It

His Sacrifice

written by NemKess

It's strange. The difference a single day can make. Yesterday, we were all alive and as peaceful as a group of detectives for the spirit world can be. Yesterday, Yukina was smiling as happy as ever.

Today... Well, today is different.

Today we are a member short and the ground is littered by my twin's teargems.

So strange. I never thought the death of a teammate would affect me so strongly. With the exception of Kurama, I've never been all that close to them. I respect them, and to an extent, trust them to watch my back in a fight.

But now I'm... sad. His death has made me sad and not just because it caused my sister pain.

That damned id-.. No, I can not bring myself to insult him anymore, not even in my head. Because I saw the truth in those last seconds. I saw the real Kuwabara Kazuma that was hidden behind the annoying mask.

It happened so fast. So damned fast.

~*~*~*~

"Where the hell did he go?" I could hear Urameshi cursing from the lead. The demon we were trying to recapture for the brat had led us on a dizzying chase through the twisted tunnels of an abandoned crystal mine. The narrow passages made for a cramped and annoying walk. And the ground pressed down from above us. I was the only one who wasn't stooping- I guess being short has its advantages sometimes.

"I doubt we'll find him down here, Yusuke. Perhaps it would be best if we left this mine and just waited up top for him to surface. There is only one way out after all, right Hiei?"

"Hn.." My fox, always the voice of reason. He was right though. There was only one way out of this damn mine and the demon would have to surface sooner or later. It wasn't the kind that would be overly fond of remaining underground for very long.

The faint rumbling under our feet made it an easy decision. As soon as we came to a fork in the passage, we turned around, this time with Kuwabara in the lead followed by Urameshi, Kurama and myself at the tail end.

The earth rumbled around us a few more times as we wound our way through the dark caverns. Kurama had an arm over his face trying to block the dirt that fell on us occasionally.

"How much further do you think it is, Kuwabara?" Urameshi asked.

The taller boy shrugged. "Not too far now."

"Hn.. The idiot has probably gotten us lost," I muttered just loud enough for the others to hear.

"That's not nice, Hiei." I just shrugged at Kurama's admonishment, but smirked to myself at the indignant sputtering coming from the front of the line. Insulting the carrot-topped ningen was a satisfying way to pass the time and I wasn't going to apologize for it. Besides, for all I knew, he had gotten us lost.

It seemed an eternity passed before we finally saw light in the distance. Another 50 yards and we would be out. Out of the mine and safe from the threat of a cave in.

So close. So close and yet so damn far.

One minute we were all breathing a sigh of relief to be nearly out of the mine and the next the shoring that held the tons of earth above our heads came crashing down. Somehow, we all managed to avoid being crushed but when the dust had settled, it became quiet clear that we were trapped.

Kurama groaned and rolled from where he'd fallen atop me. Kuwabara had sat up and was shaking his head, dazed. Yusuke was gritting his teeth and cursing softly. A sharp stone had embedded itself in his leg and his arm was bent at an odd angle.

"How bad is it, Yusuke?" Kurama asked scooting over to look at our leader's injured leg.

"Hurts like hell, but I don't think it's broken." He winced when Kurama's hands moved to his arm. "Then again, maybe it is."

The ground rumbled ominously again. When at last it stilled once more, I'm fairly certain the foremost thing in all our minds was the sure knowledge that we didn't have a lot of time. We needed to get past the fallen timbers now.

Closer inspection proved that I would be the only one able to squeeze into the small opening left. I wasn't happy about it, but I did what had to be done. Wriggling around a little, hoping that I wouldn't inadvertently cause the rest of the structure to collapse and crush me, I managed to get my back under the main support beam. If I could just get it up enough, the others might be able to get through. It was important that they escape; Yusuke whom I respected and Kurama whom I.... cared for.

I did get it up a little. Not enough though.

Not nearly enough. Yusuke couldn't really move under his own steam, and he and Kurama couldn't both fit through at once. I think Kurama had just about decided to go through and drag Yusuke behind when Kuwabara took matters into his own hands.

I have to admit that at first I thought he was just trying to save his own hide. He shoved the other two out of his way a little more roughly than was probably necessary and squeezed his own much larger body into the opening I had enlarged.

