Ryker: Please don't get mad at me for this fic. It took me a long time to write and I've actually been waiting for a fic like this. Disclaimer now: PIDGE IS 18 IN THIS FIC! SHE IS AN ADULT! Thank you all.
Now, if you saw the tags and disliked the content or even don't like what you read please don't delete me.
Anyway, thank you Maddie for helping me with this! (88madison88 on tumblr). She helped so much with this, and she's the Pidge to my Matt (in no relation to this fic whatsoever) so go check her out on tumblr! Also thanks to the entire kink squad for being there when I was not confident in this fic, they helped me keep writing to I love you guys!
Tell me what you think of this fic, it took me so long to write it, and in my docs it was 38 pages so enjoy~
The Start:
Every origin story wraps the listener in a sense of false security. If you came for that, you are reading the wrong story.
I woke up in a daze and tried to stretch my arms but I hit something soft and warm. Out of instinct, I snapped my eyes open and rolled away from the mysterious thing when I slammed into the wall. My thighs were crusted with a stickiness that made me want to hurl. Wait… I'm naked?!
Then it hit me, I remember what happened last night!
It's not that I forgot, I was actually the only sober one on this entire ship, but it all happened so fast I was wondering if that was just a dream. It's not everyday a person gets to be with the one they truly care about.
I laid back down on the cloud-like pillow as he groaned and rubbed his temples. He shook his head before he looked over at me and nearly jumped out of bed.
"Hey," I smiled lazily at him.
"P-Pidge!" His voice raised a few octaves in a panic, "A-are you- did we-?" He was referring to our nakedness.
"Yeah," I said as I pulled the sheets over my body and continued to walk on these eggshells around him, "Is there something wrong with that?"
He flopped out of bed and pulled on his underwear. He threw my clothes at me frantically.
"Hunk!" I yelled at him to get his attention, "Calm down-"
"You can't be here!" he gasped, "And keep your voice down. Nobody can know you were here."
"Why?" I hissed as I threw on my large shirt and pants ignoring any underwear. I'm going to shower so might as well save myself the pain of dressing and undressing and dressing again… it makes more sense in my head.
"Shay-" of fucking course…
Hunk, the man that I've been madly in crush with for years now, has had this fling with the space rock named Shay. (Yes, I know calling her a space rock is mean but can you blame me?) I've had to sit by and watch them get together then be a shoulder for Hunk to cry on when they got into a fight.
Funny enough, last night he had a fight with her, which led to him crying to me. He told me that he loved me and not her, how was I supposed to react? It made my heart beat so fast and my hands trembled more than when I'm fighting a Galra soldier. I thought I had finally had everything. I found my brother and father, we backed Zarkon into a corner, everything seemed to work out.
"Well," I stormed off of his bed and turned away from him so he didn't see my misty eyes. My heart hurt, it felt like someone reached in my chest and squeezed the organ with all their might. "Sorry to think that I could be liked by you. Whatever. I'll leave."
"Pidge wait," Hunk reached for me but I had already pressed the button to open his door.
"What Hunk?!" I growled, "What can you possibly say to make me not think everything you said was a lie? You just used me to make yourself feel better. Well, I hope you're happy because go fuck yourself." I ran out of the room as I heard my voice quiver.
I pushed past anything in my way (which happened to be Lance, some decoration in the castle, and Allura. Maybe Coran? I couldn't tell, I started sobbing half way) and ran right into the bathroom that Allura and I shared. I requested my own bathroom after I walk in on Keith and Lance, how do I put this, fucking like bunnies (I can't get that mental image out of my head).
I felt like I couldn't breathe as I threw off my clothes and tried to wash away any memories.
For the rest of the day, I avoided contact from anyone. I couldn't be bothered by such things as my body felt like it had been sucker punched over and over again.
Over a week's time, I lightened up to the other Paladins, but still held a grudge against Hunk. I kept my word and didn't breathe a word about what happened between us.
Month One :
Not only was I late on my monthly 'fuck you', I was puking my guts out in the bathroom nearly every morning, or when I'm around Coran's Altean perfumes. I thought I was sick since I grew more tired with every passing day.
It was the middle of training, it snuck up on me. I was sparring with Hunk (of fucking course) when a wave of nausea washed over me. I stopped lunging at Hunk and bent over wheezing.
"Pidge, oh my god," he breathed as he turned to the rest of the team, "Guys! Pidge!"
He grabbed my shoulder but I slapped him away and back up against the wall. Beads of sweat rolled down my temple as I threw a hand over my mouth. Bile burned my throat for the second time today.
"Get a can!" Lance yelled, but it was too late.
I couldn't hold it and I threw up space goo and my dignity all over the floor (not like projectile vomit, more like just in front of me). I fell to my knees and trembled as I was getting sick of being, well, sick!
"Are you okay?" Shiro asked.
"Does it look like I'm fucking okay?!" I snapped. Keith helped me to my feet.
Allura ordered me to bed immediately which I didn't complain about.
Coran looked at me since he was like the nurse of the Voltron team. The rest of the team crowded around us.
"Well?" Shiro tapped his foot nervously.
"There's nothing wrong with her," Coran sighed, "Maybe it's because you're missing your monthly bleeding-"
"You missed your period?" Shiro interrupted.
I took a deep breath, "It's only one month, it's normal for young girls to miss their periods. I mean, I'm only eighteen, not uncommon especially with the stress of being a Paladin. Maybe I just caught something or the food didn't agree with me."
I tried not to think about having sex with Hunk and if he used protection or not. I can't be pregnant, Pidge Gunderson doesn't even like kids!
