"Why do you put up with it?"
Kurt sighed at the question, not quite wanting to meet his friend's sympathetic face as he pondered the answer himself. Why did he put up with it? It wasn't the first time, and as he thought about it with a slow feeling of dread, it probably wouldn't be the last.
Kurt sat atop the roof of the Institute next to Forge, the team's very welcome newest addition. The sun was setting, casting the two in a warm glow as they stared down at the grounds, but most particularly, at one of the benches where Scott was snuggling very intimately with Jean.
Kurt looked away as the redhead brought him down for a kiss, bile rising in his throat.
Scott and Kurt had an odd sort of relationship, it having begun when Kurt first told the older teen that he thought he might be gay. Scott, ever the friend he was, had volunteered to help him get some experience, no strings attached.
But now, Kurt didn't know if he could keep up their little arrangement anymore. He'd felt for a while that their easy friendship had meant a lot more to him than it did their team leader, and it was getting harder and harder for Kurt to ignore the fact. He'd told Scott as much, and when he breached the subject of an actual relationship with him, Scott's answer had been a simple, resounding 'No'.
Their deal stayed the same, Kurt continuing to bring up his wishes for more and Scott continuing to insist that he didn't feel for Kurt that way. Once, in a particularly heated debate on the matter Scott had made it painfully clear that Kurt was merely something to hold him over until Jean was ready to be official. Kurt went back anyways.
"It's obvious he's hurting you. I know he's our friend Kurt but he's being a dick." Forge said softly, looking at the younger boy beside him sadly. "You deserve better."
Kurt shrugged. "It's not like anyone else would want me. It's not that I'm feeling sorry for myself or anything, but it's true. It's not like I can tell any interested guy I see that I'm a mutant, and even if he was okay with it, I don't think he'd be comfortable with the fur and tail. The only chance I have is with another mutant and all the ones that I know are either taken, straight, or not my type."
"That's not true Kurt" Forge insisted. "You're a great guy, anyone would be lucky to have you."
"Thanks" Kurt said, offering weak smile as he looked up at his teammate, "but you're my friend, I feel as if you have to say that."
"It's true"
"Maybe" Kurt shrugged, wanting to drop the subject. "You never know, Scott might change his mind. I've got homework, I'll see you later man." And with that Kurt ported, leaving Forge alone with his thoughts.
-x-x-x-
Forge sighed; it wasn't a secret that he liked Kurt. The only one seeming to be out of the loop was the blue teen himself. And if Kurt really did know and was just playing innocent, than that only meant he was purposely avoiding his affections, wanting nothing more than to pretend like they didn't exist. The possible rejection stung, and he wasn't even sure of it yet!
Forge continued to glare down at the couple below for a few more minutes, watching in disgust as they continued to make out. He didn't understand how someone so seemingly noble could do something so cruel and hurtful to someone as innocent and sweet as Kurt. Well, not so innocent anymore. Forge was beyond pissed that Scott had most likely been his first. Kurt deserved so much better. Someone like . . . him.
Shaking his head he stood, wondering how he'd get down since Kurt had been the one to get the up there. Deciding he had time to spare, he set to the work of forging a ladder out of spare parts he took from things, hoping the professor wouldn't be mad.
-x-x-x-
"Hey"
"Hi" Kurt said shyly as Scott walked up to him in the hall.
"You doing anything tonight?" Scott asked, leaning an arm on the door behind Kurt's head.
"Just homework" Kurt said, breath hitching as Scott leaned in.
"Sounds fun" he drawled sarcastically, smirk in place. "How about we have some real fun instead" he purred, sending shivers down Kurt's back.
Kurt swallowed, flashing back to his conversation with Forge briefly before shaking his head. "I really should finish, it's just a bit and I would like to get it out of the way."
"I'm sure it can wait" Scott argued, leaning in to place a teasing kiss on Kurt's lips before moving over to nibble lightly on his ear. "You look like you could use a break anyway. What kind of captain would I be if I let you overwork yourself?"
"Scott" Kurt whined as the older mutant sucked at a particularly sensitive part on his neck. "You were just with Jean."
Scott pulled back, annoyance marring his features briefly before his face slid to his perfected look of neutrality. "So, I told you, we're not official or anything. Jean wants to sort things out with Duncan first before she gets in a relationship."
"Then you're just using me." Kurt said reproachfully, "That's not fair to me."
"This was all about getting you experience, remember?" Scott said, winding his arms around Kurt's slender waist. "If anything I'm helping you. Do you not want to learn anymore, is that it?"
