Shadowboxer
by Mariye
======
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 or the song Shadowboxer from Fionna Apple's Tidal CD. Actually, blame that CD (which I just bought at a disc replay) for a few fics coming out soon...
======
Once my lover, now my friend
What a cruel thing to pretend
What a cunning way to condescend
Once my lover, now my friend
Oh, you creep up like the clouds
And you set my soul at ease
Then you let your love abound
And you bring me to my knees
Oh, its evil babe, the way you let your
grace enrapture me
When well you know, I'd be insane -
to ever let that game recapture me
You made me a shadowboxer baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging all around me
'Cause I don't know when you're
gonna make your move
---
Fujin walked back and forth outside the room at the Balamb hotel. She listened to the smooth breathing that came from the man she loved inside the room and the rough snores that came periodically from her 'brother.' She shook her head and walked down the staircase past the front desk.
"Insomnia again Miss?"
Fujin turned her head to acknowledge the new hotel owner. The last family and their daughter had been used to her late night walks and excentric ways. The new old couple was still adjusting.
"Well, you be careful out there. Lots of punks wanna take advantage of a young lady out there." The man called as she walked out. She almost laughed when she heard that.
Someone hurt her. That was a laugh. Only one person could hurt her, and he was up in the room. She had nothing to fear from the hoodlums in the night. Sure they could try and beat her and rob her. Maybe even rape her. But that was nothing compared to what he could do.
She turned and slowly walked out to the docks. She heard the whistles and cat calls from the drunks near the harbor. In the three years since she'd left Garden she'd made visible changes to make herself look more feminine. She wanted to give that impression now. Let people make judges based solely on appearences. Assume that long hair, sunglasses, and makeup meant she was an innocent lady.
Raijin had called her a black widow when he first saw her opt for a more fashionable look. He didn't know how right he was. Now she was a desensitised machine. Incapable of any emotions. She made the perfect spy for Esthar, their last employers. She would use people without even batting an eye. She was lethal with a pinwheel and wind magic, and now had mastered hand to hand combat.
But she still couldn't win against Seifer. All she could do was try to hold her ground and stand strong. And even then that didn't work all that often.
She lit a cigarette and stopped at the edge of a pier.
~For old times sake.~ She thought as she tossed the glowing match into the ocean.
Here was the last time she had truely felt comfortable around Seifer. No facades. No games. Just plain and simple honesty, loyalty, trust, and friendship.
~It was a sham.~ She thought as she sat down.
After a few days fishing in Balamb he had thought up a whole new grand scheme for them. A whole new life. A new life that involved him telling her how much she meant to him and how much he needed her. She had loved him. He had admitted for the first time in his life that he needed somebody, and that somebody was her. She had felt like a brand new person. Proud. Confident. Strong. Nothing could phase her.
Then he started changing. Acting unsure of himself and doubting what she had thought was true. He became erratic. He led them from job to job, with neither Raijin or her questioning. He started watching other women again. Showing off. She had ignored it all at first. Being arrogant and brash were part of his qualities.
Then he said it was over.
He still needed her sure. He needed someone to fall back on. And he needed Raijin as a lacky. But he didn't really want her as a lover all the time.
She could have left then. She knew Raijin would have followed her and they could have returned to Garden. Maybe even become instructors. But love held her there. Her love for all his little quirks and ways. He was all she had ever known. The first lover she ever had.
~Probably the only one too.~
She felt the scar over her one eye. Touched her throat. Who else could love her as she was?
She sighed and stood up. It was just as well that she didn't try to leave. He knewhow to push all her buttons. How to draw her close. How to captivate her and make her stay. As she turned around she saw a man standing behind her. He was familiar, and she almost didn't notice him at first.
"NIDA." She said as she flicked the cigarette and smashed it under her boot.
"Fujin. I thought I'd see you here. More like I hoped I'd see you here."
She gave a small smile and walked briskly past him. He would always appear sometimes when she was in town. Occasionally other students she had known from Garden would pop up too. She'd dismiss them all. Play with them a little. Listen to their pretty tales and lies. Sweet lies like the ones Seifer had told her so many times. Beautiful spells, almost like his. She would pull them close then shut them out. Beat them down. Spit them out. Now Nida was the only one who would come around.
