Substitute
A/N: Hey guys!! Hehe. I wrote a 2nd one shot. For the people that reads my other stories, I know I haven't updated yet and I'm sorry! It's all because when I finished typing I clicked the x button and when it asked me if I was going to save it, I accidentally clicked no. And heck that 11 pages!! It took me 9 hours to finish that chapter!! Argh.. So I felt lazy doing it all over again. It was 2 am!! That is why, I think I'm going to be delayed. Sorry!!
Oh and yeah, It is Mikan who is saying all this stuff. Try and guess who she is referring too^^
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Argh. Huhuhuhu!!! I didn't know that liking someone can make you… such a horrible person.
So selfish.
Inhumane
Are you guys aware of what a substitute is?
Well I am.
It's like a fill hole. That you are only wanted when needed. But in romantic kind of way. Just a cover up, a substitute lover.
Do you guys know how it feels to be a substitute lover? Yeah, I know, it hurts like hell.
But I've never really experienced being a substitute because… I'm the one. I'm the one who uses a substitute lover. I'm guilty of that.
You must really think that I'm awful.
But I don't blame you.
I just feel horribly sad.
Just because I like some guy.
I know, I know. They are just guys. I'd rather concentrate on other things that would make me happy. Like going to movies and hanging out with my friends.
But unfortunately, I can't.
You know why?
Because once you start to like someone, you just can't control it!! And I hate that.
Even if you do hang out with your friends, you would just… space out.
And we all know why.
Argh…I hate the way he makes me feel this way. I hate it. I hate it!!
I hate how he makes himself sound so important in my world, it sucks!!!
For all I know… I'm just a friend to him.
A good old friend.
I hate how he makes me sound so pitiful. I just hate it.
That is why I need somebody to care for me. Somebody!!! I feel so alone right now. I wanna cry!!
But I won't.
You're not worth his tears if you're not worth his heart.
That's why.
I read that quote somewhere in the internet and I realized… It's so true.
Just why is this world unfair?
Argh damnit.
I'll stop now.
I really hate how he is able to do this to me.
To make him sound so important, to make me sound so pitiful, I just hate it!!!
That is why, I need someone.
Someone who I'd be able to hang out with when he's not there. Someone who can temporarily make me feel happy in the romantic type of manner.
Because as a friend, he really do can make me feel happy.
I can't believe this.
I'm just a lousy loser.
I use people.
Unforgivable.
So hateful.
Because of what I'm doing, they exist.
Substitutes exists.
I'm sorry..