Of Surfers and Cross Dressers
Title: Of Surfers and Cross Dressers
Summary: Broseph takes it upon himself to help Johnny finally hook up with Emma. However, Reef keeps interfering in his quest to find out the identity of Broseph's secret girlfriend. And why is Ripper in a dress?
Disclaimer: I own nothing of course.
Pairings: I'm not telling yet.
Warnings: Humour, fluff, all the stuff I'm usually known for.
Winter-Rae: Okay, so I started watching 'Stoked.' It's a cute show, I like it. And I am totally loving the one-sided romance of Johnny and Emma! But I feel bad for poor Johnny so I decided that he needs some love. This will be a two shot. And I know you're looking at the title going, 'WTF,' I assure you though it's all in the name of comedy. Please enjoy.
Chapter 1: The Education of Johnny, Front Desk Guy
"Hmm."
"Johnny, knock it off man."
Johnny, front desk guy, jerked out of his thoughts and glanced over at the one who interrupted them. Reef was waxing his surf board and looking at Johnny with a slightly annoyed look on his face.
"Huh?" Johnny asked, "What?"
"You were doing it again bro," Broseph spoke up from his place on the warm sand. The three of them had just finished surfing and where now watching as Emma, Fin and Lo took to the waves.
"Doing what?"
"Staring at Emma and sighing," Reef replied. Johnny felt his cheeks heat up. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Oh, sorry guys," he said, "I just can't help it."
"We know," Reef said, rolling his eyes, "You've only been making gaga faces over here ever since we got here. Why don't you just ask her out already?"
Johnny swallowed nervously.
He wanted nothing more than to ask Emma out on a real date. But every time he worked up the courage to do so; one of three things would happen. The first was that Emma would be in some sort of trouble or feeling down and she would assume he was just asking her to be nice. Second, that tool Ty would show up and Emma wouldn't hear him ask her. And thirdly, she would look up at him with those beautiful green eyes and he would forget everything, even his own name.
"I do not make 'gaga faces' at her and I can't just ask her out," he said, explaining his reasons to the other two. Reef laughed while Broseph shook his head, a laid back smile on his face.
"It's not funny you guys," Johnny said, getting to his feet and pacing the beach, "This is serious. Why can't I ask her out? You'd think it be easy."
"You have no self-confidence," Reef said, "You just gotta relax and go for it."
"Easy for you to say," the taller teen replied, "As a surfing instructor you get lots of practice on all of the girls who come to see you."
Reef grinned.
"What can I say? I'm just that lucky."
Johnny heard the girls laughing and once again he found himself staring at Emma. She had fallen off her board again but she was getting better. He really liked how dedicated she was when it came to learning how to surf. She wasn't afraid to fall down a few times and that was really brave of her.
Johnny sighed again. Reef picked up Johnny's board and knocked him over the head with it. Not hard, just firm enough to make a point.
"Ow!" Johnny complained, rubbing at the spot, "What was that for?"
"Again with the sighing!"
Broseph laughed.
"This is better than the movies man," he pointed out, "Johnny, bro. You know what? I'm totally gonna help you hook up with Emma."
Johnny and Reef looked at the beach bum and both of them burst out laughing.
"What?" Broseph said, "I can totally be a matchmaker, no problem."
"Sure," Reef said sarcastically, "You can even match your socks."
"Dude, that was one time and I only did it because Ripper stuffed the other ones with fish guts during initiation," Broseph shot back.
"Still, what makes you think you can hook me and Emma up?" Johnny asked.
"Are you kidding me?" Broseph asked, "I was Emma's first surfing instructor, and that practically makes her and me family! You should be happy that I'm letting you date my little sister, bro."
Leave it to Broseph to name someone his family member if they bonded over surfing. Johnny thought about this for a moment.
"How is a single guy gonna help me win the girl of my dreams?" he asked, feeling slightly like a dork for referring to Emma as such. But when Reef started to laugh about it he started to feel like a complete dork. Broseph ignored Reef's laughing and turned to Johnny.
"You assume I'm single," he said. That shut Reef up.
"You're seeing someone?" he asked, suddenly very interested in this conversation, "Who?"
