Carol Peletier was broken. Inside and out. And it would never change. She had been this way since a young age. But at least back then she had been strong. She had hid the broken girl away deep within herself. But then, everything had changed when she met Ed. He had broken down all of her walls and found the girl within. And they had fallen in love. He had held her through those rough nights and muttered soft words to her. She was so in love with him that she agreed to marry him. Things were blissful; until Ed lost the best job he ever had and got to drinking. And when Peletier men got to drinking, they got to hitting. And Carol had been at the end of that force. She had been the one to endure it all, until she got pregnant. Then Ed stopped, he may have hated Carol – for he blamed his job loss on her – but he knew not to hit a pregnant woman. And if truth be told, he had always wanted a little baby boy. But, Carol had a miscarriage and he hit her more. And forced sex upon her. He wanted a baby boy. And then she got pregnant the second time. But what came of this one, was not what Ed wanted. Sophia was born and it only infuriated the alcoholic more and he began to not only hit Carol, but once little Sophia was a decent age, he hit her too. He hated them so much.
The apocalypse broke out, and Carol thought that maybe, just maybe, Ed would stop his abusive ways and they would survive together. But she had been wrong. Ed was just as bad, maybe worse. Even when they met up with other survivors and made a camp in a rock quarry, he still hit Carol and Sophia. There was just no reprieve. The only upside, it happened late at night, and he would not dare lay a hand on her when the others were around. Especially not when Shane was around, he was, after all, a cop.
As Carol began to open up to the women of the group, her eyes fell upon Daryl Dixon. A rough and tough redneck that had arrived with his older, douche of a brother, Merle. Daryl was like his brother in some ways, but in other ways, he was his own person and it was obvious he didn't like the way Merle acted. Carol liked to watch Daryl, especially when he didn't think anyone else was looking. Because that was when she could really get a look at whom he truly was. And she liked what she saw. She saw a lost soul just like herself. An abused soul who just needed someone to understand and care. And Daryl sure as hell wasn't getting it from Merle. And Carol would never receive it from Ed…never again.
Even after everything Ed had ever done to her, Carol still loved him. Because when she looked into his eyes, she saw the boy that she had fallen in love with. And that is why, when Shane beat Ed almost to death, she had been so devastated because she still saw the old Ed. The one who loved her unconditionally, and looked passed her scars and held her as she cried. When he got attacked by walkers and they were disposing of bodies, she went up to Daryl who was smashing brains in with a pickaxe. He was about to go at Ed's head when she stopped it. And wordlessly took the pickaxe from him and held it firmly. She felt tears well up in her eyes and a sob escape her throat as she realized it was truly over. He would never hold her in his arms, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, and take care of her. It was all over, and to prove the finality she smashed his brains in with the pickaxe, crying the whole time.
That was the day Daryl Dixon truly noticed Carol Peletier. He had known of her existence, and nodded politely at her in camp, but he had never truly noticed her. She was just one of the many other faces and mouths to feed. Her and that kid of her's. He knew she was abused, but what could he do about it? It wasn't his business, and he sure as hell wasn't going to make it his business. He knew the feeling and did sympathize for them a little, but not enough to keep true tabs on them. Until that day when Carol took the pickaxe and smashed her husband's brains in.
Daryl had always felt her eyes upon him, but he never gave it a second thought. He just ignored her and occasionally turned to her and nodded at her a little. But he never made a big deal about it. And he most certainly never felt the need to shoot sneaking glances back at her. Until now. He found himself very intrigued by the now single mother. She seemed to clutch to Rick and Lori, maybe because the two kids were friends, but Daryl figured it was because Lori had decided to take them under her wing and take care of them. Daryl rolled his eyes at it a little. He wanted to find it disgusting, but he couldn't. For some strange reason, he couldn't. And deep within he wanted it to be him they clung to.
Daryl was good at seeing a person's true self. It was one of his many talents. And Carol was no exception. He saw the abused woman she was. And he saw that she had always been abused. Just like himself. He saw that her soul was lost and searching for another to walk with. And he knew his soul could be the ticket to safety for her, but he didn't know what to do about it. Honestly what could he do about it? Nothing.
Even on the safe farm, Carol felt unprotected. She always watched her back and kept a knife with her. It was precautionary, and one could never be sure. She had nothing to live for. Ed was long gone and now Sophia was gone too. Carol had just gotten over the shock of the loss and was finally joining the gang once again. Her world was gone and she was left to wander it, forever alone. She glanced across the field to where Daryl had made his new camp. He had ditched them since Sophia had come out of the barn and it only made Carol feel more alone.
Daryl sat by his little campfire, his back leaned against the dilapidated chimney. His eyes were closed and he could feel the wind blowing through his hair as he fought the scream that wanted to burst forth. He had failed her. The one thing he wanted to do for the woman, and he had failed. He'd promised not only himself, but her that he would find her daughter and return her to the woman. But he couldn't even do that. What use was he to them now? They had all had hope in him, and he had let them all down. Daryl could still feel the way Carol broke in his arms as he held her to stop her from running at her daughter. He could feel all of her breaking in his arms. It was unbearable. He hated it. It had even broken him, the sight of the young girl walking out of the barn. She had been with them the whole time. And no one had even known.
Carol watched as Daryl came over to join them. He awkwardly sat down across the fire from Carol. She smiled a little at Lori who was handing her a small bowl of food. "Thank you." She whispered to her as she took the fork from her as well. Lori nodded and sat down between Carol and Rick. The whole group sat there in silence, eating their food, not sure what they should talk about. Shane was glaring at Rick and Lori and Glenn kept glancing at the Greene house. It was obvious none of them really wanted to be sitting there. Carol shook the negative aura off and glanced over at Daryl, him just being near made her feel better.
Daryl felt Carol's eyes follow him all the way over to the fire where he sat down across from her. They drifted away from him and he finally looked at her. In the firelight he could truly see her. He saw the frown on her face that showed her distaste of everything around her. He saw the sorrow in her eyes at the loss of her daughter. And he saw the healing process of him just being near her. He knew he'd look too long so he looked back down at his food just as her eyes flicked up to look at him. He knew it hurt her that they never made eye contact, but if he did that she would truly see him, and he did not want to be seen. He knew she would know everything, feel everything that he was. And he did not want that. Or did he?
Author's Note:
Sorry if this chapter seems boring, I'm just setting it all up.
But, I do hope you enjoyed it and come back for more.
Please continue to read it and review it!
Yours Truly,
~Daryl-Dixons-Gurl~