A/N: This is a joke. Don't take this seriously.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All actions presented in this story are a work of fiction. Copyrighten characters are the property of Alex Hirsch and the Disney Incorperation with no copyright infrigement intended.
Soos was in the kitchen, holding a boquet of flowers in one hand. He was really nervous. Why are you so nervous?
He really liked this girl. Scratch that-He loved this girl! Everytime he went around her, his heart felt very happy, but the thing is, Everytime he tried to talk to her, he'd get really nervous; he'd sweat, stutter, and drift away from the conversation.
He reliezed that it was either talk to her now or don't talk to her and get no where with the relationship he so desperatley wanted with her. He approached the refrigerator, which is where the love of his life resided.
He started to walk there. When he got to the door, he stopped in his tracks. His stomach felt very empty. He was very scared.
After a few minutes, Soos finally was able to encourage himself to just do it, 'cause, YOLO and stuff. He took a deep breath and with a shakey hand, grabbed the handle of the refrigerator and pulled it open. Right there, sitting on a white plate, was a taco.
Soos started to sweat. "Uh. . . h-hi Taco. . . " Soos stuttered. "Nice day we're having, isn't it?"
The taco stood motionless.
"I agree." Soos replied. "So uh. . . I'm not sure if you knew this but. . . I-I. . ." Soos paused, "I like you. And I'd like to know if you'd like to go on a date with me. So, would you?"
The taco stood motionless.
"You would?!" said Soos in surprise. "Taco, you make me the happiness man on Earth!"
Soos picked up the taco and begun to kiss it.
"Uh. . . Soos?" Stan had just entered the kitchen. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, boss!" Soos said. "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend!"
Soos showed Stan the taco.
Stan grabbed the frame of his glasses, lifted it, squinted, then put them back in place. "Soos," Stan said, "that's a taco."
Soos gasped, not believing what he just heard. "Stan, how dare you call my waifu 'a taco'?! Taco is just like every other person. I can't believe how cruel society can be to someone just because they're 'weird'." Soos turned to the taco. "Don't worry, honey. You're not weird- you're just unique."
A perplexed Stan slowly back-walked out of the kitchen.
Dipper and Mabel were in the hallway. Stan told them "Kids, I would like you to stay as far from Soos has possible."
Dipper asked "Why?"
"Just. . . because. . ."
The End