Before I could gripe at him though, he stopped and began to heave upwards. Grudgingly, I had to acknowledge that he was a great deal more successful than I had been. The weight of the timber was soon off my own back and resting fully on his.

The earth shook again and more dirt and rocks began falling around us. But that wasn't what spurred Kurama to sling Yusuke over his shoulder, completely ignoring the injured boys yelps of pain, and hurry past Kuwabara. It was the scent that lay so heavily in the air around us. I don't know how we'd missed it before, but now the smell of gas(1) was thick enough that even Kuwabara had covered his nose to block it out.

Gas like that in a collapsing mine is definitely bad. It would be a simple thing for the falling rocks to ignite a spark. You don't have to be a fire demon to know sparks and gas don't mix.

As I moved to pass through the opening myself, Kuwabara's massive hand fell on my shoulder, stopping me. In that one instant, I saw the man who existed under the rough exterior of the boy. His face was deadly serious and bore the look of someone who'd seen the future and his own fate.

"You tell her the truth, Hiei. You tell her you're her brother or I'll come back and haunt you forever."

Then he shoved me forward with all his strength just as the mine seemed to give a loud belch and fire spurted up and out.

Covering my face was instinctive, even if I have a better chance of surviving such a thing, that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt like hell.

When the heat was gone, and the rumbling had stopped I turned back to where I had last seen my teammate. It only took a glance to know there was no hope. Even if, by some miracle, he had survived the explosion, the tunnel was now completely filled with dirt and rock.

~*~*~

A quick hop takes me from the phone pole I've been perched on down into the trees. From there I continue on my way to the temple where the others are gathered.

My movements are more instinctive than planned as my mind begins to wander again.

I must have passed out after that one look at the filled tunnel because the next thing I remember, I was out in the forest, Kurama bent over me cleaning the burns and cuts I'd sustained. Yusuke was sitting at my other side, his arm in a splint and his leg wrapped up with his torn shirt. His face was turned away so I couldn't see his expression, but his slumped shoulders told the story as did Kurama's own grim face. Added to the absence of a certain complaining presence and I knew.

It hadn't been some kind of strange nightmare. It had been real.

Our famous luck had finally deserted us in the worst way.

It was a weary, disinheartened Urameshi team that made it's way back to Genkai's that day.

A shudder ripples through my body as I recall the tear gems my twin shed. It was Kurama and Botan that held her as she sobbed. I had no right to provide comfort, no matter how much I longed to.

The soft sound of voices warns me that I've reached my destination. The memorial service had been earlier today and the whole group had decided to gather here afterwards. I know my own presence isn't expected, but somehow it seems wrong to just stay away. It seemed... disrespectful to repay his sacrifice like that.

I ignore everyone else as I approach Yukina.

I've spent all night thinking. I made a promise long ago that I would never tell Yukina about our relationship. I've never even been tempted to break that oath. After all, it was better for her, safer, if no one knew we were related. But now...

His words and the look on his face will be forever etched in my mind. I don't know how he found out that I was Yukina's brother. To be honest, at this point I don't really care. Right now I have to make a decision. Do I keep the oath I made so long ago? Or do I tell her, as he wanted me to?

Part of me sneers at my indecision. It shouldn't be that difficult. No one else knows of what he asked me. Kuwabara is dead and no matter what he said, I doubt that Koemna would allow him to haunt me for eternity. That part of me constantly replays all the reasons I never liked the big ningen.

But then I'm also forced to remember that no matter what he'd done in the past, he sacrificed his life that day so that the rest of us could live. So that Kurama and Yusuke, and even myself, would make it out of that fiery tomb. Glancing at Kurama's tired features, I have to admit that his sacrifice saved my life.. and my soul.

Doesn't that in itself earn something?

His death saved so much for me. How then, can I deny his last request?

Her gentle, sad face is vaguely questioning when I stop in front of her.

My throat closes as I search for something to say. Anything that might lessen the grief etched on her delicate features. I can almost feel the prodding at my shoulder and I frown. I guess I was wrong. Maybe Koemna will let him haunt me after all...

"Yukina..."

I don't need a ghost to tell me what I must say. I can't say the idea of dealing with Kuwabara for the rest of my life doesn't help speed the words up, though.

That's okay though. The smile on her face, small and sad though it is, makes it all worth it.