To Change or not to change
A/N I do not own anything you recognize. Sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for a new chapter of one of my other fanfictions. I have not abandoned them, I promise. Thank you for reading.
I won't change I won't. I have changed so many times in the past. Every time I loose myself. Loose what makes me me. Granted there are things in my past that I would rather forget, things I have done that I am ashamed of doing. Everyone has regrets though and things they want to change about themselves. Not like this though. Not changing myself in all totality.
Every timelord goes through such things. A crisis every time they regenerate. It takes time to find out who you are when a new man walks away from where you once stood. I have gone though it more times than anyone though. As I knew of noone but the Master who had gotten another set of regenerations. It never gets any easier though. I do not know if the Master feels the same. I have never asked them as every time we run into each other another crisis is going, mostly crisis of their own making.
It wears on you like nothing else. I am so tired. Tired of all the change. Of loosing who I am. I have been who I am for so long now. I can not see myself as anyone else. I feel like I just found myself, found out who the man I am was.
Now it seems that my time is coming to an end. I can not face it. I won't. Not even my Tardis can make me. I crush the regeneration back. I will not let it engulf me. Never again! No matter how much I shout it feels hopeless.
The Tardis stops its movement. We have landed who knows where. I didn't set any coordinates. Then again she always has taken me where she believes I need to be. It is obvious that she has brought me somewhere to regenerate. I do not care what she thinks. I will not change. I tell her as much. I will show her.
I exit my Tardis into a somewhat familiar snow covered landscape. I feel the energy trying to surround my atoms once again. I push it away. Extinguish it in the snow. Why would she bring me here?
I get my answer as I hear mutterings though the snow and a familiar figure appears. She can't have can she? She wouldn't? But she would. I know her well after all this time. If she thought she was helping she would bring me here, back to the beginning. To the time when I first changed. I just stare. What do I do now?