If you love somebody
He watched her from afar as she sat twirling the diamond ring on her finger; watched as she stared off into the distance at seemingly nothing. People moved around her as if she were a piece of furniture, it was something that seemed to happen more and more often lately. The sparkle caused by their engagement had dimmed slowly over the last three months until finally it burned out completely. Suddenly she'd become the girl she'd always fought against becoming, the one who goes unnoticed, the girl with no shine. It had pained him the first time she stayed a step behind rather then beside him trying to control the urge to lead, that was the day the light in her eyes went out.
No longer bothering to pretend to listen to the man in front of him, he followed her gaze across the room fully expecting where it would land. Over all of the voices in the large room he could hear the laugh of a girl trying to hard to be noticed, she touched the arm of the man in front of her and none to discreetly trailed her fingers down to brush his hand. Discomfort had him squaring his shoulders and in a polite attempt to pull away he gestured to a waiter for a drink. It was clear to anyone who had been paying attention lately, his new girlfriend was nothing more then his way of telling himself that he was no longer the newbie on the Upper East Side, he now had status. Champagne in hand he took a sip and casually let his gaze wonder over the faces around him trying to find somebody to save him from the conversation. His search stopped abruptly and he lowered his glass, worry was evident in his eyes.
Though he wanted so badly to be able to laugh at the notion, Humphrey worried for Blair, he found himself unable to. His gaze returned to the brunette sitting quietly in the corner and found that her gaze had shifted to her hand, her face emotionless.
He tried to remember the last time he'd seen her smile and it occurred to him that it was in a Gossip Girl blast, a video of her and Humphrey exiting an old theater in Brooklyn. Knowing better then to argue with her over it, he chose instead to simply ask how her day was, she'd shrugged and responded that she'd went to a movie with Dan. That's how she referred to him now – Dan, not Humphrey or Lonely Boy, no Brooklyn or even Cabbage Patch, just Dan.
He watched as she pulled her cell from her clutch, she laughed then quickly typed back. She hadn't laughed in weeks; it was something he'd actually just yesterday been telling Serena he'd missed. A knot formed in his stomach and miserably his gaze returned to Dan just in time to see him look over at her and laugh with a shake of his head. The smile faded from Charlie's face and she followed his gaze; he watched as she and Dan exchanged a few words then as angrily she headed toward the pent house elevator. He watched as Dan looked back once more at Blair before following; once his back was to her, her smile once again disappeared and her attention went back to the ring on her finger.
She stepped off the elevator into the pent house and made her way silently into the living room.
The entire drive home had been silent. She'd sat beside him, her hand on his knee and stared out the tinted window as he stared down at the ring on her finger. He watched as she took off her coat and draped it over the couch then as she stepped out of her high heels and sat down. She picked up a bridal magazine from the coffee table and nestled back against the cushions. When she finally felt him watching her she looked up with a quirked eyebrow.
'What?'
'I'm leaving.'
'Oh. OK. What time are you going to be home?'
It was obvious she didn't understand what he was saying because her gaze returned to the magazine. Slowly he stepped forward and took the seat beside the couch, when he gently pulled the book from her hands and placed it back on the table, her eyes clouded with confusion.
'I'm leaving.'
'Ok…'
'Blair.'
Slowly the confusion faded and the meaning in his words seemed to register. Pain flashed across her face.
'Blair listen to me.'
'What the hell is wrong with you?'
'Please.
He picked up her hand, but in an instant she pulled it away. Tears fell from her eyes.
'Why do you keep doing this to me?'
'I'm doing it for you.'
She laughed and pushed up off of the couch and began pacing.
'Damn it Chuck! I gave up everything for you! Again!'
'I know.'
'Why are you doing this?'
'Because you're not happy.'
She stopped abruptly and a frightened look passed over her face.
'What?'
'I'm not an idiot Blair. You walk around here like zombie. I'm not the only one who see's it.'
Her head shook manically from side to side.
'You're insane. You're making excuses because you're afraid of making this commitment!'
'You're wrong; the only thing I'm afraid of is that I've lost you!'
'Lost me? You're leaving me!'
Again she began to cry and she fell into the chair on the other side of the coffee table.
'I would rather die then be without you Blair, but I can't be the reason you're unhappy anymore. You deserve to find out.'
She looked at him through blurry eyes.
'Find out what?'
'If you could be happy with him.'
The room fell silent as she shook her head in confusion. When it dawned on her who he was talking about, she wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at him like he was crazy.
'Dan? That's what this is about?'
'Blair don't say it's nothing.'
'It is nothing! It's so far beyond nothing that it's a Humphrey! We are friend's Chuck! Why is that still so hard for you to accept?'