They left me to rest and all I could do is listen to the thoughts that swirled in my head causing fear to twitch at my fingers. I told myself that if I don't get better in another month I'll tell Allura. She must understand. For now, I'll take it one tick at a time.
Second Month:
Okay, so it's not better at all. I've started to hide my illness, but sparring is more painful after my chest stung at the simple touch. Also, it's been about two months since I had my period, I'm not concerned at all, I'm petrified. But I said that I would give it a month.
Third Month/Finding Out:
Skip right to the good stuff. Nothing has gotten better and my suspicions are all too real. I'm not stupid, I can tell when a person is expecting and I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant (gag me.).
I asked for Allura to meet me in my room since I was in a bind. If I remember the pictures my Mom showed me, Holt women tend to show immediately. It was obvious since I've been puking my guts out yet somehow my abdomen is swelling slightly. I've cried up every night until my throat was dry and I've stayed with Shiro some nights (since he's like Space Dad. Also, he's known me since pre Garrison times, he sort of had a fling with my brother).
"Pidge," the kind Altean entered my room, "Is everything alright?"
Allura has turned into a mother figure for me. After spending four years on this ship, I've realized that she is someone to trust.
My fingers toyed with the sheets anxiously as Allura took a seat at my bedside. She placed a hand over mine and flashed me a calming smile.
"D-do you know how humans… um… r-reproduce?" I asked trying to spit out the words clogging in my throat.
"Yes, Shiro told me after the whole Lance and Keith incident," Yeah, that incident happened more than once… everywhere…
I took a deep breath.
It's okay, just tell her. The damage has been done, and it's best for Allura to hear the easy way instead of hiding a pregnancy till the last second and causing more trouble than it's worth.
"I-I think I'm pregnant," I squeaked out with my eyes shut tight so I could see her reaction.
A pregnant silence (yes I used that for irony) fell over the room. I bit hard on my bottom lip to prevent any weak tears from spilling (my emotions have been buzzing all over the place).
I jumped as I felt an arm wrap around me. I looked over to see Allura holding me close to her. She rubbed my back before she backed up with a mournful smile.
"How long have you known?" she asked gently.
I thought this was going to go much worse! I imagined Allura getting so mad she exploded and everyone found out which they dropped me off at some random planet because they didn't like me anymore or something… I've had a lot of time to overreact.
"I don't know for sure, but I think I've known from the start," I replied, "I sort of had s-sex with Hunk three months ago."
"Does he know?"
I shook my head, "He freaked out the next morning and told me not to tell anyone. So I didn't," I grabbed her arm, "You can't tell anyone! Y-you have to help me get rid of it!" That was a lie. The idea of being pregnant sort of excited me. It's something that unique to my body, but I still hate children. (trust me, I'm just as confused as you are).
"Pidge!" she gasped, "There is a living being inside of you right now, plus I don't know enough about Earth pregnancies to help you in any way." I couldn't hold back my tears and let them flow down my cheeks.
"Help me," I breathed through my sobs, "Please."
"Oh Pidge," she wiped away my tears, "I'll tell you what, since Voltron isn't extremely necessary now that Zarkon is contained, so I'll drop you off on Earth and just say that you are no longer fit for Voltron. Be with your family."
"Thank you!" I lunged over to hug her, "But you're my family too."
By my fourth month, I was back on Earth and left Voltron behind.
Parting with the green lion had been the hardest moment of my life, but I know I'll see her again.
Eighth Month:
Why did I skip so many months? Well, nothing exactly happened except for baby shopping, my stomach becoming a fucking watermelon, and me binge-watching every show I missed.
I told my family, it went something like this:
I sat everyone down at the dinner table. They wanted to know why I was home.
"I'm pregnant," every jaw dropped, "About four months to be exact."
"Who did this?!" Matt yelled, "Was it Lance? Keith?!" Yup, I spat out my water hearing that. "Hunk? It was Hunk wasn't it?! I'll kill him!"
"Wow calm down," I said.
"I'm so excited that I'll be a grandmother!" Mom cheered, "Oh Honey, this will be amazing!"
Dad said nothing. It was concerning. But apparently he had the same reaction when my mom told him that she was pregnant.
.,.,.,.,.,.,.
I laid on the couch with one hand on my extended belly and the other with the remote.
"Well baby, what is it today?" the baby was more active. By active, I mean kicking me in the kidney every now and then. I've also seen them move inside of me, it's terrifying! But at this point I can't see my feet.
Matt has become my personal butler. I call it, payback for all those years being pushed around!
"Matt!" I screamed, "I'd like something to eat!" Silence, "HEY MATT!"
"Pidge?" my blood ran cold when I saw the man with a scar across his nose and a white tuft of hair.
"S-Shiro?!" I grabbed my stomach.
He chuckled as he sat down on the coffee table.
"It's okay, I've known since the day you threw up in the training room," he sighed, "I just wish you told me sooner. We miss you." The truth is, I missed the Voltron team like crazy. Seeing Shiro made old memories flare up and my heart pounded in my chest.
"Why are you guys back?" I huffed.
"Because the Universe doesn't really need us anymore," he said, "And I wanted to rekindle what I had with Matt. I-I'm in love with him."
Great for you…
"Why haven't you told him yet?" I felt something snap inside of me.
Whenever I tell someone, they ask why I haven't told the father. It's getting on my nerves.
"Why do I have to tell him?" I yelled, "I can be a single Mom and nobody would care. Do I need to have the father know? Does Hunk have to know about this? NO, he doesn't! So I suggest you take it and shove it up your-" a sharp pain swelled in my abdomen. My hands flew to my stomach as I hissed out a sharp breath.
