Before you read this fanfic be aware that:
if you haven't read Funbari no Uta, this fic is full of spoilers. So go read it now
We do not own Shaman King or Funbari no Uta. If we did there would be a lot more YohXAnna scenes and Hana wouldn't have been left alone.
Don't wanna miss a thing
A fanfic by RavenAk and Smart Angel
Chapter 1
After six years they finally made it, they were finally back, back to the inn, back home, back to their little son. It didn't seem real, after six long years they would see their little son, Hana.
Yoh and Anna had been waiting for that moment for so long. Now they were both standing in front of the Enn Inn. Their home. The home of their son. It was hard to believe that, just in the other side of those doors, a new life was waiting for the couple.
"Are you ready?" He asked his wife in excitement, and she nodded smiling. He tried to imagine how the baby he once knew would look like now, and holding onto that thought, he didn't hesitate as they walked straight to the Inn
Meanwhile, not too far away from there, the reason why they had returned, their most beloved treasure, Hana, was also lost in his thoughts, a different kind, though.
"What is it, little boss? Why so down-headed? Aren't you glad we completed our mission?" Hana's 'uncle', Ryu, asked him after noticing the face the child had been carrying all along since they returned from their little journey.
"I think mom is going to kill me anyway..." He said a little teary-eyed, a blue aura around him as he spoke. "...She said five, five warriors. We only got four and we don't even know where the other one is..."
"Oh, but you don't have to worry about that... How were we supposed to find him if we don't even know who he is?"
Hana looked him straight in his eyes with an extremely serious expression for a six year-old.
"You have that look again... You're making me nervous." Ryu said and then he laughed, trying to make the pressure go away.
"You're lying."
But it wouldn't go away so easily...
"Ly-lying?"
"Yes. It's just like when I ask you about my father, you say you don't know anything but when I look into your thoughts you're just repeating to yourself 'Don't think about it, don't let it slip' over and over again! Why are you hiding things from me?"
"Little boss... I've told you it's not ok to look into people's thoughts, you just end up hurting yourself because you don't understand many things about an adult's mind." He spoke as sincerely as he could, because he really cared about that kid, and he worried a lot about him too.
Sure, it was problematic dealing with a kid who could read minds, especially for someone who had to keep so many secrets as he was, but he had had six years to get used to it, and all he could really do was repeat in his mind 'Don't think about it, don't let it slip' to stop Hana from knowing the awful truth and hurting himself.
"... It's him, isn't it?" Hana answered after a short silence. Who was what? Did he find out? Did Ryu let anything slip? It was impossible!
"Who? What are you talking about, Hana?"
"The fifth warrior is my father, isn't he? That's why you were having the same thoughts when I talked about any of them. And for some reason you don't want me to find him."
'Smart kid... I couldn't expect any less considering who he comes from...' Ryu thought, and this time he didn't care if Hana was reading his thoughts, for it was some sort of compliment for him.
"I was right!" Hana smiled widely, his hand punching the air, considering himself victorious at least partially. "But I will find it out one day. I'll find my father so he and the other four can do whatever mom has planned, and I'll do it all by myself!"
Ryu smiled too. Hana was so innocent, smart and cute. "Yes, little boss, you will. Now let's go home, shall we? Your mom will be really mad if we arrive late."
As the couple opened the gate that led to the garden, they saw nothing different. Everything seemed the same as 6 years ago; but at the same time, they knew it wasn't. Somewhere in this house was their little son. Hana lived there; Hana had grown up there. Sure, they could never go back all those years, but they would not miss one day of Hana's life from now on. They would finally be a family… Just like it should have been before.
They walked past the garden and opened the door. In front of the doors was a wooden sandal… That was Tamao's. They could tell. By the side were two indoors slippers… A big one, and a little one.
Anna went down to her knee and took the slipper in her hands. Those were his slippers. Hana's slippers… She tried to hold her smile but it was impossible. It was like she finnaly realized how close she was to see her little son.
"His feet…" she looked up to her husband, and then back at the slippers. "They are so small… It's like…"
"He's not here. " Yoh interrupted. Anna looked surprised. She could notice he was a little disappointed "He is not here… He is out now…"
"Maybe he is in school or something." She answered. It was funny how at that moment, Anna was being the positive one, and not Yoh "He's about 6 years old… He goes to school already. Now this way is better… We can surprise him."