'If that's all it was I would. Do you realize how hard this is for me; to see that not only have I lost you, but to him? He's Dan Humphrey!'
'I love you! I've always loved you! We're supposed to be together.'
'I know. '
'Then'
'But it doesn't mean we should be right now.'
Still crying she looked down at her ring and turned it from side to side, with a shake of her head she looked back to him and a sob burst from her lips.
'No. I can't keep waiting Chuck. First it was because you were too scared then because of Jack, then Jenny and then it was because we needed to find who we were without each other … It's one excuse after the other. You said you wanted to marry me.'
'And I do.'
He was pleading with her to understand that this was for her, but history wasn't on his side.
'Then Marry me. I'm tired of waiting for someday. It's now or never.'
He wanted to say OK, that he was sorry for ever bringing it up, but the video of them was on a loop in his head. Her laughing and smiling, looking completely at ease. For as long as he'd known her she'd been insecure and never completely comfortable in her own skin. He knew though that nobody had ever made any real attempt to diminish those insecurities; Nate's - and later his own, betrayal had only added to them and he knew for a fact that both he and Serena had used them against her on numerous occasions. Then there was Dan Humphrey, whom she had always looked down on but now seemed to be the only person she found real comfort with.
He felt his heart breaking as he shook his head; tears filled and burned his eyes as another sob echoed throughout the room.
'I can't Blair.'
She rose from the chair and picked up her shoes and coat. On unsteady feet she moved towards the elevator. There was a moment of silence then the sound of metal on glass and a small sob. The doors slid open but she didn't step inside.
'You're wrong and you're a coward.'
Her voice shook with held back tears; it took everything in him not to look back at her. It wasn't until he saw her reflection in the window stepping into the elevator that he chanced looking back.
'If you really believed that, you wouldn't have given up so easily.'
Something flashed in her eyes and the doors slid close. Slowly he walked to the elevator; there sitting on the table beside it was her engagement ring. He stared at it for a long time then moved to pick it up but jerked back instantly; with an animalistic howl he picked up the crystal dish beside it and threw it through the glass wall dividing him from the living room. With a wailing sob he fell to the floor.
He couldn't really understand what had happened. One minute they were having a perfectly normal conversation about something he couldn't for the life of him remember, and the next she was breaking up with him. Her reason was something about not being willing to be a consolation prize. He didn't understand what she was talking about and when he told her as much she just shook her head, kissed him on the cheek and left. It occurred to him after she was gone and he realized he had put up little to no fight what-so-ever, that he was never really as invested in the relationship as she was.
He unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his dress shirt while scanning his DVD's; glanced curiously at the clock in the kitchen when he heard the knock at the door and un-tucked his shirt as he made his way over. Fully expecting to find an apologetic Charlie on the other side, he was thrown when instead he opened it to a crying, barefooted Blair. There was a brief pause in his movement as his brain adjusted to what he was seeing, then worry kicked in and he threw the door open.
'What's wrong?'
She stuttered over her words as she tried to catch her breath but he was able to make out that it had to do with Chuck.
'What happened? Is he ok?'
Instantly his mind went to the worst case scenario. She let out another cry and held up a shaky hand. It took him a moment to realize what she was telling him. With a sigh he pulled her into his arms.
'It's going to be ok, I promise.'
She shook her head and a new wave of tears hit her. It hurt his heart to see her in so much pain; with another sigh he kissed the top of her head and pulled away. He tucked a stray curl behind her ear and then wiped the falling tears from her cheeks.
'Come on.'
He took her hand in his and led her over to the couch, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat down and pulled her down beside him, she buried her head into his chest and cried until she fell asleep.
AN: OK so I've loved all of this season up until the last few episodes. I'm so angry that they seem to be forgetting the Dan Blair relationship and are focusing so much on Chuck. I really can't stand even watching Chucks scenes anymore, his character just makes me mad and I admit that I have just fast forwarded through them before (gotta love DVR) oh and I wanted so badly to cry during the last Chuck/Blair scene! Oh and Serena! Grrr! ... but I digress lol. So sadly I see the season ending with Chuck and Blair getting engaged .. BLAH! lol and this story just popped into my head. It's short but I like how it turned out and I think I stayed pretty true to the actual characters ... if not oops sorry lol
Oh am I the only one who doesn't like Charlie? She's like the lesser version of Georgina (who I do like lol) and just all around crazy. I'm all for messing with Vanessa but this girl is just nuts ... Vanessa was quietly leaving and I was going to sigh in relief but nooo now she's going to have to stick around to scheme badly. =D I've obviously got my favorites haha
Anyway, I hope you like the story. =] Let me know! Review Review Review! Haha