Warnings: crack, TWT?, PG for language
A/N: I really enjoyed writing this. Thanks go to Tegerah for helping me with the title and ideas (and apologies since I didn't credit you for something before) and to Living In A Fantasy for beta-reading for me. I do love you guys. I hope you enjoy!
Misa hung on Light's arm as they bought their tickets and then popcorn. She held the cup of soda in one hand as she held his arm in the other.
"Oh, Light," she twittered, "scary movies are so romantic."
The couple smiled and chattered as they entered the theater. Advertisements were still being run, so the lights were on, and the audience members were clearly visible. In the back sat a hunched, dark-haired man, his knees pulled up to his chest. Light stopped in his tracks.
L's voice drifted to him, "Oh, hello, Light."
Light turned and put on as amiable a face as possible. "Hello, L. What a surprise, meeting you here. Are you finally taking a break from the case?"
L shook his head. "No. I'm still on the case. I've been tracking your credit card and I noticed that you had bought tickets, so here I am. I'm doing research, of course."
How had he gotten to the theater past them without either of them noticing? How had he even gotten there fast enough?! Light repressed an exhausted sigh. "Yes, I see. Well, Misa and I are on a date, so we'll be taking our seats now."
L nodded, and the couple continued walking toward the front of the theater. Misa said wistfully, "It's so sad that Ryuuzaki is sitting there all alone..." But Light halted again, and Misa nearly dropped the soda. Mikami was in the audience. Light tugged Misa along. Maybe, if they just kept walking, he wouldn't notice that their names did not appear over their heads. Oh, he was being silly. The theater was dark! Or, so he told himself. Light and Misa took their seats close to the screen, but so that Light could still see Mikami, to the right and behind them, if he turned slightly.
Misa nibbled popcorn as the theater filled to roughly half capacity and the previews began to run. The lights had darkened. During the previews, Misa commented on certain characters and events and occasionally jumped, startled by the sudden larger-than-life movement and noises. A pair of bodies moved down the next aisle and past them, stopping almost in front of them. One was nondescript, in a stiped shirt with a pair of motor goggles around his neck. The other had shoulder-length, smooth blonde hair. The stripey one precariously held a container of popcorn, an iced drink, and a box of chocolate candy.
After they sat, the blonde one stuck out - her? - his hand. "Chocolate." The brunette handed him the box. Misa jumped as the surround sound activated. Light frowned. He hoped the film itself wasn't going to be this deafening. Suddenly, there was the gaunt face of L beside him.
Light jumped. "Ryuuzaki!"
"I decided you were correct. At least, about sixty-seven percent correct. I need a break."
"I never said that."
L sat. The movie carried on normally. Light relaxed. He was pessimistic at first, and after all that they'd run into, but he was actually beginning to find the movie interesting. His arm around Misa's shoulders, the girl occasionally snuggled against him, and her hand tightened around his if ever she became frightened.
However, it was Light who jumped when L opened his mouth to speak. "There is a ninety-six percent probability that she's going to open that door and sixty-five percent probability the monster will kill her." The audience hushed him.
L's chatter merely seemed to encourage Misa. Soon Misa was talking under her breath to the characters. "No... Don't go in there! It'll get you! Oh, my god... Are you kidding? You idiot!" The audience hushed her.
Light settled down again, and the moment of audience-silence allowed Light to absorb himself in the movie. But soon there was a murmur all about the people behind him. He turned to see streaks of red light to the right of them, and he stared. iDamn... Mikami?!/i Somebody complained, "Hey! No laser-pens in the theater!"
Slowly, the riff-raff died down once again. Light and Misa again lost themselves in the movie. Misa turned her head to face Light. "Light, I'm scared." Light held her more tightly. That's what she wanted, right? "Light..." Misa closed her eyes and leaned closer.
The movie became very quiet as he lead female walked down a deserted hallway. But in front of them, Misa and Light heard the high-pitched wail of the beginnings of a Pokemon battle. Misa stopped and turned to the source of the noise.
"What?" she complained softly.
Light tapped the stripey boy on the shoulder. "Excuse me..." The brunette turned around, wearing the goggles, and Light saw the glow of a handheld game in his lap. "Could you please keep that thing turned off during the movie?"
Mello turned to face Light. "What the hell! Can't you see we're trying to watch a movie, here?!"
"I'm sorry," said Light, rather irritated now. Arrogant little bastard. "I was just asking your friend here to keep his game quiet."
Mello turned back around. "God, Matt, can't even keep away from your games for a couple hours, can you..."
"It was getting boring..."
"Go out to the lobby and play, and get me some more chocolate, while you're at it..."
Their soft murmuring quieted down as Matt stood and passed in front of the couple, glowing screen still in his hands. Light didn't notice L's self-indulged smirk. As Matt walked down the middle of the theater, the Lavender Town theme playing all the way, people occasionally whispered angrily and teenagers threw popcorn kernels at him. He ignored them and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket with the intention of stepping outside to smoke.
"Excuse me," said a man in an annoyed tone from the back of the theater, "no laser-pens in the theater, sir." Light cringed, then turned to the side. Mikami was writing, forming wide arcs of red light as he did so. People began to whisper again. "Please be quiet in the theater," he continued. "Sir, please put your laser away."
Light sighed in relief as Mikami frowned and put the pen into his inside pocket. A young man a few seats away from him stared for a moment and then slumped over. Apparently he had been the one doing most of the whispering, as the theater quieted significantly afterward. Light grumbled, "Damn."
"What?" Misa questioned, staring at him. "Did you forget something?" L was staring from the other side, as well.
Light kneaded the bridge of his nose. "No, nothing," he said in a voice of exasperation. "It's fine."
The blonde person in front stood up suddenly and stomped out of the room like a diva experiencing PMS. Light stared in confusion at him as he left. He was mumbling, "Stupid Matt... Pokemon... chocolate..."
Light had just about enough of this mess. He could hardly enjoy the movie with all the ruckus that was occuring around them.
Then, the door opened slowly, and the whispering began again. In the doorway, light framing him, was a young, pale boy dressed in white. "Mello?" he called. "Matt? Where are you?"
"That's it!" Mikami burst. "I'm writing your name!"
Security guards emerged from the darkness and tackled Mikami to the floor of the aisle. Light stared. "Misa," he said, "we should get going." Misa was smiling at Light. iWhy is she not looking at the screen?/i The film credits were already rolling. He put on a nervous grin. "So how was the movie?" He hadn't even noticed Misa's hands around his arm until she let go, and he felt the prickling sensation of circulation.
"It was terrifying!" The pop-princess gleamed in gothic joy. "Let's come back sometime and see it again!"
"Ha. Great." He turned and waved. "Bye, Ryuuzaki."
"Bye-bye, Light-kun," answered the detective. "Good night to you both."
With that, they left the theater. Light prayed he could make Misa forget how much she liked the movie and that she wanted to see it again. He wanted to never set foot in a movie theater again in his natural-born life.