This is a revised version. I only altered the ending sentences slightly to change how I wanted the story to change. Sorry for the false update, but I should have a new chapter in a day or so. I want to pick this back up and actually flesh it out. Thanks for your patience!
Author's Notes: This note will be a bit long winded due to me wanting to be forthcoming about the story. So I'll try to convey everything I wanted to for you all.
First off, I will attempt to stick to the canon as much as possible. This first chapter may make you think I won't, but so little is known about this time period that I have a little bit of free reign. That being said, I will have to make changes in the actual plot to make this work in my eyes. Feel free to correct me if I incorrectly put things out of order or anything else.
Secondly, Later on in the narrative I will branch further from canon. I dislike some things that occurred during the show and can understand why they happened, but I may change them at my leisure.
Third, the characters may seem out of character right now. But keep in mind their age. You may be thinking of them in terms of their more adult age in the anime. So bear with me, especially for the early chapters. I need to get a feel for the series and characters again.
Finally, please, please, please leave a comment. Reviews are the lifeblood of any author on here. Favorites and follows are great, but at the end of the day we want criticism for our works. Say what you like, what you dislike, what you want to happen. Or just totally rip into my story and tear it apart. At least I got that kind of reaction out of you. If I don't get enough reviews, I'll probably abandon this project because it just doesn't make it worth it for me to write for a mute or absent audience.
Shades of Crimson
The only sounds in the whitewashed hospital room was the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the occasional soft rustle of a page turning. A single black eye, half closed, gazed intently at the orange book in his hand. With a sigh, he memorized the page number and set the book on the nightstand.
He gazed out the window in deep thought, his only visible eye furrowed in doubt and sadness. The book had been a great distractor for the most part, but he had already read it three times. And images and snippets of memories flashed in front of his eyes despite his attempts to quell them. Warm blood running down his arm. The smell of ozone permeating the air…. Rin's face… life slowly fading from her eyes….
He was pulled from his thoughts with a start when he heard footsteps nearing his door. He took a look down at his arms and realized he was trembling. The heart monitor was going crazy, in sync with his erratic heartbeat. Perhaps that was the reason for the approaching person, a nurse checking to see if he was going into cardiac arrest. He quickly closed his eyes and slowed his breathing down to lower his heart rate.
The beeping rapidly slowed to a normal rhythm just as the door opened. In walked a girl approximately his age with shoulder length black hair framing a pretty face with a pair of intense red eyes. "Kurenai?" His voice grated out, rapsy from disuse.
"Oh, Kakashi" her eyes widening in surprise, "I didn't mean to intrude."
He glanced her way impassively, "I'm assuming wrong room?"
Kurenai looked down at the ground in embarrassment, "I was visiting Raido. He was hit by a few kunai during a practice session. The nurse gave me this room number though." Her face suddenly whipped up with the realization of how rude that may seem, "Not that I wouldn't come to check on you either! I didn't know that you were injured. I mean I heard that you had come back from….a mission…. But I hadn't heard that you were injured."
Ahh so she had heard about what happened. Faking an eye smile he waved her apology away, "It's fine, I understand. You should go see Raido." It wasn't that he did or did not want company. Talking to someone was a nice way to keep his mind away from… well his mind. But at the same time, he could see the wary glances thrown his way. Some with curiosity. Some with derision. Even a few with fear. What he really wanted was to just slip into the void for a while, to be completely away from reality. Maybe he should ask the nurse for some hefty pills….
Kurenai looked hesitant at him before unintentionally throwing a minute glance towards the door. She gave him a sheepish smile, "No, no. I'm already here, I may as well give you some company for a while."
"Well, alright." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.
The next few minutes passed in a very awkward silence as Kurenai sat in the chair to Kakashi's immediate left. The copy cat ninja sat up, rubbing his arm in anxiety before finally thinking up a topic, "you passed the Chunin Exam the last time through right?"
Kurenai's face suddenly brightened and nearly beamed in pride, "Yeah I finally made it! That final round nearly took it out of me too. Damn Genma…"
Chuckling lightly, Kakashi gave her a warm congratulations.
"Thank you," she gave him a full smile, practically radiating joy, "but nowhere near as impressive as you. You've already been a Jounin for two years."
The teenager only looked down at his hands clenching his sheet, "Yeah…. I guess so."
