Hello there! So far for this story, there's no particular plot in mind. This story will focus mainly on Itachi and Sasuke and will involve both anecdotes told by them and whatever shenanigans I have them getting into :)

While this is alternate universe to a degree, it's still set around Konoha. I'll go ahead and give a warning now; there's a chance this story will trail into being a "crackfic" at times with all original personalities shattered. Additionally, there may be yaoi references, though I'd like to hold back from making anything official. In short, I'm leaving this story open for whatever ideas come to mind as I want to have as much fun as possible writing it.

With all of that said, I certainly hope you enjoy the story! Oh, and…I start this on Itachi's birthday. I didn't have any other stories prepared so…I can only contribute this.

Struggles of Success

Sasuke sat at the low table, wondering if this might be the last meal of his life. Just to his left and within clear view, Itachi was preparing them lunch while their parents were out for the time. He'd been hungry for quite a while and his stomach gave a loud growl, pleading to be fed soon.

"Itachi, I really don't mind going out, it's honestly not a problem…" He insisted for probably the tenth time.

"I'm positive this time I'm going to get it right!" Itachi said with his back turned at the stove. "I want to make the perfect okonomiyaki for you. I refuse for it to be anything but the best!" He reached to his side to sprinkle something on top which was met by a large fireball engulfing the pan. "Shit. Gonna need to start over again...I thought my calculations were absolutely precise…"

Sasuke heard his stomach growl once more. I'll be a corpse by the time he finishes. He started to rise from his seat. "Look, Itachi, it's cool. I'm just gonna hit up Ichiraku—"

"Don't even think about leaving that table!" Itachi snarled with the Sharingan in his eyes.

Sasuke immediately sat back down.

An hour later, a plate was put in front of him with, admittedly, the most perfect-looking okonomiyaki that he'd ever seen. He was so hungry, a plain rice ball would've been heaven by now. He picked up a fork and a knife, cutting into the food and then lifting it into his mouth. That is, until he stopped to look at his brother. "Itachi, if you get any closer, we're going to be kissing."

Itachi pulled back from where he'd steadily been leaning closer to gauge Sasuke's reaction. "Take a bite before it gets cold. How does it taste?" He fretfully clenched the frilly pink apron he was wearing, decorated with smiling, dancing strawberries.

Sasuke pulled it off the fork and chewed for a while. As he swallowed the food, he noticed Itachi also swallowed in anxiousness. "It's alright. Nothing to shout home about."

"Ungrateful little bastard," Itachi smiled at him, but began to tuck into his own food.

They ate in quiet for a while until Sasuke looked to his brother, tilting his head. "So, how's college treating you? I'm still not sure why you decided to go considering you're one of the best shinobi in the village."

His brother nodded and shrugged. "You do realize the shinobi education stops at thirteen, right? Everyone else goes until they're about eighteen. I had a guy ask me one day what the C stood for in the equation E = mc2 and when I couldn't answer him, I realized that I should probably look into a higher education."

"Okay, one, who just asks that to a stranger?! And two, we don't need that kind of info anyways. How would that help you on the battlefield?" Sasuke asked.

"That's not the point, dear little brother. I want to be fluent in other subjects other than 'A thousand ways to kill a man' and university seems to be the answer."

Sasuke could appreciate that. "Alright then. Made any friends?" he smiled, knowing it was such a mom question to ask.

"Yeah, a few. I mean…they're not exactly friends. I only trust…" he thought about it. "Well, none of them, to be honest. But they make things interesting so I don't mind hanging out with them."

His younger brother quirked an eyebrow at that. "Interesting? Interesting how?"

Itachi giggled. "Well, let's just say, they're not your normal crowd…"

~.~.~

"I hereby call to order this meeting of Alpha Sigma Phi Akatsuki. If all of you would please be seated," Pain instructed to the assembled group.

As everyone shuffled around, a hand was shot into the air. Pain saw it and didn't disguise his sigh. "Yes, Deidara?"

"Yeah, when are we going to upgrade to meeting in an actual classroom? Why the hell do we have to have our meetings in a dark, wet cave in the middle of the woods?"

"Yeah!" the others seconded.

Pain took a seat on a large boulder that looked relatively dry. "Because the college doesn't recognize us as an official fraternity yet. That's just what this meeting is about. They need to see that we're involved with the school or the community in some way."

Another hand was raised. "Does it have to be a fraternity? I'm a woman," Konan pointed out.

"…They don't need to see you," Pain muttered. "Then again, if this new idea of mine works, we should be able to re-classify our group."

Kisame lovingly stroked Samehada as it lay across his lap, the sword purring in content. "This isn't another one of your hair-brained schemes that always end with one of us dead, is it? You do remember what happened to Juzo, right?"

"Kisame, you're just bitter because you wanted his sword for yourself. Look, this one is low risk, high rewards. It's flawless." Pain tossed several folded pamphlets to each of them.