"You're right!" back to his usual self "We will surprise Hana! And we can take this time to learn more about him, right?"
Anna only nodded. She was about to answer something when they heard footsteps coming from the kitchen and going on their direction.
"Who is there?" asked a female voice "We are not open yet" yelled the voice, coming closer "If it's Hana and Ryu you better have… "
The voice stopped once its owner was standing right in front of the couple. Tamamura Tamao couldn't believe her eyes. Right in front of her was Yoh and his wife Anna. Her breath stopped, her eyes were wide open, the towel she was holding in her right hand fell on the floor. She was speechless.
"Nice to see ya too Tamao." Greeted Yoh with his always cheerful smile.
"Master Yoh…" that was the only thing Tamao could say… She couldn't believe her eyes. She knew they would come back soon… But… She didn't knew it would be that soon! She wasn't ready… But… There they were… Right in front of her… Not knowing anything that happened in the past 6 years.
"You look great Tamao… Aren't you going to invite us in?" asked Anna, a little annoyed. Sure, they were away for 6 years, but letting them stand there on the door with no slippers to go inside their own home was just rude.
"I… I'm sorry… Please… Come in…" Tamao said, bowing so she could apologize.
A smile appeared on Anna's lip "You look different but you are still the same inside…" She looked back at the slippers in her hand "I believe Hana isn't home yet…"
"Oh… No, he isn't… I told him and Ryu to… To do a favor… They'll be back in a while." she said, Tamao was getting nervous. She needed to tell them what happened before Hana came in… She needed to tell them now. "Please Master Yoh… Miss Anna…. Follow me… I… I'll serve some tea… And fill you in on what happened during these years…"
Tamao didn't realize it, but what she said made Yoh and Anna really sad. They loved their son so much… He meant their lives to them… They would do anything to have him smile… They knew they were away for so long… But to know that they needed to be filled in Hana's life… It made them so sad…
Tamao guided them to the living room, where it had a tea table. Yoh and Anna sat down and waited for Tamao to come back with 3 hot teas. They looked around the living room. Nothing different. At least the house wasn't different…
Tamao came in with the tea and served it. She sat across from them and looked at them, before taking a deep breath. "Hana sleeps in your room Miss Anna…" Tamao started "I figured you would move in master Yoh's room, so I gave him yours…" she took out something she was holding and showed it to them. It was a picture. A picture of Hana. He was in the garden, playing. He was in a big tree, hanging from his legs. His arms were in the air and so was his blond hair. He had pale skin and a big smile across his face. He had a few bandaids, but that only showed how much he liked to run around and do this sort of things. "We took that last month…" she said quietly, handing the picture.
Yoh took the picture and looked at it. Anna was speechless. She could feel tears forming in her eyes… It was her little son… Her little baby… She could remember when he fit in her arms perfectly… He was so big… He seemed so happy…. Yet, she never shared that happiness with him… Anna never shared any moments of his life with him… The happy moments he wanted to tell his parents, the sad moments when he was upset about school… All those moments he needed her, she wasn't there… 'Well that's going to change…' she thought, cleaning her tears with her hands 'From now on… I will never leave him… I'll work hard so he can love me and trust me… I'm not going to give up'
Yoh's reaction wasn't any different from Anna's. He was so happy... A goofy smile appeared in his lips. His little boy… Little Hana wasn't a baby anymore… No… He was now a 6 years old kid with lots of energy. Yoh could already see him and Hana playing around the house and Anna yelling at them not to break anything… His mind raced, thinking of different things he wanted to do with his little boy. He also couldn't believe how Hana looked so much like him and Anna at the same time.
"He looks a lot like you Anna…" said Yoh, still smiling "He is pale just like you… And his hair looks like a short version of yours!"
"He looks quite a lot like you too Yoh…" Anna said, still looking at the picture "Hana has your smile, your face… I think from now on you will act more like a child than an adult and I will have to take care of Hana AND Yoh… "
"Hana has also both of your personalities…" Tamao said, taking their attention "He is really lazy; But he also has a short temper. And he is… Really cute…" a smile appeared in her lips "Sometimes… It feels like neither of you never left."
Silence surrounded them for a few seconds, while each of them remained lost in their own thoughts, until Yoh finally broke it.