"Not telling man," the afro wearing teen said with a grin. Reef scoffed.
"Yeah right, that means you're full of it."
"You can think what you want, but I think you're just ticked because Fin still thinks you're an idiot," Broseph pointed out. Reef crossed his arms over his chest.
"Like I care what she thinks...wait, did she really call me an idiot?"
"Now what are those three talking about," Fin mused to Lo. The two of them were sitting on their respective surf boards while Emma worked on getting back up on hers.
"Conspiring against us probably," Lo replied, "You know boys and their pranks."
"I swear if Reef runs my underwear up the flag pole again I'm gonna break his fingers," Fin said, thinking back to the last time Reef got together with Ripper and Lance to prank them.
"Pranks are better than initiation though right?" Emma asked, "I mean at least you can get them back if you want too. But with initiation we had no choice but to do what the seniors told us."
"Good point," Fin agreed, "My brothers and I used to pull pranks on each other all the time. There was one time when I took all the post-it notes I could find and posted them all over my older brother's car. Took him ages to get them off, but it was worth it."
"What did he do to you after that," Emma asked. Fin reached up and brushed some hair out of her face.
"He 'accidentally' put gum in my hair."
Lo laughed.
"Oh my gosh, no way, did he really?"
Fin nodded.
"And that's why I keep my hair short now."
"Aww, that's so mean," Emma said. The blonde shrugged.
"Naw, it wasn't a huge deal, my brother was so ticked off that he didn't get the right reaction," she replied, "Instead of flipping out on him I just went and got my hair cut."
"Well that's a good way to end a prank war," Lo said. Fin smirked.
"Are you kidding me?" she asked, "The next morning he went to work with bright pink hair! I slipped some dye into his leave in conditioner."
Emma, Lo and Fin all laughed.
"Come on man; tell me who the secret girlfriend is!" Reef said as Johnny and Broseph gathered up their surf boards. They were going to head back to the staff house in order to work on a game plan to help Johnny ask Emma out.
"No way dude."
"Why not? Are you embarrassed?"
"Nope, I just know that as soon as you know, the whole place will find out," Broseph replied, "I like my privacy."
"Come on Reef," Johnny said, "Just let it go."
The two of them then walked away, leaving a very annoyed Reef behind.
"I'm not gonna just 'let it go,'" he shouted after them, "Just you wait! I'll find out who she is Broseph. If it's the last thing I do! I will find out!"
As he was ranting a couple of guests walked by and arched their eyebrows at him.
"What?" he asked, "Just watch me find out!"
"Dude needs a hobby," Broseph said as he and Johnny walked away from a yelling Reef.
"So," Johnny mused, "Are you gonna tell me who the mystery girl is?"
"Nope."
"Aww man, why not? We've know each other for years, we're locals here."
"Look, if you manage to score a date with Emma, then I'll tell you," he replied. Johnny heaved a sigh and his shoulders slumped.
"Great, you might as well just tell me to climb Mount Everest."
Broseph laughed.
"Come on man, it'll be easy, don't worry, all we need is to find you someone to practice on."
"Like who? Fin and Lo are at the beach and if we ask Kelly there's no way I'll live it down. Besides, she freaks me out. And there are no other girls around here that we could ask."
They had just made it back to the staff house where they saw Lance and Ripper. The two of them didn't look busy so that gave Broseph an idea.
"No worries bro," he said, "I've got a plan."
Johnny watched as Broseph approached the two seniors.
"Hello boys," he said.
"What's up young Broseph?" Ripper asked.
"Dude, how were the waves?" Lance asked.
"Awesome, as usual, but I got a favour to ask you two."
The two seniors exchanged looks.
"And what might this favour be?" Ripper asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Broseph leant forward and whispered his request into their ears.
"What!" they cried in unison, "No way man!"
"Come on, just for like ten minutes, twenty tops. It for a good cause."
Ripper and Lance glared at Johnny, who waved, and then looked at each other.
"I'll rock, paper, scissors you for it," Lance proposed. Ripper nodded.
"Alright, fine," he said, and then glared at Broseph, "You owe one of us big time for this mate."
"Umm, Lo?"
"Yes?"
Emma blushed slightly.