Thoughts came tearing back into his mind, threatening to tear away at his already damaged mind. Dark images pooling and gathering together, blending into a endless pit of despair. Suddenly, a warm presence squeezing his hand pulled him from himself. Looking up with a wide eye, he's greeted with a sad smile and red eyes full of compassion. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of…. Everything."
His cheeks turned red underneath his mask at her proximity and her hand upon his own. "No, no. It-it's fine." He managed to stutter out.
"If you say so." Kurenai replied, sinking back into the chair and letting go of his hand, but the care in her eyes remained.
The sudden loss of her hand left Kakashi's hand feeling very cold and out of place. "Anyway, how have things been around here?"
"Pretty decent, considering everything with the mist going on. But everyone's spirits are high thanks to the fourth."
Sounds just like Minato-sensei, inspiring hope. "Well that's good."
She looked over at him quizzically, "Has Lord Hokage visited you since… you got back?" He caught onto her uncertainty in describing his latest mission, but chose to ignore it.
"Yeah," Kakashi mumbled, "he was here in the morning. He.. uhh… assigned me to ANBU."
Kurenai's eyes were wide in shock, "What?! ANBU!"
"Yeah…."
The kunoichi fell back into the chair after she had almost jumped up. Her bright eyes staring off into space for a few seconds before refocusing, "That's amazing Kakashi!" She beamed at him, "That's really impressive."
The young Hatake was glad for the mask for yet again covering the blush creeping over his cheeks, "Thanks. But I'm not sure I'm really ready for ANBU."
"Of course you are. Out of our class, you would be the one to manage it." That smile again. But somehow her words helped to dispel his unease at the prospect.
The next few hours were pleasant for the two as they continued to talk about anything and everything. From Kurenai's antics with her squadmates, Asuma and Raido, to Kakashi's recent visit with Minato's wife Kushina. The masked ninja had never been one for talking, but he found himself pouring out conversation akin to floodgates being released to alleviate pressure on a dam. And while talking, he came to the realization of just how much he needed and enjoyed the release. It didn't hurt that his company also happened to be a cute girl.
Eventually, after quite a few hours had passed, during a slight lull in the conversation, Kurenai looked up at him with alarm, "Raido! I completely forgot."
Kakashi cast a glance at the clock, "You only have thirty more minutes for visiting hours. You should go see him while you can."
"You're right." she turned and gathered her bag from the ground, "sorry for staying so late."
"No problem, it was my pleasure." He gave her an eye smile even as he felt a wave of sadness at being alone in the room with himself again.
Her face swung to cast one last look at him with a smile while stating, "I'll visit you when you get discharged" Before he could reply, she was already gone with a small thud of the door shutting.
Somberly looking out at the setting sun emblazingly bathing the village in a mixture of a golden haze imbued with red streaks. Kakashi decided against reading and would try to sleep. For the first time since returning, he slept through the night.
Two days later, as promised, Kurenai arrived at the hospital ready to greet the discharged Hatake. To her surprise, she found his room empty. The sheets had been folded and none of his personal belongings were left in the sparse space.
Stepping out of the room, she quickly located the nearest doctor, "Excuse me, is Kakashi Hatake still in the hospital? Or was he discharged earlier?"
"What room num-?" the doctor suddenly stopped, "wait, the silver haired one?"
Kurenai nodded her affirmation. The doctor growled, "That brat has been ducking out of his room all week. We almost had to strap him to his bed. He left early this morning before his discharge was set." The man, clearly irritated, scoffed, "Out the damn window apparently."
"Thank you, sir" She bowed before taking off back out the doors.
"Ninjas" the old man rolled his eyes.
Kurenai already knew where he would be as soon as the doctor said he was gone. The one place he could talk to his old friends. Where they were immortalized into Konoha's history forevermore. The memorial stone.
Her footsteps became lighter and lighter as she approached the somber plaque. She could see a lone figure standing, hands in pockets, seemingly lost in thought as he gazed into the obsidian monument.
Despite her silenced footfalls, the youth turned to acknowledge her presence before she could make it all the way to him.
His eye showed recognition at her approaching form, "Oh Kurenai, hey." he stated before remembering their meetup, "oh sorry about taking off. I just wanted to visit." His hand waved at the stone.
She gave what she hoped was an understanding smile, "Of course. I know it's been a few days since you were able to visit them."
