The missing knight in Monty Python's
"Quest for the Holy Grail"
I always believed there was a missing link in the story, and the research I found seems to prove me right. This book labeled, "Knights not worth remembering," will tell us a story of a brave and noble knight, named "Sir not appearing in this film."
(I assume no rights to any of the characters in this movie or in the story of Spam-a-lot, and I must say right now this story is purely and utter fiction.)
Sir Not Appearing in this Film was off to go hunt one day, and as rumors tell, he was a man with the face of a lad, not just a lad of any normal age of 10 or below 19, but a lad of 2! We found this preposterous but we believe it to be true none the less. If you think of "how does he fit into his suit of armor?" I will state that he was not necessarily a baby but just cursed by god with the head of a young child. Why? The book says that the answer lies within the fortune cookie included with the book. munch munch munch Ack, what an awful taste, apparently 500 years old fortune cookies taste like gasoline and raw steel. Anyhow, the fortune says, "we lost the answer, so the fortune cookie was a freebie. If you took this from the library then damn you for eating the fortune cookie, and you shall be cursed by the long lost relative of the knights who say 'Ni!'" Suddenly a man walks in, a man seemingly confused with but one message of curses from his forefathers in his mind. He appears to be Jay Leno. Jay Leno speaks up and says, "ok, so what am I supposed to say again?...oh, ok….um…Nu! err…Ny! No, that's not right, either…oh, Ni!" The reader dies of a heart attack by staring at an overly large chin for 5 minutes straight.
A new reader has been assigned, so I am here…here I am, here am I. anyway, cough pages flapping Here we are. The brave Sir Not Appearing in this Film was off hunting, and looking to bring home a large deer for supper and tomorrow's breakfast. He set off with an archery kit and was looking greatly for a large beast to make his breakfast…and dinner. So he spotted a young buck and fired away, even after the fourth arrow missing the target the buck seemed to not care. The knight got furious and charged over with his sword. He passed a sign that clearly stated, "Beasts affected by rabies, be cautious." The knight fully missed seeing the sign and charged forth with a might by low toned, battle cry, that seemed to sound of a baby's whine. The deer rushed forth and bit Sir Not Appearing in this Film in the jugular vain, therefore mortally and fatally wounding him, where as even though he died, he was only half dead.
So, you think that this knight would have a chance of living, correct? Wrong, he was killed by a loud noise emitting from a man standing nearby, the words from the apparent song seemed to come out like this, "MIYA HEE, MIYA HOO, MIYA HAA, MIYA HA HA!" what a horrible death. This man was arrested, and beaten, then later released for false charges because we found out Sir Not Appearing in this Film was dead long before the song. God has saved the knight from one horrible and gruesome torture.
THE END? GO SEE SPAM-A-LOT TO FIND OUT. I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER HONESTLY, SO GO AWAY.
We apologize for bad humor, and if you found this in any way dull, we apologize. Ok, not really.
THE END. REALLY. STOP READING. NOW.