Kurt bit his lip, closing his eyes briefly before he looked pleadingly up at Scott. "I want a relationship. An exclusive one. I want to be yours and only yours and I want you to be the same for me. I really like you Scott, I thought, maybe, because of all of this" he said waving a hand between them "that you might like me too."
"I do like you Kurt, just not that way. I like what we do together, its fun, and it feels good. What's wrong with that? We're friends; I don't see why we need to complicate things."
"You're hurting me" Kurt whispered, voice shaking as he could no longer meet Scott's gaze. "I don't think I can keep doing this. Every time I see you with Jean, it hurts, makes me feel like I'm not good enough."
Kurt would never have been able to say that if it hadn't been for his talk with Forge, and some small part of him still regretted the words as he said them, but an even bigger part wanted to get things sorted, one way or the other.
Scott sighed, "I told you from the start that this was just a friends with benefits sort of thing Kurt. You're the one breaking our deal. If you want to back out all you have to do is say so, but I still stand by what I originally told you. I do want to help you, but if you can't handle it anymore, just say so, and we'll quit."
"No, sorry, I shouldn't be blaming you" Kurt muttered, staring dejectedly at the ground before looking up, a small smile that he didn't really feel sliding into place. "So, do you still want to have some fun?"
-x-x-x-
Kurt sighed, sitting up and scowling a bit at the dry semen on his chest. It would take forever to wash that out. He stared at the empty spot beside him, the coolness of the sheets next to him indicating that Scott had left long ago.
Before he could stop them, tears welled in his eyes, the crystal droplets spilling over and down his cheeks without his consent. Soon he was crying harder than he wanted to allow himself, small frame beginning to shaking with his racking sobs as he pulled his knees to his chest, arms and tail wrapping around him tightly as if to shield him from the rest of the world.
He looked up at a knock on the door, panic coursing through him at the thought of anyone seeing him like this. "Just a minute" he croaked, futilely wiping at his tears as he stood, searching for his clothes.
The door opened, shedding much unwelcome light on the room before Forge entered and shut it behind him, throwing the two into semi darkness. "You look a mess" Forge sighed, handing Kurt a robe that hung on the back of his door which Kurt quickly wrapped around him, humiliated enough.
"I said I'd be a minute" he snapped; face dark with embarrassment as he once again hugged himself tightly. Of all people to have come in it just had to be Forge.
"You sounded upset" Forge said softly, "I was worried."
"I'm fine" Kurt said, a small hiccup betraying him as he sniffled, wiping angrily at his still damp cheeks.
"You're crying" Forge stated simply, as if it wasn't already obvious as he wiped a tear gently away with the pad of his thumb. "What's wrong?" he asked, though looking at the bed, Kurt's clothes thrown haphazardly around the room, and from what he had seen of Kurt earlier, he was sure he had an idea.
"You're supposed to be a genius, figure it out" Kurt snapped once more, before sagging a bit. "Sorry" he murmured, "It's not your fault. It's mine for being such an idiot and not listening to you."
"You're not an idiot Kurt" Forge said earnestly, speaking softly as he pulled Kurt to his chest, much different from when Scott had the night before. "Tell me what happened?"
Kurt sighed, snuggling into Forge's embrace as the older teen walked them backwards to the bed, sitting down and settling Kurt down in his lap, never once loosening his grip.
"Scott wanted to . . . have fun" Kurt finished for lack of anyway else to put it. "I told him I wanted a relationship, and he got mad at me for wanting to change our agreement, so I gave in. He wasn't here when I woke up. It's stupid, I know, to be upset by it since he usually never is, but . . ."
"It's alright to feel hurt." Forge said, running his fingers soothingly thorough Kurt's hair, the younger mutants tail wrapping unconsciously around the genius.
"I shouldn't have expected him to be there. I just, I guess, hoped that he would be."
"He doesn't deserve you Kurt. And you don't deserve to be treated like this." Forge said quietly, moving a stray strand of hair behind his pointed ear.
Kurt bit his lip, blinking back more tears but ultimately let them fall, it was no use hiding anymore. "It hurts so much." He said, sniffling into Forge's chest, the other apparently unbothered by the fact that he was ruining his shirt. "I know he doesn't want a relationship, but he's not official with Jean and at least they're open about it. I feel like he's ashamed of me. He never says anything" Kurt hiccupped, "but I think he likes it better when I'm wearing my inducer."
"He's a dick" Forge said firmly. "He's a fucking asshole if he would ever dare do something like that to you." Forge growled. "You're beautiful Kurt. You're funny, smart, cute, and just . . . amazing. Scott's the idiot here if he can't see how amazingly lucky he would be to have you. It's his loss. But you don't deserve this. You can't keep doing this to yourself."