"REALLY?"
She tried to make her voice cat-like. Sleek. The way the girls Seifer would bring along would talk.
"We need a new Head-of-Security at Garden. I told them I might know someone who was interested." He said slowly.
Same old tune. Each time she came around Garden needed someone. Security. Instructors. Weapons specialists. Once he had even tried cafeteria worker.
"PLACE WANT AD." She spat at him as she moved away from him.
"We need someone with experience that we can trust."
"TRUST ME?"
She did laugh that time, and actually spun to face him. His brow was furrowed. He was stubborn. Just like Seifer.
"You never gave us a real reason not to."
"SORRY." She snapped her wrist back as if to dismiss him and walked back to the hotel. She heard footsteps run after her.
"Why do you go back? You don't need that. Quit playing his game, being his pawn." He spat it back at her. He waited for a response. A retort.
"HABIT." She continued walking. As she did, she didn't hear footsteps follow her.
"This is the last time. The last chance."
She made a big show out of shrugging her shoulders and walked back into the hotel. She climbed the spiral staircase to the posse's room, ignoring the banter of the owner. When she reached the top she slowly pushed open the door. Raijin still slept soundly, but now the snoring had subsided. The balcony doors were opened. She walked out.
Seifer stood there, watching Nida walk away. Fujin walked up next to him, watching him. He was breathing easy. He knew Nida posed no threat. None of the legions like him ever did. She placed her hand on his arm, hoping he would cover it with his own. He didn't make the motion to, but still she let her hand linger.
"I have a new plan for us. A new place for us."
She stood and nodded at everything he said. Devoted. Trapped.
Oh your gaze is dangerous
And you fill your space so sweet
If I let you get too close
You'll set your spell on me
So darlin' I just wanna say
Just in case I don't come through
I was on to every play
I just wanted you
But, oh, its so evil, my love, the way you've
no reverence to my concern
So I'll be sure to stay wary of you, love,
to save the pain of
Once my flame and twice my burn
You made me a shadowboxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging all around me
'Cause I don't know when you're
gonna make your move
======
[the end]
by Mariye
======
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 or the song Shadowboxer from Fionna Apple's Tidal CD. Actually, blame that CD (which I just bought at a disc replay) for a few fics coming out soon...
======
Once my lover, now my friend
What a cruel thing to pretend
What a cunning way to condescend
Once my lover, now my friend
Oh, you creep up like the clouds
And you set my soul at ease
Then you let your love abound
And you bring me to my knees
Oh, its evil babe, the way you let your
grace enrapture me
When well you know, I'd be insane -
to ever let that game recapture me
You made me a shadowboxer baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging all around me
'Cause I don't know when you're
gonna make your move
---
Fujin walked back and forth outside the room at the Balamb hotel. She listened to the smooth breathing that came from the man she loved inside the room and the rough snores that came periodically from her 'brother.' She shook her head and walked down the staircase past the front desk.
"Insomnia again Miss?"
Fujin turned her head to acknowledge the new hotel owner. The last family and their daughter had been used to her late night walks and excentric ways. The new old couple was still adjusting.
"Well, you be careful out there. Lots of punks wanna take advantage of a young lady out there." The man called as she walked out. She almost laughed when she heard that.
Someone hurt her. That was a laugh. Only one person could hurt her, and he was up in the room. She had nothing to fear from the hoodlums in the night. Sure they could try and beat her and rob her. Maybe even rape her. But that was nothing compared to what he could do.
She turned and slowly walked out to the docks. She heard the whistles and cat calls from the drunks near the harbor. In the three years since she'd left Garden she'd made visible changes to make herself look more feminine. She wanted to give that impression now. Let people make judges based solely on appearences. Assume that long hair, sunglasses, and makeup meant she was an innocent lady.
Raijin had called her a black widow when he first saw her opt for a more fashionable look. He didn't know how right he was. Now she was a desensitised machine. Incapable of any emotions. She made the perfect spy for Esthar, their last employers. She would use people without even batting an eye. She was lethal with a pinwheel and wind magic, and now had mastered hand to hand combat.
But she still couldn't win against Seifer. All she could do was try to hold her ground and stand strong. And even then that didn't work all that often.
