Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters all belong to Amy Sherman Palladino. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.
Since Emily was always my favourite character of Gilmore Girls, this is a story told from Emily's POV. It's her thoughts about the events happening after "Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!" It will mainly focus on the separation from Richard. I'll include some dialogue that actual took place in the episodes – sometimes I'll add some new.
Chapter 1: Hotel RoomI did it – I've left Richard. I just couldn't take it anymore. He was acting like I wasn't even there. Like his wife, who had supported him for the last 39 years, didn't even have the right to know what's going on.
"It's going to be okay." –
that's not saying anything, but all he would say to me after the Stiles were gone. Of course I found out more eventually. About Floyd suing him.
I still can't believe, that Carol would actually participate in this drama – was like Blake Edwards night at the Gilmore Mansion - but she did, from being all nice to me and
"let's not let business come between us again", to "it's too late"
and leaving with her husband.
And here I am asking myself how I would've acted if Richard was planning such a coup – would I betray my friend and be so loyal to my husband? I honestly don't know. Perhaps yes (that is if I would still have a husband).
So in fact I've lost my husband and a friend over that damn business. Because that's all that matters to Richard now – his business. I can't say how much I hate that. He's even jeopardizing our relationship with Lorelai. I couldn't believe my ears, when I heard her begging her father to stop suing her boyfriend. I don't remember the last time she ever asked him for anything (except the Chilton money of course). And he let her down. He really did.
So I decided to give him one more chance to listen or talk to me. And he didn't – again. He's not even realizing what he's doing.
"We can't control what Lorelai will do. Rory won't go away. I'm doing what I have to do."
That's all he had to say. Then he turned around as if I was a maid who's allowed to go now. Well if he's doing what he has to do, then I'll do what I have to do, too.
If I'm that unimportant to him, he probably won't even notice that I'm gone. No that's unfair, I guess he will miss me at the dinner table, but since we haven't had a decent conversation in months I think he will get over it.
Am I getting over it? Sitting here in a hotel room – alone. I just packed a few clothes and drove to the next hotel. Just left him a note, that I would be there for Friday night dinner, because I don't want the girls to know. I think because I still have this dream, that he will realize his mistakes. That he will come over apologizing for cutting me out of his life. For not consulting me anymore. I don't want him to do everything I say, no surely not, I just want him to listen to me. I want things to be the way they were at the beginning of our marriage – and to be honest for many years after.
When did we change? When was the point were we lost our ability to communicate?
I admit that it hurt when he cancelled my party for Jason's trip – and to be honest what did hurt me most was the fact, that he didn't realize how important that party was to me. That he left me standing there alone and went to his study instead of saying "I'm sorry Emily, but I think we should really try Jason's way – I'm sorry that you put so much effort into this, please don't be mad." Then I wouldn't have been so hurt. Because it's true what I said to Lorelai. I'm doing (well did) this kind of thing for Richard for the last 39 years. If he thinks we should cancel the party it's fine with me. If only he'd recognized that it's not just a silly party, that I did put effort into this, that this is work, too. But nothing.
Then came the Yale game. There I found out that he was lying to me since we were married. So is our marriage a lie?
If only Lorelai wouldn't have spoken to that woman – but then it was unfair to blame it on her. I know that. But I needed someone to be mad at and since Richard was gone…
I still can't believe that he didn't tell me about Pennylin. That day something broke inside me – I can't say what exactly – perhaps my unfailing trust in our marriage. That we would never betray each other. Because even if it was only lunch, it was a betrayal. I don't understand Richard anymore, but then have I ever? Since he was lying the whole time about this I honestly don't know anymore.
But this is not the reason I left. If it would be, I would have left right after the game. In fact he did apologize several times for not telling me. And I accepted his apology. Because I know that I would have made him a scene, if he would have told me he was going out to lunch with his ex-girlfriend. Not that he was right in lying to me, but I understand his motives – he always tried to avoid conflict in not telling me. He did the same when he quit his job.
The maid is coming and brings me my dinner. I don't want to eat downstairs – I don't want people to stare at me. I'm not very hungry anyway. I'm just eating some fruits. After finishing I return to my thoughts.
I don't understand Richard. Does he understand me?
"No need for you to hit any more stores, Emily. You've done enough shopping for a lifetime."
That's what he thinks of me, that all I'm doing is shopping – is he right? Cause I did a lot of shopping the last days, I know that. That was my way escaping reality. I wonder if things would've been different if I'd taken Lorelai's advice to make him talk to me.
For a short moment I wanted to start this conversation, but just when I was about to he told me that he and Jason would go to Manhattan to meet some clients. I didn't know about his trip. So I dropped my talk. If he can't even tell me his travel plans in time, how can we talk about our marriage problems?
Or was I just afraid of this talk? Cause I'm not good at this, I know that. But with Richard – my old Richard – I didn't have that much trouble to express my feelings. I've always felt safe around him. But he has changed a lot. (Or is it me? Have I changed? – No I don't think so – if he wouldn't cut me out of all the important decisions in his life – our life, I would love to be his wife again).
I'm still sitting in the hotel room, trying to figure out what I want to do now. Deep inside I'm hoping for the phone to ring and Richard being on the other end, telling me to come home. I know I didn't tell him where I am, but if he really wanted to, he could find out.
My thoughts are returning to the evening, where he accused me of shopping to much. I remember how I begged him to shave his moustache.
"And please shave that moustache, I beg of you."
"I will shave it when I shave it."
That stupid moustache – and he refuses to shave it. I've asked him many times to do so, but no. I wonder if he knows how ridiculous that makes him look. Why is he refusing shaving? Just to annoy me? Sometimes I think that's the only reason. Cause honestly he can't truly like it, can he?
So here I am waiting for next Friday and the things to come. I really do hope we can pretend to be still together. I don't want the girls to know that we failed. And I certainly don't want society to know that either. I don't want to be the center of gossip.
I hope you liked it. I apologize for any mistakes in the language – English is not my Mother language. It's my first fanfic, so I would appreciate honest reviews. Don't hesitate to criticize.