Kurt nodded faintly, thankful that Forge tightened his grip as he did the same, the other waiting patiently as Kurt's sobs gradually reduced to sniffles.
"There's something I want to show you" he said when Kurt was sufficiently calmed and all cried out. "Go get showered, I'll clean up in here a bit" Forge said softly as he pulled back a little, Kurt climbing reluctantly down from his lap.
"Alright" Kurt said quietly, grabbing a clean change of clothes and a towel before heading to the bathroom.
Kurt didn't know why, but as soon as he had left the older teen's company he had began to miss him, especially his arms wrapped around him, and his unique smell of oil and some sort of cinnamon shampoo he used that just smelled so much like Forge. Like home. He'd never quite felt that way with Scott.
Shaking the feeling off he turned the water on hot, nearly scalding as he stepped in with a wince. Despite the initial pain, he was glad for the heat, wanting nothing more than to wash last night and its traces off of him.
When he came back Forge had clearly changed the sheets and made up the bed, Kurt's clothes from the previous day thrown into the laundry bin along with Forge's shirt, the genius himself wearing one of Kurt's shirts that was too long for the younger teen.
"I hope you don't mind" Forge said, gesturing to the article of clothing, "It didn't really have time to dry and I didn't'want to go out with a wet shirt."
"No, it's fine" Kurt said, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry, for messing it up."
"Don't worry about it" the older mutant waved off, taking Kurt's hand in his and running his thumb along the back. "I haven't finished fixing Delilah" Forge said sadly, referring to the old Junker he had found and so fondly named. "Can you port us there?"
"Sure" Kurt nodded, liking the way Forge's hand felt in his. "Where to?"
"The school gym." Forge said, tightening his grasp briefly before they were standing before the old brick building in the blink of an eye.
Forge opened the doors, motioning Kurt inside before following in himself, the two's footsteps echoing in the deserted room as Forge flipped on the lights.
"This is where I first met you" Forge said, hand still entwined with Kurt as he turned to face the shorter teen.
Kurt grinned at the memory, "I was so glad I had found someone who could actually see me."
"Tell me about it" Forge chuckled. "Back then, when I first saw you, I was so glad that I'd found someone like me, you know, another mutant. And I thought you looked wicked cool."
Kurt raised an eyebrow, "I thought I'd scared you."
Forge laughed, "Well, yeah. I mean, I hadn't seen anybody that could actually see and talk to me in years. It wigged me out a bit. But when I got used to it I realized how cool you looked, not to mention cute."
"Cute?" Kurt asked; face flushing at the word as he looked inquiringly up at Forge.
Forge smirked, "Unbelievably cute, and funny. Smart too. I think it might have been then that I started liking you, but I only realized it after that gadget I had you try out. When I saw how scared you were, I was so worried, I felt horrible. I wanted to just hug you and make everything okay." He said honestly, a bit self conscious about admitting it all out loud but still managing to look Kurt in the eyes.
"Like me?" he croaked, unsure if he had heard correctly.
The brunette grinned, "Yeah, it took me a while to figure it out though, some genius I am. You're one of the main reasons I decided to join the X-men. I mean, I really do want to use my powers to help others and everything, and everyone's great, but the real deciding factor of moving to the institute was that I'd be closer to you."
Kurt was struck silent, unsure of how to respond to the revelation.
"But then, I found out about Scott" Forge continued, face darkening a bit. "I'd still wanted to tell you but it seemed as if everyone already knew so I assumed you would too. I thought you were just ignoring it because you didn't feel the same. But, Kurt, I need you to know." Forge said quietly. "I'd never treat you like that. I'd be faithful to you, and I'd never be ashamed because I'd be the luckiest guy alive to be fortunate enough to have you. I'd try my best to never hurt you. And I'd never try and pressure you into anything. I love you Kurt."
Kurt's only answer remained silence as he attempted to absorb everything he'd been told. His world seemed to be tilting on its axis and he was sure that if Forge didn't have a firm grip on his hand he would have had to sit down.
Forge decided to take a chance, leaning in to place a feather light kiss to Kurt's lips for a lingering moment before pulling back. "Like I said, I don't want to pressure you into anything, just, think about it yeah?"
Kurt nodded, Forge releasing his hand with a small smile as he turned and walked away, Kurt watching him go until the gym doors banged shut behind him.
Kurt continued to stare at the doors, bringing a hand up to his lips, still tingling from the gentle pressure, so unlike his and Scott's first had been. Licking his lips he could taste the faint traces of cinnamon, idly wondering if the other mutant had a penchant for the spice.