There was a moment of quiet as the group read them before another hand was raised. "I'm not doing this and you know why," Hidan said, tossing his pamphlet into the air and slashing it with his scythe.

"No one's going to force you, but do remember that no other club would take you in and club participation is mandatory at this university for graduation," Pain told him.

Hidan sat back, huffing.

"If there are no further questions, we have one more new change. We're going to need a uniform that gives us credibility, something that says we're a team. I've been working closely with Sasori's grandmother, Chiyo, who was kind enough to make us some rather badass digs. Oh, pardon me, Chiyo."

To the side, the woman was using a battery-powered sewing machine on a length of fabric. "Don't worry about it, dearie," she waved him away.

Pain hopped off the rock and picked up a cardboard box that'd been sitting on the ground. Pulling it open, he dug around inside until he found what he was looking for. He pulled on a wide robe decorated simply with red clouds on a black expanse. "With these, there's no way the dean can say we're not legitimate."

The others traded looks.

"Alright, come up here and grab the one with your name on it. And say thank you to Lady Chiyo! She came out of retirement to make these for us."

"Thanks, Lady Chiyo," the group said with little enthusiasm as they shuffled to the front.

"Thanks, Gram," Sasori said, embarrassed at his grandmother's presence.

"Anything for my precious grandbaby," she cooed, earning him more than a few snorts from the others. He would've had no regrets if he dropped dead right there.

Once everyone was dressed, Pain nodded his approval. "Indeed we look much more polished. Alright, everyone grab some pamphlets. I'll explain the entire details on the way." They followed his orders with him leading the way out the cave.

Once again, she'd been forgotten. "Hello darkness, my old friend…" Chiyo sighed, staring down at the sewing machine.

~.~.~

"…So that's the plan. I'll go first so you can see how it's done," Pain finished. They now stood in a sprawling, residential neighborhood with picturesque, colorful houses and precision-cut lawns. Walking up to one of the homes, he knocked on the door.

It opened a moment later to show a little girl of about eight. Pain stared down at her, the sun flashing off his many piercings and his Rinnegan eyes unblinking. "Hello, child. Are the beings you refer to as 'parents' home at this time?

She screamed and slammed the door in his face.

Behind him, the group fell into cackles. "What was that, oh fearless leader? You were going to show us how it's done?" Deidara teased.

"Fine, since you're such a hotshot, why don't you do it?" Pain sulked, crossing his arms in a very un-leader-like way.

"I thought you'd never ask, hm!" Deidara confidently walked up the driveway of another house and rang the doorbell, tapping a foot and whistling.

The door opened to reveal a balding man in his late fifties. Deidara quickly plastered on a wide smile. "Hi there, gramps! Do you have a couple of minutes to hear the gospel of our lord and savior, the Sage of the Six Paths—"

*slam*

"RUDE!" Deidara screamed, giving the door a kick. Coming back to the group, he put his head down. "Okay, so this might be a little harder than I thought…"

Over the next two hours, each tried their hand at selling tickets for a seminar that Pain stated he would host. With the money raised, he hoped to finally obtain recognition on campus, which, at last, would allow him to add the Akatsuki insignia of the red cloud on class rings. Indeed, that was his ultimate goal. This was going to work; it had to work.

Except it didn't.

"Greetings," Orochimaru hissed to the young woman standing before him. "I'm curious…Are you looking for a change in your life? The way of the Six Paths might be for you!" He suddenly stopped, frowning. "Think I got a hair on my tongue," he mumbled before unrolling a tongue as long as he was tall, right in broad daylight.

When the door was slammed, he only shook his head. "They always do this…" He crouched down and slithered under the door. "So, as I was saying…!" He spent the next ten minutes "enlightening" her on the aims of the Akatsuki but somewhere at the two minute mark, she'd passed out due to fright.

Kakuzu knocked on a door, pulling uncomfortably at the collar of his mantel. When the door opened to show several young college guys, he silently held out the tickets and pamphlets. They looked at him curiously, then reached out tentatively for one until they saw his arm suddenly bulge. "Dude, you're ripped! What do you bench, like 150?" One of the guys asked.

"Yeah, hook me up with your exercise routine, man!" Another said, stepping forward.

Kakuzu backed up. "I have no idea what the hell any of you are talking about—"

"Aw, don't be like that! Look dude, we train every day on the football team and none of the guys there look like you!" One boy said, eying Kakuzu jealously as another muscle pulsed.

"I don't think anyone looks like me," the other man muttered, becoming even more uncomfortable. If Pain weren't so close by, he would've killed them by now.

To his statement, the same guy said, "Pfft, yeah, I can bet no one looks like you! You have the best kept secret ever!"

"If only you knew…"

"Then it's decided! We're following you all the way!" the obvious leader of the group said, his bros cheering him on. "From now on, you're one of us!"

"One of us! One of us! One of us!" the group cheered.

As they congregated on him, Kakuzu did something for the first time in his life: he fled. He caught up to Pain who was on an opposite block of houses, all but crashing into him.