"We really don't know how to thank you enough for everything you've done so far with Hana... And we want you to know that, we will do anything to try to make it up to you, although nothing we do will ever be enough compared to what you've done."
"Yes, we'll always be in debt." Anna added nodding in agreement. "We really owe you a lot, so whatever you need in return to your favor, we'll give it to you."
"That's very... thoughtful of you, but..." Tamao's voice broke as she held her tea cup tighter, her head down. "I'm the one who owes you, because..."
Then they could see some tears forming in her eyes as she put her cup on the table and put her hands on her lap, forming some small fists.
"Because..." Yoh tried to help her continue.
"Because... What I did... It was wrong, and it's just my fault... But..." The tears started falling slowly as she started to find it hard to talk any more.
"What happened? What did you do? Did anything happen to Hana?" Anna asked starting to get worried.
"No, Hana is okay... But... I..." She started breathing heavily, trying to hold back the tears with no success, desperately trying to talk, to just tell the truth already before it got even worse. She could feel their stares on her face, although she was looking down. She had captured their entire attention, which was her intention, but she never wanted this terrible suspense and this urge to run away. "How do I even start?"
"Just try to start from the beginning, but please don't leave us hanging like this..." Yoh tried to help her, wondering what the suspense was due to. He put his cup on the table and looked straight at her, like he pretended to get the information out of her eyes.
"Well, when you left..." She said as she dried the few tears that had managed to fall. "I could notice that Hana was felling anxious, he was always searching for something, he didn't sleep well, he cried... He missed you both so terribly, and I felt so sorry for him..."
More tears started to appear as she tried to keep herself together. The two people sitting in front of her had both sad looks as they listened what she had just said. They had left their little child, alone, abandoned and confused. They felt guilty about it, although they never meant to. But now they felt guilty and also puzzled, because they didn't understand why she was apologizing and crying so hard... What had happened?
"... I thought with time it would get better, but... he just started to cry even more and he didn't want to eat, or sleep, or anything at all. I was so desperate, I didn't know what to do, all I did was pray that you would be back soon to fix it, but you didn't, and I..." She put a hand on her forehead, as it could help her release the tension, the tension of the secrets and the lies...
"What did you do to him?" Anna asked in an icy tone, a tone that would always scare the poor Tamao, one that she would never get used to, one that could send shivers through her spine, like some sort of torture to make her tell the truth.
"I..." She couldn't take it anymore. She would talk, even if she got killed,even if it meant the end of the world. Talking was much better than taking in the tension and the pain that it represented. "One day, I... I pretended to be you, Anna-san... I dressed up and acted as if I were you to see if that would keep him calm, and it worked..."
She took another big breath and tried to stay calm, but her hands were shaking, for this was the hardest part of the story. She kept her eyes closed as she spoke, preparing to receive whatever had to come."It was as if all he needed was his mom to be around, he was happy again, and his behaviour was back to normal. The problem was, that when I returned to my usual self the cycle started again... I couldn't take it anymore, he was so unhappy and I was too... So I... decided to stay that way... It was the best for everyone..."
"So... What you're trying to say is..."
"Hana has always believed that I am his mother." She closed her eyes tighter and hid her face behind her hair, feeling the pressure filling her body, waiting for the reaction to come, for the pain.
Anna's eyes got wide. She couldn't believe her ears. Her son had no idea who she was. He thought that the woman in front of her was his mother! On her way back she thought the worst that could happen was Hana hating her. Now she didn't have to worry about that… Her child didn't even know who she was! She could never imagine that her own child was living a lie during all these years! This was a lot worse than what she had imagined. How would Hana react when he found out? How would he react to the fact that his real mother was away for all those years and now she was back and about to change his life forever? Was he going to accept her? Was he going to accept Yoh? Was he ever going to see her as his mother? Those were the things wondering in Anna's mind.
"Tamao, do you have any idea what you have done?" asked Yoh in a unusual serious voice. He also couldn't believe what he had just heard. He knew that it wouldn't be simple to talk to Hana at the beginning. He knew that Hana would feel awkward to talk to his parents for the first time… Maybe even blame them for leaving and take some time to forgive them… But now it was a whole different story. Hana never knew his parents were away! For him his mother was a 19 year old woman, and his father was God knew who. Everything Hana believed to be true was a lie. They would have to ruin everything. Gosh, what will they do?