Sighing to himself, Kurt knew he couldn't let this go on any longer. He still wasn't sure of the extent of his feelings for Forge, and just how long they had been there. However he was certain, that whether or not he decided pursue a relationship with the genius, there was something he had left to do.
-x-x-x-
Kurt knocked once on the door before him, waiting a moment until it opened revealing a slightly disheveled looking Jean.
"Kurt" she said in surprise, Scott walking up behind her and wrapping an arm snuggly around her waist, the redhead leaning against his chest, pleased with the contact.
"I need to talk to Scott" he said firmly.
"We're kind of busy Kurt" Scott said. "Can it wait?"
"No" Kurt shook his head, "I need to talk to you now, it's important."
"Alright" Scott said, clearly annoyed as he waited for whatever Kurt had to say.
"Alone" Kurt added when Jean didn't budge.
Scott's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Kurt, before turning to Jean apologetically. "Sorry, we'll just be a second."
Jean sighed, nodding as she said, "You know where to find me" before leaving the two alone.
Scott motioned for Kurt to come inside, the younger teen doing so as Scott shut the door behind him.
"So" Scott said expectantly "talk."
Kurt was quiet for a moment, gathering his courage and attempting to find the right words before he simply said, "We're through."
"Excuse me?" Scott said, crossing his arms over his chest as he regarded Kurt angrily.
"I said we're through. Over, done with" he elaborated. "Whatever we had, whatever the deal was, whatever this . . . thing is between us, it's over."
"What do you mean?" Scott said, apparently still not comprehending. "Everything was fine last night, what brought this on."
"Everything was not fine" Kurt hissed. "It hasn't been fine for a while and you fucking know that."
Scott blinked, it was rare that Kurt cussed outside of bedroom activities and it was a bit of a shock. "What's wrong then? You're learning. Isn't that what you wanted? You seemed fine yesterday, we had fun" Scott said, moving to touch Kurt only to have the other step out of his reach.
"No" Kurt shook his head. "I don't care what our deal was, things have changed. You knew you were hurting me, you've know for a while. I've told you, several times! I can't do this anymore!"
"Kurt, calm down, you're overreacting."
"I am not overreacting" Kurt said, anger filling his voice to the brim. "You're just being an asshole and I can't take it anymore. We can be friends, and teammates, but not anything more. It's over Scott, and I'd like to put it behind us. I just, need some space for a while. I'm sorry if you had other expectations but that's just how I feel and I'm not letting you try and make me feel otherwise. That's all I had to say" Kurt finished softly, somewhat calmer as he quickly exited the room, leaving Scott no chance to argue.
-x-x-x-
The walk back from the school has been short and Forge currently sat in the garage of the Institute, dutifully working on Delilah and humming softly to himself. The genius looked up at a noise behind him, Kurt having just landed as he grinned at his friend.
"Hi" Forge said for lack of anything else to say, raising an eyebrow at Kurt's almost giddy mood.
"I ended it" Kurt said happily, relief radiating off of him as he felt as though a weight had been lifted from him.
"You broke it off with Scott?" Forge asked, grinning at the simple nod from Kurt as he wrapped the shorter teen in a tight hug, swinging him around as Kurt laughed. Their arms still remained around the other even as Forge set Kurt down, neither minding.
"I couldn't have done it without you" Kurt said, "Thank you."
"It was no problem" Forge shrugged. "Like I said, you deserve better."
"Like you?"
Forge flushed a little, "If you want."
"I think I do" Kurt grinned, before he took on a serious look. "About the no pressuring thing, you mean that right? I know how I must seem to you from what I jumped into with Scott, but I'd really like to take things slow."
"I'd like that too" Forge said, "I don't mind waiting; you're more than worth it."
Kurt blushed, smiling at the words. "Thank you, that means a lot. And, eventually, when we're both ready, I want my first time to be with you." He said, face flushing a dark color as he looked up into surprised brown eyes.
"First?"
Kurt, if possible, turned darker. "Scott and I, we never went all the way. We did a lot of things, we just never . . ."
"Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed" Forge apologized. "And, when it does happen, our first time will be special."
"Thank you" Was all Kurt said before leaning up and claiming Forge's lips in a soft, slow kiss full of passion and promises. "For everything."
AN: So this was a request from Spike Xander's Drink. I don't usually like this pairing but I've been asked to do it a lot, though this will probably be my last fic with them for a while, I guess I just like Scott/Kurt too much =) Hopefully you all liked it, I know I enjoyed writing it!
Reviews are Love! =D