Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... nope... nada!
I give thanks to Bon Jovi for their song Runaway, Garbage for their song I think I'm paranoid, Tommy James and the Shondells for Crimson and Clover, but I think Joan Jett's version was better... yes this is a bit The Runaways and Twilight mix.
When ever I turn on the radio I'd have my mom search for that one song that makes me smile, the one song that I realize was meant for me, for us. I watched from the backseat as she smiled at my brother, Edward, in the front seat. He wanted to be a doctor just like dad, but being a doctor was hard. Here in England that is, so we moved to the states.A city in Arizona, Phoenix, I think. Edward was eighteen, and suppose to be going to college according to our old schedule, but here he was starting his senior year. I thankfully was allowed to be in my junior year, though it was different here, like cars.
That's not what changed, Edward was what changed, he wouldn't go near me during school, he took to the trends of the American society today, while I was shirts, jeans, and thick rimmed glasses.
He was everything a girl could want, too, girls in my class were only nice to me because of him, but why be nice when he can't even do that for himself, be nice to me, that is. Was it because I looked different, where he was tall I was short, he was muscle and I was soft flesh. I would wave at him but he'd ignore me, his friends would bully me and he'd just laugh.
That's when I met her, she was tall but not too tall, dark hair and big doe brown eyes, she was just like me, but she had her way, wearing short but shirts that would show her navel. She had her hair cut in a shag, just like Joan Jett's. She would wear a shirt and jeans, her lips shone with a clear gloss and her eyes were out lined by a smokey grey liner. She was beautiful, and Edward wanted her, like a drowning man wants air. But he couldn't have her, and he didn't know why only I knew why.
"Hey, kid!" She'd call to me from across the parking lot. Who was I to deny that my face lit up like a fourth of July firework as she started towards me. Hey was all I could manage before I tripped over a foot and landed face first.
"Watch where you're going geek!" A nasally voice shouted. Tanya Denali, the stalker of my brother.
"Hey skank, your mascara is running." Bella growled.
Tanya shrieked and hurried inside as I got up dusting my clothes off. "Thanks, Bella."
"Anytime kid. Hey I'm having band tryouts tonight, and I want you to try out. Our lead singer went MIA on us."
"I don't know..." I bit my lip and looked at her.
"Please?" She pouted out her bottom lip.
"Okay." I smiled.
"Thanks kid!" She went down the hall to her class, "Oh! Kid?"
I looked at her.
"Wear your contacts. I'll pick you up at eight." She winked.
I turned and jumped Edward was staring down the hall. "You talk to Isabella?"
"Bella, and yeah we're... friends?" I bit my lip at the word. Were we friends? I watched his eyes light up, and he smiled.
"This is perfect! You can get her to like me!"
"She doesn't like you..."
"I'm serious, get her to like me and I'll tell my buddies to go easy on you."
I rolled my eyes and shrugged past him, school was the same, paper was thrown at me, books ripped out of my hands, people spat in my hair. The only thing that made it worth it was when I went home I took a shower, dried my hair, put in my contacts, and wore a an outfit I had in the back of my closet.
"Whoa!" My mom looked at me. "Where are you going?"
"Out." I huffed pulling on my jacket over my green dress.
"With whom?" there was a knock on the door, my mom went to the doorway and opened it. "Hello?"
"Hello, you must be Mrs. Masen?"
"Why yes, and you are."
"I'm Bella Swan."
"Oh are you here to see Edward?" She turned and walked into the living room to yell up the stairs. "Edward!"
"Actually, Mrs. Masen, I'm here to pick up Jane." She walked into the room and I heard a small chuckle.
"Well, hello, how's my number one patient?" my dad stuck out his hand.
"Emmett's very, how should I put it, simple minded. You'll see him by tomorrow afternoon." she shook it. My mom looked at him.
"I'll explain later honey."
"Explain what?" Edward came down in a wife beater and stopped when he saw Bella. "Hey."
"Hello, Edward. Coming Jane?" Edward looked at me, mouth open.
I nodded and walked out the door, we went to a small little building, a garage almost. "Yo! Bitches I'm home!" Bella yelled and three other girls rushed forward stopping when they saw me.
"Jane I'm sure you all know her, she's going to audition for our open position."
"Jane, you know, Angela Weber, she'd our drummer."