"I-I know… I-I'm sorry!" Tamao was getting even more nervous "I-I didn't know what to do! Hana… Hana wouldn't stop crying! I-I thought it was for the best if… If Hana thought I was his mother and… And so I decided to… To lie to him."
"YOU WHAT?!" yelled a child's voice from the door.
They all turned to the door and saw Ryu standing at the door with a little boy by his side. Ryu was looking at Tamao like he was saying I'm sorry.
The boy wasn't too tall but also wasn't too short. He had a blond, dirty, messy hair. His skin was pale and he had big dark eyes. His clothes were dirty and he had a few band-aids in his arms and legs. In his right hand, he was holding the futsu no mitana.
There was no need to ask who that boy was. It was pretty obvious to both Yoh and Anna that the boy standing in the door was their little son. He looked shocked. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open. Now they knew Tamao wasn't kidding.
"Mother…" he said, getting close to Tamao. He didn't know, but Anna felt like the world had fallen apart. "Please, tell me that's not true."
No answer came from Tamao.
"Mom!" he called again. And again, no answer came. The boy turned to his uncle, a little teary-eyed "Ryu!"
"I'm sorry little boss…" Answered Ryu. He turned his head so he wouldn't see the boy's eyes. It really hurt to see that boy who he cared so much for like that. "But it's true… That was what I was keeping a secret during all these years…" Ryu took a deep breath before looking at Yoh and Anna, who seemed just as furious and sad as Hana. 'They do look alike' "Those…" he pointed to Yoh and Anna "Those are your real parents."
"Hana…" Yoh tried to call his son, but it was in vain. Hana didn't even turn around to look at his father. He just ran upstairs, holding back some tears.
"Does it really seems like this was for the best?" asked Anna, with an icy tone, now looking at the girl in front of her.
"I-I'm sorry…" Tamao could feel tears in her eyes.
"Felling guilty won't help!" yelled Anna, standing up "Does it really seems like Hana, MY son is happy because of your stupid lies?!"
"Miss Anna… Please calm down…" Ryu stepped between the two "Tamao really cares for Hana… She was just trying to help."
"Hana is now locked in his room crying… Well, that was a great help! " she yelled at her again "What were you…" but somebody interrupted her.
"Instead of arguing how about we go upstairs and calm Hana down?" it was a rhetorical question. Yoh was just as furious as Anna, but arguing would help Hana at that moment.
They all went upstairs heading to the direction of Anna's old room. The door was closed, and they could hear a low cry.
"Hana…?" called Tamao while knocking on the door.
"Leave me alone!" yelled the boy from the other side.
"Little boss, please, listen to us." This time it was Ryu calling.
"Why should I? You lied to me during all these years!"
"Hana… Please, let's talk." Now it was Yoh, trying to choose the right words.
"Just go away…" his voice was now very low.
"Can you see what you've done?!" Anna yelled at Tamao as loud as her anger made her, while she just stood there with tears in her eyes, clearly ready to burst in desperation in any second. She never gathered enough strength to be able to take the pain in. "He doesn't want to come out, he won't come out, how could you...?"
She lifted her hand almost as a reflex to slap the poor woman in the face. It was the only way she knew to deal with her problems, whether they were desperation, anger, sadness, impotence, or a cocktail made of all the above. But before it hit its target, Yoh's hand was soon wrapped around her wrist to stop her, making her feel even more impotent.
"What are you doing?!" She asked him, clearly knowing the answer, but too desperate to care.
"This is not the time for these things." He said seriously, still holding her wrist.
"What do you mean? Are you taking her side? I must remind you, Hana is your son too..."
"I know. And he's what matters the most right now, and always."
"Of course he's what matters the most. That's exactly why she deserves it!" She tried to justify the unconscious action she was just about to commit.
"How are we supposed to deal with him if we can't deal with ourselves? Just calm down. Let's give him some time to clear his mind and we return later. We'll be fine. Just... Just remember what we have been planning all along, with him, with us together. Think of that." He could feel how the tension in her hand was slowly disappearing, and so was the grip he had in her wrist. But now she had her head down and was breathing hard. She didn't know how to take it in just yet. "Hey, I feel the same way but... We can't break down like that. We must be strong. For him. For all of us, okay?"
