1.
"We're in the Bad Place? The forking Bad Place?!"
"I don't understand, how could I have gotten into the Bad Place...?"
"..."
"...Oh. Ohhhhh no, I understand now. I used almond milk, even though I knew it wasn't good for the environment."
"...I don't think that's cause for eternal damnation, dude. Look, it doesn't matter now. Michael is going to reset us any second, so we have to think-"
2.
"What do we do, what do we do?"
"Would you stop pacing? God, you're like a forking turtle."
"Eleanor, what do we do?"
"What can we do in thirty seconds before Michael resets us? Uh... come on, think, think...!"
"Wait, I have an-"
3.
"Are you afraid?"
"...Yes. Are you?"
"Of course I am. I just found out we're in forking Hell."
"Eleanor, how long have we been in this loop?"
"I don't know, man. If we can't remember any of them, we could've been through a dozen resets by now."
"...Do you think we meet in every one?"
"I really hope so."
"Me too."
4.
"There has to be a way for us to cheat the system."
"Eleanor, this is a celestial experiment. I think trying to cheat the system would severely backfire."
"So, what? We just get tortured for all eternity. Fork that. We have to fight back. It's better than being lab rats for demons for the rest of eternity."
"But how can we fight back if we forget every time we gain the upper hand?"
5.
"Don't be afraid."
"I'm not. At least we're facing this together."
6.
"I wonder if it hurts. Being reset."
"I guess we'll find out."
"...Give me your hand."
"Why?"
"It'll help. At least a little bit."
7.
"I guess this is goodbye. Again."
"I guess so."
"...Goodbye, Eleanor."
"Goodbye, Chidi."
"..."
"...Heh."
"What's so funny?"
"If I hadn't died and gone to the Bad Place... I never would've met the best friend I ever had."
8.
"Indecisiveness... I was sent to Hell for my indecisiveness..."
"It doesn't seem fair. I mean, I get why I came here, I was a jerk. But you? You're one of the best people I know."
"...I really wasn't. I tried to be good, but I failed. I... I can finally see that now... I belong here."
9.
"...Oh, God. The almond milk. That's why I'm here. I used almond milk and-"
"Chidi, shut the fork up."
10.
"Don't cry, Eleanor."
"I'm not."
"I'm looking right at you. Come here."
"Don't worry about it, Chidi. I'll stop in a second."
11.
"How can you be laughing at a time like this?"
"What the fork else is there to do?"
12.
"I don't care. Let him reset us. I just... don't care."
"No. No, Eleanor, you don't get to say that. Look, maybe neither of us were the greatest people on Earth, but we got better. We can do it again. We just... Not caring isn't an option. Okay?"
"...Okay."
13.
"Eleanor, before he resets us, there's something I need to tell you."
"What is it?"
"I... I..."
"..."
"...Never mind. It's not important."
14.
"I wonder how many times we've ended up here. You helping me... us becoming friends... me kissing you."
"Hey, how do you know I never kissed you first?"
"I've met you, dude."
"...Fair enough."
15.
"Chidi, quick."
"What?"
"We only have a few seconds, we need to kiss one more ti-"
16.
"Over 500 loops and we still haven't broken out. And in a few seconds, we'll forget again..."
"...I wonder if any of this was real. Janet... Tahani, Jason... Mindy... Are we the only real people here, Chidi?"
"I don't know. Maybe. I don't know what to trust. I can't even trust myself. I mean, look where that got me."
"...You can trust me..."
"...I know."
17.
"I can't believe this. All the work you put into making me better - helping me be a good person... and now it's all gone to waste."
"...Were you happy? At least for a moment, were you happier here than you were on Earth?"
"...Yeah. For more than a moment, actually."
"Then it wasn't a waste."
18.
"You know what the weirdest part of all this is?"
"What, Chidi?"
"In a way, I feel... lucky."
"Lucky?"
"If I hadn't died and come here, we never would've met."
"...Fork you, dude, now I'm crying and smiling at the same time. I hate that!"
19.
"Promise me you won't let go of my hand."
"I won't."
20.
"Fork all of this. Michael is going down. Maybe not now, but sometime - he can't keep resetting us forever."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I can't let myself think about the alternative. So, are you on board for Operation Fork Michael?"
"...You know what? Yes. Yes, I am. Let's see what he throws at us next."
21.
"For the Bad Place, I was actually... there were actually times when I was really happy."
"Me too."
"But now it's over, right?"
"...Looks that way."
"..."
"..."
"...See you next time, Chidi."
"See you."
22.
"There must be a way out of it. Every puzzle has a solution."
"This isn't a puzzle, Chidi. It's Hell. Ever hear the saying, Hell is other people?"
"Yeah, but that saying came from a play about four people trapped in Hell together - where, at the end, a door popped open. They had a way out, they just didn't have the courage to take it."
"...And you think we do?"
"I think we're more resilient than Michael thinks. There's-there's a way out of this, Eleanor. We just must have missed it somehow. I bet it's right in front of us, but we just can't see it..."
23.
"Do you think the others know? Jason and Tahani, I mean?"
"How do we know they're even real?"
"I want to believe they are. Because if they're not... it means it's just you and me."
"Is that really so awful?"
"No, but... it makes us feel so small."
"...I guess in a few seconds, it won't matter anyhow."
"...Yeah..."
24.
"I'll miss you, Chidi."
"No, you won't. You won't even remember me."
25.
"How many times has he reset us?"
"God, who knows?"
"...Eleanor, what if the next time, we don't find each other again?"
"We will."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do. I know, because I have to."
"...Eleanor, I love you."
"I love y-"