She lit a cigarette and stopped at the edge of a pier.
~For old times sake.~ She thought as she tossed the glowing match into the ocean.
Here was the last time she had truely felt comfortable around Seifer. No facades. No games. Just plain and simple honesty, loyalty, trust, and friendship.
~It was a sham.~ She thought as she sat down.
After a few days fishing in Balamb he had thought up a whole new grand scheme for them. A whole new life. A new life that involved him telling her how much she meant to him and how much he needed her. She had loved him. He had admitted for the first time in his life that he needed somebody, and that somebody was her. She had felt like a brand new person. Proud. Confident. Strong. Nothing could phase her.
Then he started changing. Acting unsure of himself and doubting what she had thought was true. He became erratic. He led them from job to job, with neither Raijin or her questioning. He started watching other women again. Showing off. She had ignored it all at first. Being arrogant and brash were part of his qualities.
Then he said it was over.
He still needed her sure. He needed someone to fall back on. And he needed Raijin as a lacky. But he didn't really want her as a lover all the time.
She could have left then. She knew Raijin would have followed her and they could have returned to Garden. Maybe even become instructors. But love held her there. Her love for all his little quirks and ways. He was all she had ever known. The first lover she ever had.
~Probably the only one too.~
She felt the scar over her one eye. Touched her throat. Who else could love her as she was?
She sighed and stood up. It was just as well that she didn't try to leave. He knewhow to push all her buttons. How to draw her close. How to captivate her and make her stay. As she turned around she saw a man standing behind her. He was familiar, and she almost didn't notice him at first.
"NIDA." She said as she flicked the cigarette and smashed it under her boot.
"Fujin. I thought I'd see you here. More like I hoped I'd see you here."
She gave a small smile and walked briskly past him. He would always appear sometimes when she was in town. Occasionally other students she had known from Garden would pop up too. She'd dismiss them all. Play with them a little. Listen to their pretty tales and lies. Sweet lies like the ones Seifer had told her so many times. Beautiful spells, almost like his. She would pull them close then shut them out. Beat them down. Spit them out. Now Nida was the only one who would come around.
"REALLY?"
She tried to make her voice cat-like. Sleek. The way the girls Seifer would bring along would talk.
"We need a new Head-of-Security at Garden. I told them I might know someone who was interested." He said slowly.
Same old tune. Each time she came around Garden needed someone. Security. Instructors. Weapons specialists. Once he had even tried cafeteria worker.
"PLACE WANT AD." She spat at him as she moved away from him.
"We need someone with experience that we can trust."
"TRUST ME?"
She did laugh that time, and actually spun to face him. His brow was furrowed. He was stubborn. Just like Seifer.
"You never gave us a real reason not to."
"SORRY." She snapped her wrist back as if to dismiss him and walked back to the hotel. She heard footsteps run after her.
"Why do you go back? You don't need that. Quit playing his game, being his pawn." He spat it back at her. He waited for a response. A retort.
"HABIT." She continued walking. As she did, she didn't hear footsteps follow her.
"This is the last time. The last chance."
She made a big show out of shrugging her shoulders and walked back into the hotel. She climbed the spiral staircase to the posse's room, ignoring the banter of the owner. When she reached the top she slowly pushed open the door. Raijin still slept soundly, but now the snoring had subsided. The balcony doors were opened. She walked out.
Seifer stood there, watching Nida walk away. Fujin walked up next to him, watching him. He was breathing easy. He knew Nida posed no threat. None of the legions like him ever did. She placed her hand on his arm, hoping he would cover it with his own. He didn't make the motion to, but still she let her hand linger.
"I have a new plan for us. A new place for us."
She stood and nodded at everything he said. Devoted. Trapped.
Oh your gaze is dangerous
And you fill your space so sweet
If I let you get too close
You'll set your spell on me
So darlin' I just wanna say
Just in case I don't come through
I was on to every play
I just wanted you
But, oh, its so evil, my love, the way you've
no reverence to my concern
So I'll be sure to stay wary of you, love,
to save the pain of
Once my flame and twice my burn
You made me a shadowboxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging all around me
'Cause I don't know when you're
gonna make your move
======
[the end]