A/N: This is in response to a challenge on SkyFire's homepage. I saw it and
I had to do it. Here goes nothin': This is my first challenge fic. "Sauron
is lustfully pursued by Eowyn while eating lunch in Lothlorien."
The Great Evil son of a bitch named Sauron was chilling, attempting to decide where to eat lunch. He looked at the list of restaurants, and decided on the Lorien Café in the Elven realm of Lothlorien. He hitched up a horse, gathered up his Nazgul, and headed on over. He walked up to the desk and said, "Party of ten, smoking, please."
The gorgeous Elf waitress led them to their table and set menus down in front of them. They looked over it and placed their orders. They sat back and began to relax, chatting unconcernedly, when Sauron noticed a golden haired girl who was not an Elf looking at him. He stifled a groan. Eowyn. He'd seen her in the palantir. She'd been in love with Aragorn Elessar, that damned Ranger, and now she was. . .making eyes at him? Wait, wasn't she a good guy?
"Hey, baby," she said to him, sexily. Bitch was obviously drunk. "Nah, I ain't drunk." Damn, she wasn't either. No alcohol on her breath. "I just think you're hot!"
"Thank you, but we're a little busy here." He glared at his Nazgul, who were trying not to laugh.
"Well, come and see me later, then," she said sexily, winking at him as she walked off. Then the Nazgul did burst out laughing. Sauron flicked them off and they ate their meal. As Sauron was paying their bill, Eowyn came up. "Hey baby!"
Sauron screamed and ran off in the direction of Mordor, the Nazgul closely following him in case Eowyn tried her charms on them.
As he watched Sauron running off screaming, Aragorn stepped out of the shadows. "Well done, Eowyn," he said to her.
"Thank you. Do you think it worked?"
"If not, we'll just try again."
"When I'm done with him, he ain't gonna be no threat to anyone!"
Laughing, they went to find every one else.
The Great Evil son of a bitch named Sauron was chilling, attempting to decide where to eat lunch. He looked at the list of restaurants, and decided on the Lorien Café in the Elven realm of Lothlorien. He hitched up a horse, gathered up his Nazgul, and headed on over. He walked up to the desk and said, "Party of ten, smoking, please."
The gorgeous Elf waitress led them to their table and set menus down in front of them. They looked over it and placed their orders. They sat back and began to relax, chatting unconcernedly, when Sauron noticed a golden haired girl who was not an Elf looking at him. He stifled a groan. Eowyn. He'd seen her in the palantir. She'd been in love with Aragorn Elessar, that damned Ranger, and now she was. . .making eyes at him? Wait, wasn't she a good guy?
"Hey, baby," she said to him, sexily. Bitch was obviously drunk. "Nah, I ain't drunk." Damn, she wasn't either. No alcohol on her breath. "I just think you're hot!"
"Thank you, but we're a little busy here." He glared at his Nazgul, who were trying not to laugh.
"Well, come and see me later, then," she said sexily, winking at him as she walked off. Then the Nazgul did burst out laughing. Sauron flicked them off and they ate their meal. As Sauron was paying their bill, Eowyn came up. "Hey baby!"
Sauron screamed and ran off in the direction of Mordor, the Nazgul closely following him in case Eowyn tried her charms on them.
As he watched Sauron running off screaming, Aragorn stepped out of the shadows. "Well done, Eowyn," he said to her.
"Thank you. Do you think it worked?"
"If not, we'll just try again."
"When I'm done with him, he ain't gonna be no threat to anyone!"
Laughing, they went to find every one else.