"Yeah…" His eyes misted over for a moment before he rubbed the back of his head, "So what now, seeing as how I'm discharged?."
"Self-discharged?" she giggled slightly, "Well how about losing the taste of hospital food?"
His eager nod was all she needed before leading them back to town. It was early in the afternoon by the time the pair made their way through the bustling streets of Konoha. Everywhere they walked people would look at them and talk in huddled groups. Either that or point them out directly. Confused as to their reactions, Kurenai strained her ears to try and hear the whispered conversations.
Through the heart.
Friend-killer.
I bet he killed his other teammate too.
A disgrace. Just like his father.
The young kunoichi was in shock. These villagers were throwing such unashamed and hurtful statement around without any knowledge of the situation. Oh god, she mused, how was Kakashi handling this? Her eyes, sympathy etched into them looked fully at her companion. His visible eye was in his standard bored, half lidded expression. His shoulders slouched slightly as they walked. But looking down at his hands, she could see veins forming on his wrist and the part of his hand not in his pocket turning white from pressure.
Trying to help, she quickened her pace. Noticing the change Kakashi looked curiously at her.
"I'm really hungry." She stated simply with a smile.
He shrugged in response but matched her speed anyway. After what felt like an hour they finally made it to the restaurant, even though it had been only around five minutes. Throwing aside the flaps they were greeted by the intoxicating aroma of the culinary delights within.
"Welcome to Ichiraku." The middle aged man smiled and beckoned from behind the counter.
The two proceeded to order their food and sit at one of the small tables. They exchanged some small polite chatter, but clearly the villagers words were weighing down the mood. Luckily, the food was delivered within a few minutes of ordering. Kurenai gleefully looked down at her steaming bowl before furtively looking up at the man opposite her. Let's see you eat without your mask she cackled to herself. However, the ninja made a few hand signs before moving his hand to his mask. Kurenai almost deadpanned as he lowered his mask only to reveal another mask. But he took no time in scooping up some noodles and putting them through the mask. Genjutsu she realized with a start. She could easily dispel it, but politely decided to leave him his privacy.
The meal passed mostly in silence as they ate. After clearing away the bowls though, Kurenai decided to just bulldoze the tension, "I'm sorry about what the villagers said." she said gently.
That bored expression still resided on his face, "It's alright."
"No it's not!" anger laced her voice, "They're wrong."
"No they're not." Kurenai looked directly up at Kakashi, but he had moved his eye to stare at the ground. "I killed my teammate. In cold blood I murdered Rin." His gaze finally turned up to meet hers. It held a sadness and pain that belied his relaxed posture.
The kunoichi hesitated, but decided she needed to press on, "I read the mission report." Kakashi visibly winced, "I know that's not how it happened She jumped-"
"It doesn't matter how it happened. Her blood is on my hands." There was a sharpness to his words, a warning.
Kurenai ignored this, "Well that's not how I see it. Or the rest of our class." She almost said friends, but realized none of them really knew the masked teenager enough to really be friends. Her tone softened, "And you shouldn't either. I know we can't take the pain away, but we can at least help."
His brow furrowed, but he nodded anyway. "Well, I'd better be going. ANBU training and all that is starting soon."
He lay some bills with the check before giving her a smile and disappearing in a swirl of leaves. Reaching for the bill, Kurenai suddenly blushed. There had been only one bill and he had paid for both of them. But it wasn't a date. She shook her head to dislodge any thoughts on that. Just two shinobi comrades sharing a meal to catch up. Standing up, she began to meander her way back to her parents house.
The next few weeks passed in quick succession for Kakashi. He trained daily to hone his abilities. His revitalized regimen had little to do with him and a lot to do with others. He wanted to become stronger to protect those he cared about. He was done losing comrades to his failings. And that circle of protection was widening. With Obito and Rin's deaths, Kakashi really only had Minato left and rarely saw him since becoming Hokage. However, his friendship with Kurenai had brought with it his old class of fellow shinobi. Slowly he was warming to these people. He still talked little, preferring to keep to the periphery and simply listen, but he enjoyed just soaking in the company and not being alone.
He was glad for the change of pace. But he was especially glad for Kurenai. It had been her forceful hand steering him away from lonely nights in the Hatake manor, to evenings filled with loud friends easing his mind with just their presence. Speaking of loud…
"Are you sure my eternal rival? It is a most dull challenge."