"...Fine" She said after a short silence, trying to recover her hand. He let her go finally and smiled at her. A fake, yet hopeful smile. His trademark one.
"Why don't we all go downstairs and talk some more? We need to catch up on many things." Ryu suggested, trying to be as helpful as possible.
"Yeah, let's do that." Yoh answered quickly, wishing everything was just a bad dream...
Meanwhile, a heartbroken kid who was still locked in his room and swore to himself would never come out, remained crying over his whole life was a lie. Everyone had agreed to lie to him, why? Why would they want to do that to him? Was he that bad to deserve something like that? He never thought he was an unwanted kid, he simply thought his father was away or had died, and his mom just had a bad temper... But it was a different story. His mom wasn't his mom, she was a different person. And his dad wasn't gone by himself, his mom had gone too. So maybe neither of them ever loved him... Maybe nobody loved him at all.
"Hana-dono..." He heard the sound of a voice he knew very well, he was the only one that would speak to him in such a polite way, the only one that respected him... possibly, the only one who knew him, the only one who could comfort him in that moment. "...Is something wrong?"
"Ah..." The kid replied trying to hide all emotion, as he quickly wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "Matamune... Nothing's wrong..."
But Matamune wouldn't be fooled so easily. He had been Hana's guardian spirit ever since the kid could remember, before he could even speak, and since the two had always been around each other, they had developed a bond in which they could feel what the other was feeling without needing words. Hana was obviously lying... Something was very, very wrong... but he wouldn't admit it just like that.
"Mmm... I think you're not telling me something..." Matamune said as he came closer to the bed, trying to meet Hana's eyes, but they were still hiding in the pillow, along with the rest of his face. "Don't you trust in me anymore?"
"I don't know..." And with that, Hana finally stopped crying for real and turned to look at him with a sort of icy stare... a strangely familiar one. "Should I?"
"Mm?" Matamune tilted his head to a side trying to comprehend that strange scene. What in the world was wrong with that kid?
"I have found it out already..." He said trying not to cry again. "The truth."
"The... truth?"
"Yeah, the truth. The truth about my mom, about my real parents, about myself... I really don't know if there's anyone I can trust anymore."
"Hana-dono..."
"You knew it, too, didn't you?! You've known it all along! But you chose to lie to me, you lied just like everyone else! I thought you were my best friend, why did you lie too?!"
"Hana-dono, I..."
"Don't you dare tell me you didn't know anything, I'm not stupid! You're with them in this, aren't you? You've always known it but you chose to lie! Everyone lied! Neither of you ever cared for me at all!" And just when it seemed like he was gonna break something, he stopped right there. He felt as if he was losing grip and a huge pain accumulated in his chest. It wasn't just the emotional pain, but... he could literally feel it in his body. He stopped to breathe for a moment and Matamune took this chance to speak his point.
"You're right about something. We all lied to you, and yes, we all agreed to it, but you're wrong about something as well. We didn't choose to hide the truth because we don't care about you... On the contrary, we did so because we didn't want to hurt you."
"No, you're lying again! If you had done it for my own good, why does it hurt so much right now?" Hana tried to fight the tears back but it was almost unbearable. And the pain in his chest was increasing the more he spoke.
"We never meant for you to find out this way... We just didn't want you to suffer."
"Shut up, I don't have to listen to you!" He made an effort to get up and gathering all the strength he had in his little body, he opened his room's window.
"Hana-dono! What are you doing?"
"Leave me alone, I don't want to know anything about any of you. I don't wanna have anything to do with this family!" And saying that, Hana jumped out of the window and ran away from the Inn, with Matamune following him.
"I already told you I don't wanna talk to you... Stop chasing me." Hana said to Matamune once he had found a road to walk tranquilly, a place he considered safe to walk on after so much running.
"As your guardian spirit it's my duty to be by your side at all times..." Hana pretended not to hear Matamune's words and he kept on walking. His attitude was that of an arrogant, rebelious teenager, but he was just a six year-old kid with a broken heart and a really puzzled mind. Then he suddenly stopped and turned around to talk to the nekomata.
"Matamune... What side are you on? You've always been my guardian spirit, you've taken care of me, you've protected me, you've been my friend... But at the same time, you've kept an important secret from me, and you've behaved just like nothing! What do you really want?"
