Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders. Ties directly to my chapter fic, 'The Only Kind', spoilers for that!

When I seen him sitting there, tears an' all, I thought, shit, the kid's dead.

Soda's face was the color of the body filler I'd just been using to fix up some guy's heap of crap Falcon. That car was more filler than car by now. I coulda held my shirt up where it had gotten filler smeared on and matched it to the grey of Soda's skin.

He wiped his hand across his face, not to hide the fact that he was bawlin' but 'cause he was drippin' snot something good.

An' I thought, they must've heard. Ponyboy's dead.

Soda looked up at me. "You gotta a weed?" he asked. I handed one over, with my lighter. He was bound to have lost his again.

He took a coupla long drags. I waited him out. Dropped into Darry's chair and waited for him to tell me that the cops had called them an' told them they'd found the kid.

"Sandy's leavin'," he said.

"What?"

"She came over before. Her parents are sendin' her to Florida..." His voice wobbled some.

Again, what? I was staring at him.

"I said I'd marry her, ya know, like we was talkin' about anyway, like we wanted...but she said..." He got so quiet I couldn't hear the rest.

"Wait up." I had to get this straight. "You ain't heard nothin' about Pony?"

"What?" It was his turn to stare at me. "No. The cops ain't called back an' Dally's not talkin', you know that."

"Oh." I was getting my head around that. He sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand again.

"Sandy's movin' to Florida?" I processed what he'd said.

He nodded, dragging on that weed like his life depended on it.

"Man, that blows." I was sympathetic an' all, but still, he was takin' it kinda hard. I mean, I knew he really dug her but he'd had other girls and he was gonna have other ones yet.

"She's knocked up."

I forgot to breathe a bit. Shit, that was heavy. That might be enough to get me bawling.

"It ain't mine."

Whoa, but he just said... "You just said, you offered t'marry her."

Soda nodded sadly. "I would. But she said no. Her folks hate me anyways...she sneaked out to see me, to tell me. She was awful sorry..." His eyes filled up again.

"Sorry? Fuckin' right she should be, man! Whadd'ya mean, it ain't yours? How'd you know? You said..." I was the kind of angry I thought he oughta be. What the hell was goin' on? Apart from the obvious. They lie.

"Look, it ain't mine!" There was some fire in his voice now, but it was directed at me, not her. "We never... I know what I said, but we never..."

Holy shit. The little two timin', sneaking, low down...she was running around on him? On Soda? When he treated her like some kinda fuckin' princess? Holy shit.

I realised I was looking at him with my mouth open. "Whose is...?"

"I dunno!" He interrupted me again. "She wouldn't tell me." He looked like he'd been punched in the guts.

For a second, I wished he had. Coulda helped with that, easy. Coulda waded in and pulled the other guy off and landed a punch or two. We'd have been laughing all the way home, like we always do.

But this was not something I could fix with my fists, no matter how tempted I was to drive right over to Sandy's house and slap her stupid, lying face.

Right there, sitting in Darry's armchair, looking at the person who meant more to me than anyone else in the goddamn world, looking at him hurting so bad, something occurred to me. An' although it was a thought in my head, it felt like a ball of ice in my guts, getting bigger and bigger. Something that made me feel like I was gonna hurl.

I knew where I was headed, right after I left this house.

For now, I looked at Soda and held out my cigarettes. He shook his head. I suggested we get into Darry's beer – even if it wasn't in the fridge, we knew where he stashed it - but he said no to that too. Didn't know what to do then. So, I just sat there, while he rambled on about how much he was into her an' how he would forgive her. When he started to come up with ways he could get to Florida, I couldn't take no more.

"Glory, Soda, cut it out!" Maybe it came out harder than I intended. He looked at me like I'd hit him. I swallowed and talked quieter. "You ain't goin' to Florida, buddy, an' you know it."

He nodded sadly. "I know."

"People are gonna get wise to why she went." Some people must already know.

"So?"

"So they're gonna think it's down to you."

He didn't see where I was goin' with this. I sighed. "Soda, man, you gotta let people know it ain't you."

"No. I don't want 'em thinkin' she's a..." He couldn't say it.

But she is. And then some.

He shook his head again. Glory, he can be stubborn. "Her folks wouldn't let her marry me, an' that's all there is to know." He'd made up his mind, I been seeing that look on his face since we was seven years old. He was saving her reputation as best he could.

I shrugged. "Whatever, man. I think you're crazy, but whatever you want." At least he wasn't bawling no more.

I heard Darry's truck pulling up outside. Sounded like it was runnin' fast. I'd hav'ta look it over soon.

I stood up. "I gotta run, got...stuff to do," I told Soda. "I'll be back though."

He looked at me gratefully, figuring I was leaving him some time to talk to Darry.