Shiro knelt by my side and gasped, "Katie, what's wrong?!"
"N-nothing," I hissed through the pain, "They just kicked me really hard and it hurt." The pain turned into a light sting.
"Let me get you some water or something," Shiro jumped to his feet.
Maybe Shiro isn't as bad as I thought, I mean, it's not like Hunk is here questioning my pregnancy. Plus, he's here for Matt, not me.
I smiled and grabbed his arm.
"That's okay," I felt the baby kicking again, "Do you want to feel? They're very active."
His panic seemed to wash away as he slowly sat at the side of the couch and touched my swollen stomach. His eyes lite up when he felt my baby react to him.
"This is amazing," he breathed. It's been so long since I've seen Shiro beam with such happiness.
Matt came down the stairs with apple slices in hand. He brushed his hands on the back of the couch and sighed contently. Shiro looked up to see Matt gazing down on the touching moment. I could almost feel the pride oozing out of both of them (and I can already tell which relatives I will ask to watch my baby when they are born).
My stomach grumbled since I haven't eaten second lunch yet (my child really likes second lunch). "As much as I love this touching moment," I flicked Shiro's hand off of me, "I'm hungry and would love those apple slices right about now."
"Oh, sorry Katie," Matt laughed awkwardly as he handed me the white ceramic plate, "Hey Shiro, let's talk upstairs."
Sure, because two young adults with a mutual burning passion for each other will just 'talk' when they are all alone. So when they left, I turned the TV up so loud that it could drown out a thunderstorm.
After seeing Shiro again, there is a sharp void in my chest. If Shiro is back, that means everyone else is on Earth. It makes me wonder if Hunk is here or if he even wants to see me. What if he stayed with Shay or maybe he fell in love with someone else.
I didn't notice the tears slipping down my cheeks until a droplet rolled down my chin and tickled my neck. My chest tightened as another sob spewed from my throat. I felt the baby kick me again as if they were telling me that these empty feelings were ridiculous because I have them.
I patted my stomach with a soft smile since they were right. "I love you little one," I said through sniffles, "I can't wait to meet you."
Ninth Month/Due Date:
It was a beautiful late spring morning when it happened.
I'll spare you the grotesque details of childbirth, but let me tell you, I was in a hospital for nearly 16 hours in labor. It felt like my insides were stabbing me with a thousand burning hot needles and injecting me with poison.
My Mom and Matt were there for support (I nearly bit the nurse's head off when he told me that I had to kick either mom or Matt out. So the nurse let me have both of them). I remember every excruciating moment of having a natural birth (like with no pain drugs at all). I felt like my body was being torn in half and my lower half was on fire.
Yet, it was all worth it when I heard a little voice crying from the big new world. The hole in my heart was instantly filled when I cracked open my teary eyes to see a tiny child caked in blood and birthing fluid. They thrashed around in the nurse's hands as he took them to get cleaned off.
Mom brushed away the locks of sweaty hair from my face and Matt squeezed my hand gently. I slumped back against my pillows as I tried to process what had happened.
I mean me, Pidge Gunderson, just gave birth to a baby! Everything was so surreal! It felt like a dream, like I was looking in through a freshly polished window. I didn't even think of Hunk or the rest of the team.
"You did it," Mom smiled, "I'm so proud of you."
"I'm an Uncle!" Matt squealed happily.
The nurse came back with a child swaddled in a white and green dotted blanket and a beautiful white hat. I asked Mom to get Dad and Shiro since they were waiting out in the lobby. Then I reached out my arms and he showed me how to hold a baby.
Dad and Shiro were filled with joy when they saw the baby and me. The baby was silent, their light brown eyes scanned my face. Their skin was a shade lighter than Hunks and they had Hunk's nose and lips.
"He has no idea what he's missing," I whispered to the baby.
But Hunk literally has no idea because I never told him and I don't plan on it any time soon. What if Hunk hates the baby because they were unplanned? What if Hunk has a girlfriend and she's pregnant so he doesn't even care about my baby? All these nervous thoughts gave me a headache. I decided that I will tell the baby about Hunk just in case I run into him, but I won't go out of my way to get in touch with him.
The nurse tapped his clipboard, "Well," I looked up at him, "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"
"Oh yeah of course," I nodded.
"Congratulations Ms. Holt, you have a baby boy," he said, "Do you have any idea on the name yet or should I give you some time?"
I had been thinking of baby names for the past 5 months. If it was a girl, I would name her Kari. But for a boy… "Nathan Garrett Holt." Garrett in tribute to Hunk, Nate might as well have a little bit of his father.
"That's a beautiful name," Shiro rested his chin on the top of Matt's head and wrapped his arms around my brother.
"Welcome to the world Nate," I brushed a finger over his velvety cheek.
I knew I would protect him for as long as I could. I would make sure he is happy and healthy and a kind child. I thought my heart was about to burst from the amount of love poured into it.
Seven Years Later:
I moved out of my house when Nate was two and settled in a beautiful little apartment. I worked at Galaxy Garrison teaching the students about aliens and my travels as a Paladin (by now everyone knew of the great Paladins of Voltron).
Shiro and Matt helped out whenever I needed them. Actually, they got engaged a year ago. Their wedding was coming up in a few days and I was Matt's Maid of Honor/Best Man while Nate took the role of ring bearer.
.,.,.,.,.,.
My morning started like any other, I rolled out of bed like I just crawled out of a grave. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, and started breakfast (which was eggs and cereal). Unlike weekdays, weekends were never hectic. It felt like the world stopped and took a nice deep breath.