"Hi." I whispered at the tall, sandy blonde girl with drumsticks sticking out the back of her bun. She smiled and nodded.
"And this is Carmen Crowley, our bass player, and her sister Maggie Crowley our other guitarist and sometimes keyboardist."
I nodded, "and you're the lead guitarist."
"Yeah, so lets get this audition started!" She pushed me over to a microphone and they watched me I bit my lip.
"Okay. I'm going to sing...uh? What would you like?"
"Anything!" Bella shouted. "Just fucking sing something!"
You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulated
Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
I trailed off as Bella's face lifted into a huge smile. "That was fucking awesome kid!" She jumped up and hugged me. "Welcome to the band!"
"Oh my god!" I smiled.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
I woke up, feeling like I was on cloud nine, I looked at myself in the mirror. Maybe I should dress normally to keep my fellow school mates away from suspicion, plus I didn't want to change to fast.
"I'm leaving see ya!" I grabbed an apple and opened the door.
"Don't you want a ride?" Edward hurried into the room jerking on his shirt.
"Nope," I said shutting the door. I walked down the street a little until a black 80s Trans Am Firebird pulled over.
"Get in kid!" Bella leaned over to the passenger window, I saw the girls in the back. "C'mon, oh god, we better change your clothes."
She handed me a bag, and I pulled out the red dress, "no, no! I'm not wearing this to school!"
"Even with the black tights?"
"No!" I looked at her.
"Look I'll be wearing this." She lifted up a black dress, "with red tights."
"Not today, plus I think you look wonderful." I looked at her jeans and white tee. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her bangs were framing her face, she had no make up on.
"Thanks kid!" She smiled and ruffled my hair, of course I was only a kid to her.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Ooh, she's a little runaway
Daddy's girl learned fast
All those things he couldn't say
Ooh, she's a little runaway
No one heard a single word you said
They should have seen it in your eyes
What was going around your head
"Stop!" I jerked away from the microphone and looked at Bella, who was glaring at me. "What the fuck kid?"
"Hmm?"
"Don't 'hmm' me! What is fucking wrong with you?"
"Bella..." Maggie sat her guitar down. "Take it easy."
"No!" She glared. "She's been like this for fucking weeks! She's not singing she's MUMBLING!" She all but whispered to me. "You better get your ass straight kid."
Angela got up and rubbed my back and Carmen glared as Bella left the building. I ducked my head down.
"What's been going on Jane? I mean you've been like this for the past two months." Carmen hugged me.
"Edward." I whispered.
"So what Bella's dating your broth-" she got quiet. "Oh..."
"Oh?" I glared. "Oh what?"
"Jane, why didn't you tell us?"
"Tell you what? That we slept together after our first show? Then she agreed to go out with my brother three days later? That now I'm nothing more than a singer in her band that belongs on the bottom of her shoe?" My voice got louder. "I'm sick of being treated this way!"
I walked out the door and across the parking lot.
"Hey! Jane!"
I turned my head and seen James Knightly and a group of his friends leaning against his buddy Mike's van. "Come here!"
I knew I should of walked away, I knew I shouldn't be doing this but I did, that night I was introduced to the best thing ever, cocaine.
I begged him to give me some to take home, in case I needed to be away from it all. When I got home the lights were off but mom and dad weren't home, I unlocked the door and walked in, I don't know why but I looked in my brother's room while passing.
She was there and she was sitting on the edge, Bella's head lifted up and she looked at me. I jerked away from the door and into my room, pulling out the small bag James had given me.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
I noticed Bella look at me from across the cafeteria, or the wall behind me seemed fascinating. She had probably seen the pictures on the web too? High ones that were taken of me in poses I didn't know, almost naked and more than naked. Edward didn't seem phased but why would he? I'm still nothing but the other child our parents conceived.
I ducked my head and got up, wobbling. I went into the nearest bathroom, I picked up my eyeliner to fix my make up but my hand wouldn't stop shaking, my breathing became heavy. Then I blanked.
I groaned rolling over, there was a beeping noise. I opened and eye and saw my dad leaning over me, face pale.
"Where am I?"
"In the hospital, you hit your head when you fainted."
"Ah," I looked at him.
"What is it? Cocaine? Ecstasy?" He looked at me.
