl as he made his way through a rather crowded street. He paused a second outside his apartment complex, considering.

If he could find a way to talk, act, and dress as a girl, maybe he would lose the whores for good. At least until he was ready to deal with them and their crazy hormones.

Sakura still was gone, so that left only one person to teach him in the ways of being a lady…Naruto.

Sasuke made his way to Naruto's apartment, which wasn't far from his, and pounded on the blonde's door impatiently. Lots of crashing could be heard a loud crashing noise as Naruto made his way out of bed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!"

The door swung open rather dangerously and Naruto gazed at the female Sasuke with bleary eyes from under his goofy night cap.

"Its me, dobe" Sasuke said.

Naruto blinked a couple times.

"Why are you a girl?" Naruto asked bluntly.

"For my safety. Listen, though. I need you to teach me how to be a girl. I also need some clothes"

Naruto grinned and beckoned him inside. Clearly, he was glad he was being sought out as an expert.

"You've come to the right place. Lets begin"

I hate having to rate my fictions as M...because I feel like most teens are able to handle this content without being "mature" But eh, what do I know?

Anyways, leave a review. This is mainly crack fic so if you have any funny ideas...let me know.