The dim light of the setting sun faintly shone through the window of 221B Baker's Street. All was silent and peaceful... normal. Suddenly the peace was disturbed when the door burst open to reveal Sherlock Holmes.
"BABES? IS THAT YOU?" Called John Watson from the sitting room.
There was no reply.
"BAAAAAABES?" He cried again. Still no reply. "Oh for goodnes sake!" John was about to get up from the armchair he had occupied, but as he turned, there was Sherlock blocking his way.
"You don't think I would really answer to babes do you John" Said Sherlock in his deep seductive pearl drop voice. "You really are a naughty boy aren't you John. A naughty boy indeed."
"Sher..Sherlock! I..I didn't see you come in!"
"Would you like to?"
"Sherlock! What? I thought you were that girl I went on a date with!"
"Shhhh" Hushed Sherlock as he began to grope John's arse.
"Sherlock! What the FUCK do you think you're doing?"
"Don't complain. Go get me a glass of wine bitch."
Something in Sherlock's eyes warned John that if he did not indeed fetch him a glass of wine like a little bitch, he would do something incredibly, INCREDIBLY innapropriate to him. So John immediatly broke away from Sherlock's intimate embrace and fetched him a glass of vintage.
When John returned to the sitting room he found the room completely lit by candles. The scent of roses filled the room with a sweet, sensual aroma. Sherlock was strewn across the sofa suggestively. He was wearing his purple shirt of sex... JUST his purple shirt of sex (and a pair of pristinely white boxers that John had been forced to wash for him).
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHERLOCK?" Cried John, completly stunned.
"Bored." Sherlock said simply. "You're going to have to make way for my MASSIVE intellect".
"I don't think I want to see your massive intellect"
"Come here." Sherlock commanded in a husky voice.
"I don't think I want to" But John was standing close enough so that Sherlock could grab his hand and pull him on top of him, spilling wine everywhere. "Oh god! I've got wine all over me!"
"Want me to lick it off Dr Watson?"
But as Sherlock was about to lick a stuggling Watson the door crashed to the ground. Moriarty appeared in a rage
"How dare you have so much fun without me!"
And before they knew it Sherlock and John were knocked out by Moriarty's dashing henchmen. The last thing they heard was Moriarty's smooth, soft voice saying "Sorry boys, I'm soooo changeable." in their ears.
John and Sherlock woke up tied to a massive king sized bed.
"I know where we are. OF COURSE!" Sherlock said in reliasation. "We are currently in the heart of Moriarty's sex cave!"
"What?" Cried John in genuine fear.
The door of the chamber creaked open, and Moriarty's dark figure appeared at the doorframe clearly wearing a short bathing gown.
TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.