Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age. The characters shown in the story belong to Bioware except for Ryses Surana. This fanfic was written because Jowan's Intention, a side quest in the game, is bugged and cannot be started so I'm making my own to make this canon in my head for my main playthrough. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Ryses stared out into the night sky, gazing at the stars pondering on what had happened at Redcliffe. All in all, he should have been happy with himself for he saved the village with minimal casualties, fulfilled his promise to the blacksmith of rescuing his daughter, and convinced the circle, his home and where he learnt most of his spells to come with a council of other mages and lyrium to kill the desire demon that wrecked the village without having to kill Connor. Just when his mind was trailing off to what haunted him the most Leliana walked out from the shadows and took a seat right beside him. They stared into each other's eyes briefly, smiling lightly, before Leliana decided to interrupt the silence.

"My love, is something bothering you?" Leliana asked tenderly, with more kindness than Ryses ever suspected he would get from a chantry sister. He thought about keeping his problems to himself as to not burden her but she had been so open with him and it was time he did the same.

"Jowan was the only friend I ever had in the circle. He made some bad decisions but he's still my friend, and the way he wanted to redeem himself…" he trailed off, trying to find the right words to explain himself.

"You think everything that happened to him was your fault?" Leliana asked concerned.

"Isn't it? He wanted to redeem himself in a way that would probably get him executed, and because I was familiar with his stubbornness I knew I couldn't explain to him why it was a bad idea so instead my last words to him were to leave, because I never wanted to see him again." Ryses continued to gather his thoughts until he had the rights words to speak with.

"I promised to make sure he could run away from the circle with Lily, this chantry initiate he loved, but instead she discovered that he was a blood mage and now he's on the run alone with no help because…" Ryses was desperately holding back all the pain now, "because I wasn't strong enough to protect him. Everything he's going through now can't be blamed on anyone but me." Leliana just looked at him with sympathetic eyes, shocked to see that her elven leader and lover, who was always so confident in his magic, was holding back so much pain after all this time. He had been betrayed, just like her, but he didn't even realize it, and he still cared for this person. She stood up and held her hands out, keeping her elbows by her hips as she smiled down upon him. Ryses chuckled, but stood up in response and they embraced one another. There was serenity between them for a moment, but once again it was Leliana who broke the silence.

"It's not your fault that he couldn't use blood magic as responsibly as you can Ryses, and he chose his own destiny. He's the one who should be living with the consequences, not you," Leliana whispered in his ear.

"Maybe, but back at the tower, I've always felt that maybe had we taken another route or moved more quickly he'd be free and living a happy life rather than a fugitive on the run." Ryses's heart remained anchored down in darkness by guilt, with the only comfort he had being in Leliana's arms.

"Maybe it was his punishment brought down on him by the Maker for dabbling in forbidden knowledge for such selfish reasons. Or maybe he did this so you would be prepared for your duty as a Grey Warden. The Maker has a reason for the events that happen in our life." Leliana's words did make some sense to Ryses. Though he wasn't incredibly religious Ryses did consider himself an Andrastian who believed the Maker worked in mysterious ways, and they both agreed that it was possible that He's not truly gone, and if this pain led him to Leliana then some good came out of it.

"I guess I never really looked at it this way," Ryses began. He was still shackled by guilt, but perhaps it was the start to healing. He loosened his hug slightly so that the two lovers could see each other's faces as he smiled for her.

"Thank you Leliana, for helping me see this in a different light." She smiled back, still able to see pain in his eyes but glad that he at least felt slightly better.

"I'm here for Ryses, whenever you need me," she replied sweetly as she dragged him back towards her tent, "Now come, my bedroll is probably cozy and warm by now." Ryses's eyes widened at the statement. He was sexually deprived due to living in the tower his whole life and being 'overly fussy' about what kind of girl he wanted to be with, but he knew how to take a flirty hint.

"Sharing blessings tonight Leliana?" Ryses asked flirtatiously.

"Of course, tonight is that kind of night," she answered. And for the rest of the night, no one got any sleep.

Just so it is known, there's only going to be two chapters, including this one. So my next chapter is going to see how the Elven Mage Warden and Jowan's story ends.

-Frostbrandt

PS: I'm still working on ME2 – Flotilla Confliction, it is just taking a while as usual. This is just a little break from Mass Effect. I thank you for the patience.