"What's wrong with you? Tell me you sold some tickets," Pain inquired sternly.

"Screw tickets, I was nearly inducted into a cult!" Kakuzu said, his voice tense in a way he was certainly unused to.

Pain blinked at him in surprise. Fear did not become the man. "That's nice. Now get back out there and sell. We need to meet our quota by the end of the week. You love money; I'm sure you can see the importance in making sure we meet our deadline."

"Fuck the quota, I'm going home." With a plume of smoke, Kakuzu was gone.

Pain sighed, realizing that nobody was getting anywhere. Touching the ring on his finger he said, "Abort the mission. This isn't working. Regroup at the hideout." He took the initiative and disappeared first.

Hidan got the message just as he'd managed to form a bloodied circle with a triangle in the middle on the ground. "Aww, shucks. Guess you guys won't be visiting Jashin anytime soon," he shrugged, his body having turned the skeletal black and white of the ritual. He stepped out of the circle and walked away, much to the relief of two little girls who'd only wanted to sell him lemonade.

Deidara had just gotten rejected for the fifth time and was in the midst of crafting a "present" for the latest home owner when he heard Pain's voice. "Tch, I ought to give this to him for wasting our time like this," he grumbled. With regret, he shoved the handfuls of clay into his pocket, touching his ring to return to their base.

Sasori was locked in the most infuriating argument he'd ever had. "Look, what is so hard to understand? You buy a ticket. You come to the event. You sit. You listen. Is that so hard?"

The young boy in front of him was completely disinterested. "Why should I pay to find out more information when I can just Google it?" the kid rolled his eyes.

That was it. He was about to have his own Pinocchio. "Can Google help you dodge this—!"

But then he received Pain's command.

He drew up short, eyeing the kid contemptuously. "You live to see another day…be grateful."

"Yeah, whatever," the kid said, yawning and shutting the door. From the other side, Sasori heard him add, "Freak."

"I am not a freak," he mumbled, almost sulking as he was transported to the cave.

Itachi and Kisame had opted to team up together but Itachi was noticing a distinct pattern; while he was usually greeted pleasantly enough, most screamed in horror when they turned their eyes upon Kisame. "Talk about a blow to the self-esteem!" Kisame joked as they headed to their next house.

"You do realize what you look like, right?" Itachi threw him a look. "I'm curious though…what are you?"

"A man-shark!" Kisame said proudly. "Half man, half shark. Daddy got curious about female aquatic life. Unfortunately for him, he forgot that sharks don't mind the taste of human flesh. Poor Daddy…however, if he hadn't been so curious, I wouldn't have ever been born, so I thank him for his sacrifice!"

Itachi turned to the side and gagged hard. "Oh dear, sweet Kami, what the actual hell!"

"Nah, I'm just kidding with ya!" Kisame pushed him playfully. "I'm an experiment from Kirigakure. But it's not too far off either way. I'm modified but I have both shark and human cells."

Itachi straightened up, looking pale. "Forgive me that I ever asked," he said weakly, putting a hand on his stomach. Just then though, he froze, listening to Pain's summon telepathically. "I suppose he finally gave up," he sighed gratefully.

"Damn, and I had a good feeling about the next house," Kisame smiled, showing his rows of vicious teeth. "Oh well, you win some, you lose some, right?"

"…We lost all of them. Because of you," Itachi reminded him.

"I can't help it that nobody can handle my devilishly good looks," Kisame teased but vanished away before Itachi could say anything more.

He shook his head. "Why do I even bother?" He too vanished back.

~.~.~

"So what happened after that?" Sasuke asked Itachi, taking both his and his brother's plates to the sink to be washed.

"The school refused our request to allow us to be recognized as a religious organization so they classified us as a fashion club instead. Shame that it took all of that just to obtain any kind of status though."

Sasuke threw him a look. "Fashion? Really?"

Itachi shrugged, standing up to take off his apron. "They found it was the lesser of two evils. Considering no other group wanted most of us, we became like the cool misfits on campus."

"…No you didn't," Sasuke called his bull.

"Yeah, you're right, we didn't. Everyone was terrified of us." Itachi walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Your last mission assignment gave you some time off, right? Come with me into town. Gotta do some shopping anyways since I used up a lot of things to make lunch."

A day to hang out with his brother? Sasuke felt his heart lift. "Yeah, that sounds great." Feeling childishly happy, he ran upstairs to get ready.

Itachi's cooking struggles were inspired by the absolutely hilarious OVA The Sunny-Side Up Battle. Honestly, if you've not seen it, hunt it down on an anime website. For anyone that loves Itachi (and it features Sasuke), it's a must-see and was a huge inspiration to me starting this story :)

The idea of the Akatsuki being in college though is an expansion from an idea used in my first Naruto story, Journey to the Land of the Leaf. The Akatsuki probably won't be a staple in this, but they might be mentioned here and there.