Disclaimer: I own nothing. I think we all know that. I'm merely borrowing. That's okay, right?

Letter to Love

Ruka,

It's been a year hasn't it? It's been a year since you've been with me. A year since we've kissed. A year since you held my hand in yours. A year since you held me period.

I miss you. I miss you so much. The fact that you still loved me when you left makes this all even more painful. It if weren't for that damn accident you'd still be with me. If it weren't for my insecurities, my pride, my jealousy, you'd still be here. We'd still be in love as much as we were when we first started... Right?

I know there were times I pushed you away... I'm sorry... I was young and stupid and I did things without considering your feelings... I'm so sorry. Everyday I kick myself for saying all those things to you. I didn't mean it. Any of it. I love you so much.

I miss you. I miss your laugh. You'd always had such a dorky sense of humor. No one will ever make jokes like you. Those lame jokes that I couldn't help but giggle at.

I miss you hypnotizing green eyes that could always read me so easily. As if you had the book to my soul.

I miss your wild blond hair. I miss being able to play with it whenever I wanted. I miss how soft it was.

I miss your smile. You had such a charming smile that always made my heart melt.

But most of all, I miss your arms. They were always so warm and strong. Whenever I was in them, I felt protected. As if nothing could ever hurt me. Do you remember the first time I was in your arms? We were seeing some silly chick flick that I dragged you to and half way through the movie you put your arm around me. You were so nervous and it was shaking like crazy and I remember thinking it was so cute.

I just miss you. It's so lonely here. Living in my dream home means nothing to me without you. Everything I see is just another reminder of you. I'm envious of those couples on the beach. They look so happy; so in love. Just like we were. Remember how everynight we'd take a walk along the beach hand in hand? I think that was one of my favorite things we did together. Walking together, feeling the waves lap at our feet and watching our footprints melt into the sand...

Don't you see how much I need you with me? I wish we could just have one day. One day together. That would be enough to keep me going happily. I need you Ruka. I need you with me. Without you I feel so empty and lost. I'm just wandering around aimlessly wishing for one thing and one thing only. To be wth you. And the fact that I can't makes me so frsutrated! Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave me? Why wasn't I good enough to make you stay? I need you... I know you needed me too but sometimes I wish you needed me more than I need you. It would make all of this a lot less painful.

I walk around and live life as if I'm over it. As if I forgot all of it. People believe me too. They were convinced that if they pushed new suitors towards me then ill get over it easier. Idiots. None of it helped at all. In fact, with each new face I just ended up comparing them to you. Of course none of them were as good as you. No one will ever be as good as my ruka. You were perfect. You always knew how to make me smile whenever I couldn't handle whatever life threw at me. You'd always listen to me complain for hours and never once got annoyed. You knew exactly how to cheer me up when I felt as if the world was crashing down on me. You had such power over my emotions I don't even think it's fair sometimes. Especially now when I feel so broken inside you're not here to comfort me.

Am I selfish? Selfish for wanting you soley to myself? I suppose. But I'm not changing my mind. You and I were to be together forever. Yet you go and leave me like this.

So yes, I'm selfish. And stupid. I should've trusted you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

There had been so many times where I seriously contemplated leaving this all behind and go to join you. But I know you. You'd be upset if I did that. And I don't want the first time I get to see you after so long to have you pouting and ranting about how stupid I am.

So I've decided. You give me a reason to stay here and wait for my turn to see you again then I'll be a good girl.

I'm holding you to your word, Ruka. You know how I am about these kind of things.

I love you and always will,

Michi

-o-

Just as Michiru finished signing the letter, a light breeze tickled her face.

"Ruka..." She whispered.

She lived in a large victorian style house right on the shore where the lawn mixes with the sand. The wind blew softly again as she stood up and walked to the balcony.

There was no one on the beach but there were traces of a couple's footprints in the sand.

Michiru smiled and hugged herself. Someday. Someday she will be together with her love again.

—-—-—

A/N: So it's like midnight and I was going through some old notes on my iPhone and found this. It was written a couple months ago about a certain someone and I didn't see the harm in posting it. Anyways, this is deticated to you Benny. I miss you.