"I was just wondering, how's Ty doing?"
Lo frowned.
"He's alright I guess."
"That's good, is he busy tonight?"
The rich girl sighed.
"Look, Emma, we're friends," she said, "But I can't report Ty's well being to you all the time and I'm not asking him out for you either."
Fin laughed as Emma flushed again.
"I wasn't gonna ask you to do that," she said, "I was just wondering what he was doing so I would know when I went to ask him out tonight."
Fin gasped.
"You're actually gonna ask him?"
"I was planning on it."
"No!" Lo said, "You can't!"
Emma cocked her head to the side.
"What's wrong Lo? You never cared before."
"Yeah," Fin agreed, "What's your damage?"
"No damage," the rich girl replied, "I just hate it when Ty dates my friends. Come on Emma, he hardly ever gets your name right! Hey, what about Johnny? He's a nice guy."
"Oh yeah, Johnny is such a good friend," Emma said with a smile, "It was so nice how he got rid of those kooks who tried to take over the Office that one time. He really came through for me and he totally didn't have to do that."
Fin smacked her forehead and Lo heaved a sigh.
"Emma, why do you think Johnny goes out of his way for you?" the rich girl asked.
"Friends help friends," the newbie surfer said, "I covered his shift at the front desk yesterday when he wasn't feeling well."
"Emma, Johnny likes you, as in likes-likes you," Fin said. Emma frowned slightly at them in her confusion. Then when what her two friends were trying to tell her sunk in, her jaw dropped.
"No way," she said, "It can't be."
"Why not?" Lo asked, "Johnny's cute, nice too."
"I never said he wasn't," Emma replied, "It's just..."
"Just what?" Fin asked her.
"Don't get me wrong, I like Johnny, I really do, but Ty..."
Lo scoffed.
"Trust me when I say you're better off with Johnny," she said, "Ty can be a real creep."
"Of course you think that," Emma replied, "He's your brother."
"And three of his ex-girlfriends are my friends," Lo shot back, "Yeah he's great when the relationship starts out, but as soon as he gets comfortable he doesn't put any effort into it anymore. Now Johnny, I can tell, he would always put everything he had into being in a relationship with you. Why not just give him a chance?"
Emma sighed.
"I don't know you guys," she said, "I'll think about it."
"Well that's a start," Fin said, "Come on girls, let's head back."
"Looking good Ripper," Lance laughed.
"This is your last warning mate, shut up," Ripper snapped as he pulled at the straps of the sundress he was wearing "I don't see why I have to be the girl."
"It's so Johnny can practise," Broseph reminded him, "And you lost at rock, paper, scissors."
"You make a very pretty girl though Ripper," Lance teased. The Australian teen pulled off one of the high heels he was wearing and threw it at Lance's head, hitting him right in the forehead.
"Ouch, man those things hurt."
"Let's concentrate people," Broseph said, he then turned to Johnny, "Okay Johnny man, just pretend that Ripper is Emma. Go up to her and ask her out."
Johnny looked at Ripper. There was no way he was ever going to be able to keep a straight face. Ripper was all decked out; pink dress, high heels, Broseph even made him put on some makeup and a wig. All Johnny could concentrate on was the fact that Ripper looked nothing like a girl, and certainly not even close to being as pretty as Emma. But, he didn't want Broseph's planning to go to waste, so he swallowed his pride, as Ripper did long ago, and went up to him.
"Umm, hey Emma," he said.
"Oh, hello there Johnny," Ripper said, making his voice extremely high pitched to try and sound like a girl. Johnny bit back a laugh, as did Lance and Broseph. Ripper was not amused.
"Next time, you're wearing the heels," he growled to them.
"Shh," Lance hushed him, "Don't break character."
Johnny cleared his throat.
"So...how are you today?"
"Oh, it's been a horrible day," Ripper replied, "I'm on my rag and I feel like I weigh ten thousand pounds. Does this dress make me look fat?"
Ripper then posed. Johnny was stunned into an awkward silence.
"Umm."
"I knew it! You do think I'm fat," Ripper said dramatically, cutting him off, "You're a horrible person Johnny, and no I will never go out with you!"