"What I really want... is to keep those who are dear to me all tranquil and happy."
"That doesn't say much..." Hana said annoyed as he clasped his hands in the back of his head and kept on walking, realizing he was just passing by a children's playground. It was a sunny day and all the kids were having so much fun... None of them was alone. They all had friends, brothers, sisters, cousins or parents... Some of them had it all. And what did he have?
He walked by it a little faster but the children's laughing could reach his ears. He stopped again and looked. A child was running towards his mom and she was hugging him so dearly, like she had missed him so much, even if she had probably been around the whole time. They both looked so alike and seemed to be so happy with each other. They both had brown hair and big brown eyes... you could even say they had similar haircut. No one could deny they were mother and son... But what about him? Not only his mom would never be so happy when receiving him in her arms, she didn't treat him with any sign of familiarity... Because she wasn't. Hana made small fists in his hands as the pain in his chest grew even more and the memories returned...
"Hana... Let's go home."
It was just the end of another normal school day. The only difference about it was that in that particular day, it was raining, and since Hana had left his umbrella at home, his mom had gone to pick him up at school, for the very first time.
"Mom!" He yelled happily as he got up from his spot to go to her, but she just stood there holding her umbrella with her same old emotionless face.
"Oh, Hana, is that your mom? I had never met her." A girl from his class asked him.
"Yeah she is." He answered smiling happily. He was glad that his mom called attention between his classmates.
"Oh... You don't look like her at all... And she looks so young as well." She remarked and then left, because her own mom had picked her up as well. Hana looked in that direction and noticed the girl's mom affections towards her, and how much alike they were.
"Hana! Are you moving or what?!" Tamao yelled at him as he hurried up to meet her and she gave him his own umbrella, and they both walked in silence towards home...
That girl had been right all along. They didn't look like relatives at all, and they didn't act like relatives either, but all that time Hana had comforted himself thinking that maybe he looked more like his dad, whom he had never met... He had comforted himself on a lie.
A laugh took Hana out of his thoughts. He looked around to find where it came from, and saw a little boy playing around with his father. They were so happy playing together. Even their thoughts were happy and full of joy. Happy thoughts, big smiles, laughter... All that made Hana sick.
Hana started feeling hate growing inside him. Hate and sadness. Why did he feel that way? Why did all that laughter and happiness bother him so much? Was it because all the kids playing around him had something he did not? Was it because... They were all happy playing with their parents? Was it because... His parents didn't care fore him?
Yes. That was it. His parents didn't care. If they did care for him, they would not had left. They never did care for Hana. Neither did Ryu or Tamao. No one did. And staying here and seeing all those kids with their parents, hearing all their damn happy thoughts... All that made Hana so angry. He never knew that kind of joy. He would never know how that feels.
Hana stopped walking. He looked down, but couldn`t see. His eyes were being covered with tears. Why couldn`t he have a normal family? Have a normal family and have normal parents? He was never really social because of his powers. And kids always made fun of his hair, because it was so blond and different from his mother's. Hana knew those were problems he would have to face as a shaman, but he never imagined his problems could get more complicated than that. How wrong he was.
"And I thought... " he said to himself, while cleaning his tears "Asakura Hana never cried..."
"Hana-Dono..." called Matamune from behind.
"You know what? Forget them!" Hana yelled, eyes full of hate "Forget all of them! Forget my mother, my father and all of those who lied to me! I don't care anymore! They could just drop dead for all I care!" with that, Hana started running away from Matamune.
Tha happy thoughts of the children and their parents invaded him at that moment. He stopped with the impact of so many thoughts coming at once. Never had his power been that strong. He could read thougts and feelings from people who were miles away. And he couldn't make it stop!
"AAAARRRGHHHHH!!!!" the boy yelled as he fell on the floor, holding his ears. Why was that happening? And why only happy and joyful thoughts were invading his mind? Why was everybody so happy when he was in so much pain? Why was everyone ignoring him? Didn't anyone care? Not at all?! Not even his parents...? Not even... A little bit?
"Hana-dono!" Matamune yelled and started to run rowards his best friend. He knew what was happeing. He feared that for so long. Hana had finally lost control of his power.
"I told you to go away Matamune!" Hana yelled, not looking at the nekomata. "You can go back to the Inn and stay there with those idiots who abandoned me!"