"Backing out already?"
Guy's eyes lit with a fire as he pumped his arm into the air and declared, "I will never back down from a challenge. Let us begin!"
Kakashi mentally facepalmed at the ease of his coercion, "Alright. 3...2….1…"
Both boys pumped their hands before opening them to reveal…
"Rock!"
"Paper."
Guy's face immediately fell, "Gah! Not again." quickly he sprang onto his hands, "As punishment for my failure, I will do fifty laps around Konoha on my hands!"
"Guy," Kakashi began, "That's really not necessary…."
The other teen just gave that toothy shimmering smile of his, "I must get stronger if I am ever to win against you, my rival!"
The young Jounin could only shake his head as Guy left a trailing cloud of dust in his wake as he took off, still on his hands. He turned his head as he heard a giggle coming from his flank. Kurenai's red orbs met his as he faced her, a smile still adorning her face, "He sure is something."
The boy beside her scoffed while staring at the fading trail, "I don't think that covers it."
Another small laugh escaped her mouth. "So what now?"
Noticing that they were alone with the sudden departure of Guy, Kakashi rubbed the back of his head in slight embarrassment. "Well," he hesitantly began, "how about we get a snack before it gets dark?"
"Sounds great."
It took them awhile to find an open stall with something decently priced. But finally, to Kakashi's dismay, they stumbled upon a dango stand. Sweets were not his things, but his companion seemed to be content with it, so he went along.
The boy paid the man for the sticks and turned to walk with Kurenai. He was met with a frown and an accusatory finger. "You have to stop paying for me!" she demanded, "I can pay for my own things, thank you."
He stared at her blankly before chuckling at her, "I was just being polite."
She let her hand drop, but her eyes still creased in slight annoyance, "Yeah, well don't let it happen again." she turned her head and folded her arms, almost pouting. "I can take B rank missions now since I'm a Chunin so money won't be a problem."
Still chuckling, the copy ninja merely shook his head as he walked down the road. Kurenai had to jog lightly to catch up and walk beside the boy, her annoyance already dissipated upon sinking her teeth into a dumpling.
The two enjoyed a comfortable silence as they ate, their feet simply choosing their destination with no apparent goal in mind. Before they knew it, they had drifted to a grassy knoll that was set high enough to look over the wall at the rapidly fading sun. Without warning, the kunoichi took off in a run to the top of the hill. The boy only raised an eyebrow at her antics, before she turned to him with a happy smile alighting her face and beckoned him over.
Shrugging his shoulders mentally, the Jounin slowly ambled over to where she was now sitting staring at the kaleidoscope of colors dancing across the sky. As Kakashi sat down beside her, his gaze landed and stuck upon her ruby pupils staring in delight at the fading of the day. Tearing his eyes away from Kurenai, he too stared off into the sunset.
The next half hour were spent in light conversation about various goings on in Konoha. The young girl was animatedly waving her hands around finishing a story about her team, "So sensei grabs Asuma and Raido by the heads while angrily shaking the life out of them. But at the moment the post they been practicing on finally splintered under their weight and all three fell into the water in a heap." She could barely continue, her breath coming in quick gasps in between cackling fits, "I don't think I've ever seen so much algae as sensei was covered in. He looked like a swamp monster come to life."
To his amazement, Kakashi found himself giving a full laugh at the conclusion of her tale. It felt good… to laugh again. It had been so long since he had actually felt the urge too. A smile remained underneath his mask after his chuckling finally died down.
The sky continued to darken, but with a dominant red bleeding into the sky turning the entire view into a crimson hued fire. He lay back and allowed himself to relax at he continued to stare at the sunset.
His eye widened in surprise as he suddenly felt another hand holding onto his. What surprised him more though is that he didn't immediately pull his hand back. The reaction to do so was there, but not as strong as the pacifying force retaining it where it was. A blush sprouted on his cheeks as he turned his eye to Kurenai. Her eyes were still staring at the diminishing light show, but her cheeks were dusted a pink as well.
Kakashi's heart thumped painfully fast in his chest at the contact. It was a strange feeling. It was peaceful and calming, yet so chaotic and turbulent.
Last notes: I apologize in advance for any mistakes or flaws in my writing as I only have myself to proofread and review. Please let me know if you spot any or if you want to say anything.
R&R :)