"Mom!" and there is my chaotic little ball of sunshine.
"Good morning Nate," I smiled and grabbed some plates from the cabinets next to the stove.
Nate hopped up on one of the stools that were behind the granite counter top which separated the small living room from the kitchen.
Nate has his father's rich brown hair and his skin was littered with little freckles. He was the smartest person I knew, which is saying something. Nate had the intelligence of a 16 year old honors student.
"Hey Nate, have you brushed your teeth yet?" he nodded and swung his legs back and forth. He happily ate his meal. "Hey bud listen, we have to go to the hotel in a few hours, so pack what you need not what you want."
"Same goes for you Mom," he flashed me a cheeky smirk.
I scoffed playfully, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean pack me, that's all you need, right?"
Butterflies filled my chest as I ran over and pulled my son into my arms. I brushed my fingers through his mop-like hair (he refuses haircuts since he wants to have Matt's hair) and kissed his cheek.
Nate snuggled into the hug quickly before I let go and left to go pack my bag. The hotel was five hours away and we had to meet Matt and Shiro for the rehearsal dinner. I had the emerald green dress that Matt wanted me to wear, it had spaghetti straps and a heart shaped top (you know when the part that covers your boobs looks like the top of a heart. I'm not the dress-wearer type.). It was fitting until it reached my mid stomach and it puffed out. The bottom of the dress went to the top of my knees. I even bought black shoes with a slight heel to them!
Nate had a tiny little suit (it was so fucking adorable) with a green tie to match my dress. I promised Nate the first dance at the wedding.
.,.,.,.,.,.
The hotel was beautiful, but generic. The floors were laced with an oddly patterned rug and the walls were a cream color. My room had two beds since Nate requested his own. We threw our stuff on the bed since it was nearly time to meet Matt and Shiro in the lobby.
"Ready Nate?" I smiled at him and he jumped for joy. I swear, this kid will kill me with his cuteness.
In the lobby waited Matt and Shiro. Nate squealed when he saw his Uncles and leaped into Shiro's arms.
"Wow Matt," I said as we made our way to the fancy shuttle that will take us to this nice little event center type place that specializes in these sort of things, "I never thought I'd see the day that you got married before me but I had a kid before you."
"Hey," he wrapped an arm around me, "Hunk doesn't know what he's missing. I'm sure if he knew Nate, he would think otherwise."
"But it's been seven years," I sighed, "As much as I'd want you to be right, Hunk has forgotten about me by now."
"Nobody could forget my sister," he said before he went to sit next to Shiro.
Nate plopped himself in my lap to play with the strings on my sweatshirt.
"Mom, tell me about Dad again," Nate loved hearing about his father.
"Well, your Dad was the best engineer I knew. He was gentle and brave and he always put others before himself. He would love you if he knew you," I reached up to cup his cheek, "He saved my life countless times, and he's an excellent chef."
"Why isn't he with us?" one of Nate's favorite questions. I couldn't tell my seven year old that I slept with someone that didn't really have feelings for me and I got pregnant.
"It's not his fault at all. I just got scared and… I'll tell you when you're older," I kissed his cheek.
He grumbled, "You always say that." I grabbed his sides and wiggled my fingers making the child laugh. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and cried, "Mommy!" His words were muffled through his innocent laughter. I smiled along with him as I pulled him into a hug.
The shuttle stopped and let us off at the venue which was beautiful. It was a big white building with a multitude of flowers around it. Vines crept up the sides making the building look worn. I placed a hand on Nate's back and led him through the glass double doors.
I felt extremely under dressed (since I was in a black t-shirt and hoodie and plain blue jeans) when I saw the silky looking wallpaper and the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Marble statues of little plump angels were littered around the room. And that was just the lobby. There were two doors to the right and left that led into the 'party' rooms.
Yet, this is where everything goes downhill. Everything froze when I saw the five people standing in the middle of the lobby. My heart exploded into my throat as I took two unsteady steps back.
"Pidge!" the blue paladin cheered, "It's been so long!"
Then I saw him. The man that destroyed my heart but gave me the most precious gift I could ever ask for. The man that resembles Nate since he is Nate's father… Hunk Garrett. He looked the same except he wore a green ribbon around his head.
Lance and Keith were hand-in-hand with their two children next to them. I can't believe Lance and Keith had children. Hunk's eyes went from my face to Nate's and I swear, I could see his eyes gasp.
"Who is that?" Hunk asked looking at Nate.
"O-oh-" I was about to speak when Nate giggled.
"I'm Nathan, but everyone calls me Nate!" he grabbed my hand knowing exactly what he was doing, "This is my Mom."
Hunk was speechless. His fists balled at his sides as he marched up to me.
"Hunk I can explain-" I squeaked.
"Why didn't you tell me?!" he yelled.
I put my hands up in defense, "Let's talk about this outside, please."
Hunk grabbed my hand and yanked me out of the building. He was trembling…
He sat on the curb and hung his head between his knees. I heard him let out a muffled yell and he shook his head. I hesitantly placed myself next to him. Every move I made was like maneuvering around shards of jagged glass. Guilt pinched my very core as I looked at him.
"Hunk, I-"
"Why didn't you say anything?" his voice quivered. His brown eyes were glistening with tears.
I took a shaky breath, "I-I thought you didn't like me. I didn't want my- our baby to grow up with Shay as his mother and he completely forgot me. I just really liked you back then and when you had sex with me, I thought you liked me too. Then you mentioned Shay the next morning and I thought you wanted to be with her."