Broseph and Lance burst out laughing while Johnny was still at a loss for words.
"Sorry mate," Ripper choked out, also laughing, "I couldn't resist."
"Man, if you guys aren't gonna take this seriously, then forget it," Johnny said, "It's hard enough trying to work up courage to ask the real Emma, let alone this ugly fake."
Ripper gasped.
"That was hurtful, well maybe I don't feel like helping you anymore."
Ripper turned his back to Johnny and placed his hands on his hips, a motion that could easily mirror a girl's actions when she was mad.
"Fine!" Johnny shot back.
"Okay, we need to chill," Broseph said.
"He started it," Ripper insisted.
"Started what!"
"Well if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell ya, mate."
"Wow," Lance mused, "Ripper's really getting into this."
Broseph sighed; this was getting them nowhere fast.
"Johnny, just apologize and get to asking fake Emma out already."
"Okay fine," Johnny huffed as he turned to Ripper, "I'm sorry."
"That's alright mate, continue."
"Okay, so Emma, you're looking really pretty today."
"Aww, you're just saying that."
"No really, I mean it."
"Thanks Johnny, did you want something?"
Johnny could feel himself tense up. This was ridiculous. It wasn't even Emma and he was already freaking out. Maybe this was a lost cause.
"I, uh, umm, did you...you know, wanna maybe go out sometime? Like tonight for dinner. If not that's totally cool, I'd understand if you were busy or something."
"Oh I'd love too!" Ripper replied, "Now kiss me you crazy fool!"
"What!"
Before Johnny could react, Ripper jumped at him and latched his arms around his neck.
"Give us a kiss you stud!"
"Ripper, get off of me man!" Johnny shouted, trying to shove him off. Once again Broseph and Lance were in stitches. Ripper was making kissy faces at Johnny and Johnny was still trying to shove him off. And this was how Fin, Lo, and Emma found them when they returned from surfing.
"Umm, are we interrupting something?" Emma asked. Johnny was mortified, Ripper was blushing three shades of red and Broseph and Lance were on the ground, cracking up.
"This isn't what it looks like!" Johnny said, finally managing to shove Ripper off of him.
"Is that my dress?" Lo demanded. Ripper laughed.
"Hope you don't mind love," he said, "I think it looks pretty good on me though eh?"
Lo screamed in annoyance and started to chase down the Australian.
"Oh crap!"
While the two of them ran out of the house, Emma and Fin looked at Johnny.
"What was that all about?" Fin asked. Johnny's face was on fire.
"Umm."
"It was a play!" Lance burst in.
"A play?" Emma asked, not sounding convinced.
"Yeah, a play," Lance went on, "They were trying to do it like the old school Shakespeare days, you know, when men played the women's parts too."
"Wow!" Emma said, "That's a real homage to Shakespeare. Johnny that's so cool!"
Once again Johnny was reduced to a stammering fool.
"Umm, thanks Emma; that means a lot."
"I can see you as Othello myself," she said, "Or even Romeo."
"You could be Juliet," he said, before he could catch himself. Emma blushed.
"Well I don't know about that," she said, "I'm not a very good actress, but thanks anyway."
"No problem."
Fin and Emma left the three boys to head up to their rooms. Johnny sighed and watched them leave. Broseph nudged him.
"Nice one bro."
"RIPPER! GET BACK HERE!"
Broseph and Johnny stepped aside as Ripper, still in the dress, and Lo ran past them.
"Come on Lo, I swear I didn't rip it, or rip while I was in it!"
"I don't care, I'm gonna beat you for going through my clothes!"
"Whoever invented heels needs to be shot!" Ripper said, "How the heck is anyone supposed to run in these things!"
"Oh man," Broseph said, "That won't end well."
"Yeah, and now Emma thinks I'm in a Shakespearean play with Ripper as the leading lady," Johnny groaned, "I hate my life."
Winter-Rae: I love your life Johnny. Seriously, wrap that boy up, I'll take two! He's so cute! Same with Broseph. I love those kids. This is the first Stoked fanfic? OMG! That's so cool; I never thought I would be the first for posting something for it! I'm all excited! Now! Everyone, write more Stoked fics! Anyway, thanks for reading! Cheers!