"Go away, you don't know one thing about me." I closed my eyes. I opened them a few minutes later and heard a voice, not anyone's but her voice.
"Hey kid."
I looked at her, "hey."
She smiled and I rolled over facing away from her, I wouldn't go back to falling over her, since she like to tease my heart.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
I stared at the perfect red head who was standing next to the mic, I turned and saw Angela looking at me, pity in her eyes.
"What the fuck!" I yelled and pushed Bella back into the speakers.
She clenched her fist and Carmen grabbed her, "kid." She said in a warning tone.
"Who's this?"
"Our singer, Irina." Bella shook Carmen off. "Kid you haven't..."
"Quit calling me kid, I have a fucking name!" I screamed. "And who are you to be all high and mighty you guys are just a bunch of crab infested cunts! And I'm through!" I walked out the door and into the summer air. I stumbled into the first liquor store and grabbed a bottle of Grey Goose, I smiled when I saw Mike at the counter.
"Hey Mike."
He looked at me. "Jane."
"do you think you could sell this to me?"
"I can't," he waved someone over.
"Can I help you?" A man in a tie looked at me.
"Fuck you." I shook my head and walked out.
I sat in my room laughing at the posters of fan made bullshit, Falling Far is the best band ever! I ripped everything off my walls and everything I got from her or the band and threw them away lighting a match on top of the pile.
"Jane?"
I turned and Edward was staring at me, "are you okay?"
I scoffed. "You've done enough," I shoved past him. "In fact you proved to be a useless cock sucking asshat, that I'm glad you're leaving, maybe you should take Bella and her shitty ass band with you." I walked into the living room and Bella was on the couch, in his shirt.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
All good strippers need a name, so what would I pick? Candy? Too used. Butterfly? Anything but. Bunny? Not sweet enough. I went with the Lioness, or Leona, that meant lion. I was a dancer, these club owners don't care how old you are, they just wanted money.
I actually snorted something, probably crushed up pills, off a guys chest. I was sleeping with anyone, married guys, junkies waiting for their next fix. As long as I wasn't that blue eyed doll girl that everyone knew.
I even dropped out of school to forget who I was!
And now as I walked out on that stage the world was spinning and I barely registered the floor meeting my face.
I sat out side looking at a group of kids with their instruments, they were sitting against the fence backs to me, strumming and singing. Wanting to be the next big thing, I smiled.
"Jane?"
I turned and locked eyes with blue grey. "Hey Maggie."
"I heard you were here. We made it, got signed, Irina quit officially, something about slumping over Edward?"
I nodded, figures. "So how is everything?"
"Good, I wanted to bring you to our show tonight, of course it's also on the TV."
"I'll watch it tonight."
But I didn't, I couldn't, I sighed and picked at a loose thread on my jeans as I stared at the dark haired girl sitting with the bronze haired boy in the coffee shop. I walked in and walked past their table, asking if I could get water or anything that didn't have caffeine, because it would raise my blood pressure and that wouldn't help the shots the doctor put me on.
I grabbed my water and took a sip, "Sis!"
I turned and Edward smiled at me. "C'mere!"
I got up and managed a small smile at him and Bella.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
I had my head leaning against my knees in my hotel room. It still haunted me the gold band I saw on her finger, it haunted me and I couldn't breathe. I looked at the clock, it had been only thirty-six hours since I've seen them and they seemed to ruin the rest of the hours of my life!
I picked up my notebook and began humming a tune, writing random words...
"And here is a song from Jane Masen. But right now well answer some caller's questions. Caller you're on."
"Jane?"
My eyes widened at the voice.
"It's Bella."
"Hey, Bells." I smiled to myself. "how are you?"
"Good, your brother and I are doing fine."
"That's good."
"Well I just wanted to say hey."
"Okay."
"bye Jane." I looked at my hands as the DJ played the song:
Ah, now I don't hardly know her
But I think I could love her
Crimson and clover
Ah when she comes walking over
Now I've been waitin' to show her
Crimson and clover over and over
Yeah, my, my such a sweet thing
I wanna do everything
What a beautiful feeling
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
I smiled when the lyrics faded out, I wrote this song for Bella, and I thought it was beautiful, Crimson my favorite colour with Clover her favorite flower. That was us, crimson and clover, over and over.
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