"Pidge, that's what you thought?" he rested his hand on my shoulder, "No, I liked you too but I didn't want you to think I was using you to get over Shay. Now I feel terrible that you had my baby without me. He has been living his life not even knowing me and I have no idea who he is."
Wait, did he just say he liked me? Wow, I feel like an idiot…
"Hunk I'm so sorry, I didn't know," I breathed.
"I'm furious with you," he said, "You hid my own son from me. You know how much I've wanted a family!"
"So why didn't you start one when I left?" I huffed as I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Because I couldn't bring myself to date anyone else, not after I hurt you."
I can't be mad at him. It was a big misunderstanding and now my son had grown up without his father. Yet now I can't expect Hunk to welcome me with open arms…
"Mom," Nate trotted over to me, "Uncle Matt and Uncle Shiro wanted to make sure that you two didn't kill each other, and it's time to eat."
I breathed out a smile as I stood up and put a hand on his back.
"Before I do that," I nudged him towards Hunk, "I know this is a lot to put on your shoulders but meet Hunk, he's your father. Hunk, this is Nate, your son."
"I knew that," Nate giggled, "I've seen pictures of him, plus Uncle Shiro told me that he would be here but to keep it a secret from you. Sorry Mom!" He held out his little hand, "Nice to meet you, Sir."
Hunk's jaw dropped to the floor. He shakily brought his hand up to shake Nate's, and I could tell all Hunk wanted to do was smoother Nate in a bear hug. The child was a slender version of a mini Hunk (with my eyes and facial structure). He was seeing his son for the first time.
"Um," Hunk cleared his throat, "Y-you can call me Hunk if you'd like."
Nate nodded and yanked him to his feet, "Mom told me all about you! Is it true that you are the Paladin of the Yellow Lion? OH were you on Mom's team at the Garrison? Wait, no, did you once fight the kitchen with Mom? Better, did you-"
"Nate, I think Hunk needs to time to breathe, let's go inside and you can meet Lance and Keith, okay?" He was so excited.
Nate's eyes lite up like a Christmas tree. He'd told me that when he was old enough, he would look for his father but now the man was standing right next to him. This must be like Halloween, Christmas, Easter, and his birthday wrapped into one present.
We went back inside where Shiro led us into the room on the right. The walls oozed purple cloth and on every table was a tiny basket with fresh growing flowers. The tables were covered in an innocent white cloth while fancy plate settings cluttered every table.
"Mom and Dad will meet us later when we go over what will happen during the wedding," Matt said as he brought us to the long table at the front of the room, "This is where we will sit."
I nodded as sat down next to Matt. Lance and Keith sat across from me with their two kids.
"Nate," I whispered to my son, "The man with the mullet is Keith, the Paladin of the red lion, and the one with the short hair and scruffy face is Lance, the Paladin of the blue lion."
"Why are you saying our names?" Lance hollered at me.
"I'm introducing you to my son, is that a crime?" I rolled my eyes.
The doors swung open and two figures ran into the room.
"I'm sorry we're late!" I recognize that voice…
"There was no parking for an alien spaceship," Wait… Coran?
Shiro shook his head, "It's alright guys, you made it just in time. Have a seat."
Allura, Princess of Altea, took a seat next to Coran. The two hadn't changed. Allura still had snow white puffy hair and a golden smile while Coran's mustache was on point. My heart ached when I saw them, but it was a pleasant burn.
Allura gasped, "Pidge! It's been ages, last I saw you, you were-" then her eyes trailed to Nate and her words dribbled off of her lips, "He's beautiful."
"Thank you, this is Nate," I ran my fingers through my son's silky dark hair, "Nate, that is Princess Allura and Coran."
He nodded sweetly and snuggled closer to me. He's never been a shy child, but if he's surrounded by strangers, he tends to cling closer to me or Matt. I wrapped an arm around him squeezed his shoulder.
"It's very nice to meet you, Nate," Allura bowed her head slightly.
Coran spluttered, "Who is this 'Nate' person?"
"He's my son," I said, "That's kind of why I left Voltron."
Coran nearly dropped to the floor at my words. I don't think he understands human reproduction, or he does but he is surprised that I had a baby. Either way, Allura had to squeeze the life out of his arm to keep him quiet.
The night went on and Lance introduced his adopted children, a small girl only a few years younger than Nate, her name was Callie. Then they adopted a teenage boy named Salem. Though the two Paladins were still just 'boyfriends' they consider themselves to be married. Lance treated Callie like his little Princess and he adores to dress her up in beautiful dresses (which she asks him to dress her up) and the two would play Fairy Tale together. Though Keith tries to encourage their daughter to try other things, like sports and art, she mainly listens to Lance. Salem, on the other hand, adores Keith. The two have a similar story where they were thrown from every foster home, unwanted and unloved, yet Keith strived to give Salem the life he deserved.
Nate chatted with Hunk the entire time. He was curious about what traits he got from his father and the stories about him. Nate wondered about his grandparents from his father's side and he learned about Hunk's bakery (which Nate loves to bake with me). The two of them bonded.
We went over what would happen at the wedding and then we all went back to the hotel (Mom and Dad were glaring at Hunk the entire time).
My body still vibrated from the excess anxiety after facing my fears. So when we got back to the hotel, I turned on the TV for Nate and took a nice shower. The steam rejuvenated my tired limbs as the hot water soaked serenity into my skin.
I slipped into my loose green lounge shorts and a relaxed tank top that is also loose fitting and meant for sleep. After all these years, I decided to grow my hair out a bit but it has become a bother so I just braid it back. I'll probably cut it soon, but for now it reaches to about the middle of my back.
