Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Hello? Do I look like a British man to you?
"My life sucks" that is basically all I can say about how I am right now. Yeah, I know that they say that all wounds heal in time but this is a very big wound. How do I go on when I don't know where I came from? Am I still Narnian if I can't go back? Am I still British if I don't feel it?
All I want is to scream "Do something!" to Peter and Lucy. Why can't they tell me the exact words to make it all better? They are the ones that know how to do that. They know how to make things like this less hard. Though they haven't before this trip so why would they now? Peter doesn't talk about it, understandably, and Edmund and Lucy know that if they do talk about Narnia it would only make everything feel worse. Once again I loved and lived, only to have Aslan tear it away from me. Isn't once enough? Why must I go through this?
I loved Caspian, and I still do. Peter and the rest couldn't understand, but couldn't they make everything better? It's killing me inside, so make it better. The girls at school swoon over the latest boy with good looks and fancy themselves in love. Now that makes me laugh. Them! Know what love is! That isn't love.
What did I ever do to deserve this? Have I make Aslan mad some how? Is he testing me of how much I love him. Do I love him? How can I be able to love some one who has only hurt me when he doesn't need me anymore.
Its not like I have ever done anything to make him like me. Edmund is a good person, owning up to every thing he did when we first got to Narnia. Peter is the High King, and naturally does the best he can do in everything. And Lucy… is Lucy, she is and always will be closest to Aslan. But does he have to take me away from Caspian, the only person outside of my family to love me for me, and not Queen or Beauty.
All I want to do is go home, because if I don't I do not know what I will do.