A/N: Oh, God, this was so painful to read. I finished it last May, and I forced my friends to read it. They still haven't forgiven me.
Natsu couldn't believe that this day was finally here. He was finally going to marry Lucy Heartfilia, the love of his life.
The Kardia Cathedral was all done up for the event. Natsu didn't care much for decorations, that was more Lucy's thing, but he had to admit that the girls had all done a great job. It really was beautiful, and he was happy that Lucy loved it.
As the procession of bridesmaids and groomsmen began to the accompaniment of a slow, pretty tune, Natsu was starting to get nervous and even a little afraid. He knew that he wanted this, though. Natsu loved Lucy with every bit of his heart and soul, and who was he to let a little fear get to him?
And then the music stopped. A few seconds later, it came again, but this time it was a different song: the wedding march. Everyone looked to the doors in the back of the room as they opened, revealing Lucy in her long, white dress. Natsu gasped and grinned widely. Lucy was beautiful- no, radiant! She looked so heavenly, like an angel. Lucy was grinning at him, as well, as she made her way down the aisle. Natsu never would've thought that something like a wedding would be such an important thing to him, but this was Lucy, for crying out loud! He had wanted everyone in Earthland to come, so that everyone could see him vow to spend the rest of his life with this perfect woman.
Finally, Lucy was with him at the altar. The priest was speaking, but Natsu wasn't paying attention to his words. Neither he nor Lucy could stop grinning, and Natsu could see that Lucy had happy tears in her eyes. It wasn't long after that that Natsu could feel his own eyes welling up. He wasn't one to cry, but he was about to marry this angel of a woman in front of him, the angel that he loved more than anything.
"Do you, Natsu Dragneel, take Luc-"
"Hell yeah!" There was a quiet chuckle in the audience, and Lucy silently laughed in front of him.
"Do you, Lucy Heartfilia, take Natsu Dragneel to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, through peace and through adversity?"
Lucy opened her mouth to speak, but before the words came out, everything went black. Everything disappeared, and in the next second, Natsu was in his bed, awakening from the dream.
He laid there for a while, not doing, saying, or even thinking anything. Then he groaned and sat up, face in his palms. "...shit..."
Happy must've already been awake, because a few seconds later, Natsu heard the cat's tentative voice.
"Natsu?"
Natsu looked up and saw the blue exceed hovering just in front of him, holding some toast in his paws.
"I... Uh... I tried to make you some breakfast..."
Natsu attempted a small smile. "I'm fine, little buddy. Don't worry about me. I'm just gonna be alone for a while." Happy looked worried for a bit, but then nodded, and flew to the kitchen with his toast again. Natsu stood up from the bed and put clean clothes on; Lucy would want him to at least be a little fresh. Then he was out the door.
It was raining out. Raining pretty badly, too. No normal person would be out in this weather, but it wasn't like the chill of the rain could bother him, anyways.
It should be sunny, Natsu thought bitterly. Lucy likes it when it's warm.
Natsu turned at a street corner. Today was an important day to be where he was going. Sure, he had been there just about every day that he was in Magnolia, anyways, but he especially had to be there today. It was July 3rd, X793.
The rest of her friends would be there later. At first, they had all gone every day, too, but eventually, the number of daily visitors had trickled down to one- Natsu. But they would come today. They always made sure to come today.
Natsu was soaked to the bone now, but he continued on. He turned at another corner and saw his destination. Natsu silently walked the rest of the expanse to the Kardia Cathedral.
Natsu walked through the gate that he had come through so often before. He would've done for Lucy as he had done for Lisanna in this situation, but there were so many great moments he and Lucy had shared, so many special places to them, that Natsu hadn't been able to decide on anything. So, it hadn't gotten done yet.
Walking among rows and rows of stones, Natsu finally came to the one. He didn't even have to look at the inscription to know he was at the right one, he visited so often.
He had been calm and mostly silent all morning, but now Natsu broke down. Floods of tears left his eyes and he fell to the ground, but he could barely manage a sob, his throat was so choked up. He wasn't this bad every day that he visited, but sometimes, he just couldn't stop it. He knew she would want him to smile, but it was too hard.
Finally, after a good five minutes of mostly silent crying, Natsu looked at the stone. He hated it, for more reasons than what it signified. The inscription was so plain, but it wasn't like he could've come up with anything better. Lucy was the one who could write.
"You'll forever be remembered," was what the stone read. "Lucy Heartfilia- July 1st, X767 to July 3rd, X789."
July 3rd of X783 had been the day they met, that time in Hargeon.
July 3rd of X789 had been the day they were supposed to be married.
But instead of a happy beginning to a new life together, July 3rd of X789 turned out to be the abrupt ending of Lucy's life, and without her, Natsu felt, for a while, like it had been his own ending, too.
They would have started their family by now. Lucy had wanted two kids- a boy and a girl, named Igneel and Layla. Natsu remembered those conversations fondly. He would oftentimes try to get Lucy to see why they should have three, or even four kids. Lucy always denied ever wanting more than just two. She had always said that Natsu would change his tune after dealing with two babies. Natsu would always deny that statement. He had really been excited to be a father, to start a family- with Lucy. And now that would never happen. They would never have kids together, two or otherwise.
It had happened just before Lucy should've said "I do." Natsu had felt so goddamn angry at himself. He should've been able to sense the danger. He should have been able to save her from the surprise attack from that dark guild.
Natsu remembered how he had become consumed with anger first. The rest of the guild was basically able to sit back and watch as Natsu wiped out the attackers. The pain and grief had struck later. He had scarcely left what had been he and Lucy's bedroom for an entire three days. After that, he was a working machine. In that same week, he had completely taken out six other dark guilds. Of course, he had been accompanied on these jobs by fellow guildmates, because for about two months, nobody would let him be alone. They were all afraid that he would do something stupid and irrational because of his grief. As if. Lucy would want him to be alive, so he had to keep going. For her.
For those two months, and even a little bit past that, when Natsu wasn't working, he was training. Natsu had later been told by Mirajane that his desire to train and keep working hard was probably his subconscious convincing him that if he became stronger, then Lucy could somehow return.
Despite his continuous training, Natsu hadn't challenged anyone in the guild to a fight, not even Gray, nor would he ever eat without being forced to, talk unless spoken to first, or even sleep unless he collapsed into it from exhaustion. Those were a bunch of the things that had made the guild scared of what he might do. Natsu was fine, now, though. While he still grieved over Lucy's death, he had figured out (after a couple of kicks in the head from Gray) that wallowing in depression wouldn't solve anything. He was back to his happy-go-lucky self most of the time. Most of the time.
Natsu was still crying as he was lost in his thoughts in front of the grave. July 3rd was always the worst day for his tears, because he should have been smiling. It should have been their wedding anniversary, not this kind of anniversary.
A/N: I'm so sorry. My friends probably should've just killed me, and then I wouldn't have been able to spread this depressing thing.