When I walked out of the bathroom, Nate was watching a special about the stars (because he claims that kids shows are too 'young' for him). He was sprawled out on the queen sized bed in his Star Wars pajamas. He was obsessed with space and he swears he will become a great space explorer one day.
There was a knock on the door and I assumed it was Matt or Shiro freaking out about tomorrow. I lazily answered the door with a calming smile until I saw the person standing in the door frame. I felt the familiar panic set in the pit of my stomach.
"Can I come in?" the yellow Paladin asked.
So, reality check; I was in my pajamas (braless might I add, and not that I care) and my hair was soaking while I was in the process of braiding it. Hunk was in a plain rich yellow t-shirt and black cargo pants, but somehow he was more stunning than I remember. I wanted to be in his loving arms, kiss him gently and feel every inch of his hot body. I haven't felt this way in over seven years, and it's so awkward. My cheeks were burning red as I thought of the last time I had these thoughts (which was when we created Nate).
"Um, Pidge," he waved a hand in front of my face.
"O-oh, sorry," I tried to laugh it off, "Come in, Nate and I were just watching a show about the stars."
Hunk walked in and Nate leaped off of the bed with an excitable grin. He smacked the edge of the bed next to him telling Hunk to sit there. I sat on the other side of Nate and I could feel him bouncing on the bed.
"This is so cool," he squealed, "I have my Mom and my Dad here! I'm so happy!"
"Listen, just because your father is here doesn't mean-"
"I know Mom, that doesn't mean you two are getting back together," we never were together in the first place, "But I'm just happy that I get to spend time with both of you." Nate turned to Hunk. He hesitantly leaned over to Hunk. Hunk jumped at the touch at first but then he wrapped an arm around the small boy. A soft smile rested on his lips as he felt Nate nuzzle himself closer to Hunk's side.
I couldn't help but admire them but also feel jealous. I wanted Nate to cling closer to me and snuggle himself against my side, after all I'm his mother, but Hunk is his father.
After an hour, we were reclining against the wall with the pillows behind us. Nate had fallen asleep against Hunk's side and Hunk continued to rub small circles over the child's back. We were both tired, but Hunk didn't want to wake Nate and I didn't want to move (I'm lazy, sue me). The only light that filled the room was the dull glow from the TV.
"I'm sorry," Hunk whispered.
"Why?" I looked over at him.
"I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I had dreamed of being with you and making you smile, maybe having a family, but I messed everything up that one night. We had too much to drink and I just let my emotions flow, then when I saw you laying there I thought I had used you and I couldn't forgive myself. Then you had this little guy," he smiled down at Nate, "And I missed everything. I missed his first word, his first steps, his first laugh. I missed it all. I'm still mad at you, but I'd really like to get to know Nate."
I was speechless. Of course I feel guilty for keeping Hunk away from his son. I did it because I was scared and it's not fair to anyone.
"I want you to be in his life," I told him, "I feel terrible for keeping him a secret. We just had a big misunderstanding that cost Nate his father and it was so selfish of me." My breaths became more shallow as sobs erupted in my throat. "I-I'm a bad mother."
Hunk reached over and grabbed my hand, "Katie, you are not a bad mother. You raised this precious little boy all on your own. I'd say you're a great mom." I scooted closer to them so I could rest my head on Hunk's shoulder but I spooned myself over Nate so I didn't crush him. Hunk held Nate and me closer to him and something in my chest just clicked together. I don't know if it was because it's midnight or I've had an emotional day, I just wanted to spend the rest of my life in this moment. I felt myself doze off surrounded by the warmth of Hunk and Nate.
.,.,.,.,.,.
When I woke up, I was still in Hunk's arms. I had a flash of deja vu until I realized that Nate was in between us. I squirmed out of their grasp to make my way into the bathroom to get ready for my day. I threw on a NASA shirt and some jeans while I went through Nate's suitcase to grab a shirt and jeans for him to wear today.
Nate woke up with Hunk. He jumped up and ran into the bathroom which left Hunk and me alone.
I chuckled awkwardly, "Well, that happened."
"This doesn't mean I forgive you," he grumbled and I realized nothing had changed and the hole in my chest just grew bigger. I sat down on my bed and looked at my feet trying my best not to cry. "But," he tilted my chin up so I was looking into his rich brown eyes, "I think we're going in the right direction."
"Yeah," I barely spoke, my words were more breathless sounds.
I wanted to kiss him, but that would be too cliche and not the best move, so I let him go back to his room.
Nate was disappointed to see Hunk wasn't there when he got out of the bathroom. "Where did Hunk go?" he asked with a pout.
"He said he'd meet us for breakfast," I smiled.
"Good," Nate tapped his hands on my thighs as if he was playing the drums, "You know he likes you."
Nope, this is where I draw the line. When my seven year old son tells me about my dating life.
"You know, you shouldn't know about these things, you are too young," I grabbed his hands and raised them above his head which made him squeal in laughter. He pushed back to retaliate but I was stronger than him. "Let's go down for breakfast and meet up with everyone."
A tiny spark inside of my prayed that something like last night would happen again. And I had a feeling it would.
.,.,.,.,.,.
The wedding ceremony was beautiful! I almost cried as I saw my brother finally commit to the man he has loved since he was sixteen. At the reception and little party, I remained off to the side with a glass of water (since the last time I was at a party and drank I ended up pregnant so let's not have a repeat of that). I shared the first dance with Nate, but he went on to dance with Callie and Salem.