"Hana-dono..."
Hana closed his eyes as more thoughts invaded his mind. Why was that happening to him? Wasn't he already suffering enough with the fact he just found out that his whole life was a lie?
"Little boy..." called a concerned voice, looking at Hana with worried eyes "Are you okay?" she asked. But Hana could read her mind. She wasn't really worried about him. She knew he was a member from the Asakura family, and she knew how wealthy the Asakura family was. She just wanted to help Hana so she could have some kind of reward later.
"Mother!! Come quck! Look what I can do!" called a little boy.
"In a minute sweetie..." she said with a sweet smile on her face, then she turned back to Hana. "Are you okay? Do you want me to call your parents?"
It was a mistake to mention his parents. Hana hated them. Hate? How could he hate someone he just met? He didn't know the answer. But he knew one thing for sure. He hated his parents. And he couldn't forgive them. He could never forgive them. He would never forget this feeling. The feeling of being abandoned, of being hated, the feeling of living a lie for his whole life and having everyone he loved and trusted lying and fooling him for all those years. He hated them He hated them all!
"Leave me the hell alone!" he yelled. But it wasn't just for the woman. It was also for his parents, for Matamune and for all of the thoughts that invaded his mind.
With that, Hana rose to his feet and started to run. Run away from everything. He wanted to go some place where it was quiet and none of those happy and annoying thoughts could invade his mind and make him feel worse than he was already.
"Hana-dono! Wait!" Matamune yelled. He needed to inform Yoh-sama and Anna-sama right away. But he couldn't leave Hana. If things continued like that... "The incident in Osorezan will be repeated."
With that in mind, Matamune followed his young master. He still remebered when the little boy was just a baby. He remembered how he felt when he saw Hana for the first time. He also remebered the day Anna-sama left.
It was raining. Anna-sama wanted to make the crying baby sleep before she left. But she couldn't. The weather was just getting worse, and little Hana wouldn't stop crying. Anna-sama had no choice. She gave the little boy to Tamao, and looked at him with teary-eyes and a sad smile. Hana stopped crying for a second, and tried to touch his mommy. Anna-sama's smile grew a little bit, and she held his hand and then kissed it. "Mommy will be right back, okay Hana-chan? And when she comes back, daddy will be with her..."
"Da... Da..." said the little boy, making Anna-sama smile and tears started to come out from her eyes "Dada will be here with Mommy... And we can finally be one happy family."
She kissed the forehead of her son goodbye, grabbed her bag, and left. Since that day Hana cried every night there was a thunder storm. Hana didn't know why, but Matamune knew. Hana missed Anna. Hana wanted his mother. And Hana was afraid of being left behind again. When thunder storms came, Hana would cry and ask Matamune to stay by his side the whole time. He didn't want to be abandoned again. And Matamune would never do that. Not to his little master. Not to his best friend.
"Hana-dono!" Matamune tried to call him again, but it was in vain. Hana continued to run.
They were now in the forest. Matamune could see some lost souls. That was bad. If Hana's power was so powerful as Anna's, it wouldn't take long until he attracted those lost souls and created an oni.
Hana continued to run. He noticed that some of the thoughts were fading away because of the distance. He realized then. All he needed to do was to continue running. Run until he was far from everything and everyone. Too far for the thoughts to reach him.
After some time running he found a big abandoned haunted building. The windows were broken, and the ceiling was falling apart. It was a very dangerous place. Around it was full of dirt and the grass was big and some flowers started to grow next to the door, covering the entrace. There was also a sign saying "Building in construction, be careful. SPK Company."
Matamune remembered that name from somewhere. Oh yeah... They were building something in this isolated area of Tokyo. All of the constructors died on a fire.
"Oh no..." Matamune said, realizing what was going to happen soon. There were many lost souls in that place. Hana would soon start to create onis. "I have to inform Yoh-sama and Anna-sama... Or else..." Matamune didn't want to think about that 'or else'. He needed to go. And fast.
Meanwhile, in the Inn, awkward silence filled the living room and the tension could be cut with scissors. No one really felt like talking, and if anyone dared, it wouldn't have satisfactory results... But Yoh needed to talk. He knew they all needed to. He had just met his child for the first time after all those years and he had seen him troubled and confused. He didn't have the chance to take a good look at him, to sit down and talk to him, to tell him how much he meant to him even if they knew little about each other... Everything happened so quick and... wrong. It was not at all the way he had planned it.