I passed Darry on the steps. He looked like shit. He wasn't sleeping no more'n Soda, since Ponyboy lit out, plus he was still working.

"I'mma come back, for Soda," I told him, although he didn't know why yet. I just wanted him to know I wasn't leaving Soda on his own to deal.

I drove over to her house, but she wasn't there. Her mom told me there was a last minute rush job over to the florist's so I headed over and parked up out back, in the alley behind the row of stores.

It was another hour before they came out. I'd smoked all my weeds and the ball of ice hadn't gone away, hadn't even stopped growin'. I was having a hard time ignoring the voice at the back of my head. I wanted to.

She looked real pretty, like always, when she came out, laughin' and kidding around with the other girls. Looked better'n them, in her tight capris and that pink top I always liked.

She squealed when she saw me leaning on the hood and she came running over.

"Hey, baby!" She smiled, stepping up to hug me. "This is a nice surprise. How'd'ya know I was still here? Marian called us all in, for this wedding job, we got time and a half, so it...Steve...?" She stepped back because I wasn't talking and I wasn't hugging her. Her face got concerned. "Steve? What's the matter?...Oh, God, did something happen with Soda's little brother?"

She seemed like she was genuinely worried. But how could I tell anymore?

Part of me was thinking, she ain't done it yet, she ain't lied. An' part of me was just waiting.

"Nah," I told her, "they ain't heard nothin'."

"Oh. Okay, well I guess that's good..." She looked up at me, confused.

"You seen Sandy today?" Even to me, my voice sounded hard.

Evie bit her lip.

It was quiet now, the other girls had split. Just us in the alley.

"Florida, huh?" I could hardly trust myself to look at her.

"What did Soda tell ya?" she asked quietly.

"How 'bout you tell me what you know, an' I'll let ya know when it sounds different?"

She looked kinda wild, like a deer in the headlights. "I don't know nothin'...I mean..."

"Bullshit!" I didn't shout but she jumped. I hated myself a little. But I couldn't let it go. "Don't tell me you didn't know, Evie. You two were tight, no way you didn't know."

"She told me Monday, when she found out from the doctor. That's all. Then her mom figured it out an' all Hell broke loose, an' they're packin' her off to Florida..."

"Monday was two days ago. Hell, we went out last night!" And you looked me in the eye and..

"I couldn't say anythin', baby, how could I? She still hadda tell Soda, I couldn't..."

"She had to tell Soda? Ain't nothin' to do with him, is what I hear. How about, she had to tell whichever little prick she's been running around with?"

Evie went pink. She looked away. I knew then that she knew. All of it.

I walked away a little, the ball of ice was threatening to make me spew right there. I could hear my dad's voice loud and clear now, 'Broads lie, Stevie boy, if you never listen to anything else I tell ya, hear this...'

"How long was she two-timing him?" I was shaking with how much I was holdin' back. When she didn't answer, I turned back around. "Who was it?" I tried. Evie looked at me, her eyes beginning to fill up, shaking her head.

"I don't..." she whispered.

"Don't fuckin' lie to me!" Now I yelled. Now she jumped and she had reason. She took a step backwards, her eyes wide. I tried real hard to talk calm. "I swear to God, Evie, if you don't tell me the truth..." Please, tell me the truth...

"I don't know who it was. I don't know!" She sounded desperate. "Baby." She held out her hand. "I'm sorry she did that to Soda, but it ain't gotta come between us, does it?"

She was playing me. I looked at her like I was seeing her for the first time. They lie. They all lie.

I thought about how Soda had looked, washed out, crushed. I'd seen that look on a man's face before, long time ago. 'She ain't comin' back, Stevie boy, she don't want us no more...'

I don't know what she saw in my face then, but Evie started crying for real.

"Steve...baby, I love you."

For all I knew, she'd been going behind my back too. Hell, maybe she and Sandy double dated, like they did with me an' Soda.

"Steve. Please. Listen to me." So pretty, even with the black stuff on her eyes starting to drip. Prettiest girl I ever dated. They all lie.

I walked back to the car. There was nothing inside me but that ball of ice now, everything else pushed out of the way, like it was gonna split me in half if it got any bigger.

"We're done." I opened the door.

"Steve!"

I got in.

"I love you, Steve." Real quiet, I almost didn't hear her.

I turned over the engine. I drove away.

I picked up Two-Bit and all the booze he had stashed and we went to Soda's and got blitzed. Darry didn't stop us. He didn't join us, because he wanted to be ready for a call about Ponyboy, if it came. But he seemed happy we were keeping Soda busy.

Soda cried himself to sleep.

I drank 'til I hurled. That had been the aim, my only aim. I wanted rid of the ball of ice.

Didn't work.