"Party girl Pidge is back in action I see," Keith joined me since Lance was busy teaching Hunk how to dance properly.
"Shut it," I rolled my eyes at him, "Not like you're any better."
"Hey, I danced with Lance," Keith snorted.
"No I saw, it was more like Lance was dragging you across the dance floor," I liked to push Keith's buttons. He barely had a reaction so it was always fun.
"Why don't you go dance with Hunk-"
"No!"
Keith was stunned for a second.
"Why?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest.
"Because he is still mad at me about the whole Nate thing and it's just not the right time," I conveniently left out the fact that Hunk and I fell asleep last night with Nate in between us, like a real family.
"If you don't start somewhere, it'll never happen," he chimed before he left to check in with Lance. Probably to make sure Lance doesn't kill Hunk or something.
I took a sip of my lemon water before I was yet again interrupted by my newly wed brother. I told Matt about what happened last night since it was killing me inside. He really had no words about it since he was having his own little crisis about getting married, but it worked out in the end (for him I mean).
"He's right," Matt said.
I groaned, "Thank you voice of reason."
"Just have one dance with him, please, for me?" Matt pushed his words, "It is my wedding and it would make me so happy if you would dance with him because-"
"Alright I'll do it!" I snapped.
Matt clapped his hands in triumph and ran off to be with Shiro again. Then, a slow song played over the speakers (it was a cover of Dance With Somebody, of course) and I did promise Matt I would dance with Hunk.
My heart and spirit sank to the floor as I oiled my legs to trudge them over to Hunk, Lance, and Keith. My heart fluttered in my chest as a radiant blush stained my cheeks.
"H-Hunk," I swallowed my pride and held out my hand, "Do you want to dance?"
Lance and Keith nudged him gently and he said, "Okay."
He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. I'm not much of a dancer, unless you count dancing in front of the bathroom mirror to some lame song I have on my phone.
Hunk was still taller than me (the top of my head reached his cheekbones). I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and clasped my hands behind his neck while he had his arms around my waist. We began to sway to the beat of the music and all I could feel was an intense anxiety building up inside of me. It wasn't a bad anxiety, but one that hurt right down in the pit of the throat and shot all the way down the chest, it kept reminding me that I could have had this if I told Hunk back then. I could have been so happy with him if I only opened my stupid mouth, but I let fear control me and now I'm having this awkward dance with the man I haven't seen in seven years who also happens to be the father of my son.
"What's up?" he asked, "You look like you're about to throw up."
"No, it's nothing," I lied through my teeth, "So, where do you live?" great Pidge, just sound more creepy. "I mean like, where do you live so I know how long it would take when you visit Nate and all… I'm sorry I make no sense."
Hunk laughed, "No, I understand completely. I live about five hours from here in Summorsville."
"No way, I do too!" I gasped, "Wow, have we been living in the same area and not known?"
"I suppose not, it's a big town," he said, "Well, just give me your number and we'll talk more about this. I'd really like to spend time with you and Nate. I want to make up for lost time."
"That's understandable," I said as I leaned closer to him, "And I'd like that too."
.,.,.,.,.,.
So, it happened. Over the next few months, Hunk came to visit Nate nearly every weekend. Nate and I went down to Hunk's bakery where Nate met Hunk's parents and now has free donuts for life.
My feelings for Hunk began to grow like a weed. I couldn't stand the thought of him being with anyone else which brought be back to when I was eighteen and fueled by jealousy. Instead of being irrational, I decided to tell Hunk while Nate was at a playdate with Callie (turns out Lance and Keith live close by as well).
I made sandwiches for us and put on an episode of Big Bang Theory (Hunk and I decided we wanted to watch the show together).
"Hey listen," I tapped my foot nervously on the floor as I scooted closer to him on the couch, "I… um… well, you might still be mad but look… I-I like you, like a lot, and I just wanted you to know how I felt and stuff." I looked away from him.
I felt warmth wrap around me as he threw both of us into a tight embrace. I felt relieved at his touch.
"I thought I was the only one that felt that way," he smiled, "I've liked you since I met you at the Garrison, we've been through so much and I'm so happy you feel the same!" He pulled away for a second, "Wait, what does this mean for us?"
I shrugged, "Whatever you want it to mean."
"Maybe like casual dating," he said, "Nothing serious because we don't want to give Nate any sense of false hope at all… N-not saying that-"
"-No I understand," I smirked, "I'm really happy."
One Year Later:
So Hunk and I casually dated for about a year. We spent more time together taking Nate out to the park or to the planetarium. He could pick up on what was going on between his parents.
Hunk came over to play with Nate for a while, but Nate had made a best friend in school and he would constantly play with him (turns out the kid lives in the same building so it wasn't that hard for Nate to run over to his apartment room). Hunk and I decided to take a nice relaxing day to watch more pointless sitcoms and question the logic behind them. We were laying on the couch, I was snuggled up against his chest dozing off but he would look over at me and kiss me to keep me awake.
"Pidge, let's date," he said.
"We already are dating," I said with my cheek squished against his pillow-like chest.
"No, I mean serious date," his words made my eyes widen, "I want to have a real relationship with you and call you my girlfriend. So, what do you think? I mean, we've done everything a couple does except getting physically intimate, which we don't have to do if you don't want!" I giggled at his rambling. "And," he cupped my cheek to make me look at him, "I love you."
Those three charming words… I've wanted to tell him that for ages, but I was worried it would drive him away.
My speechless expression made him squirm slightly until I kissed him sweetly. "I love you too," I smiled, "And of course I'll be your girlfriend," I leaned closer to his ear to whisper, "And of course I'd love to get physically intimate with you." which made him shudder.