Yoh found himself drinking another cup of tea with Ryu and Tamao in front of him. She, trying desperately not to shake as she held her cup and looking down in shame. He, looking at different spots, but never at Yoh, like he was avoiding him, also in shame. Then he also started to look around and his eyes found Anna in a corner looking through some pictures. By the look on her face, they were Hana pictures. He knew it because it was an expression that had never existed on her before Hana came into their lives, and it only appeared when it was something about him... He didn't know exactly what it was, but he assumed it had something to do with becoming a mother. He smiled a little just for the heck of it, just because he was Yoh and he had to be optimistic. Just because he couldn't just stay there worrying and doing nothing about it.
"So... Is Hana always this... temperamental or just on given situations?" Yoh looked at everyone's reactions as he talked. It was a casual question, but since no one had dared to talk, it was strange and unexpected, so everyone turned to look and listen.
"W-Well... um..." Tamao cleared her throat. "He is usually calm but at times, when he has problems in school, he comes straight to his room and he doesn't even feel like eating."
"Problems in school?" Yoh asked curious but mostly concerned. He felt so weird and empty. His son had problems of different kinds and he had never been there to comfort him. He had great plans for him, he had thought that he would never, ever, let Hana have a childhood like he had... but apparently it was worse, and it was because of him, because of his abscence... Tamao lowered her head and went silent so Ryu spoke for her.
"Some kids there tease him because he's different. He can see spirits, he doesn't look much like his mom, he doesn't know his dad... They often tell him he's adopted, sometimes they even say he's an alien because he's strange and he doesn't look like anyone they know of..." Ryu spoke softly and hurt because of the kid's life. He was so young and he already had to go through so much... Anna put the pictures back in place not very delicatedly and returned to her seat next to Yoh, her hands turned into fists, biting her bottom lip as if she was holding back from choking someone to death.
"I can't believe he actually has to go through that..." Yoh said, noticing how low his tone came, feeling even emptier and colder. He couldn't help but remember his old childhood, and he remembered inmediately the countless times he promised himself he would never allow anyone to make his son feel like that. He had failed... He had failed to the most important promise in his life...
"And what have you done to stop that?!" Anna let it out at last, trying to blame those two in front of her for all the pain little Hana had to go through... or at least to make them say something, anything at all, anything that assured her Hana would be fine soon. How could they allow that? Didn't they care for him or what?
"I don't know what can I do... I have told him to stop talking about ghosts in front of other people, but he says he can't lie, and then they tease him again... If he only stopped..." Tamao argued teary-eyed.
"So now you're blaming him? He's a child, and you're supposedly his... mother... aren't you? What was the point of lying to him all along if it doesn't bring him any happiness, if it doesn't make his life easier?!"
"I'm sorry!"
"Anna-san, please..."
And the cycle started all over again. No matter what Yoh tried to do to stop it, everyone's emotions would eventually come out and crash against each other, leading nowhere. And his emotions were there too, he just refused to let them out...
"I think everyone should be quiet now and try to be at peace. It's been about an hour since Hana is in his room, he must be tired by now, right?" Yoh interrupted the discussion. "I say we should go check on him now, maybe he even fell asleep and all..."
"That won't be necessary, Yoh-dono."
"Matamune?" Yoh asked as he saw the kitten's figure on the door. It had been so long, and it seemed like something had happened to him, for he was all dirty and a little scarred, like he had been dragged in the dirt. "Matamune! Long time no see!"
"Everyone, I'm sorry to interrupt your discussion, but there's something important I need to tell you. Hana-dono is..."
Continue in Chapter 2
RavenAK: Hello out there! This is the first time we write a fic together and we're so excited to share it with you. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it. This fic is inspired in Funbari no Uta, and we wanted to make it in an attempt to explain the events that happened there, and give it a happy ending! Because Takei hates happy endings T.T
Smart Angel: Hi! So everything RavenAk said is true. In short, we love Hana, we love YohXAnna, but we hated the ending Takei gave to Funbari no Uta. We are angry fans trying to make this family happy because apparently Takei just hates making his characters happy. o.o And he likes to torture us, of course.