Disclaimer: Theirs, not mine.
Author's note: This one has been kicking around on my stories disk for a couple of months. I figured one day I'd get around to finishing it, and then yesterday I opened it and decided that it didn't need finishing.
It's already done!
This is dedicated to Jules for first giving me the idea for a sequel to this, and to Jaye, who told me to "just post it" last night when I read it to her on the phone!
Noone sends feedback anymore!! Has everyone lost interest? Pleeeaase send me some feedback to lotus@primus.com.au . I really need the motivation!
Oh, and a slight language warning. Nothing worse than the 's' word.
Dear Diary,
I think I might be pregnant.
I'm only about a week late, so I'm not sure yet, but it's definitely a possibility.
I'm a little in shock, I think. So much for contraceptives being reliable! I never thought I'd be in this
position again.
I don't know what I'd do about it. I don't know how I'd tell Jack! I mean, I do love him, and I know that he loves me, but this is not exactly the best kind of thing to spring on a relationship as uncertain as ours.
I would have to keep it, I think. I couldn't get rid of it, but Jack... Geez, I wish I knew how he'd react. I wish I knew what I wanted!
It'd be a pretty big change, if I did have a baby. I'd have to take time off. I'd have to get a transfer or
something anyway; noone would believe me if I told them it wasn't Jack's. They know me too damned well.
Actually, I think Jack would be over the moon. He's been pushing for more commitment anyway--this has got to be the ultimate commitment, I think. Oh, well, maybe it won't come up. Maybe I'm just late.
I don't know what to hope for.
Dear Diary,
I got the test. I'm afraid to take it. Do I really want to know? That's a ridiculous thing to ask anyway--I
don't have a choice, do I? Not even I can turn the clock back.
It's simple. I've even done it before. Why am I putting it off? It won't change the result, it won't even
change my decision.
Maybe I'm trying to prepare myself for the blow? Trying to brace myself?
Or maybe I'm just getting myself all worked up for nothing.
I should just get it over with. I'll go do it now.
I'm still sitting here, why am I still sitting here? I should just go. Indecision isn't me, it never has been.
Maybe I should call Jack, get him to come over and help me. That's what they do in the movies. Ridiculous, really, it's not like he's got anything more to add to the situation! He'd just be standing next to
me, staring at that damned paddle-pop stick and waiting for it to turn blue. Or not to turn blue. I'm stalling for time again. aren't I?
Dammit, that's it. I'll be right back.
Dear Diary,
It's blue.
I'm in shock. I thought I was prepared for the possibility, but I guess I wasn't. Shit, I need some time to
sort all this out in my head.
How am I gonna tell Jack?
I haven't even told him I was suspicious. I guess I wanted to avoid any emotional scenes for as long as
possible. Can't avoid it any longer.
He noticed something was up at work today. I tried to brush him off when he asked me what was wrong, but he didn't buy it. Mick was giving me funny looks, too. I must've been acting really preoccupied. Geez, what do they expect, with that test sitting in my bag all day? Oh, well, at least now I know. I wonder if it's a boy or girl? Guess I'll find out in about seven and a half months.
I wonder if I should call Jack now and tell him the good news. Get it over with.
No, I won't do that, I need some time to think before I bring him in on it. I'll sleep on it.
Dear Diary,
Well, I told him.
I took him out to lunch, and I dropped it on him. You should've seen his face. I've never seen so many
different emotions cross a man's face in the space of about five seconds. I told him I intend to keep it, but I didn't want to start talking about anything crazy like getting married or moving in together. I like things the way they are.
He just stared at me with this total look of shock, and then he grinned. He grinned! It was all I could do
not to hit him.
He kept it up all day, too, this damned unshakable smile on his face, until Mick asked him what the hell he was so chirpy about. For a moment I thought he was going to tell him, too, but he must have caught sight of the death-glare I was sending his way, because he told him he was just thinking of a joke he'd heard. Then he made us sit and listen to a long, boring and very lame joke about a dog with a shitty ass. At least it shut Mick up.
Still, I have to smile, thinking about it. His reaction that is, not the joke! He was like a kid with a new toy all day. So sweet. Sometimes I don't know whether to hug him or hit him.
Oh, I've got to go, he'll be here any minute. We've got lots to talk about, and maybe even to celebrate.
~finis?
This could end up a series... but it needs YOUR feedback. lotus@primus.com.au
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