A/N: Soooo this my new fandom, thanks to Rae D. Magdon and her glorious stories. I am a huge fan of Carmilla the web series (plan on getting the book) and I am a Hollstein shipper (ya know…if you couldn't tell). Just a short, bittersweet oneshot to curb my appetite until the next episode.

Disclaimer: I do not own either Carmilla or the characters. If I did I would make sure to talk to Elsie and Natasha on set every day because reasons. Seriously, how stinking adorable and hilarious are they?

It's the quiet moments you miss most, the introspective ponderings that only she could come up with. There was always some grand plan, someone that needed saving. Laura might have just been human but she was every bit a savior. Larger than life and full of words unspoken that she showed rather loudly with her actions.

Laura was sunshine personified, bright and all-encompassing. I always thought that if auras were truly real and not something fabricated for the good of a novel or television, hers would be yellow. Laura had questioned the color when I first told her, a cute little furrow between her brows.

"Why yellow? I mean, I like yellow as much as the next girl…" Laura's eyes slowly dropped to take in the head-to-toe black clothes covering my body as if painted on. "…or maybe not, but….why?" I had slowly cupped her cheek, my thumb brushing over the smooth skin of her cheek. Laura…was so beautiful. In my many years of life I had met an untold amount of beautiful women and many of them had fallen for my charms. Beauty had lost some of its connotation for me; every time I had thought I had found the most beautiful creature in the world, I was surprised and proven wrong. But when I laid eyes on Laura, I knew: I had found the woman to end all questions, the woman who showed me what true beauty was inside and out.

"Well, cupcake…you are yellow because you are reminiscent of the sun." Laura had smiled then, a tiny little thing that pulled up the corners of her lips and yet still hid those perfect teeth from view. "Is this the part where you say it is because I am burning up or hot...or maybe that one of these days I will implode and take the world with me? I'm not even going to mention ball of hot gas…that is a little offensive."

I had laughed then, her adorableness once again flooring me. She was always like this, never turning it off. Every day was an adventure, an escape into a dream I never wanted to wake up from. "You are like the sun…because you are the center of my universe. You are my grounding fore…my light. For so long I have been succumbing to my heritage, slowly slipping into the abyss that all vampires degrade to. Very few people actually want to be a vampire…not when they know what it truly entails, what it means. Salvation is what we all crave, and yet our very nature keeps that away from us. But you…you have given me that chance. You make me better as a person…I feel like I did before my first death. You mean everything to me, Laura."

The little smile was my second favorite thing in the entire world. My favorite? The beaming, full-on Laura smile I was currently bestowed. Moisture was shimmering in her expressive brown eyes and I had to suck in a breath as my heart shuddered in my chest. No matter how many years I lived, I would never get that image out of my mind. If Laura ever did implode, she'd take me with her.

That seemed like so very long ago, now. I could tell you the exact date and the exact time my heart left me, when my biological clock started clicking. I would not last much longer, that I knew. Had it been fifty years, a century since she had passed on to "greener pastures?" I could not say but I felt every single one like a stake through my heart. I have no idea why I never thought of this before…oh, right. Laura had pleaded with me to live, to enjoy life and move on. Naïve, provincial girl…she should know better. How can a planet live when there reason for being alive is gone? How can a plant live without water, or a baby without its mother? No my expiration date was set in stone the moment that ethereal light left her brown eyes. The sad part was I always imagined having to watch as Laura grew wizened with age, her brunette waves turning gray or maybe even white, wrinkles slowly parting the skin and laugh lines being visible instead of in my mind.

We never got the kids or the house with a white picket fence she insisted on. We had a nice little apartment and she had her job as an up and coming news reporter. But there is something in the world far worse than vampires, far worse than anything you could ever imagine…and it was not even a fraction of my size. Cancer.

I never got the agony of watching her age while I remained unchanged, or even have her change my mind about her vampirism and change her so we could be together always. Her cancer was swift and deadly and she was cold in my arms before I could even try to cure it with my fangs.

I had not visited her grave since she first passed many moons ago. I slowly walked up to it, looking at the pristine silver of the stone with her name engraved. Laura Elise Hollis-Karnstein. It was kept cultivated and like it had when I first laid eyes on it. The stone was cool to the touch, unlike the warmth Laura always exuded. Brilliantly colored flowers were arranged around it. It must have been LF and Perry's doing, or maybe even Danny and Kirsch. I had heard of them setting up a system so that fresh flowers were always put on her grave, even when they themselves passed on. I did not know if any of them were still living; they would be old if they were. But perhaps they had children that they had told and asked to bring them. I honestly could care less; after all, my body would not be needed after tonight.

I held up the small piece of wood in my hand, fashioned to look like the end of a fence picket filed to a point. It was funny; a vampire committing suicide. If her sister could only see her now….

I slowly sat down, my back against the slab. So impersonal, so…lifeless. Laura was bright and shone like a star. I could almost feel her heat now against my side and back, filling me with the joy that had left me when she was gone. I closed my eyes, imagining her arms around me and that blinding smile. Her lips brushing my cheek and her heart touching mine. The stake in my hand almost seemed to lift of its own accord. One last smile flittered on my face, genuine and full.

Welcome home, Carm.

…although, a stake, really? You always one for dramatics.