Spencer rocked into the ballpen of the BAU nearly over 2 hours late. His hair was a mess, his face was paler than a ghost, big purple bags hugged his under eyes, and a coffee in his hand. He hasn't looked as if has has slept in days. Clothes are the same as he wore yesterday, all creased and dirty. He couldn't give a care in the world. Morgan watched and Reid dumped his messenger bag down next to his desk, as he slumped into the chair, not evening apologising to the team for being late, he just ignore them. Morgan, still watching, knew that something had to be wrong but Reid looked as if he would kill you if you went near him, or even looked his way, but JJ beat him to it. "Hey Spence, you feeling okay?" Spencer spun round on his swivel chair to look at her.

"Yeah" was all she got.

"You sure Spence? you don't look so good..." JJ looked at him with eyes filled with worries, motherly instincts just want to kick in. "I said i'm fine, will you just leave me alone" JJ was quite taken back with Reid's tone, he hasn't snapped at her since she lied about Emily. Reid turned back to his desk and dropped his head, looking at his work. Spencer can get like this sometimes but never has he been this bad, the chances of them getting anything out of him when he is like this, is very slim.

Reid spent the rest of the day, just hunched over at his desk, only getting up to go to the loo or get a coffee. Morgan just watch Reid was the window of his office, the kid hadn't even eaten, just drank shit tones of black coffee, filled up with more sugar then sugar cane farms. But he didn't know what to do, if he tried to speak to him he'll just get single word answers or him going completely off the rails and scream in my face. But Morgan had not choice, there was something up with his team mate and he was determined to find out what, even if it means Spencer ignoring him or hating him for a period of time, he needs to know.

The day had come to an end and Spencer was already packing up his desk, normally he wouldn't be leaving for at least another 3 maybe 4 hours, he always stays behind after everyone has left to finish all his paperwork. Something definitely had to be up. Spencer collected his messenger bag from down the side of the desk and placed it over his shoulder, heading towards the door, but was stopped in his tracks by Morgan. Reid just stopped at starred at him. "You coming to the pub with us tonight then Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked.

"No" Yet again another single and blunt answer from Reid.

"Come on man, it would be fun, it's our night off have a laugh with us"

"I said no Derek!" Reid raised his voice enough that it got the attention from his other teams mates who all came over to see what was going on. "What's with you at the moment man? You haven't been yourself? I only asked if you wanted to come for a drink with us and you bite my bloody head off" Morgan questioned, looking more confused as Spencer never calls him Derek even outside of work.

"Nothing, I'm just not feeling it tonight" Spencer tried heading for the door again but Morgan wouldn't let him, he grabbed hold of his wrist as he tried to pass, Reid winched and pulled his arm away. Morgan just looked at him with questioning eyes, 'Why did he winch like that? He can't be? Can he?' The thoughts were swirling round and round in Morgan's mind as he watched Reid get into the lift, looking right back at him. Morgan would say he looked pissed off but he looked more; worried, nervous. Then the elevator's doors closed.

The cold air froze Spencer's hands solid as he tried to rummage through his bag to find his car keys. Finally he found them and unlocked the car. Once in, he just sat there for a while, staring into the emptiness of the foggy path ahead of him, unable to see passersby but can hear them. Spencer's hands were held firmly onto the steering wheel, as if they had frozen to it. He stayed like this for another good 15 minutes before he noticed his team mates coming out the building ready to head to the bar. Without thinking Reid turned on the engine and drove anyway before they could notice him and try and drag him out. But with what happened with Morgan less then half an hour ago, he couldn't look at him, because he was shore he knew why he did what he did, and he couldn't risk Morgan confronting him about it, but more so, that Morgan might yet go to or has already spoken to Hotch.

It was starting to get late but Reid was led, wide awake on his sofa watching whatever crap was on TV, not taking anything in. He couldn't stop thinking about today, about what happened with Morgan, Does he know? Reid didn't know what to do, he tried getting the thoughts out of his head and try and be a little happier, but nothing seemed to help. Reaching over and grabbing his bag, he pulled out his packet of fags (which obviously the team didn't know about) and his lighter and went out onto his balcony. The cold, crisp air stung his cheeks and hands, but he needed this fag, it was his stress relief beside other things. As he took the first toke of his fag instant relief filled his body, but also filled his lungs with crap and toxic chemicals, but he didn't care, he needed this fag otherwise he would turn to the other thing, and right now that isn't the best option if Morgan starts poking his noise in his business. After about 10 minutes stood outside it was time for him to come in, he felt better after the fag, but something still hung onto him, like someone was leaning on his back, putting all there weight onto him. His mind was suddenly over taken with dark thoughts, things that have happened to him, the cases he's been on, Tobias, then millions of secrets he hiding from his team mates, it started getting to much. Spencer went into the bathroom and turned on the light. He had a mirror fixed to the wall above the sink, he just stared at himself, seeing this disgusting thing that no one will ever love. This thing who was a freak of nature, unnatural, an abomination. Without even thinking Reid opened up the cabinet, and pulled out this tin, opening it and tipping the contents onto his hand. Razor blades.