"You're such a tease," he said before he claimed my lips with his own.
Four Months Later:
I sat anxiously on the toilet waiting for the stupid stick to tell me the truth. It's the fourth stick I've tried. The waiting is the worst part, almost like you're watching your life tick away as you wonder what to do/tell people.
The timer rang and I jumped to look at it. I saw two little pink lines on the tiny screen. I took a shaky breath and wrapped the stick in toilet paper to throw it away. A familiar fear settled in again. But I realized, it's different this time because I have Hunk and Nate to help me through this.
I walked out of the bathroom, only to run right back in and throw my guts up. I decided the time wasn't right to tell anyone since Hunk was in the process of moving in and everything was so hectic, it had to be a calm time.
But, a week later, Hunk was concerned so he called everyone he could, which happened to be all of Voltron plus Matt, Allura, and Coran. It took them a few days but everyone ended up in my apartment as if this was an intervention.
"Hunk told us about what's happening," Lance said.
"Mom, are you okay?" Nate asked. He had grown taller and he finally cut his hair, only an inch but that's still something.
I took a deep breath, "I was waiting until the right time to say this," I could see it in Nate's eyes… he knew… and he smiled. "I'm pregnant," I felt relieved to get that off my chest, "I learned last week, and I decided to go to the doctor to confirm this, she said I was about two months into the pregnancy."
Nate gasped and clapped his hands, "I'm so excited!" he cheered, "I'll finally have a little sibling!" Nate skipped the whole 'I want a puppy' phase and went straight to 'I want a little sibling'. He ran over to hug me, "Mom, I'm so happy for you!"
Hunk squeaked, "A-are they mine?"
"No Hunk, it's the mailman's," I said with sarcasm oozing from my voice. I shook my head and walked over to him to kiss his cheek, "Of course they're yours."
Everyone was ecstatic for Hunk and me. Mom urged us to get married, but I didn't want a shotgun wedding and we decided it would be best if we waited.
Nine Months Later:
It was the same process I had with Nate except this time Hunk was there with me. I'm pretty sure I punched Hunk more than once during the painful time, but after nearly 20 hours, I had my little baby in my arms.
He looked nearly identical to his brother except he has Hunk's eyes. I had to take a moment to remember this is real and I finally had a family again. Nate was set on naming his little brother Leo, for the constellation, which I was opposed to until I held the small bundle in my arms. Nate was on the bed with me and Hunk sat on the side. All of our friends and family were in the room with balloons and little teddy bears for the baby.
"What's his name?" Matt asked.
I stared into my baby's eyes. The child held such a powerful aura that I had to say, "Leo. Just like Nate wanted."
Nate giggled and rested his head on my shoulder as I basked in the serenity and safety of family. I was excited to show Leo the world, just like I did with Nate.
"Hi Leo," Nate cooed, "I'm your big brother, and I promise I'll keep you safe! I love you!"
Hunk wanted to hold Leo and I had to take a picture because Hunk began to cry out of the overwhelming joy from his baby.
I was lucky enough that my apartment had a spare room which I turned into a new room for the baby. Though, that room was the space I used to do my work, but it doesn't matter, as long as I have my family, I'm happy.
Eight years later:
So, if anyone is wondering what happened after all of that, I proposed to Hunk, which he said yes. Then, when Leo was two, Hunk and I got married. It also happened to be the same year Matt and Shiro adopted a little girl named Selina.
Then, when we wanted to move out of the apartment because Leo was getting older and we needed more space, Nate refused because the boy he was friends with (his name is Asher) was also the boy that Nate has a huge crush on. So, we learned Nate was bisexual. Nobody cared, as long as Nate was happy, we would be happy. Plus, with my brother being gay and my best friends being pansexual and bisexual, it helped me understand how Nate was terrified to say anything. But we moved out of the apartment, and Nate couldn't see Asher (well, after Nate told Asher how he felt, the two kissed and Asher's parents freaked out).
So, skip a few years to now, where Leo is eight and Nate is sixteen. Leo fell into the arts, he adored to draw and he baked with Hunk. Nate enrolled in the Garrison, which meant he was rarely at home, but I saw him everyday when I went to work because I work at the Garrison.
Nate went into my office, he was distraught and I could tell by the pout on his face. Nate turned into one of those scene-like kids, but he was only slightly like them, he still retained his quirky attributes.
"What's up Nate?" I asked as I set my glasses aside to give him my full attention.
"I haven't told you nor Dad this," he said, "B-but Asher is here. He's been here. Actually, he's my roommate."
Oh boy…
"And well, w-we've sort of started dating and things got kind of heated and-"
"-Nate why are you telling me this?" I butted in. I should tell someone, but I never played by the rules, plus I also broke multiple Garrison rules so I'll let this one slide.
"Because I…" and he was off.
I learned all about his love for Asher and his setbacks. Nothing in life has prepared me for this talk with my son. I told him that everything will work out, it always does, just like with Hunk and me.
"Mom," he said.
"Yeah?" I chewed on my bottom lip.
"Tell me the story of you and Dad," he said, "You promised you would tell me the truth when I'm older, and I'm sixteen. I want to know."
I took a deep breath, "Well…"
I decided to write it all down for him, so Nate, I hope you enjoyed reading the story you've been dying to know. I hope you'll find the perfect person, just like I have. I love you!
~Mom (Pidge Gunderson, for those who are tuning in. This is the Green Paladin signing off!)
Ryker: I'm whispering-wind-demons on tumblr so stop by and say hi!