Look this is for shits and giggles, don't take it seriously. Reading this will probably take a toll on your sanity. You have been warned


In the darkness of that night, away from the preying eyes and ears of those who would judge, some strangers slipped by unnoticed.

But they were not strangers, they knew each-other. And they knew each-other much closer then any of their friends did realize.
They knew each-other both inside and out. But their friends did not know this. Their friends could not know. Their friends should not know this.
Nor could they know. Because it was night, and thus away from their viscous, judging eyeballs.

"Is it safe?" said the first stranger, who was not a stranger to the other stranger but will remain a stranger to us for the moment.

"I think so. Its dark so none of the others should see us here, even if they are nearby. I think our secret is safe."

"Good. I couldn't take their judgement right now. My life is too stressful as it is. If it wasn't for you I don't know what Id do."
"Don't worry Sakura, I will always be here for you - waiting in the dark"
"Thanks, Naruto. I will always be in the dark for you too"

With that the two shadows embraced - an embracement in the night full of passion and romance.
Hahahahaha!
Orochimaru screamed as he gazed at his massive armies!

"Soon I will rule Sakuras Life! And nobody can stop me!"

For a moment time seemed to slowed down. Sakura wondered why. Sakura turned around slowly (due to the time seeming to have slowed down).
Then the explanation - Naruto was secretly looking at her. Looking at her in that special way.
Sakuras soul lit up like a beacon in the night - even though it was day.

In all of this. In all of this mess. They had each other, even if each other was the only ones that knew.
Naruto turned away at that moment - Time jumped back to normal as Sakura was no longer transfixed by Naruto.
Fortunately no one else had noticed.
Sakura was up earlier than usually. She was super excited. After all, today was her wedding day!
Sakura danced through the room, sang a little bit and couldn't wait until the evening.
Oh, how excited Sakura was! Today, she would finally be married to Shikamaru!

Of course for this day, Sakura had chosen the best wedding cake. And the best wedding catering. And invited all her friends to come (except Ino cuz she's a bitch).
Shikamaru himself was also up early in the morning, doing his morning stretches and excercise so he'd look nice and buff in his suit.
Sakura was trying out her wedding dress in front of the mirror

But of course, most importantly of all: Sakura couldn't wait until the actual night. See. Sakura had a bit of a g-string kink. but kept it secret so far. Sakura felt there had to be at least one thing Shikamaru should only discover on their wedding night! Oh, how excited Sakura was to finally share that final bit with Shikamaru!

The day was coming along nice. Sakura received lots of compliments for her dress. Shikamaru looked fabulous in his suit. His muscles nicely toned thanks to the suit being of just the right tightness. Oh, Sakura loved watching her love. Those sweet lips of him touching the wine glass, soaking them up in the red liquid of the wine. Those lips she could kiss all night long.

And those hands, Sakura looked at it. Abscentmindedly as someone else was talking to Sakura while he did so. Shikamaru's hands were so full with power. The way he grabbed Sakura's hands as they cut the cake. The way he held Sakura's wrists as she cut the cake into slices. Those hands would be soon on Sakura's chest.

There was a speech or two. Proclaiming that there had never been such a perfect couple as Sakura and Shikamaru. That the universe had never seen such love. And everyone cheered and rejoiced. And there were flower petals and rice raining down on them and there were songs being sang in their names.

Or so it should be. Because when Sakura stood there at the altar about to give her word to Shikamaru. Suddenly! An Explosion!

And from the smoke rose no one else but Ino!

"Stop! You are making a mistake!" Ino said. "I should be with Shikamaru!"

( I hate myself lmao)

The woman stood atop of the rubble while from everywhere Guard came from. They tied up all the wedding guests (and Naruto, who had been the priest, too!).

"I knew something was up," Ino said. "You sounded way too happy last time we spat insults at each other." She said as she walked down from the rubble into the wedding area. "Of course, there was also this."
She took out a paper and folded it into an airplane. Then she fired it at Sakura.

Sakura opened it up and saw... it was their wedding invitation.
Ino laughed loudly, "Oh yeah, you were willing to invite Orochimaru but not me?! So I did what I had the right to do... I went to Orochimaru and I defeated him and took his invitation.

Sakura knew that Ino could be powerful. Oh yeah, before Ino turned out to be such a colossal biatch, they had been fighting Orochimaru together. But Sakura didn't know that Ino could have defeated Orochimaru...as long as she had enough motivation!

"HAHAHAHAAHA", Ino laughed. "Now to enact my plan!" Because not only will I stop your wedding, I will make your wedding IMPOSSIBLE!
The lackeys took Naruto and shoved him forward. They did the same thing with Shikamaru.

Ino walked over to Shikamaru and took his hand. "Now, Naruto, wed me! Otherwise I will kill all you love! And if you, Sakura try to stop me...I will resurrect Orochimaru!"

Sakura felt like she was kicked in the stomach. What an impossible choice! Sakura thought. Give up the love of Sakura's life or save the world from Orochimaru. It was almost as if fate or God set everything in motion to torture Sakura!

But long Sakura didn't have to be in agony. Because Sakura had a plan!

Some time later in their secret hide-away ;

"I am glade we found a way to survive all that and still be together"
"Yes, our plan seems to have worked despite all the events"
"Do you think anyone spotted us?"
"No"
"No"
"Yes"
Hinata emerged from the shadows of the darkness.
"I know everything" she said.
Sakura and Naruto gasped. Their secret was finally revealed!

"I dont love Naruto like you do" said Hinata "but I have always lusted a bit after them. So you see if Naruto spends the night with me - I will never tell anyone."
Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. That was, after all, a reasonable request. They agreed to the bargain.
"Phwee...thats something we can go along with" said Naruto relieved.
Hinata was happy, and Sakura and Naruto thus got to live happily ever after together. With no one but Hinata and themselves ever knowing.

"Uuuurgh," Sakura said, putting up her most bored voice, "Well, I didn't really want him anyway, I just said that to rile you up."

"What?!" said Ino in utter disbelieve.

"Yeaaah, I was just so angry with you over, y'know, that thing. that I decided that I was going to marry Shikamaru just to make you jealous."

And then, then Sakura thought of the one thing that would make her ruse even better.

"Because really", said Sakura," I love you."

Ino stood there baffled. All the minionss looked at her unsure what to do now.

"Y... you mean that?" said Ino.

"Of course not!" said Shikamaru and in that unguarded moment he knocked Ino unconscious.

"Haha, you didn't expect that to happen, hey Bitch?!" Shikamaru yelled loudly and laughed loudly afterwards.
All the other guests laughed as well.
As did Sakura.

And afterwards, when the police came and arrested Ino, the wedding continued.

And as Sakura predicted. In the evening, finally she could show off her kink. And then it turned out that Shikamaru too had a secret, he whispered at Sakura, taking off his shirt and revealing that he had been wearing nipple clamps all this time. That was kinda hot as well, Sakura thought and it became a really really nice night.

Although, deeply, somewhere... Sakura felt a little doubt over her proclaimation of love towards Ino. Maybe there was a core of truth in it. Maybe their rivalry was nothing more than a elaborate foreplay? Non-the less. Now it was too late. Shikamaru was Sakura's life partner now. Although... maybe... when Ino finally came free, Sakura might be able to convince Shikamaru to explore more kinks with the both of them...


And now to go rot in hell for posting this crap. Drop a review, story, follow or like if you made it this far